I’m getting married this week. is this real life?
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Not today Justin

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@borderlinenationaltreasure
I’m getting married this week. is this real life?
Aye I’m Declan 🔥 Certified Cat Dad and soon to be Mr. Flint. At the moment I’m trying to dodge all spoilers for YOU and it’s working out pretty well. I can make one of the best Philly cheese steaks you’ve probably ever tasted and I’m proud of that. Uh if you’re obsessed with Star Wars too, you’re the worlds biggest nerd and we should be friends 🤘🏻 ->vpsidedownn
When will my beloved return from the war
I've gotten an influx of porn bots following me lately and I've done literally nothing so I don't know how they're finding me all of a sudden
The amount of times I've realised I need to charge my phone and then just not done it is too damn high
For some reason, whenever I hear Corpse's voice, I can't help picturing like, basically a young Joey Jordison and I'm pretty sure nothing is going to be able to change that now
Batman: “It’s been a long day. Alfred, please fill up the bathtub.”
Alfred: “Master Bruce, what’s a htub?”
Am I too late to join the revolution of cute
but the good news is:
She’s making sure no one steals it
tail: check
Sinners Never Sleep is 10 years old today, so I feel ancient now
Me at all times
The amount of times I've caught Goose eating fluff but been too slow to stop her this week is too damn high
Facebook just did that "people you may know" thing and it was a guy shirtless with a massive snail on his shoulder 🤢
Thinking about that day another park ranger and I discovered that
1. we both used the same shampoo and
2. Suave Essentials Tropical Coconut drives honeybees absolutely bugfuck wild
3. He's allergic to bees
It’s likely the scent! Banana scent (Isoamyl acetate) is the same scent as the aggression pheromone bees put out when they’re angry. Never eat bananas near bees! Always check your lotion, sunscreen, etc bottles for banana scent or isoamyl acetate before going near bees
So you're telling me that when bees get mad they start violently smelling like bananas?
Can confirm! In (hopefully) very rare cases, a large hive full of pissed off bees smells a lot like bananas! Usually there’s not nearly enough of them for humans to be able to smell it, though.
@cyber-flow thank you for the funniest tags I've seen all day.
Dear god, my follows were fucked
There's honestly nothing on this earth better than laying your head on your cat's side and listening to them vibrate cause they're happy to see you
I have a zit in the crook of my elbow?????