As I am on the phone with the 911 dispatcher, and trying to explain I could be losing my baby right now.... police showed up and then the firefighters was coming and I wanted to leave to get to the hospital and kept telling the dispatcher I need to leave, but I didn't want to leave the scene of the accident. I tried to tell the officer, but he wanted my driver's license and registration and insurance, so I provided everything to get going. At this time the pain started to get more intense, my body was getting into fight or flight mode because I had an accident before with my youngest daughter, overall just a overwhelming and scary experience. The police found out that my DL expired literally 2 days ago Saturday 10-15 on my birthday and did not want me to park the car into the parking lot. They did not want to help me or help the situation any better. I kept asking the officer's where are the EMTs and ambulance. They were like "we have sirens and lights right now". I felt the blood and pressure in my abdomen and did my best to hold everything because I did not want to lose my baby.
Firefighters showed up first and just surrounded the area. They got basic information from me, my name, and how far along I am, primary doctor, vitals. Then the police were asking for my niece's information, super rude by the way, cause she had no identification on her. Well, duh she doesn't drive, she has a state ID and passport, but not usually needed to have on hand going anywhere within city limits. Within the state of California really.... no drinking no drug use, had seat belts on, clean driving record, no previous citations or tickets or driving violations. And my license expired over the coarse of the weekend. It was literally Monday. Police wouldn't have known about the DL if it wasn't for the accident I didn't even cause. Only that I needed medical attention.
Finally the ambulance and EMTs showed up minutes after everyone was showing up and did the same thing with vitals and basic information. Everyone was talking about my expired license, my previous service in the Army, and the need of medical attention. I kept telling everyone and pleading to let me go to the hospital but PD didn't want to let us go. I didn't understand what the hold up was considering I gave all the information needed and that I was not driving or anything and I can have someone pick up the car instead of having it towed. It didn't make any sense delaying my medical care.
Finally EMTs were able to get the green light and load me on the ambulance and they even went our their way to bring my niece instead of leaving her stranded on the side of the road. As soon as they were about to close the second door, they were stopped by an officer who claimed they were going to give me a card. I thought it would be quick a card with a case number on it and the name of the police officer in case I needed to get in contact with them. 5-10 minutes pass by and everyone is mad at this point and the police officer comes back with my citation of my expired license. And instead of my car being towed away or picked up by a family member, the fireman was kind enough to drive my car to the hospital. So, I signed the citation just ready to go; to leave. I was so upset, mad, sad cause I wanted to save my baby, but I knew deep down it was already too late because I felt everything "leaving" at this point.
Truly grateful for the firefighters and EMT who truly were the heroes during this incredibly stressful time in getting me to and in the hospital. They really took care of me. And I super appreciate the nurses, techs, lab phlebotomists, and the doctor for showing me the utmost courtesy and respect and care upon arrival, during, and throughout discharge.
Anyway, long story short everything was super fast and I was able to give a urine sample and ultrasound and at this point it was around 5:30 PM. I called 911 at 2:55 PM. When I gave the urine sample was when my whole life fell apart. I was staring at my baby and it's remnants in the toilet. The urine sample was saturated with blood. I felt bad on whoever had to do the urine dip. I fell apart in my brothers embrace.....as much as we were joking and trying to laugh, I was literally dying inside. From the pain and from the loss and just from the experience.
Summarizing the next couple of hours, Dr. told me he couldn't find the baby. I didn't mention to him the baby was flushed down the toilet so when he told me that my HCG levels were still faintly showing a positive pregnancy, the ultrasound showed no sign of life, at this point in time, it registered to me I was no longer carrying a baby. I was diagnosed and discharged with a threatened miscarriage and a UTI. Different providers can tell me anything they want, but I know why I lost the pregnancy. It wasn't because I was 1 out of 3 women; it's common to have a incompatible pregnancy. I lost the baby due to stress, illness (stomach flu), over working (2 jobs and constant care of a 5 and 4 year old at home), and finally the accident. It was a multitude of events that led up to my miscarriage.
Angelica and I left the ER at 7 PM or so.......and started my journey to recovery....physically, mentally, but most of all emotionally. I miss my baby already and I just regret not seeking medical attention sooner. Not at least, being able to measure and take an ultrasound picture of my angel baby; estimating 5 weeks 5 days gestation.
I will miss you forever my little one. You didn't stay with mommy long and wasn't able to meet your sisters who were eagerly waiting for you. Just know you were wanted and you're loved. God has bigger plans for us I guess and I will leave it in His capable hands. We love you bug. Say Hi to our cousin J-Raxx up there and continue to warm our seats in heaven. I'll do my best to stop crying.
