i come with knives, to love you

multi-fandom clusterfuck, hoarder of enemies-to-lovers ships. twenty-something adult. Bruce Wayne is the love of my life. mostly Batman, mixed in with Hannibal, X-Men, Black Sails, possibly Death Note, The Untamed and Loki. I write meta and fic sometimes @distortopia on ao3. Helpful tags to be found here.

[lukebrandon]

Where's Jack? Hannibal — 2.13 Mizumono

[dateamonster]

revealing your scaring the hoes type interests early on in a relationship is a good way to secure only hoes of bravery and fortitude that will craft horrible dreams and beautiful nightmares with you

[esthermika]

[zakalwe-the-ninth]

[dailywomen]

ROSAMUND PIKE photographed by Grace Difford for GQ Hype (2026)

[cucurb]

hey guysss so unfortunately the rumors are true and im leaving the narrative. Buttt the good news is my absence will create such a gaping hole in your lives that it will become a sort of presence itself, and so in a way it will kind of be like i never left! But i am. Leaving just to be clear.

[alittlekendoll]

arousal! repulsion! arousal! repulsion! arousal! repulsion! arousal! repulsion!

[plecotusauritus]

There is always a fandom discourse about how fandom is too much about shipping and romantic love, but my beef is actually with people being too fond of the idea of a family as the purest form of love and the strongest unit.

Starting from pople tending to turn every story about siblings who are not besties into this huge tragedy instead of awknowledging that maybe, sometimes, people are not close with their siblings. Or that people are so weird about mothers.

But what irks me even more is the tendency to decide that two people who are close in canon have a "sibling coded relationship" which suddenly also means that shipping them together is wrong. Or if a character has an older person in their life whom they look up to - well that is their parent now!!!! They can't fuck their parent!!!!

There is this underlying idea that elevating characters into a familial bond is above such concepts as romantic love or sex. Which sucks because that is not what the concept found family means - it was meant to describe the queer experience of finding your people and community from outside of your blood relatives, and it was never meant to say that there can't also be romantic relationships within that community.

And it is not even always about the fact that I want to ship my blorbo with everyone who comes near him (although I absolutely do), but I think that sometimes there can be meaningful dynamics that are not about family. I want my blorbo to have friends, lovers, partners, mentors, neighbours, a trusted older person who they can call to but is not their parent.

Maybe some of this rises from the fact that family for me is something complicated and sore and not as important as my friends and community. But also the idea of a nuclear family as the pillar of society is such a conservative talking point and it is weird that people keep throwing a fit about romance and dating as societal standard but don't seem to notice this one.

[phantomrose96]

After 13 years of this, it's still funny to me that detailing a full mental breakdown on tumblr is standard fare, but posting a nice selfie is a fraught decision.

[loki-zen]

this is the correct way around and every other social media site is wrong

[hypotenussy]

the number 1 rule of fanfic is have fun and be yourself. the number 2 rule is the average healthy adult male can lose roughly 2 liters of blood before dying.

[thecharmingquirksofothers]

incredible prev tags

[bougiebutchbinch]

:sicko voice: obviously if Batman beats Joker to the ground and roughfucks him while choking him out, Joker is an eyes-rolled-back drooling horny mess about it; but if Batman ever really wanted to hurt him he'd kiss him and call him pet names and fuck him softly while staring deep into his eyes

...and Joker would be so freaked out he'd be begging for him to stop within seconds because please, Batsy, this isn't funny anymore

[bougiebutchbinch]

he would be SO horrified by how much he enjoys this 'normal' affection from Bats that it would translate into DEEP disgust and loathing :3 and he would fight like a trapped rat to get away :3c and that is so fun for me :3ccc

[distort-opia]

Ughhh such a good trope. They're not entirely what you're describing and maybe you know them already, but two fics do come to mind! The first one is the closest to what you're describing:

+ Bombshell by BouncyPickle

Batman needs information from the Joker who is unwilling to provide it. He thinks of a new and unusual method to get what he wants out of the psycho. They both have more fun than Batman had expected.

+ Unspeakable Things by fractualized

Joker can handle reprehensible acts in the bedroom, but no one can know the shameful reason he keeps seeking out Bruce Wayne.

Hope you enjoy, even if it's just re-reading! @fractualized's fic is absolutely delicious when it comes to Joker being horrified of how much he enjoys "normal" affection from Bruce, even seeking it out...

[bougiebutchbinch]

one of my favourite horny lines in a Batjokes fic comes from the unparalleled 'reptitio est mater studiorum' by @distortopia and it's

"I want you to fuck me so hard I remember my name."

like. from Joker that's. a LOT

[clownandout]

[clingyduoapologist]

Your friend’s unpublished fic idea is kind of a dead wife

[the-owl-tree]

i'll always make fun of how stupid the "born evil baby" trope is but truly it is such a wretched trope i hope it dies forever

[the-owl-tree]

it's like the perfect package of "child you are allowed to harm" and "easy way to not interrogate how commonplace child abuse is". thank goodness this child was simply born wrong, we never have to examine the conditions they grew up in.

[justslightlyconfused]

That ‘comment on your a03 work’ email hits like a line of cocaine every time. unmatched dopamine increase. shoutout to everyone who leaves a comment on fics. you deserve the world

[yaybatman]

FUCKKK

[phemiec]

The best ship is actually "human avatar of repression" X "unrepentant degenerate freak"