“Tonight you’re going to cry for me…”
In the semi darkness of our room, curled up facing you in our bed, those words vibrate through my mind and echo in my veins, suspending a single beat of this heart. Before I can exhale the breath now caught in my throat, your strong hands grasp my waist, knowing with new certainty these limbs will cede your right.
Pulling me onto you, those eyes drink me in with an intensity normally reserved for lovers who’ve been apart, uncertain their eyes would ever meet again. Cupping the back of my head protectively, fiercely even, your other hand traces my face in the dim light like you’re in a dream.
“You are going to let it all go, now, all the pain, the struggle, the fear, the past, the hurts we’ve done each other, the things you’re not proud of. You are going to free it until your crying tears for this moment, for now. For all we have now. For this. You are going to give me those tears. Do you understand?”
I nod, apprehensive, unsure they will actually come. I don’t want to mingle tears with this, this precious moment of us. Your eyes never leave mine, as you begin. You know what I’m thinking behind the shadows in my own. Your love possesses me with those eyes that now see so, so much. I would give you anything, anything at all when you look at me, seeing into my soul and reflecting back nothing but pleasure, strength, safety and love.
So for you, I cry, as I cry out, you pull me down to you and cover me in kisses, freeing more tears. Your hands travel over me with certainty and joy in your possession of all of me, as you fill my senses and body with all of you. My God! To be truly seen and still treasured, and desired held precious in this way.
I’m sobbing for you now as you gently roll me over and cover me with your presence. As you begin your reclaiming.
“ This Is mine. I love all of it.” You say, with a finger on my forehead to indicate my mind. “This is mine and I finally understand that,” as you place your hand over my breast where my heart lies. ”I know it completely.” Your touch is rougher now. “This is MINE.“ Reaching between us to indicate the distinct claim you are laying right then. “ All. Of. This. Is. Mine.” You say with finality as you claim my next eagerly released kiss.
Now, I am not beautiful in the wracking sobs pouring from my body. Tears mixing with mucus, as I choke on my tears. Holding myself up to bury my face in your neck, I can barely breathe as I cling to you and release every old uncertainty, every piece of baggage, trusting you to be able to take it now, and trusting me to be able to let it go.
Your assure me of your want, need , desire and love of me, even at my worst, with every thrust of your hips, grip of your fingers, and touch of your lips. Your whisper in my ear things I didn’t even know I needed to hear. I feel the new beginning in our shared release, and the floodgates pour until we’re washed clean.
To think, I had doubt I would do exactly what you said….
”Tonight you are going to cry for me.”
I have always been yours, I began the day I met you. I will always be yours, we just have a better understanding of what that means now. There are not words for what you are to me now, for what I see in your eyes. Thank you from the depths of my being, for making me yours.
D/s is simply not all about whips and chains. It can be freedom, depth, amazing communication, and closeness on a level not attained in many other ways. What we had was a love story, what we have attained is of legendary proportions.
