d e v o n
bliss lane
Sade Olutola
hello vonnie
blake kathryn
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Keni
izzy's playlists!
Fai_Ryy
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!
No title available
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
occasionally subtle
Sweet Seals For You, Always
ellievsbear
gracie abrams
Cosimo Galluzzi
Jimmy Eat World
Love Begins
PR's Tumblrdome
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Türkiye
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Indonesia
seen from Venezuela
seen from Colombia
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Iraq
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Netherlands
seen from Singapore
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Canada
seen from Germany
seen from Mexico
@bradleyfromohiowilson
yuri on ice: -wins all its nominations in chrunchyroll’s anime awards with a large majority of the votes-
salty people: this is bullshit. yuri on ice is a shit show. it doesn’t deserve anything. my favorite show is a lot better and my opinion on the subject is superior
yuri on ice:
a man nearby stares intently at his phone his game alternates between gunshots and explosion noises and cutesy girly japanese best case scenario the cutesy anime girls are killing monsters worst case scenario he is gunning down the cutesy anime girls secret even worse case scenario he is playing a cutesy anime girls with horrible bazooka shits simulator
Oh Hey, Look, I Did It (WIP - One Verse/Chorus)
I never meant to hurt you Or well I did But I thought it’d be better for me I’m a professional dick, baby But I don’t work for free So I Trash your name and get trashed myself And I Toss aside a couple paychecks worth of wealth Just to Buy some drinks for any pretty thing that comes along Nothing the jukebox had fit so I wrote this song And it goes like this [CHORUS: I fell in love for a reason, yeah But I Fell Out of it for one too, so I Might want you back next season But tonight I’m not missing you I fell in love with somebody new And you’re Some -body old so I’ll just move to the next Pretty face that I’ll miss, baby ‘Cause tonight I’m not missing you] ---insert four bars here--- And I’m Sorry I acted like an asshole to scare you off And I’m Sorry about just how well that I played the part And I’m Sorry that I’m not quite sorry enough yet Had to write this song or else your song would be stuck in my head Or else you’d be stuck in my head I like to think this helps me out of yours too [CHORUS]
A Couple Random Thoughts That Would Be Interesting If I Could Put Them Into Lyrics
i never meant to hurt you (or well i actually did but I thought it would work out better for me)
i fell in love with you for a reason but I fell out of love with you for one too so I may want you back tomorrow but not tonight
Cats enjoy imitating sculptures they see. These sculptures can be anything from common household figures to Michelangelo’s David.
cat gtiger
He strolled behind her. It was cold out and his hands felt like they were ready to fall off despite being shoved as deeply into his pockets as he could manage. She was quiet, and he was quiet, and he found himself unable to look away from her hair as it draped down over her shoulders. He couldn't look down at the smooth ice that littered the side of the street, even though he very much liked the aesthetics of it and liked even more the temptation to step onto it and feel how nice it felt under his feet, like he could glide over that small patch of ice all the way home. He couldn't look at the cute little black and white cat that usually came out to greet him at about this part of the walk and had once even followed him all the way home, which he alternated calling "Mao Xiansheng" (Mr. Cat) or "Mao Xiaojie" (Mrs. Cat) because he didn't know whether it was a boy or a girl. He could only look at her. He didn't think it was possible for someone to look just as beautiful from behind as from head-on, but she somehow pulled it off. Suddenly, she spoke. His ears stopped focusing on much of anything at all, so he couldn't tell what she said. He just knew she had said something because her head turned a little towards him and he could see the air coming from her mouth, freezing into a small cloud for just a moment before dissipating. He tried reading the words from that cloud of cold breath, as little sense as that made, and he could swear she had said, "I love you." As it was, however, he couldn't be sure and so he said, "What'd you say? I missed it." She stopped and let him catch up to her before saying again, "This is my turn," with a little bob of her head towards her house, which was just a little ways down the fork in the road away from his house. Then she added, "Your house isn't too far, though, right? I might follow you, if that's cool." He smiled and replied, "That's fine." He was happy to know that his guess was correct.
Drowning Girl (I'd Rather Sink -- Than Call Brad for Help!)
is that her? yes yes it is don't look at her don't look at her i feel your hand twitching it's my hand too y'know don't you even think for a goddamned second of waving at her don't look at her you looked at her you fucking you can fix this quick look away at like just enough of an angle make it clear you're going out of your way to look as far away from her as possible without looking like an idiot look into the empty air for just two more seconds good job keep walking darling just put your sweet lips on m- no stop no get that goddamn song out of your head right now it is no longer appropriate she's gone okay she's outside of your field of vision and therefore no longer exists object permanence is only a thing insofar as it's convenient to you friends are only friends insofar as it's convenient to you you keep friends long enough to cope with the last friend you lost and then you lose them a vicious cycle but if it's a cycle you're privy to then it can't hurt you right? once you've accepted your flaws no one can use them against you not even yourself right? so thank you for staying my friend just long enough to get over miri but for now i have a test to get to and empty air to look at (right?)
You followed this blog for poetry? Too bad. Check out this sick math problem I wrote.
In order to make sure that you have exact change more often than not, you decide to carry a handful of small coins with you. Using quarters, dimes, nickels, and pennies, what is the most combinations of change you can get using the least number of coins?
Example: Carrying one-hundred pennies would have a combination/change ratio of 1. You could have one-hundred combinations (one cent, two cents, three cents, etc.) with one-hundred coins. Alternatively, carrying two dimes and a penny has a ratio of about 1.7, since you can get five combinations (one cent, ten cents, eleven cents, twenty cents, and twenty-one cents) with three coins.
Also, please note that you are only making combinations between one cent and one-hundred cents. Three quarters and four dimes could not combine to make one-hundred and fifteen cents, for example.
Life Goes On
god is dead and i was the only one at the funeral nietzsche got an invitation but he already had plans that weekend at least that's what he told me it was starting to rain as the priest gave his eulogy looking back and forth over the empty cemetery lot pretending that i wasn't the only one there for whose sake i don't know; be it me him or the dead i had only been to a couple other funerals and it rained then too i would think it was god's will that it always rain at funerals if he weren't dead or maybe it still is? i once heard that dead gods can still dream but i don't remember where maybe nietzsche told me that too but actually i think it was from mass effect "does anyone else have any final words for the deceased?" asked the father i actually wanted to ask if god being dead affected his job at all the priest's that is but i felt that now wasn't a proper time so i kept silent we stood awkwardly for a few minutes until he turned away from me "it's a beautiful cemetery" he said as i walked up beside him he pointed to a headstone and said "that's actually my grandpa right there" i told him i was sorry for his loss and he just laughed and laughed "that's the first time someone's told me that at one of their funerals" i chuckled along with him i guess it was silly of me neither of us had anywhere to go so we got lunch at waffle house after that at some point in the conversation he sighed and said "ob-la-di ob-la-da life goes on" and that stood out to me for some reason i invited him to join my friday night poker game it made nietzsche upset to add him though he felt that after god left he would be the best player there but the priest was actually pretty damn good ob-la-di ob-la-da
An Open Letter to Someone Different
i googled your name and after a couple pages of the same three videos repeated several times (i'm only 100% sure you were even in one of those three the other two might've just been look-alikes) i found your myspace y'know from before you were a porn star (which is to say before you were in a minimum of one and maximum of three videos) it looked just like the stock page that my first high school crush had (nowhere near the level of professionalism that my page had) sometimes i find it weird to think of celebrities and remember that they have like actual lives outside of being a celebrity and yours - your actual non-porn life that is - is weirdly so obvious and yet so unbelievable i mean of course you had a life before porn and of course someone who's been in three(?) videos has a life that's like 99% unrelated to boning but like that's crazy right? that you're watching a real person doing all that? (i can't tell if that makes it better or worse the wanking experience that is) you were some actual person with a generic myspace page that needed money or just thought it would be a fun thing to do or some other reason that i can't even think of because i don't actually know anything about you (the other ten or so people in that video are also just people but i never really think of them in the same way maybe because they didn't have myspace pages or maybe because you were hottest) do you end up regretting something like that? do you not even think about that anymore? ("it's a thing i did once" you tell the man you met on okcupid as you eat at the mexican restaurant across the street from the theater "i enjoyed myself then but now it's in the past") i feel like if i asked a comment on that myspace page one just asking "who the hell are you?" that you would answer "someone different" and then i'd ask "different from what" and there would be no response (one time a friend asked me "how much of what you say is real? and how much is just some act you put on for a joke?" and i didn't know the answer i'm not sure what that has to do with this but i felt it was at least marginally appropriate)
what if every god in every religion exists
like egyptian, hindu, and greek gods alike are all chillin on some clouds
and since every deity has something to control in the mortal world they get into fights on whos turn it is to do the job since there’s more than one
“Helios it’s my turn to rise the sun”
“Ra for the last fucking time you did it last week”
#disney what are you waiting for
#oh fuck no disney stay away #aaay hbo where u at
fukn someone stole my idea >.> i call bs
Next to Godliness (Work In Progress)
Chapter 1
Once you stare at someone for long enough, you start to get used to how radiant their eyes are or how flawlessly glowing their hair looks and you start looking at other seemingly less important things that would feel weird to try and explain.
This was all that Justine had typed up after about half an hour of staring back and forth between her girlfriend laying on the couch across the room and the blank Word document she had opened. To her side, she had stacked several of the books that were within arms’ reach from where she sat down to write after pointlessly catty-cornering the first page to make note of what their opening lines were. The Metamorphasis was on the top of the pile and, iconic as it is, she couldn’t decide whether or not she liked its opening line. It was a book about a guy who turned into a bug one day, and the opening line was essentially “One day, a guy turned into a bug.” It was either brilliant or stupid to her, and neither one helped her write her book because she still didn’t know what she even wanted it to be about. You would think that becoming a literal god would have helped inspire something, but she was a realist at heart and typing out what happened to her and her friends just sounded fake.
Oh, yeah, she and her friends became literal gods the other month. That might have been important to mention earlier. I’ll get to that later, though.
In the meantime, she called out to Kai, who was tossing a baseball at the ceiling to fill the room with a rhythmic series of thumps. Kai looked over to her wordlessly, some of her hair falling over her face, which she didn’t bother pushing aside. “How does this sound to you?” she asked before reading off the bit she had written.
Kai smiled, catching the ball and holding it against her breast so that the room fell suddenly silent for a moment before answering. “I like it,” she said, “I have to assume I’m the flawless goddess you’re describing there, yeah?”
“Yeah, you are.” Justine couldn’t tell if she used the word ‘Goddess’ on purpose or not, considering they really were, but she didn’t ask.
“Well…?” she continued, holding the word for a moment as if it were a question. She sighed and continued when Justine just looked at her in confusion, “What are the seemingly unimportant things? Inquiring minds want to know.”
She blushed a bit, not even considering that Kai would ask. “Well, uh…” she stammered, “I mean, I said it would feel weird to explain.” She didn’t like that she was so obviously caught off-guard by the question, so she quickly tried to turn it around and get the last word. She added with a grin, “If you really want to know, you’ll just have to wait for me to finish writing.”
There was a groan followed by the continuing thumps of the ball. “Oh, boy, I only have to wait another century.” This comment stung a bit, and Justine could tell from the cheeky gleam in her eye that Kai knew it. The exchange did remind her that she had to continue writing, though, so she made a mental checklist of her girlfriend’s more unique features and started typing them down:
“Her mouth looks almost tiny when placed upon her jawline, which is deep and round. This, combined with her jutting cheeks, give her the appearance of always having dimples even when she isn’t smiling as she usually is. All of her teeth are glowing except for one of her top molars, which is inexplicably darker than the others. Plus, I’m not exactly sure what it is that makes eyebrows good or bad, but I am sure that hers are probably amazing. Her body is thin in a way that makes her look much taller than she actually is, even though she is short enough to tuck her head against my breasts when we hug. Even as I was sleeping one night, she crawled onto the couch beside me and nestled herself between them with her legs tangled around mine. She breathed against my bare skin as she just said, ‘Justine… I’m cold.’ When she fell onto the hard floor in the middle of the night and pulled me down with her, she laughed harder than I had ever heard from anyone.”
After reading over it a couple times, she changed the name from ‘Justine’ to ‘Justy’ because she remembered that the nickname was the one Kai had actually used. She then changed it from ‘Justy’ to ‘Claire’ because she remembered that using her own name was incredibly tacky.
She figured theirs was a classic case of opposites attracting each other; for one thing, she felt, Kai was pretty. Kai was petite and thin, and she was big and… well, big. It was easy for her to describe Kai in all her glory, but whenever she’d try to picture herself she’d just think of the most basic things as though she were rattling off a grocery list. 22-year-old white female, short dirty blonde hair, 6’2”, somewhere around 200 pounds, bread, eggs, milk, etc. She figured that she could be non-descript about herself for the purposes of whatever story she’d end up writing, even though she wasn’t sure if the “non-descript main character for people to insert themselves into” trope still worked if the story is about lesbians. After all, logically, how many people reading any given story are going to be lesbians? Then again, this, of course, infers that people would be reading her story at all.
Thankfully, she was torn away from this thought process by a phone call. Kai looked over as she fished her phone from underneath the papers littering the desk to stop the blaring alarm that whoever designed it called “The Day Before” and the group of friends all called “Oh My God, Please Shut It Up.” The screen read ‘Judge’ and she fiddled with it for a moment to turn on speaker.
“Hey, this is Pete,” the loud and nasally voice of Pete Judge filled the room, alerting the two girls to its owner’s identity even though they both already knew fully well who it was. Kai waved and said hello back. She clearly knew that waving accomplished nothing because she didn’t even wave towards the phone, instead opting to wave at the ceiling. Judge continued to speak as Justine just sat in silence and let the conversation take its course without her, “Oh, great, Kai’s with you! One less person to call. You two need to get up here. We’re having an early meeting. Alright, thanks!” He hung up without her having to say a word, which was par for the course with him. He never texted anyone even when it would be logical to do so. By the time she stuffed her phone in her pocket and looked over toward the couch, Kai was already gone. She followed suit, setting her computer aside and – I’m going to say teleporting, even though I, having been a god myself for ages, am not even sure myself how the process works or how accurate that is – teleporting to the realm of the gods.
---
Justine appeared before the Gates, grand and shiny, crafted from solid gold and standing over fifty feet tall. She saw Kai strolling through them toward the Germanic offices and rushed ahead to catch up to her. The Gates were always just called the Gates since they were created after the end of the last God War. The Greco-Romans once wanted to rename them to the Gates of Olympus, to the chagrin of Yahweh. Yahweh himself then wanted to rename them to the Pearly Gates, to the chagrin of everyone.
No matter where you teleported from in the human world, you always appeared in the same spot in front of the Gates and you could only return to the human world from that spot. There were regulations against how long you could idle around the Gates after an incident where two tried to enter the realm of the gods at once and literally exploded. Gods, it turns out, are surprisingly frail. They can’t even handle a little bit of molecular-level physical breakdown. Not that it mattered anyway, considering a good 90% of the gods had never even traveled to the human world once. It was too risky and ultimately fruitless, especially considering that after the Great Reform there were inter-faith laws against performing supernatural feats in front of humans. The Great Reform was basically a mutual agreement between all the gods that it was better to keep everyone’s existence a secret from the humans at large than to reveal everyone at once and risk more chaos than there already was. It was the treatise that marked the end of the war. I, personally, was not a fan. That’s not to say I condoned war among the likes of Mars (whose motives should be obvious, really); it’s just that the alternative was politics, and politics is boring.
This brings me to the backstory of why a group of random college students were now Germanic gods. Forgive me for interrupting the young romance to talk about myself for moment.
I quite like superhero stories. Immensely powerful people using their strengths to vanquish evil and make the world a better place. It was in essence was godhood could have been like if the majority of the holy pantheon weren’t self-centered bureaucratic dicks. (I admit to being a self-centered dick, but at least I wasn’t a bureaucrat.) That was why I decided that, if I wanted to break God Law anyway, I wanted to make my own superhero story.
I went to the human world and tracked down a group of friends with personalities that I figured would make an interesting dynamic for a superhero team, and I mustered up all the miracle juice I could to give them powers. It didn’t take them very long to realize what they could do and start fighting crime just as I had hoped! I followed the five of them around for about a week, tracking their adventures in vanquishing bank robbers and other crime in the Seattle area. There was the de facto leader, Judge, who I aptly gave physical invulnerability and an incredibly strong gavel that the team affectionately referred to as “Mini-Mjolnir.” (As they would soon know Thor personally, I found this rather amusing.) There was James Spader, the joker with the ability to manipulate all language however he saw fit. This power wasn’t particularly useful in crime-fighting, of course, but he did far more with it than I could have ever imagined up myself, which made me proud. There was Seth Highridge, who had the ability to control the minds of people he spoke to over the phone and could also teleport to the location of any phone. Last but not least, there were the Wonder Twins, Justine Mattel and Kailani Hall, who had almost complete control of time and space. I cannot stress enough that this is the kind of reality-bending power that all the other gods would be capable of if they weren’t buried under their damned (or should I say holy) paperwork. It’s a shame, really.
Now, as I said earlier, I only followed them for about a week. This was not due to any boredom on my part, since I was quite enjoying this still. Oddly enough, it was the five of them who got bored. The typical thugs and robbers who they fought grew too easy for them almost immediately. It became a job to them. I didn’t want to just have their saga end and I knew that my crime would be found out and punished if I returned to the god realm, so I came up with a plan.
The first step to this plan was to appear before them in my full grandeur. Speaking to them telepathically, I summoned them to the Space Needle one stormy night. “Who are you?” Judge shouted, readying his weapon as I appeared in a flurry of wind before the five of them. Naturally, I didn’t have to appear like that at all, but I have a bit of a flare for the dramatic.
“Me?” I said with a sly grin and a chuckle, “I am your god!” The five of them stared on in awe as lightning crashed around me. I continued, “I gave you your powers, which you have been using to even greater potential than even I expected! Sadly, however, I’ve noticed that your typical brand of foes are growing too weak for you to feel properly challenged... Surely, you have also noticed this! You must be growing bored, which is why I am going to do you a favor and create a villain more powerful than you could ima-”
It was at about this point in the monologue that they killed me. In retrospect, perhaps nigh-unlimited control over time and space was just a touch overpowered.
It didn’t matter for much longer because within the next hour they were brought to the realm of the gods, where they were placed on trial. Really, though, I was the one being put on trial. Such a flagrant disregard for the laws of the Great Reform was unheard of, and all the religions were in a tizzy over it before the humans informed them that they had killed me. There was an uproar. “You killed him with powers he gave you? Ridiculous! He’d either have to be stupid or suicidal,” Odin cried. The killing of a god by a human was unprecedented for millennia, but an old law about the situation was dug up and a decision was eventually reached by the courts. The humans would have their superpowers revoked, but the five of them would officially become gods, taking my place and filling all of my responsibilities among themselves.
Of course, they didn’t really kill me, as I had already been planning to fake my death before that conversation started. I couldn’t return to the realm of the gods or use almost any of my powers without someone finding out where I was hiding, so I was basically human. A nearly omniscient human, but a human nonetheless. Humanity, for all intents and purposes of this story, is as good as being dead. All that was left for me was to sit back and keep track of what all my efforts had accomplished. Appropriately enough for a human, I’m typing this recollection of those events on a regular computer, sitting in a regular Starbucks, and drinking a regular caramel macchiato. They’re pretty good, to be honest.
The barista did roll her eyes when I placed my order under the name “Loki,” though.
Noble
you wanted me to write something for the blogi came up with this title before i wrote anythingi figured it would be cheekylike"whoooOOOOooooOOOdo i mean noble like your name?or noble like brave and courageous?the world may never knowwhooOOOOooOOOooOoOoOoo"but then as i sat down to writei realized i didn't have anything cleverly ambiguous to sayabout youand/or about nobility in generalso i guess i'll just say this: i missed youand there's a part of me that i guess still misses youbut i tend to ignore itbecause i know there's nothing particularly brave or courageousabout still fearing the void created by someone's absenceafter they've returned
So I’m in this improv club right we’re doing this show called the Night of Random One-Acts and me and another guy are on the club’s ad committee and this is the flyer we made for the show
I’m really proud of it
I'm the other guy from ad committee. I felt like this was poetry enough to justify being on this blog.
...k
Have you ever tried Reversing a Phrase to Extenuate meaning Beyond the Phrase, you go to college right? Ether way, I don't care if you understand me You're college trash and make your parents pay for your shit and weekend pot, go make 'em proud sonny Truth is in the beholder, not from you friend I'm not afraid of anything
You are no longer in this group
i thought about texting kyle this morning the draft is still in my phone but it died before i could send it it says
"This may seem a bit out of left field, but next time you talk to Miri could you tell her that I'm sorry again, y'know, for being all-around awful? You don't have to add anything else. Just keep it at I'm sorry. I doubt she wants to hear anything more. I doubt she wants to hear even tha"
i just have to add a period and a t (not necessarily in that order) and then press the "OK" button it's big it's in the middle of the phone right smack-dab in the middle it would be hard to miss three buttons
so then i went to starbucks to charge my phone and i had a skype notification it was just there to say you were added to the skype call the one i was in the other day and then i was promptly kicked out i was asleep there was no reason to suspect i would suddenly join it but i was kicked out for safety i guess? maybe it's a sign of some sort "no brad don't press t and then period and then OK" i can't really tell though i've always been kinda bad at that
the man on the bus turned to me and he said "do you ever wonder how like when people die and when animals die they smell but have you ever seen a dead bug?" i looked at him a bit confused "there's a cricket on the back of my toilet" he continues "that's been dead for months and i don't know how he died or how he got on the back of my toilet but he did and the weirdest thing to me is how ain't no one try to eat him or anything and he don't smell like nothing at all" i ignore him turning back to my laptop but a part of me keeps mulling it over the poet in me tries to turn it into a metaphor tries to give it meaning are we not all just bugs after all? if i die would anyone recognize if not for the smell? what if life is just the back of a crazy guy's toilet? but all in all sometimes a cricket is just a cricket and sometimes a toilet is just a toilet not everything has meaning i sigh i wish it had one because if it did have one i would have looked so smart for coming up with it i would have had the sense to put it on the internet instead of just rambling to a guy on the bus about it sometimes life isn't fair
