bombsiteboy

in all our decadence people die

[ugly-bread]

Anxiety attacks aren’t always hyperventilating and rocking back and forth

Anxiety attacks can take different forms, such as:

Unpredictable bouts of rage or irritability

Nit-pickiness (obsessive behavior, which may be a part of OCD), and even a hypersensitivity to disarray, chaos, or any sort of change

Fast-talking, stuttering, stumbling over words

Not talking at all

Sitting rigid, staring into space, almost seeming “zoned out”

Understanding the way our or other’s anxiety works can help to decrease the stigma and help to calm a person faster and get them out of that state. These are just a few, but it gives an idea of the range in which attacks can come.

[coloursteelsexappeal]

Lili Lakick, 1983

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[untrustyou]

Jacob Robinson

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beautiful

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hey tumblr how’s it goin, it’s me, scarlett b im currently living in paris and helping out in a nursery school with an adorable class of 2 year olds. how cool is that! im starting university in september to become a teacher! and i recently spent an amazing two months teaching and living in a buddhist monastery in nepal. it was as amazing and crazy and life changing as it sounds. so things are going well. im lying in my lil room in batignolles that i rented with money i worked hard for and im feeling pretty reflective about life. ive vented a lot on here and yall have seen me at my lowest. my bpd symptoms and panic attacks are rearing their ugly heads few and far between nowadays but every time they hit it’s as bad as rock bottom, which sucks. i almost feel lost without self harm and suicide as a constant in my life. but my plan is to find a proper therapist when i start university and get to the bottom of Why I Am So Fucked Up. so that’s going to be good. my crazy ass emotions have been the cause of terrible things but i don't think i would be carousing around paris reading fine literature and visiting art museums without it. i wouldn’t have travelled halfway round the world alone without it. i wouldn’t be so passionate about education and becoming a teacher without it. i wouldn’t have learnt to rely on myself like i do. i guess this is inspired by the whole bpd awareness month thing but honestly im just bored in bed so if anyone has read this, hello and thank you and i hope you have a wonderful day and relish the fact you are a physical, or maybe not physical human being who exists on some plane even if it’s just personal. isn’t that wonderful? and that’s not even going into art or nature or small things like an ugly smile or a tasty breakfast. if no one has read this then it makes no difference. we are all simultaneously dust in the wind and universes. this is absolute teenager-discovering-philosophy bullshit and i love it. wowee

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really scared that the suicidal thoughts have come back for no apparent reason when everything in my life is supposedly good why does suicide feel like such a healthy and natural thought why can I not stop thinking about the massive stack of pills I have in my room why do I suddenly have no one in my life I can talk to about anything like this ??? literally no support?!! no doctors parents friends I can talk to about it?????? why do I want to kill myself ?????? why is my mind suddenly so twisted up again I'm scared

[ufansius]

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Dew Drops on Peony - Hanne Lore Koehler

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[w8ing-deactivated20120519]

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Look @ Me

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[fabioafterdark]

The Supremes - Where Did Our Love Go?

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just an update on my life

i have an interview in January at winchester uni I’m going alone to paris for a week to work in a bilingual kindergarten I’ve booked my flights to nepal….. been accepted on2 a programme to teach English in a Buddhist monastery in this time all paid for/organised by me bc I am a Responsible Adult who has their shit together w the help of the wonderful drug citalopram also I’m kinda cute

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look at this reference my old tutor sent to the Parisian bilingual school I'm visiting in January it is so lovely i can't believe someone has said such nice things about me wtf ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️ Scarlett is a hard working, thoughtful and intelligent student who will become an excellent and inspirational teacher. It is typical of Scarlett's character that she is arranging such a variety of experiences this year. I have no doubt that she will make a very positive contribution at your school if she is able to work with you this year. Scarlett has studied Art, Maths, English Literature and Philosophy to the highest level available to her. She is very quick to pick up new ideas in her studies, to try out new methods and ask pertinent questions to check her own understanding. Scarlett is an impressive student whose commitment to her own learning is matched by a clear passion for the learning of others, this combined with her impressive breadth of academic ability means that we are delighted that she has chosen to become a teacher. We feel that her thoughtful, considered approach to academic study would rewards in any relevant higher education programme. Again, we are absolutely delighted with Scarlett’s decision to train as a teacher. She has passion and ability in equally impressive measure, we cannot recommend her highly enough.

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i just got an email copy of my old tutors reference that he's sent to the school ok visiting in Paris and it's made me so emotional I can't believe it and now rly confused bc I was feeling weird about missing hurting myself/sabotaging myself/ the fact I've put on WEIGHT so now I'm a mix of proud of and disgusted @ myself

[strawbrris]

I would go out tonight but I haven’t got a stitch to wear…. or any friends or anywhere to go

[tokyo-fashion]

Japanese video director Toshitaka wearing a customized punk-meets-Akihabara leather biker jacket and pink Dr. Martens on the street in Harajuku. Full Look

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at least I am an enigma to everyone who doesn't know my tumblr