Peter Solarz
RMH
occasionally subtle
NASA
JVL
cherry valley forever
Product Placement
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
roma★
taylor price
we're not kids anymore.
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Kaledo Art
Game of Thrones Daily
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art blog(derogatory)
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@bombshallxo
I used to think that loving you would be enough
I used to believe that if I loved you enough and spoke life over you, you'd change into the person you were created to be and live up to your potential. But I learned that my love will never be enough to change you or keep you.
I want black women to release the pressure of having to be everything for everyone. I want us to let go of our superwoman cape and let go of the idea that we have to conform to fleeting beauty standards. I want us to live for ourselves. I want us to keep our best interests in mind. I want us to feel comfortable in our skin. I want us to feel secure in our environments. I want us to love and take care of ourselves. I want us to choose relationships, careers and opportunities that will nourish us as opposed to deplete us. I want us to know our worth and value. I want us to realize we’re the prize. I want us to reclaim our womanhood. I want us to build personal autonomy outside of society’s stereotypes and biases. I want us to hold security, respect, love and kindness as our non-negotiable standard. I want us to know we don’t have to settle. I want us to know that better exists.
Introduction to the Black Femininity Series | Part One
“Femininity—also called womanhood—is defined as a set of characteristics, behaviors, and roles generally associated with girls and women. Femininity is made up of both socially defined and biologically created factors. Femininity is an internal expression before it is an external appearance.”
The History of Black Womanhood
The suppression of femininity in black women mainly has its roots in racism, colorism and sexism. The societal circumstances that many black women live in forces them to take on roles out of survival, not choice. Many black women have been conditioned to perceive femininity has weakness so, as a way of protecting themselves, they suppress it. Instead of expressing their femininity, many black women have internalized the stereotypes that society projects on them. An example of this is the “strong, independent black woman” stereotype. This stereotype places pressure on the shoulders of black women to help everyone else while receiving little in return because of the idea that we’re strong enough to handle things on our own. This toxic concept of pseudo-strength forces black women to further suppress their true emotions and feelings. When the accumulation of suppressed emotion is finally expressed, we get labeled another stereotype—the “loud, angry black woman”.
In some cases, the suppression of black femininity is even passed down generationally as black mothers can sometimes suppress their black daughters’ femininity. Many black girls, myself included, weren’t allowed to express their femininity during their childhood and adolescence.
Release the weight of this old paradigm.
Allow yourself to be feminine. Let go of the “strong, independent black woman” archetype. You are not obligated to carry this weight on your back. Your identity is not being a bag lady. It is not possible to develop your femininity when you’re dragging around stagnant weight. Let it go and build boundaries. Let go of your super-hero complex. Let go of the “obligation” to “save” other people. Set healthy boundaries and focus on yourself. Take care of yourself. Work on yourself. Care about yourself. Know your worth. Be so fully grounded in your self-worth that nothing and no one can take you out of your element. Give yourself the love, attention and care you’ve continuously extended to others. Be self full and fill your own cup. Commit to loving yourself and raise your standards.
Abundance Mindset vs. Scarcity Mindset
An abundance mindset is a mindset of confidence. Thinking abundantly means that you know you have enough and you will always receive. A scarcity mindset, however, is a mindset of lack. Thinking scarcely means that you feel you don’t have enough and you won’t receive. One mode of thinking is based on security and the other mode of thinking is based on insecurity. Society has conditioned us, as black women, to think with scarcity and accept less. To reclaim our femininity, we must cultivate an abundance mindset.
Thinking abundantly means allowing ourselves to be open and receptive. Receptivity is an aspect of femininity. We must eradicate the “strong, independent black woman” mentality (scarcity mindset) and replace it with a receptivity mentality (abundance mindset). To be open, heal the source of what’s suppressing your femininity. To be receptive, practice accepting compliments, gifts and help with grace. Allow yourself to receive. Believe that you’re worthy of living a life filled with love, peace, respect, opportunity and stability.
The Role of The Media
Brands use the media to culturally appropriate and they often profit from it.
Black outrage is a marketing tactic that brands use to get more views, clicks and exposure. Aspects of black girlhood & womanhood (such as hairstyles, bodily features and style) get picked apart and repackaged by brands under the guise of cultural appropriation which creates attention. Brands thrive off of any social media attention because its essentially free marketing.
Your attention is an investment. Attention is an important thing because it can condition your mentality. What you see and hear repeatedly eventually become a belief. Your beliefs will motivate the majority of your decisions and ultimately the way you carry yourself in life.
Regulate Your Attention. Ignore anything that may cloud your perception of yourself. Instead, surround yourself with positive images and examples of black womanhood. Block and ignore anyone or anything that tries to suppress your femininity. Clean up your social media of anything that hinders you. Replace it with content that uplifts, motivates and nourishes you. Fill your space and surroundings with what you want to see more of.
Aaliyah - Come Over (2002, Background/ Universal Records)
Introduction to the Black Femininity Series | Part One
“Femininity—also called womanhood—is defined as a set of characteristics, behaviors, and roles generally associated with girls and women. Femininity is made up of both socially defined and biologically created factors. Femininity is an internal expression before it is an external appearance.”
The History of Black Womanhood
The suppression of femininity in black women mainly has its roots in racism, colorism and sexism. The societal circumstances that many black women live in forces them to take on roles out of survival, not choice. Many black women have been conditioned to perceive femininity has weakness so, as a way of protecting themselves, they suppress it. Instead of expressing their femininity, many black women have internalized the stereotypes that society projects on them. An example of this is the “strong, independent black woman” stereotype. This stereotype places pressure on the shoulders of black women to help everyone else while receiving little in return because of the idea that we’re strong enough to handle things on our own. This toxic concept of pseudo-strength forces black women to further suppress their true emotions and feelings. When the accumulation of suppressed emotion is finally expressed, we get labeled another stereotype—the “loud, angry black woman”.
In some cases, the suppression of black femininity is even passed down generationally as black mothers can sometimes suppress their black daughters’ femininity. Many black girls, myself included, weren’t allowed to express their femininity during their childhood and adolescence.
Release the weight of this old paradigm.
Allow yourself to be feminine. Let go of the “strong, independent black woman” archetype. You are not obligated to carry this weight on your back. Your identity is not being a bag lady. It is not possible to develop your femininity when you’re dragging around stagnant weight. Let it go and build boundaries. Let go of your super-hero complex. Let go of the “obligation” to “save” other people. Set healthy boundaries and focus on yourself. Take care of yourself. Work on yourself. Care about yourself. Know your worth. Be so fully grounded in your self-worth that nothing and no one can take you out of your element. Give yourself the love, attention and care you’ve continuously extended to others. Be self full and fill your own cup. Commit to loving yourself and raise your standards.
Abundance Mindset vs. Scarcity Mindset
An abundance mindset is a mindset of confidence. Thinking abundantly means that you know you have enough and you will always receive. A scarcity mindset, however, is a mindset of lack. Thinking scarcely means that you feel you don’t have enough and you won’t receive. One mode of thinking is based on security and the other mode of thinking is based on insecurity. Society has conditioned us, as black women, to think with scarcity and accept less. To reclaim our femininity, we must cultivate an abundance mindset.
Thinking abundantly means allowing ourselves to be open and receptive. Receptivity is an aspect of femininity. We must eradicate the “strong, independent black woman” mentality (scarcity mindset) and replace it with a receptivity mentality (abundance mindset). To be open, heal the source of what’s suppressing your femininity. To be receptive, practice accepting compliments, gifts and help with grace. Allow yourself to receive. Believe that you’re worthy of living a life filled with love, peace, respect, opportunity and stability.
The Role of The Media
Brands use the media to culturally appropriate and they often profit from it.
Black outrage is a marketing tactic that brands use to get more views, clicks and exposure. Aspects of black girlhood & womanhood (such as hairstyles, bodily features and style) get picked apart and repackaged by brands under the guise of cultural appropriation which creates attention. Brands thrive off of any social media attention because its essentially free marketing.
Your attention is an investment. Attention is an important thing because it can condition your mentality. What you see and hear repeatedly eventually become a belief. Your beliefs will motivate the majority of your decisions and ultimately the way you carry yourself in life.
Regulate Your Attention. Ignore anything that may cloud your perception of yourself. Instead, surround yourself with positive images and examples of black womanhood. Block and ignore anyone or anything that tries to suppress your femininity. Clean up your social media of anything that hinders you. Replace it with content that uplifts, motivates and nourishes you. Fill your space and surroundings with what you want to see more of.
A 25 year old Kenyan man invented smart gloves that can convert sign language movements into speech. – WTF Fun Facts Source: https://www.wearable-technologies.com/2019/06/kenyan-invents-smart-gloves-that-turn-sign-language-gestures-into-audio-speech/
images from Black Cowboys by Andrea Robbins & Max Becher
Living Single Did it First
I’ve been telling people for a long time that Friends (1994-2004) copied Living Single (1993-1998)
1. Living Single is about 6 friends living life in New York.
Kadijah (Magazine owner)
Regine (Works at a boutique)
Synclaire (Secratary to Kadijah/aspiring actress)
Maxine Shaw Attorney at Law
Kyle (Stock broker)
Overton (Building Handyman)
2. Kyle and Overton are roommates (Joey & Chandler)
3. Kadijah and Regine are childhood friends who are roomates (Monica & Rachel) living in the same building as Kyle and Overton.
4. Max lives across the street (Ross)
5. Synclaire is sweet, but ditzy (Pheobe)
6. Kyle is a ladies man (Joey)
7. Synclaire and Overton begin openly dating (Ross & Rachel)
8. Max and Kyle begin secretly dating (Monica and Chandler)
9. Overton knew about Max and Kyle the entire time and tried to keep it secret (Joey)
10. The secret gets exposed and Max and Kyle are now openly dating (Monica & Chandler)
11. All six friends always hung out in the ladies apartment. (All six friends always hung out in Monica and Rachel’s apartment when they weren’t in the cafe.)
12. Synclaire and Overton get married (Monica & Chandler)
13. Max and Kyle break up (Ross & Rachel)
14. Max finds out she’s pregnant by Kyle (Ross & Rachel) Also, a couple of years later Max and Kyle make an appearence on the show Half & Half as their living Single characters with their daughter! (Emma)
15. Max and Kyle get back together in the series finale in 1998 (Ross & Rachel)
I may sound crazy, but all of this can’t be a coincidence.
Older women are gems when it comes to relationship advice, especially when it comes to choosing the right men. I recently had a long conversation with an 84 year old woman and then she began to tell me the same relationship advice I hear almost every older woman say my whole life. Her advice can be applied to vanilla and sugar dating:
If a man doesn’t give anything to you in the beginning, he won’t give it to you later.
If you and your husband have to split all the bills, he’s not your husband he’s your roommate.
If a man is stingy with spending his money on you, just tell him, “I got what you want and you got what I want. It can’t work out if we can’t get what we want from each other.”
If a man likes/wants you, he will let you know right away.
Action speaks louder than words. Pay more attention to what they do and act towards you than focusing on their words and “promises”.
If you’re with a man in the beginning stages of the relationship and he’s more focused on looking or talking about other women, drop him.
A real man will protect you, look after you, and give you what you need/want.
If you ask a man for money and he says something like, “Don’t you have a job”, don’t do shit for him (especially sex) or drop him because he’s not that into you.
Anybody can be good in bed, if that’s all a man has to offer or that’s his only “redeeming” quality, drop him. You can’t spend all your time in the bedroom.
Good, generous men all have city jobs.
Men in the military are the biggest cheaters.
Women should never chase a man.
A man that is serious and genuinely likes you will always be consistent and not play games (example: not go days without talking to you, you’re not always the one initiating the phone calls/texts, will never drastically change his demeanor, etc.)
How many slaves came to the U.S. - WTF fun fact
I’m getting really annoyed of people attacking idols for their hairstyles. Braids/canerows/locks are not considered sacred among 90% of the black people you know who wear them. We wear them for fashion/protective styling. We don’t have to earn the right to wear braids, so why should anyone else? The real issue lies in others thinking less of us when we do wear the hairstyles our people developed. Or others blatantly copying our culture then turning around and disrespecting our people.
What I do hate is when they indulge in hip hop culture only to turn around & be ignorant/racist. But the real problem is racism/colourism, not the fact that perfectly respectful people are enjoying aspects of another culture.
As I said it’s different if the practices are sacred, but 9/10 black people don’t fucking consider canerows/braids/locks sacred
The term “Cultural appropriation” is slapped on every fucking thing these days, people just want to seem educated and woke so they go around judging others & starting arguments. The people y’all should be attacking are the racist and ignoramuses. NOT the ones who enjoy and appreciate our hairstyles.
✍🏾✍🏾✍🏾
Moulay Hassan, Crown Prince of Morocco hates it when you try to kiss his hand.
Thas the fastest snatch ever
Me avoiding negativity in 2019
It’s part of tradition to pull your hand away as a sign of humility sheesh
I’m all about black girls not feeling like they’re too masculine. I’m all about black girls not having neuroses that their noses are too big. I’m ALL about black girls LOVING THE FUCK out of their hair. I’m about black girls embracing the subtle tones, shades and hues of their skin. I’m all about black girls not feeling too big for *Western* fashion. We have been socialised to self-hate and self-deprecate. Unlearn these patterns.
I’m all about us remembering who we are.
I love you,
sugarbabyrudeness x
