Alterhumans | nonhumans | physically identifying nonhumans | plural systems | queer people | mentally ill people (this very much includes personality disorders, dissociative disorders, and schizo-spec/psychotic individuals) | disabled people | neurodiverse people | POC
My asks are always open so if you wanna talk go ahead :]]
I'm not a therian but pls reblog or something if youre an adult therian. I need to find more nonhuman blogs, a lot of people on here who identify as animals are children.
After a quick re-build of the site due to an unforeseen issue, The Howling Howff is back open!
Get your werewolf shirts here 🐺🌕🎉 - https://thehowlinghowff.co.uk/
🐺 bibisclavret Follow
not to tell anyone how to do lycanthropy but you probably shouldn’t be transforming on an empty stomach. that shit burns a lotta calories
🐺 bibisclavret Follow
you shouldn’t be transforming on a full stomach either unless you want a one way trip to vomit town
Stop domesticating your werewolves! Don't make them out to be little more than large dogs! Let them roam free and wreak carnage upon local civilians then agonize over what they've done after waking up naked in the woods the next morning!
Silly piece inspired by this drawing by @asmeesh (her stuff is great- go check it out). The spirit of Monday mornings.
I didn't do an exact 1-for-1 from the reference, as I wanted to try my hand at a properly groggy expression to work with the to-go mug. This piece was really an exercise in making something 3d out of a 2d image, so it's pretty experimental- I had a tricky time figuring out the anatomy on the left side, which isn't pictured in the reference. I think it turned out all right.
I'll probably paint this one as well once it's been fired. I'd like to put some moss on the rocks, and I absolutely want to put some kind of bright, cheery logo on the to-go mug. Huge, pointy claws will be added post-firing as well, of course.
I am tired. I am tired and i'm never not tired. I think I used to be an energetic person? I know that I'm supposed to be a socially outgoing and bubbly person. That's who I really am on the inside and I still push myself to show that outwardly but God... it just takes so much out of me to even try to be myself anymore.
I'll but a TW and gap here because I'm about to talk about what's up with me lately and it's not great stuff.
It seems like every year since childhood, I have gotten progressively more tired progressively faster and it takes progressively longer to have anything even slightly resembling a "recovery." No matter what I do,, sleep or no sleep. Rest barely helps.
On top of the constant mental and physical exhaustion, is the recent return of my childhood agoraphobia and anxiety. It makes me nauseous. All. the. time. I was already having problems with my throat and throwing up/gagging way more often than is considered normal,, i clearly have a problem that needs addressing and the nausea doesn't help. I've been to doctors about it before and had medicines to try and fix it but,, nothing helped much. I just had to learn how to manage and keep food down on my own. Those first few weeks of the big troubles were the hungriest and weakest I had been in a long time. In between randomly collapsing and sudden episodes of extreme vertigo, I was throwing up multiple times a day. My throat would close up (laryngospasm) and not let me have aaaany oxygen for a good few minutes at a time. I remember a few times I did or almost did pass out.
I'll be honest,, i don't think those symptoms are even related to eachother but they certainly didn't make any of the others easier to deal with when they were worsening. They're all objectively easier to deal with now that I've learned how bad they can get and how to best avoid triggering them,, but they're still problems.
I'd consider myself an emotionally inteligent and empathetic person- the best I know how to be when almost all of my emotions present at first only as deeply uncomfortable and very often painful and sickening physical sensations. Almost everything translates into some form of nausea.. or something plus nausea.. or something so emotionally pungent it becomes nauseating. You'd think id be used to it by now but how can I be when any strong feeling (whether I actually feel it or not) makes me need to hurl and hurling risks me choking on my own fucking throat. -But nowadays I can barely feel anything at all. The variety of emotions I can actually feel literally (physically) or figuratively,, has shrunk down to less than a handful.
I don't really know what's happened,, maybe my meds- maybe because of my situation or drastic changes in environment? I've been through alot. I don't know.
All i know is i used to be an absolute crybaby. I'd get angry and sad alot,, I'd cry multiple times a day. Sometimes all day, for days. Sometimes the feeling would be so strong that I felt like my chest was concaving in on itself and breaking apart into pieces. I felt rotten and disgusting- But I also would laugh. Sometimes I'd feel joy so extreme it'd fill up my entire body, I would laugh so hard I couldn't move or breathe. I felt like I was made of fireworks. True euphoria. The swings were volatile and overwhelming. I was hypersensitive and easy to manipulate, influence and abuse. I felt so much all the time. I hated it.
But nowadays I find myself missing those times I could feel at.
I've been reduced down to- no a shell of a person doesn't put across what im trying to communicate... -I feel like a lump. The only feelings I can easily manage are "want" and "don't want" and persistent, neverending underlying anxiety +depression. It's all so simple. I still have my intense mood swings,, but now they're completely inexpressive and internally plain. I feel up or I feel down. Or I feel up and down. (And to clarify- these ups and downs can only be recognised when extremes,, i'm referring to extremes here.) I get frustrated and irritated I think? But that all just kind of feels like an ever so slightly more pointed "don't want."
I'm still very capable of complex thought,, so why am I no longer capable of complex emotion?? How long will this last? Why is even a shred of anger or excitement so surprising to me now that I always take a moment to try and savour it,, and why is it always so fleeting. I can't savour anything. All joys and miseries slip away from me like water through hands that can't close a cup around it. I can't hold on to anything for longer than a few seconds.
Back then, I thought feeling as much as I did was beyond exhausting,, but now I know it's so much worse when there's nothing left to feel. Maybe I used it all up in one go. Now it's wasted.
I know nothing ever lasts forever,, not even this. But man,, im so tired.
