Somehow, being in spaces that are explicitly for trans people is really emotionally draining.
I'm genderqueer, basically in the sense that I don't strongly identify with gender enough for it to impact me, but I also don't like being called a "woman". I've narrowed down that I instead prefer to be referred to as a "female", but I don't really care what pronouns people use for me.
So I do fall under the "not totally cis" bracket, but this is intrinsically linked to my nonhumanity. I don't want a woman's chest anatomy, because ew gross, I'm not ever planning to reproduce, and tits are only ever apparent when mammals have recently had young. Gross.
In trans-specific places, the only way I can explain my gender differences is by also explaining my nonhumanity. If I do that, more likely than not, I'll either be laughed at, disregarded, or worse, told I'm actively being malicious towards the community because being trans is real, but "pretending to be an animal" is not, and "discredits the community".
And I'm sensitive to that. I totally get why, in our current society, it's not safe to conflate being a therian or nonhuman with being trans. I wish we could all live authentically, but in a world where being an animal essentially puts you on the same tier as "object", saying that we're "the same" as trans humans puts them in that category as well. This creates real danger for them, as the cards are already stacked against them. I'm not willing to endanger any one of my human trans friends by asserting the fact that I'm not cis because I'm not human.
It's not fair, and it shouldn't be like this. Everyone should be able to be celebrated for who they are. This creates a situation where every time I've ever wanted to "come out" as genderqueer in a safe place for trans humans, I stop short.
It's very isolating. The only place I can talk about this shit is places like this, and with a select few online friends. I could find a trans human space tomorrow if I wanted, but there's no nonhuman groups around my area: at least, not open ones that I could find.
I'm just yapping at the void. Maybe someone else out there feels like this too.