I Was Born In A Pirate Ship

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IG: @yourneighborssushi

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[borninapirateship]

Rants on everything Part 1

Everyday I'm alive, I notice a bunch of shit that makes me wish I'm not. It's really hard to live in a world full of dumb motherfucking people. Sometimes I feel like punching anyone for being dumb but you can't do that. So here I am, ranting. Cause what else can I do? I hope you read this, cause if you're one of them, FUCKING STOP. Here's PART 1 While driving 0. Tricycles/Motorcycles/Bikes driving around at night with ZERO lights on 0. Jeepneys who either have HIGH FUCKING BEAM or NO LIGHTS at all (there is no in-between) 0. Drivers who have no idea how signal lights fucking work 0. Traffic lights: Drivers who are fucking color blind BY CHOICE 0. CUTTING FROM THE RIGHT 0. "First Stop First Go" is a thing people! 0. If you drive slow, don't fucking drive in the fast lane. SERIOUSLY!!! 0. Texting while driving. I don't care if you die, just don't fucking drive so slowly while doing it! 0. This one's a promise: If I fucking see you leave your dog inside your fucking car, I swear on anyone's grave, I will smash your car windows (all of it), slash all your tires and probably punch you in the balls when I see you. Promise. Also, your dog's mine now. 0. Truck drivers/Jeepney drivers/Cab drivers/Tricycle drivers/Delivery guys should all get DRIVING FUCKING LESSONS AGAIN! Also, lay off the drugs. 0. If you're driving around with NO LICENSE on you, don't fucking drive like you own the road. Because at the end of the day, even if I fucking hit you, you're not supposed to be driving anyway. You still have to pay me. Problem is, most of you can't even afford to pay. Just fucking drive normal. 0. Broken brake lights (fix the damn thing) 0. Police/Traffic enforcers breaking traffic rules: ignoring traffic signs, not wearing helmets, not using your seatbelts, beating red lights, and fucking counterflowing. Why do you guys love to counterflow so much? 0. No exit means no fucking exit. If I hit you on my way in, I'll fucking break you. Learn to read signs people. They're there for a fucking reason. 0. And who fucking told everyone that if you fucking turn your fucking hazard lights on, you can park anywhere you fucking want?! Who the fuck told everyone this?! Who the fuck????

[theimpossiblecool]

“You have to die a few times before you can really live.”

Charles Bukowski.

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The official #teamstarosa ride 👾👽

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Boredom makes you think of things you shouldn't be thinking of

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I ate them all 🐶😂😐🐶😍

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Yup yup!

[sronson]

Had to take this, @the_cable_guy_, and #regram. Too good! (at Los Angeles International Airport (LAX))

[borninapirateship]

How To Kill Yourself

Have you ever wanted to just end it? Have you ever said to yourself “I’ve had enough” or “I don’t want to live anymore”? It happens.  To others, more times than we would want to admit. It used to be just a fleeting thought but somehow, lately, you’ve been thinking about it more and more. Waking up, walking the dog, taking a shower, watching TV and before going to bed.  Same thoughts. It won’t go away.  So let’s end this, shall we?

This is a guide on how to kill yourself.

Let’s start with HOW.

Oh, there are so many ways.  Let’s talk about it one by one and examine them up close.  

Slitting ones wrists.

Vertical or Horizontal?  No one’s really sure.

Left or Right? Both? Damn.

How many times? Once? Twice? Three times? Jeez.

Razor or Knife?

All that blood though. Gross. Who’s going to clean it all up?  Just think about the person whose job is to clean up all your blood. Maawa ka naman.  

Slitting ones wrists.

 Next.

Jumping off a building.

Head first or feet?  Do I do a triple loop somethin’ somethin’?  I mean, I’m going to die anyway so might as well.  On the other hand, are you serious?  I mean, why do people do this in the first place?  When I hear about someone who jumped off a building, the first thing that comes to mind is SPLAT! Not a pretty sight.

Jumping off a building.

 Next.

Electrocution via bathtub.

Toaster? Blowdryer? But seriously, who has a bathtub? And do you really want to be shaking like that while your insides burn while waiting to die – NAKED?  It’s just too much going on on this one.   

Electrocution via bathtub.  

Next. 

Gunshot to the head.

What type of gun should you use? Do you have a gun? Where can one get a gun? How long does it take to get a gun?  You need a license for that right? Ugh, nevermind. Also, SPLAT.

Gunshot to the head.

Next.

Drug Overdose.

Gagastos ka pa ba?

Drug Overdose.

After all that’s said and done.  Let’s discuss WHEN would be the best time to kill yourself.

January – New Year

People will be too busy to care because they’re all going to be invested in themselves and their own self improvement.  Sorry, no time for you.

February – Valentine Month

Everyone’s in-love or just in the mood to be in-love. Pang BV ka lang if ngayon mo pa gawin. 

March – Graduation Month

Everyone’s busy practicing for graduation, finishing their resumes and looking for jobs. And March? Nothing really happens on the month of March. 

April – Summer

Too hot to be dead.  Who’s going to attend your wake when it’s too hot outside to even do anything? No one’s going to show up.

May – Fiesta

Fiesta nga eh. Makikain ka nalang sa neighbor mo. Sayang ang free food. Let’s just check next month.

June – School year begins

Everyone’s excited to be in school. If you die, walang mag aabsent.

July – Cinemalaya season

I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t miss this for the world. If you don’t know what this is, just check it out before killing yourself.  You won’t regret going, I swear.

August – Habagat season (Linggo ng Wika din)

 It’s too cold outside. They would rather sleep than go to your wake. Or others might go to Baguio. Not everyone will be able to attend. Remember, this only happens once. You only die once so make it count.

September – Habagat season (Check August)

October – Halloween

What? Miss the chance to see drunk people while wearing funny, dumb and crazy costumes? It’s gold. No one should miss such an epic event.

November – All Souls Day (Araw ng mga patay)

Redundant. Wag nalang.

December – Christmas

Really? Just think about the presents.

Alright, now that you’ve decided when to kill yourself, let’s discuss WHY you want to kill yourself.

Are you sad?  Do you feel like no one really cares and loves you anymore? I get you. We all feel that sometimes. We all feel alone sometimes. It’s just how it is. One day, when everything is right again, you’ll realize that the people you thought didn’t love you actually love you. It’s just a feeling, it will go away. It changes. You have to realize that everything can and will change. Feelings don’t stay the same forever.  

Do you hate your parents and your life in general? Hate is such a strong word. My take on the word hate is that sometimes it’s a good thing to hate. At least you know that you still feel something. You can still change how you feel as long as you still feel it. (Feel feel feel. Puro feel.)

Do you hate the way you look and feel right now?  Just focus on the words “right now”. It’s just for right now and you can always, always change what is right now.  

Do you feel like there are a lot of things missing from your life (like a lot a lot)?  It always helps to count the things you have and you’re grateful for. It helps to remember those things and to hold on to them as tight as you can as to never lose grip of what’s real. You can always get the things that are missing right now. But you have to remember to hold on to what you have now because we don’t want to them to join the “missing file”. You have to hold on to them, cherish them and love them forever.  

So WHY do you want to kill yourself?  I want you to think about it real hard.  You can’t do it and regret it after because you’d already be dead.  You can’t undo it because you’d already be dead. You’d already be dead! Now what? It sucks when life keeps giving you a hard time.  But you have to keep one thing in mind before you actually think about doing it once and for all. Hope. Hope that things might get better. Hope that if you decide not to kill yourself today that tomorrow and the days after that, you won’t have to think about killing yourself anymore.

So I said this is about how to kill yourself. Because I know that that’s all we think about sometimes. How do I do it? How will I do it when I finally decide to kill myself? This just made us realize what will happen when we decide to end it all. When we decide to give up, what happens next? But instead of thinking about how you can kill yourself, think about what you can do to stop thinking about ending your life. It’s your life anyway. If you don’t like what’s happening now, just change it. Do something different that will keep yourself alive. Don’t give up. Suicide is for quitters. Don’t be a quitter. Stay alive.  

So if you’re reading this today, don’t kill yourself today. If you think about it again tomorrow, read it again tomorrow. Just don’t, okay?

[borninapirateship]

Manila Cab Drivers: Kings Of The Road

Driving around Manila, you will encounter all types of public transportation. And these public transportations are driven by a special group of people. A very very special group of people. They are always in a hurry (without reason), always angry (Honk! Beeeeeeeep! Honk! HOOOOY!) and always unpredictable.

 Let’s take a closer look at each of them, shall we? This will be a series of articles taking an in depth look at the public transportation drivers around Manila.

Let’s begin with my favorite: THE CAB DRIVERS OF MANILA!

Yellow, white, red, white and red, green and yellow, white and pink with letters like ZYX CABS, MGX CABS or cleverly named cabs like CAB WITH ME with a sign that says Quezon City to Any Point in Luzon. Any point in Luzon?  Realistically though, QC to any point Mr. Cab Driver is willing to drive you to. Traffic? Plus 50 please. Rain? Plus 100 because Rain = Traffic so it should be just 50 right? But it’s raining so it’s plus 100 and that’s final. Confused yet? Yup. Christmas Season? Don’t even think about it. There will be a sea of cabs but none, I repeat, none will actually stop to give you a ride. It’s actually a mystery as to why they’re actually there in the first place.

When they have passengers, they drive like they own the road. Without passengers on the other hand, it’s like following a funeral parade driving behind them. You can see their heads moving from left to right looking for passengers.

Have you ever had one of them cabs waiting behind you while you wait for the traffic light to turn green? The light says 3 – 2 – HONK BY HIS HIGHNESS CAB DRIVER me: OH MY GOD! WHAT? and finally – 1. Can’t they just wait it out before giving me a heart attack?

Signal lights are there FOR A REASON. Just in case you’re not aware, the thingy on the left side of the steering wheel has arrows on it and you can either push up or push down to signal the car behind you depending on where you want to go. So simple yet it feels like it’s the hardest thing for most cab drivers to do. 

Yes, you can and should hazard when letting passengers alight your vehicle. But does not, I repeat, DOES NOT give you the excuse to drop off your passengers anywhere you please. Just because you turned on your hazard lights, that does not mean you can drop your passenger off in the middle of the road and let 5 motorists wait until you finished counting how much change you decide to give your passenger (that’s if you decide to give the change for that matter).  THE CHANGE. The most dreaded thing about riding cabs. Cabs have meters and as far as I’m concerned, they are there for a reason. Php 40.00 is the flag down rate and then Php 3.50 for every 100 meters or so. If by any chance you have a hundred peso bill and your meter stops at Php 89.00, I’m sorry to inform you that you will also have to say bye-bye to your Php 11.00 change. If you’re going to ride a cab, bring exact change and then decide whether you want to tip them or not. They do not decide that you should tip them YOU SHOULD DECIDE. Stand your ground. Be strong. 

SAFETY.  Safety has always been an issue when riding public transportation.  We’ve all heard about it on the news.  Robbery, rape, holp-up and a bunch more modus operandi. Most cab drivers stay up 24 hours a day. Lack of sleep may most likely lead to accidents. But most of them don’t stop to rest even if they know for sure that it’s dangerous to drive around feeling like that. I once had a driver fall asleep while driving. He fell asleep and as he did that, his foot stepped on the gas pedal heavier and heavier and the cab moved faster and faster. I was so scared for my life and when I saw that he was asleep, I kicked the back of his chair and woke him up. What’s stupid was, when I got to my destination, he asked for a tip. A FREAKING TIP! I’m sorry, I didn’t know that it was compulsory to tip people who have tried to kill you ten minutes ago. Okay so, I know that it gets pretty boring to drive around all day. It’s really boring doing it day in and day out. Most cabs I get to ride normally have those suction phone holders on their windshields. One or two phone holders. The most I’ve seen is three. Three phones. One for Clash of clans, one for the taxi app and the other just for calling and texting people. It’s crazy and dangerous. Most of the time, you have to call them out so they’ll stop playing the game while driving.  

� Looks familiar? 

Okay, I have to say that not all of them are like that. I've had some taxi drivers who are actually pretty nice. They were engaging and really stand-up guys. They tell stories about their families, where they're from and basically their life. With that said, this article is NOT about them. This is about everyone else who is not like them. 

[whiskeygenie]

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Sisig

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Just passing by

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Happy Chinese new year 😃

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The universe in a  cup.