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Book Burns

@bookburns

This is a PG-13 blog where I try to be funny. I love books. But fear intimacy. That is why I mock them, make jokes at their expense and insult them.

1,611 posts

Jun 16, 2022

Only after obtaining the earth’s consent.

#book burns #touch the earth #t c mcluhan #book jokes #book humor #booklr #books

Jun 15, 2022

What’s in the chamber? Secrets? I’ll bet it’s a chamber of secrets.

#book burns #the chamber #john grisham #book jokes #book humor #booklr #books #chamber of secrets #thriller

Jun 14, 2022

The HOA is really pushing for a noise ordinance.

#book burns #the sin shouter of cabin road #john faulkner #book jokes #book humor #booklr #books #pulp novels

Jun 13, 2022

Queen City Jazz, starring Kristen Stewart a Gen X gondolier.

#book burns #queen city jazz #kathleen ann goonan #scifi novel #sci fi novels #science fiction #kristen stewart #gondolier #gen x #book jokes #book humor #booklr #books #bad book covers #weird book covers #fantasy novel

Jun 12, 2022

He’s dead!

Nu’ uh.

#book burns #a deniable death #gerald seymour #thriller #book jokes #book humor #booklr #books

Jun 11, 2022

This poem isn’t about a cat, is it?

#book burns #the feline muse #poetry #little black pussy #double entendre #pussy #book jokes #book humor #booklr #books #poem #cat poetry #cats #black cat #edward t dell jr #a golden quill anthology

Apr 7, 2022

Suddenly I’m not surprised that Chuck Berry used hidden cameras to watch women pee. That is definitely the vibe of this book cover.

#book burns #chuck berry #autobiography #bad book covers #book jokes #book humor #booklr #books #weird book covers #gross

Apr 6, 2022

I bring you another Literary Porn Parody: A Hard Man is Good to Find.

#book burns #flannery o'connor #a good man is hard to find #literary porn parody #a hard man is good to find #dick jokes #book jokes #book humor #booklr #books #classic literature #romance novels #erotica

Mar 27, 2022

Too soon.

#book burns #I Alone Can Fix It #carol leonnig #philip rucker #donald trump #trump #donald j trump #book jokes #book humor #booklr #books #bad book covers #political books #american history #grown baby #apricot goebbles #fascist

Mar 12, 2022

Listen, if you don’t specify Navy SEAL then I will absolutely head-canon that your book is about aquatic animals working on ranch, having romances, and being father figures to adorable children. Sea lion romance is my favorite genre.

#book burns #the seal’s second chance baby #laura marie altom #romance novels #seal #sea lion #head canon #book jokes #book humor #booklr #books #book titles #weird book titles #harlequin #american romance #cowboy seals

Mar 11, 2022

Joe Biden describing his climate change plan.

#book burns #the 1000 year plan #isaac asimov #book jokes #book humor #booklr #books #weird book covers #scifi novel #joe biden #climate change #climate action #green new deal

Mar 11, 2022

What an oddly aggressive children’s book.

#book burns #what are you looking at #story book #childrens books #kids books #book jokes #book humor #booklr #books #book titles

Mar 10, 2022

Come on, buddy. You’re already going by E.E. Do you really need the Doc, too?

#book burns #first lensman #ee doc smith #scifi novel #book jokes #book humor #booklr #books #bad book covers #weird book covers #nicknames

Feb 19, 2022

The novelization of my peen in middle and high school.

#book burns #hard times #charles DICKens #book jokes #book humor #booklr #books #dick jokes #erect penis #erections #teen years #hormones #classic literature

Jan 1, 2022

What if we, like, kissed at midnight? Just as an experiment.

#book burns #the friendship experiment #erin teagan #brandi dougherty #ya books #book jokes #booklr #book humor #books #kissing #new year’s #midnight kiss #experiment

Dec 25, 2021

Wait. Is the Dude also Earth? Are we livin’ on the Dude.

#book burns #earth abides #george r stewart #the big lebowski #the dude abides #book jokes #booklr #books #book humor #pulp novels #mass market paperback #scfi novel #sci fi #ace star books

Sep 26, 2021

My grandparents bought me this car, they only did because my mom and I agreed to have dinner with them every Friday.

#book burns #chilton #honda #gilmore girls #booklr #book jokes #book humor #books #car manual

Book Burns @bookburns - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag