royally screwed | jack doohan social media au
pairing: jack doohan x fem royal!reader
head up king, your tiara is falling
liked by jackdoohan, danielricciardo and 1,204,899 others
tagged: pierregasly & francocolapinto
f1: that’s something both franco and the alpine mechanics won’t want to see back… the argentine takes both himself and his teammate out of the race!
user1: i’m so sorry all the karma got directed to you franco i was aiming for flávio i swear
user2: idk what kind of voodoo protection that old man has but even my etsy witch can’t defeat it
user3: what if we ALL paid etsy witches?
user4: not gonna lie guys there’s an easier way to deal with this… it’s called a dark alley and a charging car
user6: honestly? valid reaction at this point
alpinef1team: we’ll get them next time!
user7: but who is getting YOU?
user8: sorry social media admin but i’m sad so i fear you’re going to have to hear about it
user9: how DARE you make jack do all of those stupid ass tiktoks and let me get attached :(
user10: making him do all of this social media stuff and didn’t keep him around long enough to finish his soft launch
user12: it was so carefully planned and everything
user13: really? that’s what you’re angry about?
user12: let me live? i’m in mourning and thinking about his actual career will make me crash out heavier than the alpines today
user14: okay you have a point
user15: rip alpine you would’ve love jack doohan … oh wait!
user15: @alpinef1team CHOKE
this comment was liked by oscarpiastri, daniel ricciardo, jackdoohan and yourusername
user15: oh WOW my comment collected some big likes
user15: oscar? yeah makes sense. daniel? cool aussie bromance. jack? obviously. y/n windsor? WHY THE FUCK IS THE PRINCESS OF ENGLAND IN MY LIKES?
user16: she has an account?
user17: it’s all her charity stuff mostly but she has been caught like sports stuff before lol
user18: y/n idk what kind of powers come with being a princess but i know you’re next in line so PLEASE GET JACK HIS SEAT BACK
user19: actually any seat will do we’re not fussy
user20: alpine… look at what you’ve made us
yourusername and jackdoohan
liked by oscarpiastri, kimiantonelli and 13,983,029 others
yourusername and jackdoohan: surprise! jack and i have finally decided to make our relationship public as we continue to prepare to settle down.
we first met many years ago when i was on duty at the british grand prix and met a very charming boy who was racing in formula 3 at the time, and i have been smitten ever since.
i have supported jack in his racing and wanted to make that support public in these particularly tough times.
while i’m sure this is a big shock for you all, we ask that you continue to respect our privacy.
user21: i can’t tell if this is helping my alpine induced misery or not
jackdoohan: you knew i was in a relationship ?
isackhadjar: i’m sorry but how was i meant to deduce that “my girlfriend y/n” actually means the princess of england
jackdoohan: do i not seem princely to you?
isackhadjar: do not try and set me up
isackhadjar: unless there’s some eligible royals who can get down with a freaky lil guy like me
yourusername: probably not best to frame it that way?
isackhadjar: yes, your grace! (am i doing it right i’ve only ever watched game of thrones)
yourusername: you can just call me y/n, isack
user22: so i thought this would excite me more but now im just thinking we could’ve gotten these type of reactions on film and in the paddock
user23: how do we know they’re not being filmed
user24: i’m in their walls
jackdoohan: can i have the aussie seat after you win the championship pretty please ?
oscarpiastri: i am not answering that until you tell me how the fuck you ended up in the british royal family?
jackdoohan: can you not read anymore? y/n explained it pretty well in the caption…
oscarpiastri: i’m gonna need some more detail
yourusername: you’re more than welcome to come for some tea at ours oscar
oscarpiastri: AT THE PALACE?
oscarpiastri: i mean - yeah that sounds good to me!
kimiantonelli: ME TOO IM COMING TOO
olliebearman: i can’t believe you’ve not invited the only british rookie jack :(
jackdoohan: idk if you guys missed it but im not a rookie any more, im not even a driver
yourusername: enough of that, you can all come for tea and we’ll do some visits to the london hospitals while we’re at it
gabrielbortoleto: yay count me in!!!
isackhadjar: today just keeps getting better and better
user25: dropping this news to distract from the fact that he got dropped for the far superior driver
user26: i wouldn’t be surprised if his woman drops him for franco as well
yourusername: first of all, i am no one’s “woman” get that right and second of all, jack is the kindest, funniest and most gentle man in the world and you’d have to move heaven and earth to take him away from me
jackdoohan: i love you <3
user27: oop - she told yall
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tagged: olliebearman, jackdoohan & yourusername
kimiantonelli: yo this royal stuff is kinda crazy …
user28: fomo has never fomo-ed this bad before
user29: the fact that she knew this would get a load of publicity so she used it for good >>
user30: and this is why she’s my fave royal !!!
yourusername: i hope you had a wonderful time kimi! thank you so much for joining us.
kimiantonelli: are you kidding? that was insane !!!!
kimiantonelli: and also it was very fun to meet all of the children
kimiantonelli: but can we please take the aston martin for a spin again ???
kimiantonelli: like y/n didn’t tell us that you take her for drives in it all the time …
yourusername: what? you’re an amazing driver and i love watching you do what you love!
user31: i wish alpine weren’t such FUCKHEADS i want this dynamic at silverstone so bad
user32: if they didn’t fumble this bad we could’ve gotten a monaco situ where she could’ve presented the trophies every year
user33: you could’ve shot me and it would’ve hurt less
kimiantonelli: you guys good? sorry you weren’t cool enough to be invited
maxverstappen1: i’m literally an officer in the order of orange-nassau???
lewishamilton: I WAS LITERALLY KNIGHTED BY Y/N?
yourusername: sorry gentlemen, you should’ve spoken up sooner. however, jack and i are hosting a charity ball between canada and the red bull ring?
alexalbon: i’m so there, security are telling me the ball is weeks away but im so there
georgerussell63: omg my first royal event… gasp!
user34: obsessed with how the grid get so excited about all of this
user35: max … asking to go to an event ???
user36: and to think we could’ve had it every weekend :(
liked by jackdoohan, isackhadjar and 12,309, 788 others
yourusername: it was such an honour to host this dinner to raise funds for the youth art network! so many children in our country are being pushed out of artistic fields because of the lack of funding, hopefully with these funds and the continued support from jack and i, we can help keep britain creative!
user37: they’re actually so precious to me
user38: this is such a great initiative i’m so glad they do things like this with their money and time!
user39: i’ve honestly never seen jack happier
user40: good for him!!! making the best out of a bad situation - this probably also means he won’t be going back to f1, at least not with alpine
francocolapinto: jack might not be in this garage anymore, but i'd still love a visit from you
user42: this is really not cool
pierregasly: let’s delete this while you can
francocolapinto: shooters shoot, isn’t that what you said?
pierregasly: yeah to a girl at the bar maybe, not a royal who is very clearly in a relationship
francocolapinto: i took his seat, i can take his girl too
francocolapinto: you’re saying you can’t give me one chance to convince you of my worth?
yourusername: at this point you have one chance to convince me why i shouldn’t find the one legal loophole that means jack can kick your ass
yourusername: there’s no charming your way out of this one, franco. jack has done nothing to you and yet you allow your fans to send him countless death threats and flirt with his fiancée openly. find some respect for yourself franco, you won’t be this young forever.
user44: i can’t even get caught up on the way she snapped here because of the FIANCÉE mention
user45: no this bro must’ve been testing her patience because never in my life have i seen her snap at someone like that
user46: so valid from her though
user47: honestly i’d throw hands for less
jackdoohan: always an honour to just be at your side and help you achieve the wonderful things you do
yourusername: even when i accidentally reveal our engagement while having an argument on the internet
jackdoohan: especially then
yourusername: i love you!
yourusername: and i know doohan was a pretty cool name for merch before, but i feel like windsor could look pretty good on a car or a cap
jackdoohan: if it means i have a little piece of you wherever i go, sign me up
user48: aside from confirmation that he’s going to take her name - ON A CAR? doohan return confirmed ?
user49: they need to stop playing with my feelings so many times on one post
user50: so this might be a royal fuck up from franco right?
liked by jackdoohan, yourusername and 2,309,472 others
f1: BREAKING: flávio briatore has been forced to resign from his position as team principal at alpine! princess y/n windsor and jack doohan attended the friday of the british grand prix where briatore was served by windsor’s legal team, who had found that the contracts given out by briatore were not legally binding. briatore left the paddock on the friday evening long before windsor and doohan, who were seen with a number of team personnel from across the paddock. Colapinto will complete this race weekend but his future with the team is now up in the air.
user51: one moment of peace and quiet in f1, that's all i ask
user52: i can't even go to sleep without waking up to five breaking news graphics
user53: honestly? if they were all like this i wouldn't mind it...
user54: jack and y/n being in the likes is so funny to me
user55: babe they're not just in the likes, they were there in person to deliver the news
user56: i knew flavio should've been worried when the relationship was revealed... those royals WILL have the best lawyers
user57: i mean i only just found out that flavio is/was jack's manager?
user58: HE WAS JACK'S MANAGER?
user59: i know their lawyer was just as bamboozled as us
pierregasly: CAN I PLEASE GET A DRINK? PLEASE?
user60: bro it's only friday ...
pierregasly: I HAVE NO TP? I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH MY TEAM?
pierregasly: no yall did what you had to do but i was hoping i could maybe get a bottle of something top shelf for my troubles
kikacgomes: and maybe a horse ride at the palace ???
charles_leclerc: can leo meet the corgis???
lewishamilton: u.k. met gala when?
jackdoohan: oh so i get engaged to a princess and suddenly you all want to be my friend?
pierregasly: WOAH ignore all of them, we're the victims here!
yourusername: at this point, if we can turn it into a charity event, we can do whatever you want
maxverstappen1: this is a dangerous precedent
maxverstappen1: and i'm willing to find the limits
user61: i'm having visions of the f1 grid at a royal wedding...
user62: does max know he can't wear skinny jeans to a royal wedding?
maxverstappen1: please refer to my last comment
user63: does he know that the secret service can shoot him on sight if he does wear them?
jackdoohan: that's true... they told me themselves!
jackdoohan: i am protecting the dress code of our future wedding!
kimiantonelli: i guess you could say he's royally screwed
kimiantonelli: i thought it was funny :(
kimiantonelli: no worries guys y/n told me irl she thought it was funny
kimiantonelli: I SAID NOTHING
liked by oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc and 4,920,482 others
jackdoohan: jack WINdsor at your duty! i've been given a second chance at my dream, but i wouldn't be here without my family and my amazing fiancee. i promise i'll make you proud.
user64: i WILL not cry about this
user65: i tried not to but BABY JACK
user66: i think people forget how young he still is :(
yourusername: i'll forever be proud of you, my love. no matter what
yourusername: however, i think the palace would look extra dashing with some trophies ...
jackdoohan: for you? anything
yourusername: oh my charming boy, i'm not sure i want to share you with f1 again so soon
jackdoohan: but you will come with me won't you?
yourusername: to be without you is a thorn in my side
user67: FUCK ME THEY'RE SO CUTE
user68: i love them so much
user69: i don't think yall are ready for the level of paddock fashion we're going to get with a literal princess...
user70: wait - what happens when as inherits the throne?
user71: i think jack would have to retire
user73: that's just how the royal life is
jackdoohan: and i'll do it
yourusername: i appreciate the concern everyone, but my mother is in good health and has many, many years left as queen
user74: jack doohan/windsor first kilf (king i would like to fuck)
user74: i've been blocked by y/n ????
oscarpiastri: you got MARRIED WITHOUT US ???
jackdoohan: once again, can you not read a caption?
oscarpiastri: i just saw windsor and started yelling at my phone
user75: obsessed with how jack having a f1 seat is actually great for the british government
user76: diplomatic relations are on the UP because government officials come to races to meet and talk with y/n
user77: and the fact that they both still find time to do charity work in each country they go to.. they’re so precious to me
yourusername: i never thought i'd be planning a royal wedding around the formula one calendar, but there's a first for everything
jackdoohan: but a summer wedding is so cute?
yourusername: i know, my love
yourusername: but flower picking via face time has been a struggle
jackdoohan: i know whatever you choose will be perfect
jackdoohan: just like you
yourusername: i love you, sweet talker
jackdoohan: i love you too sweetheart
note: as you can tell I AM NOT HAPPY. i like franco but justice for my queen jack. updates for you all, other side of the moon chap 7 is about 80% done so that's exciting !!!! hope you are all good despite the many many horrors lol xx
