bovines in bedlam

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why did he say this?

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hey guys. just wanted to let you know that it is currently 11:19pm. let me know if you think this is cool, or if you hate this time of day. thanks :)

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three months on e

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went to the Watergate Water Park and got impeached :(

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if mario transitioned, it would be mushrooms

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White Boy SHOCKS Staff by Ordering in Perfect Cocteau Twins

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Geordie, it’s Marvin. Your cousin, Marvin Greep. You know that New Sound you’re looking for? Well, listen to this!

[holds phone up to Marty McFly playing “Holy, Holy” at the school dance]

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i can’t stop topping!!

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letting my homunculus order off the kids menu for its birthday

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letting my kid order off the homunculus menu for their birthday?

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letting my homunculus order off the kids menu for its birthday

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a fridge is a great entry-level appliance for those new to the fandom!!

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i heard tumblr is doing an update where they give you $1,000 for each note

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oh yeah!!!

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hello, beloved fans and admirers. it has been nearly two months since my last post, and thousands have been clamoring for my return. in my absence, i’ve been doing something nobody has ever done before… something important.

more specifically, i’ve been crafting the greatest tumblr post of all time. one could argue it is too good; undeserving of being shared. but, after much deliberation, i’ve deemed humanity worthy of such an opus. it will be arriving at your digital doorsteps tomorrow. prepare yourselves for excellence, and cherish the remaining hours before your lives are forever changed.

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i always loved the way they loved

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the speedrunning community is mad at me because i keep insisting i hold the world record for Super Mario Bros by beating it in “two shakes of a lamb’s tail”

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contrary to popular belief, i am not the author of Dubliners. that was someone else.