clownfuckers anonymous TAKE 2

Transformatron on AO3. They/Them. This is the posting blog of @bougiebutchbitch. Occasionally nsfw - no minors please.

[bougiebutchbinch]

Fuck it. You guys are getting some Ask Rules. Infractions = instablock

Blog rule in general - NO MINORS. I post horny stuff a lot.

no graphic rape scenarios in my inbox please (recovery & comfort is okay). I like dark content. I don't like being jumpscared by dark content that contains triggers for me, when I can't choose to click on it. This should not be hard to understand.

NOTHING SEXUAL INCLUDING CHILDREN Again, I can't believe I have to say that, but experience has taught me otherwise. Just. Don't. Same reasons as above.

I have numerous dx'd physical disabilities that have a significant impact on my daily life, and I also have some dx'd neurological and memory problems that have been worsening lately. Please be mindful of this when talking and interacting.

I suck at determining + remembering what is/isn't spoiler, especially as it varies depending on who you talk to. If you feel strongly about spoilers, please block me for your own sake! I will talk about spoilers on this blog!

Angry intersectional transfeminist. Genderfluid stargender nonbinary bitch who cares a lot about combatting transphobia, particularly in the context of the medical field. On this blog I might talk about transphobia within medicine in general, but particularly reproductive care and obs & gynae + abortion access.

ANON IS ON but if these rules are too much for you to handle, it will turn off.

I BLOCK TRANSPHOBES ON SIGHT.

[bougiebutchbinch]

I think Kakashi would've gotten on his knees and sucked Obito off right there and then in front of the allied shinobi nations if Obito lied promised him he'd stop chasing the Infinite Tsukiyomi

[obitobi-simp]

he was already on hus knees he would've sucked off obito right then and there if obito didn't knee him in the face

[bougiebutchbinch]

correct AND true AND real

[bougiebutchbinch]

things I yearn to write:

Lex messes about with cross-dimensional travel in the aftermath of the 2025 film, hoping to land in a universe where he has successfully defeated Superman so he can steal whatever epic superweapon he used to do the deed.

Instead, his dimension-jumper breaks.

And he winds up stuck.

In Omegaverse.

Where he is apparently an Omega (the very concept of which is almost as ridiculous as the apparent new biological rules of this world - Lex Luthor, an Omega? Him?). Living a domestic, rehabilitated, idyllic life, bonded to some boring nobody Alpha called Clark Kent.

This is bad enough. Then Clark Kent casually mentions what the Lex Luthor of this world has known for the past five years: that he is Superman. And Lex realises he is living in his deepest, darkest, Superharem nightmare.

[bougiebutchbinch]

Meanwhile, back in Lex's original universe, a pregnant Lex Luthor rocks up at Clark Kent's door and gives him the shock of his life. Now, Clark has to figure out how to cross the interdimensional barrier and get his Lex back, so as not to unleash him on an unsuspecting universe - while absorbing the ghastly truth that 1) Lex undoubtedly now knows his secret identity, and 2) there is a version of him out there who is genuinely, deeply in love with Lex Luthor and 3) KNOCKED HIM UP

His Lex is, of course, trying to decimate the ENTIRE Omegaverse in vengeance for subjecting to him to such humiliation, while destroying his so-called Alpha to boot. It doesn't matter that Clark keeps being so nice and understanding and gentle (and sad, as he faces the possibility that his Lex might be gone forever). That just makes him weaker. Easier for Lex to defeat.

...Or so Lex might think - if only he could stop drowning in torrid fantasies of this irksome, oversized, puppy-eyed Superman pinning him down and -

Well.

That's just the despicable hormonal cocktail this new universe is subjecting him to. Nothing more.

(It's gonna be reaaaaaal awkward when he finds out that his body, being from a non-Omegaverse universe, isn't nearly so receptive to all the Omegaverse pheromone nonsense, and he's actually just worked himself into a horny mess of horrified denial all on his lonesome).

(It's gonna be more awkward when his Superman reunites Alpha Clark and Omega Lex and yoinks Lex back to a nice, sane reality where no one expects him to dissolve into a whimpering, dick-hungry puddle once a year. This Superman looks at Lex like he should do - like Lex is his enemy, not his husband. Which makes it all the stranger that the fantasies of being manhandled and splayed open and ravished on an alien knot don't stop. And while Lex is so very glad to have escaped the Omegaverse - complete with information that could ruin Superman! - a tiny, despicable part of him misses seeing Clark's smile...)

(How fucking shameful. What useless, sentimental garbage. Obviously, the only thing to do about this is to contrive a shiny new plot to kill his Superman, once and for all.)

[bougiebutchbinch]

things I yearn to write:

Lex messes about with cross-dimensional travel in the aftermath of the 2025 film, hoping to land in a universe where he has successfully defeated Superman so he can steal whatever epic superweapon he used to do the deed.

Instead, his dimension-jumper breaks.

And he winds up stuck.

In Omegaverse.

Where he is apparently an Omega (the very concept of which is almost as ridiculous as the apparent new biological rules of this world - Lex Luthor, an Omega? Him?). Living a domestic, rehabilitated, idyllic life, bonded to some boring nobody Alpha called Clark Kent.

This is bad enough. Then Clark Kent casually mentions what the Lex Luthor of this world has known for the past five years: that he is Superman. And Lex realises he is living in his deepest, darkest, Superharem nightmare.

[bougiebutchbinch]

I think Kakashi would've gotten on his knees and sucked Obito off right there and then in front of the allied shinobi nations if Obito lied promised him he'd stop chasing the Infinite Tsukiyomi

[bougiebutchbinch]

y'know that iconic moment when Kakashi straddled Obito's lap in the middle of that fight and then just. sat there. for ages. while everyone was watching. I think Obito ground up against him just to be a shit and he moaned a bit by accident

[bougiebutchbinch]

I think Kakashi would've gotten on his knees and sucked Obito off right there and then in front of the allied shinobi nations if Obito lied promised him he'd stop chasing the Infinite Tsukiyomi

[bougiebutchbinch]

mama, after watching Superman with me: so.... Lex gets a redemption arc in the next film, right?

me: what?

mama: well, he was so pretty. and he cried at the end. so superman has to win him over with his kind heart, and make him good, right? That has to happen in the comics, right?

me, sweating: mama I fear you have been bewitched by Nicholas Hoult's beautiful blue peepers

[bougiebutchbinch]

me: I'm afraid he's an evil supergenius billionaire in the comics too, mama

mama, defensively: but he's so pretty???

[bougiebutchbinch]

told mama I was posting about how she had been ensorcelled by the brilliant Cerulean OrbsTM of Nicholas Hoult, and she said -

'you write those fanfic things, don't you? You should do one where Superman is so nice to Lex that Lex becomes nice too.'

skdlsdkjfldsf????

[bougiebutchbinch]

mama, after watching Superman with me: so.... Lex gets a redemption arc in the next film, right?

me: what?

mama: well, he was so pretty, and he cried at the end - so, superman has to win him over with his kind heart, and make him good! That has to happen in the comics, right?

me, sweating: mama I fear you have been bewitched by Nicholas Hoult's beautiful blue peepers

[crush-pop002]

This is what Starscream fans sound like sometimes

[bougiebutchbinch]

I am starscream fans

[fandom-hoarder-official]

[bougiebutchbinch]

I'm so glad my tags passed peer review... mama's tendencies towards woobifying pretty villains are obviously genetic

[bougiebutchbinch]

mama, after watching Superman with me: so.... Lex gets a redemption arc in the next film, right?

me: what?

mama: well, he was so pretty, and he cried at the end - so, superman has to win him over with his kind heart, and make him good! That must happen in the comics. Right?

me, sweating: mama I fear you have been bewitched by Nicholas Hoult's beautiful blue peepers

[bougiebutchbinch]

me: let's watch Superman again!

mama: the one with the pretty bald man?

me: yes the one with the pretty bald man

mama: okay :3 yay

[bougiebutchbinch]

:sicko voice: obviously if Batman beats Joker to the ground and roughfucks him while choking him out, Joker is an eyes-rolled-back drooling horny mess about it; but if Batman ever really wanted to hurt him he'd kiss him and call him pet names and fuck him softly while staring deep into his eyes

...and Joker would be so freaked out he'd be begging for him to stop within seconds because please, Batsy, this isn't funny anymore

[bougiebutchbinch]

he would be SO horrified by how much he enjoys this 'normal' affection from Bats that it would translate into DEEP disgust and loathing :3 and he would fight like a trapped rat to get away :3c and that is so fun for me :3ccc

[distort-opia]

Ughhh such a good trope. They're not entirely what you're describing and maybe you know them already, but two fics do come to mind! The first one is the closest to what you're describing:

+ Bombshell by BouncyPickle

Batman needs information from the Joker who is unwilling to provide it. He thinks of a new and unusual method to get what he wants out of the psycho. They both have more fun than Batman had expected.

+ Unspeakable Things by fractualized

Joker can handle reprehensible acts in the bedroom, but no one can know the shameful reason he keeps seeking out Bruce Wayne.

Hope you enjoy, even if it's just re-reading! @fractualized's fic is absolutely delicious when it comes to Joker being horrified of how much he enjoys "normal" affection from Bruce, even seeking it out...

[bougiebutchbinch]

Thank you for the food!!!! I will gobble with delight.

[bougiebutchbinch]

one of my favourite horny lines in a Batjokes fic comes from the unparalleled 'reptitio est mater studiorum' by @distortopia and it's

"I want you to fuck me so hard I remember my name."

like. from Joker that's. a LOT

[bougiebutchbinch]

:sicko voice: obviously if Batman beats Joker to the ground and roughfucks him while choking him out, Joker is an eyes-rolled-back drooling horny mess about it; but if Batman ever really wanted to hurt him he'd kiss him and call him pet names and fuck him softly while staring deep into his eyes

...and Joker would be so freaked out he'd be begging for him to stop within seconds because please, Batsy, this isn't funny anymore

[bougiebutchbinch]

he would be SO horrified by how much he enjoys this 'normal' affection from Bats that it would translate into DEEP disgust and loathing :3 and he would fight like a trapped rat to get away :3c and that is so fun for me :3ccc

[bougiebutchbinch]

:sicko voice: obviously if Batman beats Joker to the ground and roughfucks him while choking him out, Joker is an eyes-rolled-back drooling horny mess about it; but if Batman ever really wanted to hurt him he'd kiss him and call him pet names and fuck him softly while staring deep into his eyes

...and Joker would be so freaked out he'd be begging for him to stop within seconds because please, Batsy, this isn't funny anymore

[bougiebutchbinch]

mama, after watching Superman with me: so.... Lex gets a redemption arc in the next film, right?

me: what?

mama: well, he was so pretty, and he cried at the end - so, superman has to win him over with his kind heart, and make him good! That has to happen in the comics, right?

me, sweating: mama I fear you have been bewitched by Nicholas Hoult's beautiful blue peepers

[bougiebutchbinch]

Did you finish The Boys?

it was... eh

[bougiebutchbinch]

wait omfg i have a similar problem with azune maybe, cuz here's my thing... taliesin plays a literal talking mask that kills people to survive. okay. who cares? talking murder masks aren't real

luis plays a cop who is depicted as "fixing the problem from the inside" and showed no discomfort with his job until recently, is also sucking up to the einfasens and he's insistent that thjazi's revolution was wrong because it was violent. and that makes me uncomfortable because oh good lord those people are verrrrry real

i will not, however, be saying "AZUNE FANS WUV SUCKING COP DICK AND I AM MORALLY SUPERIOR FOR NOT LIKING HIM" because of my discomfort

LITERALLY THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

He personally just Ain't For Me, and not even for moral reasons (though I totally get why he gives some people the ick! because, like you say, the concept of a member of magical law enforcement trying to 'dismantle the system from the inside' has some distasteful real world parallels, even if Azune is far from being 1:1 a USAmerican cop!)

For me it's literally just that the quiet, brooding sadboi with a Tragic Past who doesn't really see himself as a person isn't interesting to me. I prefer assholes.

I think the only character I've ever been interested in who fits that description is Kakashi, who isn't so much 'quiet and brooding' as 'a cold-hearted child soldier who left people to die and made himself the perfect murder tool, who then absorbed his dead boy crush's personality in a desperate bid to become a vaguely better human being, while still making himself incredibly freaky and reading hardcore porn in public to try and stop people getting near enough that he can inadvertently bring about their death, due to damn near everyone he loves getting killed directly in front of him over multiple years' which is just. Far more interesting to me in every way. Azune doesn't have that extra fascination factor.

.....But again, I fully understand why he DOES appeal to others! I think Luis plays him EXCELLENTLY and although I have been known to skip through an Azune scene, I am NEVER going to knock Luis's acting or player abilities, because I recognise that just because I can't appreciate what he's doing, it doesn't mean others don't love this character! It's literally just a matter of personal taste! Not a value judgement!!!

I don't know why Bolaire haters have to keep MAKING it a value judgement. It really costs you £0 to be like 'I just don't like this character' and move on.

[bougiebutchbinch]

People can say what they wanana about Bolire but i swear some criticism of him is "Why the fuck is this Velociraptor not eating salad"

T^T trulyyyyy Tal was like 'I am going to play a character with a 'villainous' build who is working for the good of others and genuinely cares about his friends, and has suffered Real Genuine Dehumanising Trauma, but who also kills to survive and causes immense harm to those he deems as 'deserving' of his ghastly punishment'

and some of the fandom were like 'ohhhhh my goddddd I can't believe he is playing a character with a 'villainous' build who is working for the good of others and genuinely cares about his friends, and has suffered Real Genuine Dehumanising Trauma, but who also kills to survive and causes immense harm to those he deems as 'deserving' of his ghastly punishment'

Like... obviously a character like this ain't for everyone, but. C'mon. We're all adults here (or should be; this isn't exactly a kid-orientated show). We should be mature enough to speak about characters we don't like in ways that don't act as if our point of view is the only valid one in existence.

Case in point: I don't enjoy Azune. I've still tried to be - and, according to Azune fans who are my friends! - have succeeded in being, immensely respectful to Azune's character. I recognise that what Luis brings to the table just isn't for me, personally - and that is my loss! If I ever talk about him negatively, I always clarify that this is my opinion as someone who just doesn't gel with his character, but I 100% understand why people like him and that my tastes are not indicative of the character, or, heaven forbid, the actor, being a Bad Person Who Sucks and should Not Be At The Table.

Challenge for Bolaire haters to do the same.