guy walks into a bar and orders a fruit punch.
bartender says, "pal, if you want a punch you'll have to stand in line."
guy looks around, but there is no punch line.
yo whattup JAKE here, i’m prolly the oldest granny in this group now i just realised oof. i don’t rlly care much for pronouns so use whatever you want for me. just fyi english is not my mother tongue, so pls excuse any mistakes. i’ve spent all day just reading puns and jokes on the internet and now i’m here with my best boi bo. y’all can read more about him under the cut.
( kim taehyung, nonbinary ) have you seen HAN “BO” BOYEON ? i heard HE/THEY is/are a YOUTUBE GAMER/BARTENDER at ATLANTIS. they’re 25 years old and they’ve been living in san verto for 15 YEARS. they tend to be COURAGEOUS & MISCHIEVOUS, but rumor has it they can also be IMPETUOUS & RETICENT.
oh bo(y), how to start
boyeon was born in south korea. he was the result of a one night stand between a married asshole man and a way younger single woman. he had lied to her telling her he’d divorce his wife, so when he didn’t go ahead and did that, she was heartbroken and almost went through with not having her bebe. she felt like her life was ruined basically.
which is also why boyeon was sent off to live with his grandparents bc she didn’t want him in his life. so yeah. they were honestly the loveliest and cared a lot about boyeon in their own strict, old-fashioned way.
fast forward about 8 years where his grandma unfortunately passes away from old age and boyeon honestly didn’t get much time to grief bc two years later his grandpa follow her bc he just couldn’t live with her, all that romantic jazz.
it completely broke boyeon who has honestly never rlly recovered from the extreme loss of both his “parents” that raised him from diapers. his mama still didn’t want him bc now she was also married with kids and had a whole life of her own. same with his biological dad, he was like nah this kid ain’t mine bYE.
they ended up settling on sending boyeon to murica where his estranged aunt lived. she said yes to take him in. here in san verto ayyyy
since he came here he hasn’t rlly spoken about his life and his story back in south korea. not that he wouldn’t tell people if they very specifically asked, he just.. is distancing himself from old pain ig
he has a lot of internalised pain and trauma and all that Good Shit
he is not openly non-binary bc he doesn’t rlly know what he is, my boy is confused and all he knows is just that “wtf is gender even” lmao he almost feels like he’s lacking a feel of gender like the only thing making him a “man” is his dong. it’s not that he doesn’t like being assigned man at birth, he just know he’s not it. if that makes any sense. if it doesn’t then its ok bc bo is also confused.
for now he uses he/him more than they/them bc he’s still figuring himself out and he/him is just what he’s grown accustomed to being called so it feels “normal”
he loves to travel and has been around quite a bunch. he knows four languages: korean, english, spanish and french. bc why not.
HE LOVES FUN
AND JOKES
AND PUNS
anything to emotionally distance himself from people and situations. bo is rlly out here being sarcastic when he shouldn’t, pulling pranks when he shouldn’t, smiling when he’s nervous..
pulling all-nighters with junkfood and twitch only to oversleep the next day, prolly having leftover chicken nuggets for breakfast
he is a skater, always on his skateboard, and has also practiced parkour before
his aunt moved out of the city for work reasons, but she still owns the apartment bo lives in. so he’s just paying the bills now instead of her, easy peasy lemon squeezy
boy would rather kick the bucket than be vulnerable. catch him laugh off death threats ok sometimes his sense of reality is a bit off and he’s grown to rlly suit the concept of YOLO. catch him even say that shit (don’t look at me)
i wouldn’t put it past him to wear socks in sandals tbh. and question why tf a balaclava isn’t “appropriate winter clothing” ndsbfsnd
bo lowkey has a black belt in taekwondo, knows how to fire a gun and is courageous to the point of almost being fearless. only thing he rlly fears is being alone and smth happening to his loved ones. (but shh dont tell him i told you)
he can honestly be a lil shady but regardless of his dumbassery i’d say he’s got his heart in it all.. maybe.. ish
also he’s never rlly been in love. he’s had big crushes, but what comes easily goes away easily. you get the idea
omg i almost forgot, boy knows how to play the drums and the trombone simply bc he wanted to be able to play this....just this...
location: atlantis
time: like sevenish? things are starting to get messy
status: closed for @boisbo
“how are we doing here?” nico asks bo as he returns to the bar from another round of gathering empty glasses. it was usually a boring chore, but having to weave his way through a crowd of drag queens, kings, and otherwise iconically dressed spectators had added some fun to the job. it had also added the long pink wig he now sporting, placed on his head by a drag queen like she was ceremoniously placing a crown on his head. nico put the empty glasses he was holding down, then flipped his hair over his shoulder in a dramatic gesture, winking at bo. “bitch i look good right now. you wished you looked like this.”
as bo turned his head to look over at nico, he burst into a fit of laughter, vigorously shaking two drinks at the same time. much could be said about bo; much of it maybe not the best, but he was one heck of a bartender for sure. “ you’re looking fantastic, miss - ... um, miss - what may i call you, miss? “ he indirectly asked nico for his improvised drag name, as his experienced hands managed to fix both shakers at once, looking back in order to pour the two drinks simultaneously into their respectful glasses. bo himself had also been too willing a victim of people ‘beautifying’ him; his plump lips looking even fuller now in a shark red lipstick, fake pearl earrings in both ears and a miniature but still very fancy top hat secured onto his head through a clip attached to his hair. throwing a straw in each drink along with each the appropriate garnish, he handed them over to the guests. “ i think pink looks good on you, bitch! you should dye it, “ he laughed before taking another order. it was not-so-surprisingly crowded at atlantis tonight, yet again tonight.
after five shots of alcohol and almost an hour of looking for their friends, yooseung opted to take a short break from walking around, dragging boyeon (his only companion) to silver spoon for ice cream to munch on while they rest. bora, mike, and eugene were nowhere to be found, and as much as he’d appreciate their company right now, there were far too many sweaty people to push through. it’s been a while since he spoke to boyeon, yooseung thinks, absentmindedly licking at his ice cream. it has also been a while since they hung out, and if it weren’t for yooseung’s tipsy little brain, he would have just fucked off somewhere else. “hey, look at that.” his gaze is trained on the big, pink panther floaty passing by them. from their spot on the bench, it looked enormous. like… like godzilla, but pink. and slimmer. “damn,” he says, unable to take his eyes away from it, “that’s a big ass balloon.”
it was an odd feeling, something boyeon hadn’t experienced before really.. this feeling of craving something, or rather someone. it was the feeling of being separated, not talking, the dead silence that followed an argument, the serious look on yooseung’s face upon realising they were stuck together for now, it was the blanket suddenly being too big for him ( and how he oddly enough missed it being too small to wrap around both of them, having to trade a cold back for a happy yooseung, greedy for the blanket ).. it was the feeling of loneliness and ostracisation. bo wasn’t used to these emotions. he’d done what he always did; push them aside, repress them, avoid, deny, distract.. but now that he was here with the shorter one, he found it hard to ignore. a snort left him as he looked up at the pink panther floaty. “ i thought you were gonna stop at just big ass, “ he couldn’t help but chuckle, the alcohol making him feel silly, “ it is a big ass on that panther though, look at the glutes on that one! “
“again?!” michael laughed loudly at the sight of the tequila gun yet again. bo never disappoints, clearly. by now he’d gotten separated from his friends in the chaos and somehow ended up here, late at night with a bi flag tied around his neck like a cape, and excitedly grinning at the toy gun bo was holding.
‹ @boisbo ›
as per usual standards bo had become the proud owner of a tequila gun that he used on several of the people around him, friends as stranger, waving their colourful flags around. “ oh it’s not just the tequila gun that’s back! “ he said in a mischievous tone, looking up at mike with a single wiggle of his brows, “ the lemon juice is here too! “ he pulled out a small squeezable bottle of concentrated lemon juice, all good and ready to go for that squirt of relief to chase the tequila with.
after her talk with yooseung, hana had needed to be alone. there was a lot to process and her mind was still reeling from all the information that had been given to her. turns out her suspicions had been spot on, and she really wasn’t sure how she felt about that. so, she’d gone to the one place that she knew yooseung wouldn’t go anywhere near - the skatepark. but in her attempts to avoid bumping into her best friend, she’d forgotten about the people that did frequent labyrinth like she did.
sitting on the deck at the top of the half pipe, hana was leant back on her elbows and staring up at the sky above her, the cool breeze blowing her hair back from her face, oblivious to her surroundings. then a bump on her foot pulled her back to the present, and she looked down to see a figure on the ground and a board rolling back away from her. bo. of course he’d be here. he used his nickname for her and approached, and a tight smile appeared on her face. “hey bo,” she said after a moment of pause. she had no idea if bo knew about her and yooseung’s talk, if he knew that she knew everything, but if he did he was employing his usual avoidance tactic. “nah, i’ve done enough skating for one night,” she said dismissively. she too was a big fan of ignoring her problems instead of facing them, and quite frankly the last thing she wanted to do was talk about it all for a second time.
compared to how hana had always been in their relationship back when they had dated, compared to how hana had been at that very day when they’d sat down to paint each other’s faces, compared to how hana usually was; silly, easy-going and sometimes even talkative.. this felt off. boyeon felt the air around them and it was cool and distant. not his, no. hers. he wasn’t sure if it was just an odd type of overthinking, but she just felt.. unusual. a light whisper in the tree tops near by as the wind ruffled through them, bo decided to keep trying for the smile and the good spirit. “ welp. sounds like someone’s not really in the mood. but you know what would maybe get you in the mood for some skatin’? beer. you want beer? “ he asked, desperate to get out of this awkward situation. he didn’t know how to help her if that’s what she wanted, he didn’t know how to handle her if she just didn’t wanna be near him or was tired. being her ex, only just recently having gotten back on good terms with one another ( semi ), he figured this was a normal feeling for him to have. nevertheless, it was an uncomfortable emotion and so he tossed it aside. bo sat down next to her, nudging her gently with his elbow. “ what d’you say? “
charlie couldn’t remember much at first. she had to confirm with a few friends to make sure what she could remember was correct. everything was so overwhelming, to the point where she had to busy herself with her freelancing work to get things off of her mind. especially anything that had to do with what happened between her and nico. despite the two talking about it, it was still a lot to take in.
and now that she was done with work and had nothing more to do, charlie figured another good distraction would be the skatepark. it was so late at night, yet she couldn’t find it in herself to care. she stopped and picked up her board when she heard a familiar voice, turning her head, only to see someone she’d never really considered a friend. but a friend of a best friend. “you wish i was your fan.” charlie rolled her eyes. just hearing him speak reminded her of how much energy she used to spend trying to tolerate him. in the past few years that she was away, she became a lot less annoyed by everything and anything in front of her; she actually surprised herself by the fact that she was smiling at bo right now. “fine.” she shrugged. “what’s up? isn’t it a little past your bed time?”
“ ha! you wish! you just wanna see me gone, but no no, “ bo shook his finger in a denying gesture, “ it’s not so easy to get rid of moi, miss charlie. you need to try a lid’le ‘arder. “ his accent slowly turned more and more friend as he spoke the last sentence. dumbassery was never lacking when around bo. he stepped down from his skateboard, flicked it up into his grasp and sat down next to charlie. after everything that had happened at the after-party down at the docks, people had certainly been acting more and more weird by the hour. even charlie seemed to have some kind of grey cloud hanging above her head. back to his normal accent, boyeon spoke up again, a big grin upon his face from her teasing words. “ who are you, my mum? damn, you’re looking good for your age! psst, “ boyeon leaned in ever so slightly and whispered, “ what’s your secret? “ eyebrow raised as if he was dead serious and anticipating her answer. they’d never rlly been friends-friends.. just kind of acquaintances. ‘cause of nico. boyeon had never had the slightest against charlie, rather the exact opposite he found her kinda cool. he wasn’t stupid though and had indeed gotten the feeling that she hadn’t been all too fond of him. unfortunately.
feeling the other’s warmth, it doesn’t take long for yooseung to lean against boyeon, too emotionally spent to stay prideful. right now, he doesn’t feel like being an asshole, or playing hard to get—he just wants to cry. running to boyeon is the last thing he should be doing, but he doesn’t know who else to turn to. “i don’t want to lose my best friend,” his voice is wet, though he chooses to ignore this and press his forehead against boyeon’s shoulder blade. boyeon’s attempt to comfort him is pointless, muted as blood pounded in yooseung’s ears. his bitter, cynical mind is taunting him. it doesn’t matter anymore, hana hates him, he’s a liar, he broke their friendship. the only true friendship he had—yooseung sucks in a stuttering breath, shaking hands moving around boyeon’s middle. breathing was hard. really hard. like he’d lost all his oxygen hiking up mount everest. why did he have to fuck everything up? he wasn’t in the position to cry over this, though. he didn’t deserve to be upset over losing a friendship he ruined. “maybe,” he manages to choke out.
it wasn’t often that one would see boyeon in a serious mood, let alone a deeply empathetic and worried one, but... alike everybody else bo was a complex human being, they weren’t one-dimensional nor two-dimensional. there were many layers to their person and even though it took a lot of tacky, bright and seemingly shallow layers to get through before you got to really see.. who exactly bo was. his heart was a big and strong, protective heart. when his loved ones were visibly hurting, he’d forget about himself, cast himself aside and allow for them to feel all that they felt. like yooseung right this very moment. it seemed like he was almost crying which surprised boyeon. not only did yooseung come off as a cold-hearted and nonchalant person, to some, he also had never cried or shown vulnerability in front of bo before.. not like this. so it startled the taller one, for sure, and the muscular drummer arms wrapped themselves around yooseung. “ you’re not gonna lose her, yooyoo.. look, i know she wants to come off as this super tough, heartless motherfucker, but she’s not. hana is a smart girl and you guys are like, really great friends, no? i don’t think she’d just trash a friendship like that, “ his deep voice filled the room where silence was ruling, only occasionally interrupted by yoo’s failed attempt at not losing it. without realising, boyeon was slightly rocking from side to side in a soothing motion, like you would a baby or a child. “ give her some time, yeah? till then we can listen to music and order food and watch any movie you’d like. doesn’t that sound good? “ he asked.
nico sat cross-legged on his best friend’s couch, trying to get his player, toad as per usual, safely across the finishline, and also preferably in first place. that wasn’t easy however, because every time bo began yelling at the screen, nico couldn’t help but laugh at them, almost steering himself off the road. nico didn’t understand how he’d been able to live in an entire different city away from bo for four years of his life, because now that he was back even the 5 days they’d spend apart felt like they’d been too long. and nico still had so much to talk about with bo. but every time he was about to do so, something held him back. it was stupid, they were best friends. they should be able to talk about everything. “fuck off yourself!” nico cussed right back, slamming toad’s car into luigi’s for no other reason than spite, before speeding off again. for a moment nico thought he might win, but suddenly a blue shell send toad spinning and nico groaned dramatically as he watched luigi overtake his own little mushroom. nico had never been a very good loser. “this is fucking stupid. your game is rigged or something. i was winning! fuck!”
bo had always been a very vocally and physically expressive player, yelling at the screen, pressing buttons with a little too much force, doing all sorts of facial expressions that smoothed themselves out and into a big grin the second he saw his little green player cross the finish line as the first one, the music playing as the winning-animation of luigi started rolling. “ im’a luigi! number’a one! “ boyeon exclaimed before listening to the outburst of disappointment that came from nico. “ oh suck it up. you’re just not on my level, y’know, expert level, “ boyeon unnecessarily bragged about having gotten in first. laughing he bend his upper body forward and reached his long arm out for the bowl of popcorn he’d made for them both, taking a huge bunch in his hand before sitting back and stuffing his face.
