Perfected Insanity

[prttygirlposts]

draco malfoy general headcanons 🍏ᩘ᩠ᩳᨹ

His favorite color is green- not because of Slytherin heritage, but because it reminds him of the maze outside the manor, green apples, and his childhood bedroom.

Draco's hobbies include reading, exercising, watching quidditch, and collecting.

Draco- until Astoria passed- was a "loving standby dad." He did everything he needed too, made it clear he loved Scorpius, doted on him, etc. But, he was never the parent that Scorpius went to. He worked backstage while Astoria starred- and he liked it that way.

He had a delayed rebellious phase after the war. He insisted on moving out, "living without an allowance" (Lucius insisted on sending him at least 100 galleons a month), paying for a shitty flat (he hated it), getting piercings, listening to muggle music, and more. In his older age, he once told Albus, "the only part I enjoyed, was meeting Astoria."

Speaking of Albus, Draco has a soft spot for him. He is grateful for Albus on Scorpius's behalf, but he also sees his younger self in Albus. They both have a complicated relationship with their dads, they both are somewhat dramatic, they have a tendency to isolate themself, and they both have deep values but struggle to properly express them. I may make a post about this later.

Draco actually has a job as a potioneer. It allows him to work at home and he can ship out potions to his employers- sort of like an Etsy shop.

Draco is a drama king. Oh Merlin forbid this man stub his toe. He lives for reality TV shows, gossip, and soap operas. In his rebellious phase, you better believe he was in all kinds of mess. Pansy did not help.

When Lucius passed he was left with the peacocks. He takes very good care of them, but they fight like siblings.

His favorite food is tomato soup, because Dobby would make it for him when he was sick.

[ginnyw-potter]

I would love your thoughts on my theory: if James and Lily got to raise Harry it would be James the strict one. Focusing on discipline. Maybe because he would fear his son would be as arrogant as he was in 5th year so he prevents that at all costs (James had a lot of growing up to do then and it was hard).

This leads to some tension between the two. Totally assume Harry would be a teenager that fights back - he already was in cannon imagine if he hadn't gone through all that trauma.

I want to preface this with saying that if this is your theory, that's perfectly valid and it can be your headcanon if you like.

I don't see James as strict. This is his firstborn. His kid he made with Lily. This is Lily's baby! Both of theirs! Yeah no he's not being strict with that guy.

I think Harry would also have siblings if Jily lived and so that would influence how they handled their kids and how Harry experienced life.

James gains his sense of responsibility gradually. I don't think he'd be strict. This is the OG mischief maker, co-creator of the marauders map, he knows perfectly well you can have a little fun. I think both him and Lily would rather make sure their kids got their head on straight and teach them about owning up and being responisble. I don't think that translates into strictness

Lily is always depicted as the stricter of the two. I think she would make sure Harry and his siblings put their education first but she also knows better than to try and hold them back. They're too much like James and saying the opposite will only make it worse

I wasn't personally raised by strict parents and I would see it as a shortcoming for either of them to feel like they need to be strict and 'discipline' their kids. They're both smart and Harry is shown as smart and intuitive. This is a family where thoughts can be shared freely without repurcussions and where their opinions are respected so that they can have open discussions and learn from each other

Harry's distrust for authority is entirely a product of growing up with the Dursleys. He greatly appreciates advice from people he trusts and that would include his own parents. Sure, all teenagers rebel a bit but I don't think he'd be so averse about involving adults if he hadn't been abused and neglected by those who cared for him throughout the majority of his childhood

[district-thirteen-intern]

Katniss Everdeen says Peeta wanted kids. I say Katniss Everdeen is a dirty little liar who spent three books projecting baby fever onto the softest man alive while denying it so hard she almost gaslit herself.

And because I'm tired of arguing that Peeta didn't force Katniss to have kids, here's my probable version of what went down:

baby fever, but make it apocalyptic — everlark

it starts when delly has a baby

and katniss gets to hold it and it squeaks

her uterus literally tingles

cue immediate panic

she hands it back like it burned her

and then she immediately goes outside to shoot at squirrels until the feeling goes away

except—

(it doesn't really go away)

the next two weeks are a torture

"not everyone deserves to be a parent"

"what if they cry a lot"

"what if they're angry like me"

"what if they're allergic to bread"

"what if our child hates me"

"what if our child hates peeta"

no

no one can hate peeta

"but what if—"

it's exhausting

she steers clear of delly and her spawn the next few days

it doesn't work

her nightmares take a strange turn

she sees herself carrying a baby through the woods as she hunts

the baby giggles

another baby sits on the kitchen counter

with peeta's eyes and peeta's face

in matching aprons as peeta

and ugh—

she almost misses the mutts

anyway, she reorganizes the pantry

alphabetizes the herbs

knits something she insists is a herb pouch

but it's suspiciously baby-sized

eventually, it gets too much

and peeta is not helping

he's holding delly's baby when she visits him at the bakery

the baby is laughing

well, fuck

her whole resolve crumbles

he's making bread

she blurts, "your forearms are nice"

"thanks?"

"mm, they would be good for carrying things"

peeta raises a brow

"heavy things— like... sacks"

"sacks."

"or— like, baskets."

katniss is embarassed

peeta is visibly confused

and haymitch—

haymitch is dying of laughter

"did you know babies can't see color for weeks?"

"katniss."

"i just wanted to share a fact."

"katniss."

"it didn't mean anything. shut up."

and then she starts knitting a tiny hat

“is that for delly’s baby?”

"no."

"a friend’s baby?”

"no.”

"...katniss.”

peeta has suspicions

and they're confirmed when he finds her journal open to a page

titled: NAMES FOR HYPOTHETICAL BABY

Ember

Rue Rue ❤

Bread Jr.

NOT GALE

it ends like this—

Peeta, eventually: “Do you want to have ki—”

“YES”

“i didn’t even finish the word”

"i mean... i will if I have to, if you want too much... i mean i want to if you want to, i mean— because i love you so much."

“are you sure?”

“are you sure?”

"uh huh”

oh.

katniss blinks

"wait— that's it?"

"katniss, i've been waiting for you to stop glitching long enough to bring it up.”

she punches his arm

he laughs

haymitch starts prepping a baby-proof survival kit

no one dares ask what's in it

nine months later—

the baby is just as beautiful as she imagined

good thing peeta convinced her to have babies, really

i know it's exaggerated for comedy purposes but this is really not that far from the course of events i imagine happened— katniss is an expert at gaslighting herself after all— and I hope you liked it.

please don't forget to like, comment, and reblog if you liked it. and lmk if you'd be interested in being added to a tag list.

[dont-call-me-algernon]

Two kinds of reactions to sotr

[lewiathans]

I have the headcanon that Katniss’ kids keep bunnies as pets and one day, one of them dies from old age. That evening Katniss serves him up for dinner (food is food) and all hell breaks loose. The kids scream and cry, Peeta desperately tries to calm them down and Haymitch falls off his chair from laughing so hard while Katniss grumbles about how she doesn’t understand what they are on about.

After reading the Epilogue this headcanon is just cemented into my brain. I love her, but Katniss-I-tried-to-drown-my-sisters-cat-Everdeen would be fun to watch as a mother.

[transcyberism]

I actually think it's so funny that the way a hormonal IUD works is that it just lies to your uterus and fools it into believing it's pregnant. but instead of a fetus there's just a little plastic doodad in there. I'm pregnant and it's The Contraption.

[transcyberism]

my dumbass uterus: "man this thing has been cooking for like 5 years I bet it's gonna be the most awesome baby of all time"

my IUD: still just a plastic thingamajig

[ajarofpickledtears]

[sparemoon]

Quiet cat gf vs loud dog bf

[sparemoon]

Part 2

[reluctantfir0]

Hunger Games Headcanon (plus some minor SOTR spoilers)

I like to imagine in a somewhat better scenario that posts the 74th Hunger Games, when Katniss and Peeta come home, that Haymitch was forced to sober up significantly (at least for him, still drunk but not as often) because he realized these two kids in victors village did not know how to take care of themselves and he was forced to be somewhat of a guardian more often. Especially since any issues the two have, they just show up at Haymitch's house and it's gotten to a point where he just expects it. It's like post rebellion except it happens way earlier.

It's just come to his attention that Peeta lives alone because his family sucks so Haymitch just often finds Peeta in his kitchen baking and while he questioned it at first (Kid, what the fuck are you doing in my house?!?! Peeta: cookies :) ), eventually was like fuck it, and didn't bother trying to kick the kid out (and he got fresh pastries so sue him it's nice). He used to grunt or snort when Peeta would just start talking but it just came to a point where Haymitch was genuinely giving him advice and kicking him to sleep on the couch or go to bed (whether that be Haymitch guest room or Peeta's own house was determined purely on chance and it was usually Haymitch's guest room).

So great, now he has a kid to look after who's semi-moved in. It's somewhat easy, with Peeta, who is much more willing to share and talk. This doesn't stop the bad days when he sees Peeta shut down and barely talk, and Haymitch has to try and give his own talks and random quips about nothing to try and get Peeta out of his head. Haymitch hasn't held long conversations in such a long time. It's difficult, but it's progress, and seeing the kid function again takes some stress off of Haymitch's shoulders that he didn't know he had.

At least Katniss has her mom, or at least Haymitch thinks so. Because not a month later this feral, hissy teenager who reminds Haymitch of Johanna (and himself but he doesn't want to admit it) comes along and starts giving Haymitch some dead animals. (Haymitch: what are you, a fucking cat? Katniss: Take the damn rabbit Haymitch you drunk bastard).

And the same shit starts all over again except Katniss is way more closed off and guarded and moody in Haymitch's opinion but she's also hurting and Haymitch understands that. She has a tendency to walk around and find herself in the woods, sometimes sleeping in the trees, and Haymitch won't know until Peeta mentions that he hasn't seen Katniss go home yet and so now Haymitch is walking in the woods he hasn't been to since Burdock last took him, looking for Katniss and finding her curled to the side of a nice maple tree (that Burdock once showed him how to get syrup from in late winter, the both of them enjoying some fruit with it and selling it off). Haymitch doesn't say this of course, but he comes and picks her up and takes her back home, drops her in his guest bed, and goes to drink more because facing his childhood memories is tough and this girl several rooms down from him encompasses everything he ever cherished.

So now his days are spent playing reluctant babysitter (not that he calls himself this). Talking down nightmares and dragging (his) kids to go to bed and making sure they eat. He has to start locking his alcohol now so Katniss doesn't touch it. He finds his house much cleaner than it was before, mostly due to Peeta, but Haymitch stops leaving his shit around because it's depressing to see a kid take care of his clothes like a maid. He can often find Katniss or Peeta or both somewhere in his house doing random shit, or leaving notes.

Having the kids around him helps him fix himself up reluctantly, he eats better, and takes a bit more care of himself or else he gets nagged on. It's whatever, better to just take the damn shower instead of listening to Katniss yell at him for 10 minutes straight (He only knew one girl in this district before who could nag so much).

There are a lot of bad days, days filled with screaming, drunken messes, and knives being held. Some days they'll go a whole week without speaking to another. But they migrate back because it's just what happens when you only have two other people who understand you. But he will ask Peeta about what he's baking and his drawing. And eventually, Katniss will force Haymitch to go along with her on hikes in the forest and Haymitch will point at plants and feign ignorance, asking about them until Katniss gives him looks but starts talking about every one of them with a faraway look in her eye and the same excited tone Haymitch knew she got from Burdock when he pulled Haymitch into following him. Haymitch thinks he's got Katniss and Peeta figured out enough.

Everything is working out, not great, but they're living, and isn't that great for them?

Until the 75th games are called, and Haymitch sees what's happening. He thought it would be over, that Snow would be done. Of course not, and Haymitch shouldn't have left his fucking guard down for one minute.

He has both (his) kids asking that he protect the other (and it pains him that he can't, he fucking can't and Snow knows this, the fucking bastard). Haymitch can only do the one thing he knows best, and takes a swing from the bottle.

[incorrect-tbosas]

haymitch: is there a word that’s a mix of angry and sad?

lenore dove: malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolate

burdock: smad

[luneartt]

[part. 2]

[evermarch]

how do y’all think haymitch felt when katniss came back to him all “i want wiress, beetee, and mags as allies” in catching fire? hand-picking his two and a half men(tors)!!

“of course you do” as his response now means so much more bc he’s not just exasperated he’s like “you really are me with a braid”

[gurl-i-just-want-none-to-find-me]

Not Haymitch being the legal guardian of Katniss in Capitol and District 13.

In mockingjay,

Haymitch is annoyed about Katniss ripping off her earpiece, and he is showing her different PERMANENT earpiece option as a threat.

He specifically says, " I will AUTHORIZE them to surgically implant this transmitter into your ear".

Authorize, not ask them or tell them but AUTHORIZE.

That imples he has had to NOT authorize previous District 13 demands. Just like in the Capitol with breast enhancement surgery.

Few pages back, Asterid says how she didn't know Katniss was going to 8 till she was already gone. And Katniss goes, I'm sorry I'll ask them to clear everything with you.

And asterid replies, "Katniss no one clears anything from me".

Asterid is not Katniss' Legal Guardian anymore, Haymitch is. He has been running around for god knows how long keeping her safe and sane.

The I wonder is he the reason Katniss got discharged from the hospital while Finnick stays in a drug haze?

Is he the reason they leave her be when she doesn't follow schedule?

Is he the reason they let her hide in pipes and closets?

And I'm reminded of lil Haymitch taking care of even littler children during his games. Wondering why they all come to him. And he's fails to keep any one of them alive.

Except Katniss. That's a daughter thrusted to him. And he's trying so fucking hard to not let her die too.

I'm gonna go cry now

#why do all the little ones stick to me

[imissthembutitwasntadisaster]

Hmm actually Lucy Gray is different from Haymitch and Katniss and Peeta because her tragedy is she caused the games to continue. If the games hadn't become entertaining, they wouldn't have continued and she made it entertaining because she was an entertainer - she saved herself but she doomed dozens more because she performed too well and it allowed the Capitol to make the games a performance in the later years. Haymitch's tragedy is that he couldn't end the games, Lucy Gray's is that she continued them.

[igibbydotcom]

theres a distinct difference between Katniss’s and Haymitch’s narration style that i think a lot of other people are noticing and it is that haymitch seems to know a lot more about District 12 and Panem than Katniss seemed to. and SotR might seem like lore dropping or name dropping but like. i think it says a lot about them as people.

I think the lack of context we get from Katniss isnt just due to propaganda, but largely due to the fact that she’s so deeply rooted in poverty and survival mode that she simply doesn’t have the mental capacity for anything else. When traumatized, our brains automatically retain less information than they ordinarily would and we see that with Katniss. Not for friends, or school, nor propagandized television lore. Notice how we get descriptions of most tributes before she remembers their names, if she ever does, while Haymitch actually remembers a lot of their names right off the bat. When you’re fighting for your life every day, it really doesn’t leave much energy for anything else. She’s used to saving all of her energy for providing for her family.

But Haymitch isn’t providing for his family. He has several friends, a healthy romantic relationship, and retains information about society because hes not neglected.

It’s just so interesting that Katniss is the luckier of the pair because in their childhood parallels, she drew the short stick compared to him. She’s only luckier cuz she had him.

[apinchofm]

The Pitt fanfics

I have been deep in the Pitt!!

Have and Hold - T, Robby x Collins, comfort and fluff

After the shift from hell, Robby goes home

Whatever You Want - E, Robby x Collins, smut

Heather going through the hoops and options when there is a simple solution in front of her.

First Call - G, Robby x Collins, humour

How Robby found out about Collins' fear of rats!

I feel alive when I'm with you - T, Robby x Collins, family fluff

A day in the Pitt and the Pitt's first baby. Or Heather being stubborn and Robby loving her so much and the shenanigans of being parents and doctors.

A Moment - T, Abbot x Mohan, comfort

Mohan, Abbot and a moment on the roof

Break Room Talks - G, fluff and humour, pre-relationship

Mohan chatting with her crush in the break room.

[mapetitefeedeslilas]

abbot x mohan inspired playlist cause I'm down so bad for those two

[group-dynamic]

i really enjoy your thoughts on the pitt and i’m sooooo happy to see someone that also ships mohan and abbott, my wild theory is they’re actually together but keep it a secret.

i’d like to hear more of your thoughts on them if you’d like to share.

thank you!

Oh thank you!! And abso-LUTE-ly!!

I don't even know if I have analysis for them, yet, I just can't stop staring at them, haha. For me it's how the entire perceived dynamic exists in the decisions between the actors and with the editors.

I think it would be hard not to ship them after witnessing that little smile-into-a-double take that Abbot does when Samira engages with him after he saves her patient. She is impressed and smiles so brightly and compliments him and then does that amazingly flirtatious line read of "What else you got in your go bag?" and almost automatically and distractedly he does, "Oh, just wait and see" and then, subconsciously, like he can feel her smiling behind him, his mouth pulls into a smile, and he can't help but do a double take after her. Oooohh my goddd??

They just. . . notice each other. My beautiful, subtle ship. The editors are helping to create this relationship through sheer force of will with how they linger on Samira's concern after she notices that Abbott is donating blood. How she is both impressed and seems worried and does her own double take to see if he's alright or if she should say something. I love your theory that they're secretly together, especially with the "I can feel you smiling" moment, like they're on the same wave length the same way they are when performing the risky operation in ep. 14.

I can also see an interpretation where this is the first time they're really "seeing" each other due to the novel, stressful circumstances they're under. That they're falling a bit because of what they each bring to the table: what the other lacks. Mohan's double take when she sees he's donating while actively saving lives felt so new--like she's unsure if she has a right to say anything if he doesn't register that what he's doing is painfully selfless and self sacrificial. It's par for the course to him, but she clocks that his behavior is also a lack of concern for his own well being. I love the idea of Mohan who carries love and care and patience for everyone being the person who our "ongoing existential crisis with suicidal tendencies" finds a reason to smile for. I love the idea of "nervous slo-Mo" Mohan being given the confidence to trust herself and be bold and charge forward by his faith and confidence in her.

It's also how he returns the favor of setting her up to feel good about herself the way she helped him. He guides her through an impossibly difficult procedure, hyping her up and being steady and certain and a shield against the voice of doubt (personified in Walsh in that moment). Oh man, it's how brightly Mohan smiles when she says, "Thanks" to him after he tells her to take the win. How he teases her ("It was too risky for me") in a way that simultaneously communicates: (1) I can be lighthearted / humorous, too, (2) I was also scared, tbh, even if I look confident, (3) I have more faith in you than myself. BIG heart eyes.

Finally, I'm still reeling over the knowing, sweet smile that Abbott gives toward Walsh after Mohan's "Am I the only one who missed that day in medical school?" comment. Like, I want to believe that Abbott was already smiling, then Walsh looked over and saw his reaction and went. . . Oooohhhh :) You think that was cute. I agree, it was, and he's all yeah, yeah. :)))) Biggest smile we've ever seen on him.