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@district-thirteen-intern
the housekeeper's guide to ruining everything
Pairing: Haymitch x OC
Fandom: The Hunger Games
Summary:
The funny thing about hiring a housekeeper to save your life is that sometimes it actually works—which is bad news for Haymitch Abernathy and his long-standing commitment to liver failure. Rot, as it turns out, is much easier to maintain when nobody keeps scrubbing at it.
AO3 Link: Here
Coming Soon
you are the first person who brought up the topic of Haymitch being white in the adaptation!!! I was so angry but it seemed like no one cared anymore, but if the canonically white character was replaced by a black one, there would be a wave of discontent "the little mermaid" and "snow white" are examples of this, which once again proves that people never cared about canonicity, this shit has a completely different name
#peoplesaytheyaren'tracistswhenitcomestowhites
and yk let's not even talk about the people who didn't say a word. let's all shine a light on the hypocrites who did speak up about it, understand it's wrong, and will still go and watch the movie when it comes out. when you talk the talk, but can't follow through, you're actually worse than those who didn't speak against it at all, because you benefit from the discussion when it's convenient, and then shelve it away forever. the only way to stop this bs is to make it hurt for them—impact their profits... but that will never happen because people want to be politically correct on the internet, but not enough to actually put their money where their mouth is.
so yes, I'm mad at the racists, but I'm even more mad at the performative people horrified for maybe two weeks before they are again raving about how they can't wait to watch the movie.
i'm so sick of people going "you hate gale because he is a radicalized, emotionally manipulated teenager who faced great trauma" like no, i hate gale because he's annoying, bro. don't do me like that.
hey so this is insane behavior. it's legitimately never that serious. i can hate a character just 'cause his hair is blue and not pink, because it's just a character and I'm not harming anyone by having a strong preference against it. if you're this sensitive over what's clearly a tongue in cheek post, i strongly advise you to gtfo off the internet and touch some grass.
im not even gonna actually put on blast whoever said that since, i repeat, it's never that serious, but sincerely, get some help.
Peeta Mellark’s role in the rebellion is often undervalued, cast as the emotional foil to Katniss’s pragmatism or Gale’s radicalism on here. But this view overlooks the strategic depth of his resistance. Peeta’s defiance isn’t loud or violent—it’s rooted in emotional autonomy, which, in a system built on fear and control, is very subversive. From the start, Peeta challenges the Capitol’s values. Giving bread to Katniss at risk of punishment. Confessing his love on television before the Games. Choosing connection over self-preservation in a system designed to strip people down to their most primal instincts. He reframes their story from bloodsport to tragic romance, challenging the entire premise on which The Games operate, that when it comes to survival, people become no better than animals.
But he retains his humanity and exercises emotional autonomy by refusing to play along with what the Capitol expects from every tribute— to fight for their lives while disregarding everything else. In doing so, he forces the Capitol audience to see them as human beings, not just district savages killing each other for entertainment. And if I see anyone undervaluing his contributions or portraying him as dead weight, or as someone whose role in the rebellion was coincidental or anything less than deliberate, I’m going to scream.
bringing this back because the ali hazelwood discourse has brought such an uptick in wild takes that frankly reek of illiteracy and lack comprehension that some of y'all need a reminder. but let me preface that even if her opinion is "wrong" to you, it's despicable that people bullied her, and sent threats over it for more than a month.
touch grass, seriously.
but also, peeta wasn't useless. if you take him out of the story, there is no story, because there is no berries incident, which yk, sparked the whole revolution. may i remind you katniss was ready to kill to go back home, and might have too if it had been anyone other than peeta? if he hadnt saved her life first, she wouldn't even have got that choice. you don't have to hate gale for him. gale is an interesting character too, and you can like him better. but peeta is one of the strongest characters in the hunger games. he's the first in the series to express anti-capitol sentiments. he performs small acts of kindness (like giving her bread at the risk of personal harm). he goes through absolute hell, losing his own sense of self, which was most important to him, and still recovers. he volunteers for her, and even indirectly encourages her towards gale in the quarter quell, because, unlike gale, he prioritises her happiness over his desires. but some of y'all want the same possessive, short-tempered, morally grey YA lead in every book, and simply flocked to the character who most closely imitated that standard, and it shows.
peeta : suffered an abusive childhood, low self-esteem, survived two hunger games, was willing to die multiple times throughout the series, lost his leg, was captured and tortured by the president and his men, his entire family died, lost his entire memory/sense of self, practically had nothing left to live for.
gale : lost his father at thirteen, had to risk his life every day to provide for his mother and all his younger siblings, watched the genocide of his people and was powerless to stop it, was whipped publicly until he almost bled out and died, was manipulated and exploited by a president who saw his trauma as a weapon she could use.
people who zero reading comprehension : “those boys only cared about katniss! she had a revolution to lead and they just dragged her down and focused only on kissing! the books would have been more nuanced without romance!”
Uhhh I thought y'all hated Gale so much
me? no. I found him annoying at different sections but I never hated him. I began to resent him a long time ago after getting on tumblr and getting the whole “if you hate gale you just don’t understand him for this reason or you dislike him because of this [awful] reason”. I hated those takes.
I never agreed with the idea that he was an terrible, heartless person or inherently bad, but I also hate the way his fans defended him, like disliking him was a moral failing or a blindness or flaw.
I didn’t even dislike him until getting on tumblr.
I hate gale because he's annoying and I don't need a good reason or a moral failing or media literacy (or lack thereof) to hate gale... I'm just a gale hater.
The last thing you ordered online is now your weapon during an apocalypse, are you doomed?
yes
no
*sobs*
it's great!
results
i'm so sick of people going "you hate gale because he is a radicalized, emotionally manipulated teenager who faced great trauma" like no, i hate gale because he's annoying, bro. don't do me like that.
He was so condescending!! Like I get it, you grew up fast, but why are you taking it out on my best friend Katniss? She gets it, don’t talk to her like she’s your child bride or whatever.
I dont hate him for his war time decisions, (even though I don’t exactly love them!) I hate him because sucks at empathy, while taking everything personally and he doesn’t even have the decency to be interesting!
I think it’s infuriating that he simultaneously looks down on Katniss for not “getting” the evils of the capitol like he does,, while also being mad at her for shit the Capitol puts her through.
Also,, if my best friend since forever,, my ride or die, that I had an obvious but still secret crush on was sent to a televised murder championship,,, I would not feel betrayed *by her* for anything that happened on that tv show. Like truly It would have been so fucked up if Katniss refused to get close to peeta out of like, loyalty to gale or something.
“Damn this delirious boy who is maybe dying of blood poisoning, who I also feel indebted to, has kind of become my responsibility. Im getting the impression that the fucked up puppeteers of this situation are more likely to keep us from dying right now if I give them some sort of performance. But I couldn’t… since this is all being televised I should probably not attempt to better my situation, or god forbid find comfort in physical affection, that would be a slight to my bff, who is being forced to watch. Which we can all agree is just as bad as being forced to participate!! Maybe I can give peeta a kiss anyway, as long as I remember that this is all about Gale at the end of the day.”
and this, coming from gale, who would've already seen on television how peeta saved her life when she was hallucinating from the tracker jacker venom, getting fatally injured in a death arena, and was so mean to both of them for what? she didn't even owe him anything because they were nothing more than friends before the games, so there was no betrayal. he's older than both of them, and still wildly immature, focusing on the wrong things... and this last bit is not a valid criticism because it's just ✨ vibes ✨ I get, and I don't have much defense for it, but something about gale and his self-absorbed nature when it comes to his feelings just reminds me of the incels crying about male loneliness epidemic everywhere, and I just can't unsee it. The whole scene where Katniss asks him if the bombs were his, and he finds out she found out about prim, all those conflicts after the first games because she dared to make choices for her survival over his feelings, and the entitlement at some points... just, yeah.
All I can say is, if you think there wasn't enough time to make Haydove into a shippable couple, Pixar had us all sobbing over the love story of Carl and Ellie in Up within 8 minutes.
Time or space to tell a love story isn't the issue, the writing is.
i wish more people would understand that the hunger games is not a romance series. lenore dove’s writing was there to show how authoritarian governments control the people, and kill anyone who stands in their way.
I wish people would understand a huge part of the story does rely on the romance. If you can't root for it, it's so annoying to read through it because she appears so often. It was a choice from the author to have romance in the dystopian world, so it's a perfectly valid criticism that the book did a poor job of it. It's almost like you can have a character have more than one purpose in a story.
You get to spend every day with our leader? (That's nothing special Coin is one of us, she is with us at all times and is found among the people) but still holy Coin! What's it like?
It's such an experience! President Coin has this incredible ability to enter a room without making a sound and still make you feel like you've done something wrong. I once dropped my clipboard just because she looked in my direction.
It wasn't even my clipboard. I don’t know whose clipboard it was.
It disintegrated under pressure.
She rarely speaks to me — except once, when I accidentally triggered the fire suppression system outside her office and she said, and I quote, “Why are you like this?” — which, honestly, is the closest thing to mentorship I’ve ever had. But hey, being in her presence is very motivating. In the same way a countdown clock is motivating when you're trapped in a locked room with no air vents. Inspiring stuff.
1 hour until my shift ends, and my shift as a lifeguard in the pool begins. Coin bless. Shitty work day, the inmates made so much fucking noise and the latrine overfilled again so it smelled ALL DAY. Why do the social deviants have to make so much noise? Soldier Brown says the latrine should be fixed by next week which is good.
Have you had to deal with any latrine overflows/pipe leaks?
That sounds like such a tough job... There was this one time I filed a report about a minor pipe leak. Turns out I accidentally triggered the emergency flood protocol.
The lower archive was evacuated, two tech officers slipped on the same puddle in succession, and someone submitted a formal complaint about “moist revolutionary conditions.” I’m still banned from touching any plumbing-related paperwork since then, let alone latrines. Still, better than the time I tried to “help” maintenance by rerouting a pipe myself. I flooded the comms room and shorted out three consoles. We lost contact with District 7 for six hours. President Coin is still mad about that.
hits different is an everlark song bc “i pictured you with other girls in love then threw up on the street” is the most katniss coded thing ever
“Found the artifacts, cried over a hat” 🤝 Katniss kissing that damn pearl
"Dreams of your hair and your stare and sense of belief In the good in the world, you once believed in me" like this isn't Katniss spiraling about Peeta.
I hate having banger fanfic ideas. What do you expect me to do? Write them down????????????
i'm so sick of people going "you hate gale because he is a radicalized, emotionally manipulated teenager who faced great trauma" like no, i hate gale because he's annoying, bro. don't do me like that.
Alma Coin blesses your work! It's so much more complicated then mine, I just guard 13 from social deviants and delinquents, its such a simple job. What's all the paperwork like?
Oh, the paperwork is just a bunch of misfiled requisition forms and forms about misfiling requisition forms. But my job is mostly just to fetch coffee, try not to spill it, and pretend I know what a “tactical resource allocation grid” is.
Just yesterday, I stapled my own hand to a report while trying to impress the munitions clerk.
(She was not impressed.)
President Coin walked by, sighed so hard the lights flickered, and muttered something about conscripting houseplants instead. I'm still not sure if that was a threat or a promotion. Anyway, I salute your service, truly. Guarding against social deviants sounds way above my clearance level. I once tried to detain a suspicious individual—turned out it was just a coat rack. I panicked and saluted it for three minutes straight.
It was shameful.
You make it look easy. Please teach me your ways.
I'm stupid but I only just thought of this: did haymitch keep the whole rebel plan a secret from katniss because he didn't want her to have to deal with the emotional fallout if it failed?
I saw your post about SROTR (https://www.tumblr.com/district-thirteen-intern/782479640115740672/so-im-almost-halfway-into-sunrise-on-the-reaping?source=share)
And I wish I could stay anon for this (it's embarrassing) but it's ok. I agree fully with you. Also this is kinda unrelated but regarding Lenore Dove. I agree with what you said about her and well, I like to imagine myself in her place instead. Aka, me x Haymitch lol
Idk, random thought (I should learn to not have shame for this kind of stuff)
I'm always glad to find people who agree on this! It's such an unpopular opinion in the fandom but she is so annoying to me. Her brand of rebellion is, ultimately, useless, and dangerous to all. She appears so much more frequently in Haymitch's thoughts than his own family, which I will never not be mad about. And him descending into grief because of her death cheapens his character so much more, imo — he didn't do that because he lost his family or because he lost all his allies or because he had killed people in the arena or because he had been humiliated and treated like a pet by the capitol in the worst ways or because he now has to forever keep delivering two children to their deaths each year. Nope. He grieves because of Lenore Dove.
Wtf?
And making her covey and then making her the main love interest of the book, and then making her related to Burdock — it brings back the chosen one trope that the author had so neatly avoided in the original trilogy. Just why. Since I first read the book, I've only grown to dislike her more and more tbh.
anyone who still refers to gale as the prim reaper or acts like he’s the worst character in the series need to read the books again and take a class on media literary
