Books with Katz

Book reviews from a true trash connoisseur.

[bookswithkatz]

Ribbed For Her Pleasure by Miranda Martin

Link to book here.

Link to full plot summary here.

Genre: Poor Life Choices

Serious Score: 43/100 - This is a book, there are words in this book that when read in order are understandable as a story. It is not a good one, but if you laugh at bad fanfic, then you can have a giggle with this hot mess; as long as you don't have to pay for it. 

Story - The story is like watching an episode of Teletubies while high as fuck, stuff's happening and you're pretty sure it doesn't make sense, but you're too busy trying to find your left pinky-toe to figure it out.

"Plot" - Alright, I'm about 94% sure that the author will never read this, but Miranda, let me level with you here. RAZOR SHARP CLAWS HAVE NO PLACE INSIDE OF A VAGUBER. STOP. PUTTING. THEM. THERE. PLEASE.

Characters - The leading woman is a professional gaming youtuber and the leading man is a two-dicked dragon man from magic Tatooine- you do the math.

Consistency - This whole book is consistently absurd. It's so separate from the other Celestial Mates book I've read (Not So Little Green Man) that I just don't know if anything else can be called consistent.

Personal Enjoyment (Trash) Score: You may have guessed it by this point, but this book is grade A, free range, all natural, organic trash. This book is a testament to how much you can get away with on the Kindle store, and I loved every minute of reading it. It's stupid as hell and the main character is super cringy for me, but it's short and I didn't have to pay for it. 60 Irresponsible Timetraveling cherubs /100.

Teaser Summary:

*Note: I don't care enough to check there characters's names, so I chose names that are desciptive enough to work. Female Stereotype has a very successful gaming channel on the youtube, and she just got home with her cat from Gamecon (because choosing a normal sounding convention name is for hacks) when she gets tweeted to try the "Celestial Mates Challenge" over twitter. "This should do for a good gag" Ms. Stereotype thinks, and downloads the app. Turns out that the app was real and she just gave her consent to be kidnapped and tossed onto another planet with only a very attractive man-dragon for company. Ribbed Dick is a lonely dragon from the planet of Magic Tatooine, he sees all the other dragon men with their dragon wives and he muses to himself "hey, I should find a lady." And wouldn't you know it, he gets whisked off to who the fuck knows where to spend time with a very available (desperate) woman. Whatever is he to do?

My thoughts:

I honestly don't think you need me to go over my opinions on this again. It's trash, but if you like trash, give it a go.

[bookswithkatz]

Not So Little Green Man by Celia Kyle

Link to book here.

Link to full plot summary here.

Genre: What the fuck IS this?!

Serious Score: 40/100 - It passes on technical level as competent, but wtf. Who thought this was a good idea. Seriously.

Story - There is indeed a story. Things happen, and they make sense, they’re just… really fucking stupid.

“Plot” - The author seems to find sticking razor sharp claws into a woman to be sexy. I disagree. Strenuously.

Characters - The characters operate as convenient vehicles for getting to the part where sex happens. The main character has an attachment to her identity and has plausible problems with people trying to change it. That was pretty okay.

Consistency - I refuse to read it again for this review, but apparently there is a whole shared universe thing with multiple authors, so who knows if anything is consistent.

Personal Enjoyment (Trash) Score: - This book is stupid. Really, really stupid. I feel actively less intelligent for reading it. That said, I really enjoyed the two hours or so I spent reading this hot mess. 58 No-claws-don’t-go-theres /100.

Teaser Summary:

*Note: I don’t care enough to check these characters’ names, so I went with stuff that sounded close enough.

Earthling Mary Sue is running for her life, her destination: off planet via an inter-galactic mail-order-bride service. Steve Irwin is pretty jazzed for the arrival of his bride so he can share the planet he is the unquestioned ruler of, too bad his race has a problem with uncontrollably fucking their spouses so violently a human would be snapped in half. Whatever is the pair to do?

My thoughts:

This book sucks. It’s got a stupid story, characters with no aspects beyond carrying the plot to becoming “plot,” and lot’s of stupid shit about nonsense alien anatomy for no reason other than because the author seems convinced that it’s hot. It was very enjoyable, it also happened to be free. I see no connection between the two factors.

[bookswithkatz]

Karma by R.J. Blain

Link to book here.

Link to full plot summary here.

Genre: Urban Fantasy

Serious Score: 73/100 - It’s got some issues, but the main character really sells it for me, I just wish that Blain wasn’t so hamfisted when it came to sexism in law-enforcement. Also that ending needs fixing.

Story - Much like Pack Justice, this book’s story is a bit free form, with three sub-stories that are contiguous but don’t feel like they can be called one full story when put together.

“Plot” - Apparently the main characters like to use handcuffs. But in all seriousness it’s pretty good when it comes to traversing between scenes and events, it was enjoyable but probably not what I would call well coordinated. But the ending felt suuuuuper rushed.

Characters - I like the leading lady, she’s funny, smart, and has most of her shit together. She takes real offense to people ignoring her agency and will absolutely crush people that deserve it. That said at some points she feels inconsistent, and while the other characters feel like they have a lot of stuff going on in their heads, there is very little delivery when it comes to accomplishing anything without the protagonist there as a facilitator. The love interest is second only to the main character, and like several of its predecessors there is not a real villain in this book.

Consistency - Man does this book feel weird in the context of the Witch and Wolf universe, like I mean really weird. Some characters don’t feel right, and I cannot for the life of me figure out where this fits into the wider cannon.

Personal Enjoyment (Trash) Score: -  I had a good time with this book, the characters have nice interactions and feel alive for the most part, the plot is not very focused but it reads well, I just wish that it was either more settled in it’s universe or officially declared separate from the other Witch and Wolf titles. And fix that damn ending, Blain. 78 handcuffed sex jokes /100.

Teaser Summary:

Senior Special Agent Karma Johnson has worked hard for her dream job of joining CARD, the FBI’s division for finding missing children. In fact, it’s just as she’s preparing to leave for her new CARD position in New York that she’s mistaken for a teenager and caught up in a child abduction herself. Hopefully her training will pay off, or she may not make it out alive.

My thoughts:

This book is really enjoyable, and I had a lot of fun reading it, but damn is it flawed. Blain does a pretty good job of detailing the main character, Karma’s, inner thoughts and she really sells the story. However, there is a lot of conflicts in the story that come from really hamfisted sexism against the main character that I just don’t fucking see as realistic and detracts from the plot (that’s not to say that sexism is not a thing in law enforcement, just that it’s done really poorly). I also have reservations about the romance in the book, it’s pretty good towards the end, but the book starts late in the leading characters’ relationship, and there is not much hints about how the love part really happened; I can still chalk it up to an unreliable narrator, but it still doesn’t feel quite right to me. Overall though it’s a solid read if you want some urban fantasy with quirky characters but a mostly serious tone. Also, just so you know the supernatural stuff is barely touched on until you get to the last 25% of the book, so if you are looking for something that stresses the “fantasy” in “urban fantasy” you might feel a bit underwhelmed.

[bookswithkatz]

Pack Justice by R.J. Blain

Link to book here.

Link to full plot summary here.

Genre: Urban Fantasy

Serious Score: 55 /100 - The book is certainly serviceable, but it’s lack of content matched with a mediocre delivery leaves much to be desired.

Story - What was she thinking?! I enjoyed it but there wasn’t so much a story as a string of events presented in sequence; no climax, or discernible central conflict, or anything you expect from a book’s story. It is a weird experience.

“Plot” - The main character gets laid. That is all.

Characters - The main character is okay, nothing special. I’m not sure I can really describe any other character in more that one or two words, which means they are disappointingly empty. Love interest wasn’t bad, but only in the context of dialogue with the protagonist, no other interaction she had was any good.

Consistency - Violating your own cannon when you so specifically claim it’s set in the same universe as a bunch of other books is bad form y’know?

Personal Enjoyment (Trash) Score: -  I liked the book. It’s only notable trait within the context of the other books in it’s universe is that it’s way shorter. 60 sassy cheetahs /100.

Teaser Summary:

Prosecuting Attorney Sean Scott has two big secrets in his life. One: the bruises and scars his wife Idette regularly gives him hidden beneath his suit. Two: Sean has a spirit of a cheetah sharing his body, and it loves Defense Attorney Andrea Morgan better than it does him. Sean has a plan to deal with his secrets; he plans to give his marriage one last shot on a short vacation before serving the divorce papers, and then he can be free to follow his cheetah’s wishes. His plan does not go over well.

My thoughts:

It’s a nice read. But it is nothing special, and the length and lack of focus as a story does not do it any favors. If you like Blain, give it a look, otherwise you should probably find something better.

[bookswithkatz]

Beneath a Blood Moon by R.J. Blain

Link to book here.

Link to full plot summary here.

Genre: Urban Fantasy

Serious Score: 70/100 - Purely in the technical department, this book is about the same quality as Blood Diamond, but due to more personal preferences I can’t score it as high.

Story - There is so much that happens in this book, it’s hard to properly evaluate the story as a whole, it’s well done but... I just… have strong opinions.

“Plot” - Why must you stress me out like this, man? It reads well from scene to scene, but man do I not like the contents.

Characters - Main character is okay, the love interest is okay, the supporting cast is pretty good except for one character who is excellent. The villain is… fine…?

Consistency - If it weren’t for a lot of the supporting cast being the same as in previous books, the world of this book feels… wrong… for the witch and wolf universe, it should be treated as a standalone in all but the basic terminology.

Personal Enjoyment (Trash) Score: -  This book stressed me the fuck out. I can’t say I enjoyed the first 60% of the book, but it was certainly compelling. That said, it wasn’t a page turner for me and I often had to put it down and do something else so I wouldn’t snap my phone in half. 68 ruined stress balls /100.

Teaser Summary:

Sara Madison is struggling to get by. Stripping and working as a showgirl just doesn’t pay enough to get the education to move up in the world, and her refusal to sell her body doesn’t help much either. But when worrying gifts left on her doorstep take a turn for the deadly, Sara might just have to make a choice she never thought possible.

My thoughts:

UGH… I have many feelings about this book. I really appreciate how willing Blain was to explore some of the less ideal aspects of her world, but ho-OLY FUCK I was not enjoying myself for the first 60% of the book. If you get attached to characters, and get easily stressed, or are not okay with reading about abuse and torture and shit, maybe give this book a pass. Because the majority of the novel is watching the main character grasp at straws for something good in her life only to be ruthlessly beat down and stomped on. I really – REALLY – mean it when I say that this book was stressful for me. I kept having to put the damn thing down to take a deep breath and do something else, and it would be better if all the characters were awesome and they had complex and engrossing interactions, but most of the time they don’t. If I were to rank the best characters, the main character and the love interest would maybe tie for third, and the best character in my opinion is so far above the others it’s absurd. If you are invested in the world, or want some slightly darker urban fantasy that still has a good ending, then give this book a look, otherwise it’s hard for me to recommend.

[bookswithkatz]

Shadowed Flame by R.J. Blain

Link to book here.

Link to full plot summary here.

Genre: Urban Fantasy

Note: I’m changing the score section, instead of individual scores for each category, I will do only the serious and personal score, hopefully my scoring will be less inflated. I will still comment on each aspect.

Serious Score: 65/100 - An above average, if flawed, book. If you are invested in Witch and Wolf or have access to it for free, give it a go, otherwise you can take it or leave it.

Story - It’s not bad, it’s just not great. The story overall makes sense and is cohesive, I just wasn’t terribly impressed.

“Plot” - Good pacing, good scenes, and a well connected narrative, could still be better when it comes to the some plot threads.

Characters - Ugh, the main character is good, but I feel like she is just too good, at everything. The side characters are interesting and the villain is good, however, the leading man is kinda meh and most of what he is as a character was defined by what others said about him instead of stuff he did or said himself.

Consistency - As a standalone novel, it feels good, but in the context of the series I feel like some of the continuity is played too fast and loose, at points feeling like it should be in an alternate version of the universe it’s supposed to be set in.

Personal Enjoyment (Trash) Score: - Coming from Blood Diamond, this kinda felt like a step back for Blain. I’m not sure which of the two came out first, but Shadowed Flame is definitely the inferior book. Still, better than a lot of what I read and fits Blain’s general quality level. 70 exploding airports /100.

Teaser Summary:

Matia Evans is pretty satisfied with her lot in life- rich, beautiful, and intelligent- aside from her colorblindness she lacks for little as the young second-in-command of Pallodia Industries, a multi-billion dollar corporation. Unfortunately, she soon finds that the world is a bit less mundane than she had thought, and if Matia wants to keep her perfect life intact, she’ll need to become something more than human.

My thoughts:

I’m pretty conflicted when it comes to reviewing this book, it was the first I read from Blain, and it has a special status because of it. However, upon rereading all of the books, it just doesn’t hold up to my expectations. It’s not bad, I certainly enjoy it, it’s well above the average schlock you pull of the shelves, but I just can’t recommend it if you are not totally okay with some of it’s downsides. For one, the protagonist – the book asks a lot of your suspension of disbelief in her establishment. Matia Evans is, from what I can tell, in the age range of 18 to 20 years old; she is also second only to her father as one of the largest shareholders and employees of a multi-billion dollar corporation. So to book asks you to believe that a maybe 20 year-old woman without a college education was somehow allowed to become one of the most important executives of a huge company, and that she has been involved in doing so since she was 15; not likely, especially when the book is upfront with the fact that nobody in the office has heard her say more than a few sentences in the years she’s worked there – it even says that a lot of people think that she’s mute. It’s a ridiculous setup. Second on the list of problems is that the love interest is super boring, he has a well developed voice and you can recognize when it’s him that’s speaking but if you asked me to describe who he is as a character I could not for the life of me answer. Next, you need to be ready for some terribly convenient coincidences, and a villain who, despite being interesting, is just plain evil, also the book takes great pains to let you know he smells bad. Also, this may be a nitpick since we’re pretty far into her work, but where are all my multi-ethnic and queer characters at? It’s been this long I still haven’t seen one gay wolf, or witch, or anyone. The best we’ve gotten is some half-native American wolves in Blood Diamond and we only got them for one scene. I am disappointed. Overall it is enjoyable if you like Blain’s writing, but if you’re not sold on her work then maybe pick it up as cheap as you can find it.

[bookswithkatz]

Blood Diamond by R.J. Blain

Link to book here.

Link to full plot summary here.

Genre: Urban Fantasy

Serious Score: 86/100 - All the good things of previous installments with the bad parts minimized.

Story - It’s good, I have no big complaints, its just not excellent. 23/25

“Plot” - Everything is in order, transitions between scenes and plot points are solid. 22/25

Characters - Holy shit, character’s beyond the protagonist, it’s astonishing for Blain, there isn’t a defined villain for the most part, but the final antagonistic figure is pretty okay. 20/25

Consistency - No errors that I’ve really noticed, and there aren’t any contradictions in the world either, A+ world building there. 21/25

Personal Enjoyment (Trash) Score: - Best of the series so far, I really enjoyed myself reading this. I found no big flaws, its just not perfect; if you like urban fantasy, give it a try. 86 faked deaths /100

Teaser Summary:

Jackson Anderson has an odd relationship with dead people. While the Inquisition as a whole believes their favorite arms dealer and smuggler is just a two-bit earth witch who can only sense precious stones, Jackson powers are far less savory, he knows all the names of the dead. Unfortunately, he also had the misfortune of being the older twin of the head of the Inquisition, the Shadow Pope Elliot Anderson, and that means he gets roped into using his “talents” more often than he’d like. But when a simple mission turns into massacre, Jackson thinks it might just be time to cut and run while he can.

My thoughts:

This book is by far the best of the Witch and Wolf series. The characters are interesting and complete, and they interact really well together. It’s also important to note that this is the first one that has a definitive romance in it, and it’s pretty great, though the leading lady’s immediate interest felt a little weird to me. The story is well paced for the most part, but I found myself wondering if I was reaching the end only to find that I was in fact 28% into the book. The different sections of the story transition logically and well, and I found the escalation to be believable (save for that false end feeling I got around a third of the way in). Overall it’s a really solid read. I feel like I’ve messed up with what I’ve been reviewing, it’s distinctly not trash so far.

[bookswithkatz]

Winter Wolf by R.J. Blain

Link to book here.

Link to full plot summary here.

Genre: Urban Fantasy

Serious Score: 74/100 -  It’s better than the book before it, but not by much.

Story - Not perfect, but it only had one surprise reveal for no reason this time. 22/25

“Plot” - Different elements in the story transition and connect well, with very few loose ends. 20/25

Characters - While the main character is fairly interesting and well fleshed-out, most of side characters only get sporadic development in the last half of the book, one of most important side characters (the love interest) has so little development you would only know they end up together if someone told you or you read the “Tales of the Winter Wolf” short stories. Also, typical of this author, the villain is a bit lackluster in their development. 16/25

Consistency - The book maintains quality well, it does however have some spelling, grammar, and missing word errors. Also it sometimes feels like there are pages or sections missing, and it is pretty jarring at one very important point. 19/25

Personal Enjoyment (Trash) Score: - Better than Inquisitor, but not by much. If you like werewolves, this author’s style, or are desperate for more acceptable urban fantasy then I can wholeheartedly recommend. 76 method-acting wizards /100.

Teaser Summary:

Nicole Thomas is a struggling actress. When her agent sends her to buy a book as homework, she thinks she might be able to catch a break, but when she becomes the prime witness in a grizzly murder, she finds herself being pulled back into a world she thought she’d left behind. Can she survive among the supernatural world when her very existence is a crime?

My thoughts:

I’m really not sure what I can say that hasn’t been said in my score explanation. Winter Wolf is the second book in the Witch and Wolf series after Inquisitor, R.J. Blain does a pretty bang up job on all accounts, and improves on pretty much all elements from the last book, and while the villain for this book is still iffy, they are not as bullshit as the villain in its predecessor. Also I found the side characters to be better overall, but none of them can even come close to Samantha in Inquisitor. Still, it’s a good read and some of the best Amazon’s Kindle Unlimited library has to offer in its genre (though that’s not the highest bar to jump over).

[bookswithkatz]

Inquisitor by R.J. Blain

Link to book here.

Link to full plot summary here.

Genre: Urban Fantasy

Serious Score: 73/100 – Above average, but don’t go out of your way for it.

Story - Strong start, a bit Shyamalan in the last quarter of the book – 20/25

“Plot” - Again, reads well until the end – 20/25

Characters - Believable for the most part, the antagonist completely fails – 15/25

Consistency - The book maintains quality for the most part, just the ending is a glaring weakness – 18/25

Personal Enjoyment (Trash) Score: - A good romp if you like urban fantasy, but nothing too spectacular, 75 melodramatic werewolves /100.

Teaser Summary:

Allison Ferdinan is has made some pretty poor decisions in her life, but when a favor for a friend to masquerade as his lover for a Halloween party ends in being accused of committing a series of murders, she feels she may have topped her list. As Allison discovers old and enemies coming out of the woodwork, can she stay alive and intact? Especially when all the victims turn out not to be human.

My thoughts:

While it is neither the first nor the best of her work, Inquisitor is probably the best place to start reading R.J. Blain’s books from the Witch and Wolf universe. The main character, Allison, is well written if cliché at points; the supporting cast is not bad, particularly Allison’s assistant and friend, Samantha, who has pretty good banter with her, is well developed as a character, and could probably be a protagonist in her own right. The story- for the most part- flows well and the first three-quarters are really enjoyable with a clearly defined world and well paced suspense. However, the book is not without its problems, as you read more and more into Blain’s books, you may find the protagonists to be extremely similar, and not everything works narrative-wise. The last quarter of the novel is quite disappointing, with twists and turns and characters who aren’t what they seem being revealed repeatedly and often out of nowhere; the villain is definitely the worst part, as they are so out of left field and with so few acceptable reasons for it your goodwill for Inquisitor may just evaporate as a whole.