I was up really late one night (what else is new lolol) and became really inspired to write. Sitting in my desk chair, spinning around, and unwilling to focus on my responsibilities, I started feeling unbelievably…dissatisfied.
About what? I don’t really know myself.
Maybe it was the fact of being back home and how the familiar air made me unproductive and unmotivated to do anything: laziness.
Maybe it was the seemingly never ending streak of douche-bag experiences in my love life throughout this year: bad luck.
Maybe it was the bitter sweet itch of excitement I felt to move to my new apartment, but realized that also meant going back to school: conflict.
The answer? All of the above.
The theme of this poem is personal reflection, changing perspective, and ultimately making your world Yours instead of letting it be slave to life’s sometimes depressing attributes. It’s okay to put life on pause for a second and dive into your imagination just for a quick dip and escape reality. Whether it’s the people around you or your environment alone…Nothing can make the atmosphere detrimental, unless you let air become poison to you.
Air Makes Atmosphere
I get so sick of this place.
Feet stuck on concrete,
Gravity makes it so my soul
Hits the ground every time I take a step
To try and move forward.
And I see the same
In life, in moments, in scenery…
Tired of witnessing the same city
Over and over again.
I am sick of this place.
It seems as though people can only
Grasp ideas directly in front of them,
Tangibility being comfort,
Unwilling to go an extra mile to see what there is to be offered.
Home.
Even the enclosed space I live in
Is closing in on me.
Four white walls becoming more
Grey and stone cold with every passing second.
Prisoner to my own mind,
I’m so bored.
Dissatisfied and numb to what this life has to throw at me,
Challenge’s accepted and overcome,
The world’s overlooked how well I can catch curve balls now.
My muscles no longer flinch at conflict,
My limbs know exactly how to maneuver through problems,
Confident.
Experienced.
I’m growing up.
Instead of my mind dulling down as time progresses,
It’s starting to process.
Registering that to let age take it’s toll from me
Is a cheap scapegoat.
I wonder.
So I look everywhere else besides what’s before me:
Up.
Why is it that the best ideas come in the middle of the night?
I like to think it’s because of the stars in the sky.
Every dot, shining bright enough for our eyes to spot
Galaxies.
Hundreds of them.
Sparklingly strung about in velvet black nebula,
Like Christmas.
Each one holds a new surprise,
A new world.
What if people there are kinder, keener, and quick.
Compassion being a common demeanor,
New discoveries on the front porch of the planet everyday,
Rapid.
Surroundings only staying the same as long as the spacious sky does,
And did you know that constellations move?
Maybe the thousands of years it takes to notice from Earth
Is actually only a few hours of a day on Mars.
Maybe the vast blueness that covers everything is water too
And people live and breathe in sapphire sea grounds on Neptune.
I’d love to know what it’s like to sit on the aurora lights
And take a magic carpet ride through the thermosphere.
To feel a change in the atmosphere around me
I’m craving different air,
Because I’m suffocating breathing the inhumane vibes
That we call oxygen on Earth.
Some call air “nothing,”
Although people can only grasp what’s right before them,
They fail to realize exactly what they're engulfed in.
It's been a while since anyone has posted anything, so I decided to post this song to just encourage y'all to be WORSHIPFUL. Because there is freedom where the Spirit of the Lord is. Teehee ^__^
so, since i'm done studying for the day... I've decided to waste some time & look through some pictures. This past year (2013), we were seriously blessed. let these pictures be a testament to that. teehee as random as they are.
happy finals !! & see y'all soon <3 <3 i lahv you guyz
I really miss you guys right now. Everyone's getting so much prettier oh HAWT dang. Can't wait to reunite over break! idk why I'm so emotional right now lol, probably cuz I pulled my first all nighter. whoo not really -_-
anyways, I always see glimpses of you guys in my new college fransss haha btw, PTL for allowing us to make friends, since I honestly didn't think I would know how to make any LOLOL we've been friends for so long, and it's strangely cool to meet new people but I realized I'm really blessed to have a strong foundation of sisters back at home <3
Hope everyone's doing well spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and PHYSICALLY LOL
I am stuck here in DB. It seems like y'all are living it up, experiencing the new college life........... I have been going through a season of loneliness and it is in these times that I find rest in God and seek Him the most. I am struggling to find my joy in Him but He is opening up my eyes to the new life that I have in Him and His amazing love for me. In short, I am being broken again because those who are whole don't need His love. He is close to the brokenhearted. I pray that all of you are finding great campus ministries and maturing immensely during this season of change! just wanted to share that I am struggling if any of you guys are also lonely/struggling to find refuge in The Lord. I've found that friends, money, boyfriend, family isn't enough to satisfy me in these times and Gods love becomes more real to me. :) Praise Him in every season!
So, it's been a while since I posted. Or anyone really posted. We should use this more often since we're all separated now. :'(
I don't know if this is cool for me to post because I know you guys are going through some tough stuff, but I just wanted to encourage you guys with how much God has been blessing me these past 2 weeks.
Honestly, I didn't think I was going to like UCLA just because the "college-scene" was not appealing to me at all. After this overwhelming feeling of anxiety and uncertainty, I'm finally here (actually I'm writing this from home but I mean LA) and I just feel incredibly (for a lack of better words) happy that God placed me where he did.
I've met amazing people that are on fire for God and it's been crazy to just see how many people have a heart for UCLA. The more I'm here, the more I feel like this "greater good" (excuse my HP reference). I sense that God really has something big planned for me here and I've been feeling excessive peace and joy just meeting new people. I was scared that being in a new environment would just crush me (the introvert in me) but I feel like God has been helping me be social (sounds stupid but it's really a big deal for me). // One thing I've been feeling is this increasing heart for people and God's heart for students at UCLA. //
I don't know if this is just me being in the honeymoon stage of college, maybe it is, and I'm being foolish, but regardless of how I feel, God is still crazy. There is this one verse that talks about how God treasures the beginnings of things and wow, how relevant that has been in my life for just these two weeks.
all I do is work these days. I don't remember what it feels like to have a good nights sleep. I don't remember what it's like to just rot and relax. Feel so tired and weak. I need more of Jesus ..... and I need more rest. :(
"Thoughts Processed About Having a Relationship" - Annie Lee
NO. THIS VIDEO ISN'T PUBLIC ON YOUTUBE. Heck no.
This video is set as "Unlisted" on youtube, meaning only people who have the link can actually watch the video. Sooooo please don't go posting the link on fb or saving it on your youtube playlists or else anyone can see it...I know that you guys wouldn't, but I just have to say it for my own security. LOL And if for some reason you wanna show this video to someone, asking me first would be nice. hahaha
(P.S.) I only wrote in the description box for this video on youtube, just in case by some freak-accident someone not in BoringUs watches it, that way they'll have some explanation for whatheheck they're watching and don't think it's some sad single asian girl talking about her non-existent relationships and pet cat... LOL
Anyways, I hope you guys like this short piece! I'm still working on my other one and will probably post it when I finish, but anyway, like I wrote in the youtube description:
Shout out to all the single ladies!! God knows who's gonna put a ring on it, so don't stress. Just trust.
Sometimes, I think it'd be nice to have a boyfriend.
Someone to hold my hand when it's cold out
Or buy me things when I'm in a cash drought.
It'd be great to get spoiled every once in a while,
If not. All the time.
I believe in independence though.
I don't need someone to pick me up when I fall,
I learned how to do that when i was five.
But to have a body when I have none...would be comforting.
Even when I come to the final conclusion that
A boyfriend's not something you Google search and find on Amazon,
Not a bill you find on the street, so undeniable that you easily pick-up.
He's, for lack of better words, fate.
Or as I see it...God's plan.
Carefully designed through faith.
It's easy to picture myself sitting on my bed with my cat
As company.
But I'd like to prove the world wrong about dubbing me
"The Cat-Lady."
Easy to see how that'd stick though,
When it's just me and my Lump, lazing around on days like Valentines
And the only acclamations of adoration I receive are low-pitch purrs.
Since full-fledged faith seems to be what it's gonna take to
Get Daddy's approval for a boyfriend..
If I got one tomorrow, he might as well be a God-send.
...Cause right now my heart's far from faith full.
Flirting's never really been my forte, at least, not intentionally.
Like excessive touching.
Sentences, laced with double-meanings.
And exclusive invitations into personal space.
If these were as easy as breathing, then
I might as well be the epitome of "easy."
I've recently discovered that
I'm a bit of a romantic.
Picnics, quiet strolls, star-gazing, and long calls,
Basically, I have too high standards
To go through single-moment flings.
And too patient for single-moment flingers to fling
What they wanted to so quickly have flung already from the beginning.
But these tend to be the only types I run into
And they pass as fast as their affection's offer expires.
In a moment.
After going through these guys as quickly as I do a roll of toilet paper on Taco Tuesdays, it's pretty obvious that they're
Ships without an engine.
So why board something that's gonna take you nowhere?
So far it's been nothing but Titanics
And I'm kind of sick of sinking.
So I'll be satisfied with the ground God's given me under my feet
And keep walking since His plan doesn't call for a cruise ship's trip just yet.
But when I see passersby whose hands are intertwined
In each others,
I can't help but ponder that,
Sometimes, I think it'd be nice to have a boyfriend.
we miss you toooooooo!! we hope you're doing bunches of beautiful fun stuff in australia with the kangaroos!! post your pics up on here so we can know what you're doing :)
"God is being patient with you" (2 Pet. 3:9). And if God is being patient with you, can't you pass on some patience to others? Of course you can. Because before love is anything else: Love is patient.
first day of working at Julie's cafe! so tired. but just appreciating what awesome friends I have. Jenny took me to work at 8am today and Michelle picked me up and Annie is going to take me to the mall... who else has friends so generous?! praise God. :') <3 The Project: Acts II ended last Saturday... so many mixed emotions but won't post a final thing until our BBQ. :')
can't believe we're done... not really emotional but I'm so thankful do what God has done in our lives the past 4 years! I've been extremely blessed to walk with each of you girls on this journey. couldn't have asked for better sisters in Christ. somebody post a pic of us cus I don't have any :'( WE'RE DONE & GOD HAS SO MUCH IN STORE FOR US!!! WOOOHOOOOOO love you guys!
Friendship is a great gift. One to be prayed for and not taken for granted... When God gives you a friend, he is entrusting us with the care of another's heart. It is a chance to mother and to sister, to be a Life giver, to help someone else become the woman she was created to be, to walk alongside her and call her deep heart forth.
Captivating (Stasi Eldredge) I'm blessed to have you guys in my life. ^___^
