todayās date is the 3rd? whatās next, the 4th? the 5th? the minor fall, the major lift?Ā
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Three Goblin Art
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@boogara4lyfe
todayās date is the 3rd? whatās next, the 4th? the 5th? the minor fall, the major lift?Ā
having pussy is gender neutral. having cock is gender neutral. having tits is gender neutral. using 3 in one body wash, shampoo and conditioner is for men though
New outfit idea
Yours is the only funny and correct addition to this post
Ā Guys, I heard children outside in the backyard of my school, and iām on the fifth floor, but right above the playground, so I threw a paper airplane with a little message on it to them, and then they got excited so I threw another one, and then I threw another, and then another, and then they started making requests likeĀ ātell us a storyā and I wrote a little thing about me throwing airplanes out the window orĀ ādraw us a picture of yourselfā and i drew a picture that didnāt look too great but they thought it was fun and theyād expectantly wait and Iād throw another and theyād be screaming and chasing it and trying to figure out who i am and stuff and after twenty minutes, and, like, forty airplanes i sent one that saidĀ ādo you wanna see meā and they were excited and started chanting so i threw one that saidĀ ācountdownā and they counted down from ten and then i actually poked my head out the window because they still hadnāt seen me yet and i had a handful of, like, twenty paper airplanes with me and i threw them all one at a time as they tried to catch them like a giant ticket blaster at chuckie cheese, and the look of pure delight and joy on those kidsā faces was worth all that time and paper.
This is still my biggest accomplishment and the greatest moment of my life.
men love when you call them handsome they twirlt their hair and are like omg really teehee and blush. in an aloof manner
this is what he looked like btw
Hey I heard youāre giving out anxiety, can I have 1 anxiety please?
yes, here is a baby oarfishĀ
thatās a BABY?
boy howdy are you in for a treat! introducing, the Oarfish!
MA! THEREāS A WEIRD FUCKING FISH!
Not much is known about Oarfish. Their maximum length is debatable, though there are reports of specimen up to 56 ft long. They live at great depths, and are rarely observed alive. Hereās a relatively small one:
Slightly larger one:
aaaaand, little bigger:
Yeah. these children get long.Ā hold on a moā, i might have a better photo
yeah. there we go. a few hundred lbs of Oarfish. like i said, length-variable. that oneās only about 28 feet though. so like, imagine that but double.Ā
look how excited everyone is. well, everyone but the fish. oh, fun fact! they can self-amputate up to 3/4th of their body. lizard style.Ā
Historically, Oarfish have been described as sea serpents, and are probably responsible for a fair portion of myths. In Japanese folklore, their appearance portends earthquakes. Though rarely seen, Oarfish live in every ocean. All around the world. Everywhere. No matter what coastline youāre on, theyāre always there. Just a few thousand feet below water. Waiting.
Watching.
JESUS THAT WAS MORE THAN 1 ANXIETY
I AM A WHOLESALE PROVIDER
@biggest-gaudiest-patronuses Gaud how can you talk about oarfish without mentioning that they swim vertically
They go forward with their bodies like this, not like a snake. Just an aggressive pogo stick of fish
the epilogue this post deserved!!!
honestly if teleporters ever got invented during my lifetime i would be the most annoying analog boomer about it. my grandkids would be like ugh, grandma, why donāt you just take a teleporter trip to come visit us, we all do it all the time and itās obviously safe and i would be like absolutely not. it kills you and reconstitutes a copy with your exact memories. you are consciously my grandchildren and i do not hold it against you but i know in my heart that you are nothing but copies of copies of copies borne out of irresponsible technology use. i am not touching that devilās elevator as long as i live. i will take an airplane and you will wait for the several hours it takes for me to come visit you
Thereās this girl at my school and sheās really nice and I remember sometime last year at one point she would carry a clicker around and click it everytime she had a happy thought/something good happened/she laughed etc. It was always kind of cute how youād just hear the little click every once in a while throughout class it always made me smile knowing that it was bc something made her feel happy idk
she was training herself to be happy oh my god
does it work???? Imagine feeling yourself slipping into depression and you just click a few times and your brain says āwait, this is the sound of happiness I have to release serotoninā
She fucking Pavlovād herself, the absolute madwoman
āyouād just hear the little click every once in a while throughout class it always made me smileā
she didnāt just Pavlov herself
Me entering any museum: man Iām so excited to learn all the things
Also me: GIFT SHOP GIFT SHOP GIFT SHOP
There are two dragons inside of you. One hoards knowledge and the other hoards trinkets. Theyāre both very excited when you bring them to a museum
twitter: h-how could will smith slap chris rock like that?? that's physical assualt!! what kind of message is this sending?? he could've killed him š„š«š
tumblr with it's list of which comedians should be slapped next:
no phone i did notĀ āmiss a callā i watched it ring the whole time
source
guys I am trying this new thing called drinking water throughout the day and itās amazing?
you rn
my body is naught but a waystation for water š
"Human beings were invented by water as a device for transporting itself from one place to another."
--Tom Robbins, Another Roadside Attraction
incorporating that into my belief system
Iām sorry officer, the water told me it wanted to be transported to Ronald Reaganās grave
and who am I to deny water its holy pilgrimage