Book Barf

I read so much but I’m always scared to write reviews on GoodReads 😅

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I’m 10% into Slewfoot and can someone please tell me if every one in that fucking town gets their comeuppance? My blood is boiling and I think I’m not made for reading historical witch lit 😅

I really like the writing style and I’m interested but I’ll be raging if those people don’t get physically and spiritually stocked and quartered.

Spoiler for the witch movie

I’ll take that kind of ending even - like give me the illusion of choice but really she never had a choice but at least she’s happy and gets to dance with titties flapping in the rain.

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I just finished never say never - book 4 of the Vitale brother series and daaaaaannng that was nuts.

I’ve tried to read mafia romance books before but none grabbed my attention until this series. Let me be clear - these are books about mafia violence and fucking… sometimes (consensually) both. I’m not strictly into that but honestly these books were fun. I was cheering as everything came to a head in book 4 and genuinely enjoyed the dynamic between the brothers and their partners.

It helps that I’m not an “insert myself into the story” kind of reader and more a “I’ll sit in the cuck chair while you psychos find other psychos to love” kinda reader.

4/5 Silvy Hammers

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Your pucking mom… I should have stopped at the insta love and the blue/brown orbs… 🤦🏻‍♀️ AND it’s self insert in a way that is so noticeable I’m drowning in second hand embarrassment.

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That last 15 minutes of heated rivalry cracked me up. But I absolutely lost it at Shane saying “no, Ilya, ᵀʰᵃᵗˢ ᵍʳᵒˢˢ” to Ilya calling them lovers 😂

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Strawberry fields for never…

It started so good and then half way through the author seemed to skip over the actual falling in love bit and the fmc just says “we got to know each other better over two months and our banter became flirtatious” or something to that effect…. Like damn, I wanted to read that not just be told “And we fell in love offscreen and we have super cute and hot banter” without any real examples of it.

Not to mention that there’s so much talk about the farm that could be cut down to actually give the characters more chemistry.

ALSO - this book was on a list of enemies to lovers??? They’re fucking gagging for each other from the outset and even when they’re on opposite sides of an argument they’re still lusting over each other… ???

I know I’m probably in the minority here considering how high the ratings are on this one but I was genuinely excited to read the series. I still want to read the Millie and duke one but can someone tell me if they have actual chemistry or if it’s “we fell in love offscreen”? or worse - “we fell in love through proximity because we both love my daughter”.

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Clown in a cornfield.

Due to the hype and now the movie, I was expecting more but still found it a short, fun, gorey romp…like, it’s fine. Extra point because real life bigots are mad that the bigots in the book are the bad guys 😂

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The pines by Blake crouch

I’m 50% into pines by Blake crouch and I’m so pissed off because -

a) Ethan is annoying as hell and egotistical and has a really gross way of talking about every woman he has come across

B) it’s been page upon page of questions and little to no answers

C) and this is a credit to the writing - the infuriating way that the sheriff acts and talks where I hope something bad DOES happen to him

D) Theresa thinking that she would still stay with Ethan even if he cheated on her AGAIN was gross.

I will read on because I’m hoping for answers - like is it scientific? magic? Is he delusional? Because this is Blake crouch I’m guessing a mixture of the first and last.

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Christ on a cracker - when are we getting a movie for Kings of the Wyld because GADDAMN.

There are so many characters in this story and I loved every single one of them.

I’ve seen mixed reviews for Bloody Rose but damn, I’m gonna have to read it now.

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Just finished Do your worst by Rosie Danan and it was not for me. I wish books had tags like fanfic instead of finding out halfway through that it’s Insta love with light bdsm kink.

If I’d known that I wouldn’t have picked it up, yknow? Not judging people who do like it but we read what we enjoy and I was not the target audience for this book. I didn’t leave a review anywhere for it because I’ve always thought it unfair to rate a book that I wasn’t the target for but meh.

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It’s genuinely funny that Stephen King doesn’t realise he’s a naturally skilled writer and that not everybody can go from idea to first draft without plotting.

I’ve been listening to his ‘On Writing’ book while I vector and all I could think of at the end was this quote from Better Off Dead.

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Going from Jurassic park to the andromeda strain expecting the same amount of excitement because they were both written by Michael Crichton, was in hindsight a bad choice.

If you’re into pages and pages of government prose protocol writing then the andromeda strain might be for you! It’s still a good read but yeah… the movie’s good.

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Reading Kings of the Wyld be like

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Please take this rant with a grain of salt, I’m of the mind that if I don’t like a book - chances are that I was never the target audience… but this one in particular was a bummer because on paper it SEEMED like it would be my cup of tea?

Good Mourning, Darling by A Crowley

I really wanted to like this. I devoured the odd blood series by the same author and was so excited for this so maybe I built it up and it just didn’t deliver. (For me)

I think the thing that irked me was that there wasn’t any real chemistry between Ella and Eugene? Like they had a couple of conversations but mostly we were in their heads and it went from her having a childhood crush and him being indifferent and evil and wanting to get her on side for nefarious reasons to them being head over heels obsessed with each other and I just feel there needed to be something there in the middle to make it believable?

I liked Eugene as a character, I liked how everything with him is unravelled slowly and his symbiotic relationship with his shadow (very venom, very fun). The dialogue however was just disjointed at times?

The fmc is a bit of the sexy lamp with a Post it because she’s rarely active in anything that happens to her, we’re in her head a lot so we know she’s thinking about stuff and experiencing everything and struggling mentally but on the outside stuff just happens to her and even when she finally snaps and gets angry, there’s no acknowledgement or consequences?

I think because I knew it was a monster horror I was expecting more of the creativity of the body horror magic system from the odd blood series which is super creative and creepy. I finally finished it today but it took me a while. I don’t know man 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Just finished dungeons and drama and … I think I thought the characters were going to be older but they’re definitely high school. So it’s very…. Teenage drama (literally and figuratively). I found the main character really annoying but believably a teenager. Honestly, it was a wholesome fun read after reading a bunch of life or death stories 😅

The mentioning of everyone’s race despite only two characters being non white was kinda weird….

I probably won’t pick this up again but would for sure recommend to teenagers and early 20 somethings especially if they’re into nerdy shit AND musicals. There’s a TON of references in this one.

Overall eh. It was fine.

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Me having a hurrumph at 1am to my sister because I just remembered the plot of the next couple of vampire academy books at the end of book three

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I’m 20% in to Most Ardently by Gabe Cole Novoa and I’m already grinning like an idiot and kicking my feet.

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Peter Darling by Austin chant was a bit slow at the start for me but I think that had more to do with me never being a huge Peter Pan fan but it was a really sweet book. The second half definitely picks up and the end is wonderful. Short read too.

4/5 of James Hooks chest hairs

(I imagined Jason Isaacs the whole time 👀)