Wanting Is Different Than Needing not pro Just Me

UGW-110 GW-120 SW-175 CW-144.7 5’5 LW- 84 ibs ED: Diabulimia 21 yrs and T1D

[boney-coffee-cat]

I did it after 3 years not being able to go below 150 and highest weight of 180 last year... im 144.7 pounds. I did it. Still work in progress but im happy.

[boney-coffee-cat]

I think I just had a three year long binge.

And not recovery.

[skinnyspamssss]

Lets be honest we all took a break off tumblr for a couple months because we were having a long binge episode and called it failed ✨recovery✨

[monster-and-coffee]

YALL EVER TAKE A BODY CHECK PIC AND THEN LOOK AT IT AND PHYSICALLY THROW UP IN UR MOUTH A LITTLE 🤣🔥💯 because same.

[boney-coffee-cat]

Oof this hits a bit too hard lol

[boney-coffee-cat]

I need control i need control i need control i need control i need control i need control i need control i need controll i need it i need control i need control i need control i need control i need control i need control i need control i need control i need control i need control i need control i need control i need control i need control i need control i need control i need control i need control i need control i need control i need control i need control i need control i need it i need it i need it give me control i want it i need it let it incase me. . .

I NEED CONTROL! ! !

[small-enough-to-float]

when my food tracking app sends me a notification right after a binge like it doesn’t know what the fuck i’m up to-

[boney-coffee-cat]

Hmm i wonder what app i used lol

[boney-coffee-cat]

I love potatos

But. . .

FUCK POTATOS

[boney-coffee-cat]

I feel a lot better to come back cuz i lost 8 pounds baby! Its still something even though im not where i want to be at.

Ive started using an app that helps me calorie count and sync up with my fitbit. Its so so flippin easy to count and track my calories. Also , since using the app i have lost that weight. I feel good but im still at the beginning (again lol).

Im using this app as an oulet and to expel my dark thoughts on my ED. Please i never want anyone to follow what i do. (I will awnser any questions tho cuz i dont wanna just leave ya hangin lol) If you do , please stay safe.

[boney-coffee-cat]

hi! just wondering, do you restrict your insulin use to loose weight?

Yes , i do. Resently ive stopped doing it AS MUCH (still do it occasionally when i dont eat) cuz with also restricting insulin comes with having to correct. That ends up being more insulin used in the first place so its better to watch what you eat than having to take more insulin. (Insulin especially the synthetic are found to be paired with weight gain). I wouldnt wish anyone to go down that route.

[depressouls-blog]

Don’t any of u guys give up. Still not at my UGW (115) but I went from 160lbs to 130lbs right here.

I just upgraded EVerywhere tho lmao I can’t stop laughing.

[boney-coffee-cat]

Quick checkup

I gained 18 pounds during quarantine. . .

Im trying not to let my emotions guide me

I started working again a week ago and lost around 4 pounds

I am probably not going to be on here till i can get back to 150 pounds. For mental reasons

I appreciate all of you. . . Stay safe.

[boney-coffee-cat]

Ah shit, now i feel so regretful right now ugh no water , coffee and chinese food for like two days (frozen) um ... ive also have fast food. Yeah i already know, pretty fucking bad ugh. It fine ill just cut down for a bit. I do have to go back to work the 30th i really dont want to go back looking like this. Hopefully itll give me enough motivation.

[boney-coffee-cat]

I had chicken nugs, fries, sugar free coffee and lotsa water today. Im getting better at kinda leveling myself out for now. Ill be better tomorrow i hope.

[boney-coffee-cat]

I had a gallon of water yesterday but did have a lot of food. . . Today trying to get water down but had some begal bites. . .i think thats all im gonna eat today hopefully. Oh but, ive also started the chloe ting shred ab 4 week workout thingy so thatll help i hope.

[boney-coffee-cat]

Oh god... ugh im back again? Ive kinda just ignored social media 2020 because its shit haha, but now i just got a spurt of wanting to take accountability of myself. Im back at 165 ish and im beating myself down. i just want to throw up. yet i cant stop eating. so, ill be posting as much as possible to keep my head in the game. I cant be gorging/binging anymore im sick of it. Im Done. I want to stop hating my body. I want to go back. . .

[boney-coffee-cat]

Ive been quarantined for a while yet not on socials a lot... which is weird for me.

I havent gained nor lost yet i feel defeated.

Im drowning myself in renos or diys.

Im stressed

But i shouldnt be.

[boney-coffee-cat]

I have to say the worst thing hate about myself is my fucking fat arms ... like wth.... they just squish when they lay flat. I dont dare wear a tshirt because of it.