What I Wish I Had Said When My Mother Told Me She Had Cancer
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happy fricken mothers day
Peter Solarz
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Xuebing Du
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wallacepolsom

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Janaina Medeiros
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@bottledmoonlite
What I Wish I Had Said When My Mother Told Me She Had Cancer
---
happy fricken mothers day
life is a party
life is a party that nobody comes to
at least the ones that i've held.
i tried to plan parties for friends
but no one came
so i gave up and tried again
i tried to throw parties for strangers, just to have some fun
but they all had parties of their own
so no one showed, not one
i wished i had been invited
to a party i didn't have to plan
a couple times i invited myself
but that got me thrown in the can
in girl scouts, just 8, i tried to throw a party,
the other girls had success
i asked them to come to mine
they all had places to be, i guess
in high school i tried six times
for halloween, my birthday, and other things
but even if i made the food really cute
and the movie and games so fun
no one gave the doorbell a ring
not a single one
it's confusing to me now
people say you gotta ask for what you want
but when i tell people im so sad and alone
and i wish they would spend time with me
however they might like
in big ways or small
it doesnt matter
they say "what do you mean? look what all you've got!"
"you're so lucky! you have such good friends!"
but it's from people i thought *were* my friends
so why then am i certain
that no one would care or notice
if my life came to an end?
why do i feel like no matter the place
no one will come to me in the end?
i go to them and im a fly on the wall
or just an escape to pretend.
im alone
im alone
i cry at the sky
why did you leave me here?
life began for me all alone.
why did i even come here
and we are back
my son and my son's son.
i've been posting these on my insta so i'll put them here too. this was for fathers day, part 1. i havent finished it yet
and fuck you, in particular, my good sir.
no spoilers!!!! im barely into book one. I imagined this is right before he joins The Black, trying on the clothes that will keep him warm on long watches. I also imagine them slightly more ornate in subtle ways than the other Watchers garb, primarily due to the status (and love) of Jon's father.
little doodle from me to me. and my kitties to protect me
favorite hobonichi pages, second half of the year. I'm really happy and proud that i finished my entire hobonichi techo this year.
hobonichi from 1st half of 2024: janvier /février / mars / avril / mai / juin
hobonichi from 2nd half of 2024: juillet / août / septembre / octobre / novembre / decembre
hobonichi from 1st half of 2024: janvier /février / mars / avril / mai / juin
hobonichi from 2nd half of 2024: juillet / août / septembre / octobre / novembre / decembre
favorite hobonichi pages, second half of the year.
hobonichi from 1st half of 2024: janvier /février / mars / avril / mai / juin
hobonichi from 2nd half of 2024: juillet / août / septembre / octobre / novembre / decembre
favorite hobonichi pages, second half of the year.
hobonichi from 1st half of 2024: janvier /février / mars / avril / mai / juin
hobonichi from 2nd half of 2024: juillet / août / septembre / octobre / novembre / decembre
favorite hobonichi pages, second half of the year.
hobonichi from 1st half of 2024: janvier /février / mars / avril / mai / juin
hobonichi from 2nd half of 2024: juillet / août / septembre / octobre / novembre / decembre
favorite hobonichi pages, second half of the year.
hobonichi from 1st half of 2024: janvier /février / mars / avril / mai / juin
hobonichi from 2nd half of 2024: juillet / août / septembre / octobre / novembre / decembre
art vs. artist 2024