A recent in depth conversation with a close friend opened a door to something neither one of us would have imagined, yet, the more we talked about it the more it made perfect sense to both of us. I’m choosing to share it with you all since we live in a day and age where not every human out there identifies as ‘male’ or ‘female’. I truly believe, and I’ll never stop advocating for equality, that regardless if they’re a dominant or submissive, every side of them should be loved, and welcomed and cared for like they deserve, and need.
We can all agree that our world, our community has way more than fifty shades of grey. Even when sharing a kink, two dominants or submissives can be very different when it comes to how they live it or what it means to them. Any genuine partnership or relationship between a dominant and a submissive goes beyond a kink, goes beyond a label. It’s about a connection between two people.
Having said that, one of the no-brainer certainties is the submissive addressing their dominant with a title that matches the gender said dominant identifies with. Even to the most clueless bystanders the titles ‘Queen’, ‘Master,’ ‘Ma’am’, ‘Sir, ‘Mistress’, ‘Miss’, ‘Goddess’, ‘Mommy’ or ‘Daddy’ to name but a few give any person a clear image to the gender of the dominant.
To the same clueless bystanders the names for a submissive will prove to be more of a challenge; ‘boy’, ‘princess,’ ‘baby boy and’ ‘baby girl’ are all pretty self-explanatory. ‘Slut’ on the other hand can be used for both male and female submissives, as does ‘bitch’ or ‘whore’ or ‘gorgeous’ or ‘precious’ or ‘sweetheart’.
Being a female domme with a male submissive, whatever name I end up using there is no doubt in my mind my submissive is a male. But, what if, what if in the midst of a particular deep meaningful moment, whether it’s physical or emotional, or both, my sub’s mind-set were to drastically shift and he suddenly refers to himself as princess? What if in that same moment I’m addressed as Daddy?
How do you deal with this sudden change of events? I know for as fact some of you are already thinking I’ve officially lost all sanity at this point for even bringing it up. Let me assure you all, I was never fully sane to begin with. Having said that I ask you all to think long and hard on how you would react, as a dominant, or what could trigger such a change, as a submissive.
I can imagine some dominants would freak out and safe word to end all play. I can all too easily imagine some would take it as an insult and punish their submissive severely. I can also imagine some dominants would embrace this new dynamic without making a big deal out of it.
Personally, and believe me when I tell you I’m not saying this lightly, I’d embrace it, instantly.
Why I hear you ask? Why for the love of god would I – a woman – be ok with being called Daddy?
Because of the sheer magnitude of the meaning and implication this new name has, for both parties. As a dominant, it’s my responsibility to protect and guide my submissive, to care for them and help them embrace who they are inside, to bring out the best inside of them. The amount of trust, and courage, it takes for any submissive to open up about a need they probably never even knew or imagined they had in the first place is nothing short of overwhelming and humbling.
Because as a submissive, it’s their responsibility to always be honest with their dominant, to lay themselves bare; figuratively and physically and I can’t think of any other more significant way for them to do so. If this doesn’t say I feel safe around you than I don’t know what does.
Because being called Daddy is not just a sign of respect, it’s a title and tremendous honour my submissive believes I’m worthy of being and having. Make no mistake people, and I’m well aware it’s a common one; submission isn’t forced or taken, it’s earned. Submission is freely given. So many people (still) seem to forget that the real power of any BDSM pairing lies with the submissive.
I’d embrace it for no other reason than my submissive needing a Daddy figure and him meaning the world to me. And maybe it’s the tomboy in me speaking here, but being called Daddy would feel right in oh so many ways. Just like any other Daddy I’d unleash hell on any fucktard that would have the nerve to hurt my princess.
So yes, in short, if my submissive, if this wonderful boy that has chosen me as his dominant has the need for me to take on the role of his Daddy, while being my princess I will do so. Proudly, I might add.
Thank you all for taking the time to read this, and by all means, your reactions are most welcome.
PS: Even if this message will resonate with only one person, it’ll be worth it.
vaporwave
amandla
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
blakekathryn
dailybridgerton
yousharknotpass
