Post-Nap Sweatpit

needed more time in the vat

[boylanky]

“Do you HAVE to crack your knuckles like that?”

No!

But I don’t have to wipe after I shit either.

That’s actually a rare talent of mine. A totally clean pinch-off, every time.

Thanks for your attention.

[boylanky]

I like you and your meat smells

[boylanky]

I’m not actually tall, it’s an optical illusion.

I’m just standing really close to you!

[boylanky]

You can just buy cat food!

They don’t check to make sure you have a cat

[boylanky]

When I adopted the new kitten, she was only 2 pounds.

After just one month, she is now 3 pounds!

I’m stoked for when she’s 9 years old and like 100 fucking pounds.

[disney-fundamentalist]

dying from blood loss is really up to you. how much blood did you have? i wouldve gone into that situation with more blood.

[feldfrog]

Rudolph is one of the only examples of visible bioluminescence in mammals. One of the only other ones is that time we made our weakest cousin swallow a keychain flashlight. Weakest cousin is determined annually by a series of trials

[boylanky]

Perpetually falling down the up escalator like a modern Sisyphus.

[boylanky]

which came first the chicken or the egg

The egg

[boylanky]

Great question!

You’re not just jacking off — you’re jacking in. To reduced stress, increased endorphins, and better sleep.

[boylanky]

Just got back from Chump City.

Everyone there was asking how you’ve been.

They seem to really miss you.

But they’re happy for you ultimately.

[boylanky]

I drew this mildly cursed thing, only to find it oddly motivational when I’m having a hard time.

[disney-fundamentalist]

trying to find someone who I can really Dave and Bust with

[boylanky]

I’m not long for this world. I’m kinda short for this world. Short and wide.

[boylanky]

My OC Batman villain is an Irish woman named Kat O’Pillar. She mostly commits financial crimes and has no strong opinions about any particular insects.

[boylanky]

I spit out fire, because I am allergic to fire and it makes me very sick.

[boylanky]

If I ever come across an orphan baby, I’m not waiting around to see what their “real” name is.

Ezekiel Times.

It’s E.Z. Times from now on.

Then later, when we find out the kid’s given name was actually something like “Grogu,” it’s like phew! Bullet dodged for little Zeeky Times.