no one mourns the wicked

23 / bi / didn't intend on becoming a super gay angry feminist but look where we are now

[lizardsister]

today’s date is the 3rd? what’s next, the 4th? the 5th? the minor fall, the major lift? 

[unclefather]

having pussy is gender neutral. having cock is gender neutral. having tits is gender neutral. using 3 in one body wash, shampoo and conditioner is for men though

[mellifexfarm]

[mellifexfarm]

[monsterlogic]

New outfit idea

[lightningman17]

[sugoichappy]

Yours is the only funny and correct addition to this post

[pie-bean]

[jelastronaut]

[kazoosandfannypacks]

 Guys, I heard children outside in the backyard of my school, and i’m on the fifth floor, but right above the playground, so I threw a paper airplane with a little message on it to them, and then they got excited so I threw another one, and then I threw another, and then another, and then they started making requests like “tell us a story” and I wrote a little thing about me throwing airplanes out the window or “draw us a picture of yourself” and i drew a picture that didn’t look too great but they thought it was fun and they’d expectantly wait and I’d throw another and they’d be screaming and chasing it and trying to figure out who i am and stuff and after twenty minutes, and, like, forty airplanes i sent one that said “do you wanna see me” and they were excited and started chanting so i threw one that said “countdown” and they counted down from ten and then i actually poked my head out the window because they still hadn’t seen me yet and i had a handful of, like, twenty paper airplanes with me and i threw them all one at a time as they tried to catch them like a giant ticket blaster at chuckie cheese, and the look of pure delight and joy on those kids’ faces was worth all that time and paper.

[kazoosandfannypacks]

This is still my biggest accomplishment and the greatest moment of my life.

[mariautistic]

men love when you call them handsome they twirlt their hair and are like omg really teehee and blush. in an aloof manner

[dogdayafternoon1975-deactivated]

[dogdayafternoon1975-deactivated]

[sunflowermp4]

this is what he looked like btw

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Hey I heard you’re giving out anxiety, can I have 1 anxiety please?

yes, here is a baby oarfish 

[imaramennoodle]

that’s a BABY?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

boy howdy are you in for a treat! introducing, the Oarfish!

MA! THERE’S A WEIRD FUCKING FISH!

Not much is known about Oarfish. Their maximum length is debatable, though there are reports of specimen up to 56 ft long. They live at great depths, and are rarely observed alive. Here’s a relatively small one:

Slightly larger one:

aaaaand, little bigger:

Yeah. these children get long.  hold on a mo’, i might have a better photo

yeah. there we go. a few hundred lbs of Oarfish. like i said, length-variable. that one’s only about 28 feet though. so like, imagine that but double. 

look how excited everyone is. well, everyone but the fish. oh, fun fact! they can self-amputate up to 3/4th of their body. lizard style. 

Historically, Oarfish have been described as sea serpents, and are probably responsible for a fair portion of myths. In Japanese folklore, their appearance portends earthquakes. Though rarely seen, Oarfish live in every ocean. All around the world. Everywhere. No matter what coastline you’re on, they’re always there. Just a few thousand feet below water. Waiting.

Watching.

[flowerbleedme]

JESUS THAT WAS MORE THAN 1 ANXIETY

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I AM A WHOLESALE PROVIDER

[definitelynotaminion]

@biggest-gaudiest-patronuses Gaud how can you talk about oarfish without mentioning that they swim vertically

They go forward with their bodies like this, not like a snake. Just an aggressive pogo stick of fish

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the epilogue this post deserved!!!

[dingdongyouarewrong]

honestly if teleporters ever got invented during my lifetime i would be the most annoying analog boomer about it. my grandkids would be like ugh, grandma, why don’t you just take a teleporter trip to come visit us, we all do it all the time and it’s obviously safe and i would be like absolutely not. it kills you and reconstitutes a copy with your exact memories. you are consciously my grandchildren and i do not hold it against you but i know in my heart that you are nothing but copies of copies of copies borne out of irresponsible technology use. i am not touching that devil’s elevator as long as i live. i will take an airplane and you will wait for the several hours it takes for me to come visit you

[toastbutteregg]

[smushee]

There’s this girl at my school and she’s really nice and I remember sometime last year at one point she would carry a clicker around and click it everytime she had a happy thought/something good happened/she laughed etc. It was always kind of cute how you’d just hear the little click every once in a while throughout class it always made me smile knowing that it was bc something made her feel happy idk

[blackwoolncrown]

she was training herself to be happy oh my god

[aureliaborealis]

does it work???? Imagine feeling yourself slipping into depression and you just click a few times and your brain says “wait, this is the sound of happiness I have to release serotonin”

[thebigblackwolfe]

She fucking Pavlov’d herself, the absolute madwoman

[salmon404]

“you’d just hear the little click every once in a while throughout class it always made me smile”

she didn’t just Pavlov herself

[ladyhistory]

Me entering any museum: man I’m so excited to learn all the things

Also me: GIFT SHOP GIFT SHOP GIFT SHOP

[wandering-elf]

There are two dragons inside of you. One hoards knowledge and the other hoards trinkets. They’re both very excited when you bring them to a museum

[little-miss-rasputin-pageant]

twitter: h-how could will smith slap chris rock like that?? that's physical assualt!! what kind of message is this sending?? he could've killed him 😥😫😠

tumblr with it's list of which comedians should be slapped next:

[sagihairius]

no phone i did not “miss a call” i watched it ring the whole time

[whitepeopletwitter]

[rob-pattinson]

source

[3-oclock-tea]

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

guys I am trying this new thing called drinking water throughout the day and it’s amazing?

[lichen-soup-scribe]

you rn

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

my body is naught but a waystation for water 😔

[v-lagopus]

"Human beings were invented by water as a device for transporting itself from one place to another."

--Tom Robbins, Another Roadside Attraction

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

incorporating that into my belief system

[loserforever]

I’m sorry officer, the water told me it wanted to be transported to Ronald Reagan’s grave

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

and who am I to deny water its holy pilgrimage