FRIENDS SENTENCE STARTERS
❛ I wish I could but I don’t want to. ❜
❛ He may not be my soulmate but a girl’s gotta eat. ❜
❛ I have to go before I put your head through a wall. ❜
❛ I’m not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? ❜
❛ I’m hopeless and awkward and desperate for love! ❜
❛ I think I’m having a stroke. ❜
❛ Is she aware of our…special situation? ❜
❛ I say more dumb things before 9am than most people say all day. ❜
❛ I just realized I can sleep with my eyes open. ❜
❛ I’m curvy and I like it! ❜
❛ Is it obvious I’m wearing six sweaters? ❜
❛ Welcome to the real world, it sucks! ❜
❛ Okay, I know it was a cheap shot but I feel so much better now. ❜
❛ Could she BE anymore out of my league? ❜
❛ You ordered pizza without me? ❜
❛ Go tell him he’s cute. What’s the worst thing that could happen? ❜
❛ Shut up! You’re not my real mom! ❜
❛ Hell is full of people like you. ❜
❛ Okay, I’m not getting this. ❜
❛ Why don’t you be a grown up and come watch TV in the fort. ❜
❛ I hope it’s still funny when you’re in hell! ❜
❛ I just wanna go over there and kiss him. ❜
❛ How can I kiss him without letting him know that I like him? ❜
❛ Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. ❜
❛ If I had to I’d pee on any one of you. ❜
❛ Everybody looks so happy, I hate that. ❜
❛ If we were in prison you guys would be like my bitches. ❜
❛ My life is an embarrassment. I should just go live under somebody’s stairs. ❜
❛ In junior high this girl said a lot of mean stuff about me and I set her bike on fire. ❜
❛ __ ate my last stick of gum so I killed him/her/them. ❜
❛ Can you see my nipples through this shirt? ❜
❛ You’re not gonna try to make me join a cult are you? ❜
❛ Remember, a moment on the lips forever on the hips. ❜
❛ My wallet is too small for my fifties. ❜
❛ Don’t you think you’ve had enough to drink? ❜
❛ You don’t have a TV? What’s all your furniture pointed to? ❜
❛ Oh, I’m gonna have to write that down on my hand. ❜
❛ I guess things were just going too well for me. ❜
❛ No uterus, No opinion. ❜
❛ There’s more alcohol right? ❜
❛ Well aren’t we Mr/Ms the glass is half empty. ❜
❛ I am so excited, I may vomit. ❜
❛ Isn’t that just kick you in the crotch, spit on your neck fantastic? ❜
❛ Oh, I’m sorry did my back hurt your knife? ❜