bpdarlingx

Bipolar 1 | BPD | GAD | C-PTSD ADHD | SUD | AN-R | OCD

[bpdarlingx]

Welcome ❤️

I’m 23, she/her & from Australia - living with several chronic mental & physical illnesses.

This is a page to vent & express myself so I’m giving a general TW for sh, disordered eating & trauma talk.

I am professionally diagnosed with:

Bipolar type 1 (with psychotic features)

Borderline Personality Disorder

Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

ADHD (combined subtype)

Generalised Anxiety Disorder

OCD

AN-R

Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS)

I’ve been in & out of therapy since age 12, have tried every med combo under the sun & tried TMS but it wasn’t effective :(

Stay safe xo 🦋❤️‍🩹

[identitty-dickruption]

“people pleasers are all manipulative self-martyring assholes who need to get a grip” people pleasing is a pattern of behaviour that develops as a fear response because of what has happened when you’ve failed to please others. and sure this can be detrimental to being able to have healthy relationships as an adult and it should be something that is slowly worked on over time. but let’s not pretend every people pleaser on the planet is doing it because they’re sick and twisted on purpose

[fiftybbydolldress]

[lunamonchtuna]

— David Foster Wallace, from The Pale King (via lunamonchtuna)

[bpdarlingx]

I was sick with COVID, bronchitis & possible glandular fever so I gained some weight cause I was so scared I was going to get Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and like not be able to exercise at all for months- years.

My doctor gave me a meal plan and I gained close to 10kg in A MONTH. I feel tricked, disgusted and surprise surprise still really sick.

So starting Monday I’m going 110% back to Ana. 72hr fast, followed by first week no more than 500 cals per day, then moving forward no more than 800 a day and I must get 10k steps, 3 workouts and stretching in daily. I’m not working or studying atm so I’m just at home with nothing but my demented brain to torture me. I’m so sad and disappointed cause I was almost almost back to my lowest weight again.

I refuse to be side tracked or tricked into straying from my goals ever again. I promise I will stay on track Ana 💗🎀

[titsay]

it's me and my caffeinated drink against the world

[neenarchive]

me: you literally have a disorder. this is symptoms

me: no perhaps my soul is rotten

[honigimohr]

where’s my oscar for acting like i’m not falling apart

[bpdarlingx]

I have loved ones going into major surgery soon and I have to be strong for my family in the next few months & I honestly don’t know how I’m gonna do it :/

[suffering-silentlyy]

I'm scared that this is all I will ever be

[roseforviolet]

[honigimohr]

where’s my oscar for acting like i’m not falling apart

[bpdbimbo]

sorry for showing symptoms of the disorder i told you multiple times I have. Do you want me to kill myself?

[xoxohannas-world]

how dare you, my journal will be hearing about this!!

[cocainejuul]

An absence so heavy it becomes a presence

[zindabad]

i never got over it

[spoonfulofhannah]

I wish all chronically ill and disabled people a very “doctors listening to you” November

[es0tericdoll]

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧

[katcantstopthinking]

is it a red flag to say she's so me?

[kosmogrl]

the scary part about getting better is that there's this constant fear that things will go back to what they once were

[anditslove]