cuntville

bi | he/ they | legal possessor of the only correct interpretation of Dune

[boy-toy9000]

going into mahal withdrawals, need her STAT

[isoleucid]

Getting ready to kill myself because boyfriend spilled protein all over his sweaty gym shirt and now has to wash it. This is my burning of the Library of Alexandria. How should I end it? 🥀🥀🥀

[boy-toy9000]

gf crying about some "burning of the library of alexandria" after i washed my gym clothes

[boy-toy9000]

girl, if you keep looking at me with those big beautiful brown eyes you're going to make me pregnant

[isoleucid]

boy if you keep looking at me with those eyes and smile i will mpreg u

[boy-toy9000]

girl, if you keep looking at me with those big beautiful brown eyes you're going to make me pregnant

[isoleucid]

are you gorgeous bc you're lily or are you luly bc you're gorgeous

are you bf bc ur sterling or r u sterling bc ur bf

[boy-toy9000]

girlfriend just took a shower and put on deodorant, does she hate me?

[boy-toy9000]

the moon (my girlfriend) is in the wrong place (not with me)

[boy-toy9000]

why would i date someone? so they can take my keyboard shortcuts from me??? my beloved keyboard shortcuts???

[boy-toy9000]

planning a date during work, call that gay4pay

[boy-toy9000]

call me wilson, the way house is in my pants

[boy-toy9000]

top 5 saddest deaths in always sunny

5. dennis's mom - she was too cunty for this world

4. twink mac - twink death comes for all

3. frank's first kiss's offscreen death - frog kid watched his lover croak

2. 4:3 aspect ratio - it really fit the vibe

1. rum ham - rum ham

[boy-toy9000]

been getting really into making coffee. does this mean i'm nonbinary now?

[boy-toy9000]

do you guys think this will work?

[boy-toy9000]

the endless cruelty of life is in the fact that i am prevented from doing what i was designed to do (get high and listen to music) and instead forced to slave away day after day (fold laundry, do dishes, etc.)

[boy-toy9000]

sorry everyone about the whole election thing, my fault. yesterday, i wore low-cut socks with high tops instead of crew socks (bad luck). i was out of crew socks and thought my converse would look better with my outfit than my vans. i've learned my lesson now and won't let it happen again

[boy-toy9000]

can't believe i voted 15 times for nothing