"Why do I run?" This is a question I often get asked and often find myself asking as well. What started out as a simple answer and reason, "Because I think Marathons are stupid." has turned out to be something much greater. Take a small walk with me, and I'll do my best to explain. I've only procrastinated for almost 1.5 years on writing this post, so I'm sitting down at a Starbucks across the street from our hotel in Boston to finally pen my thoughts. You'll learn the "initial" reason why I ran to begin with and more importantly, you'll learn the "real" reason why I run now.
So, it's true, I do honestly believe that "Marathons are stupid". However, in order to make such a provocative statement, especially depending on the company I'm in, I decided that I needed "Marathon Credibility." In order to get Marathon Credibility, one needs to run a marathon. The race I would gain my "credibility" would be the Dallas White Rock Marathon on Dec. 5th, 2010. While I trained to run a 4 hour marathon, I usually ran a little faster at the end of our long runs, so I had mentally thought I would run a 3 hour and 30 minute marathon. Two days before the marathon, I was talking about the Boston and New York Marathon with my friend and fellow training partner, Trevin Fugere.
"What makes Boston so special or different," I asked naively. Trevin explained, "well you have to qualify based on your age. For us, we'd have to run a 3 hour 15 minute race." If I was only going to run 1 marathon to get Marathon credibility, then why not leave it all on the line on the day of the race? I went home and discussed this with Tricia (the Ying to my Yang and the true voice of reason) who proclaimed, "That's stupid. Why would you want to jeopardize the last 4 months of your training and possibly blow up on the run and not finish." I replied, "Go big, or go home" and decided I was simply going to "go for it." I went on to run a 3:10:47 that cool day in December. I did it. I qualified for the Boston Marathon.
So here I am, sitting in Boston, preparing to run in the 116th annual Boston Marathon tomorrow.
Originally, running because I thought "Marathons are Stupid" seemed to be funny and a way for me to get a rise out of people. While I still believe this to be true, what I've found out is that "Running is really a journey." With each progressive "long run", you have "more" time to think and to focus. I can honestly say "running" has brought clarity into my life and allowed me to take a break from the multiple distractions we find ourselves confronted with everyday (work, technology, people, Facebook, etc). When I run, I'm able to dial in to what is important to me and what is not. This applies across the board to people, places, and things.
For those that know me and know me well, you know that my emotional quotient runs high. I'm passionate about life and incredibly passionate about the people in my life that have influenced me and support me in so many ways. When I run, I'm flooded with memories, both good and not so good, and it motivates me and powers my run. Just like an automobile needs fuel to run, I'm powered by emotion. I'm powered by memories. I'm powered by what's important to me to take the next step and the next. A great friend of mine has taught me how to have "Forward Focus" in life; however, I can't help but peer into my rearview mirror and reflect on notable things that have happened in my life to get me where I am now. There is a balance of the past and present.
In July of 2009, I received an e-mail that rocked me. It's one of the few e-mails that I've read over and over and over since I had a terribly difficult time understanding the message. The message came from the Director of Alex's little soccer club. The message stated that we had lost 2 members of our soccer family. One of Alex's teammates and his mother had passed away in a car accident. The baby girl was in critical condition and had been life flighted to the hospital. As my heart sank, I immediately thought of my friend and Father of the loved ones in the accident. While we attended the funeral and I hugged my friend, I saw strength and humility in someone that I've never seen before to this degree. I saw a degree of faith much deeper than I've ever been able to to comprehend in my life. I saw someone that had been dealt a an unfathomable blow and was keeping it together better than I could ever comprehend.
When I'm pushing through fatigue, when I'm pushing through pain, I'm reminded of my friend, Russ, and always realize that I'm pushing nothing compared to what he has pushed through. Absolutely nothing. I'm pushing air, not the weight of the world.
It's at this time, that I think of my friend and his beautiful little daughter. I think of his beautiful wife and angelic son. I think of Tricia. I think of Alex. I think of Addison. I think of all of the things that mean the most to me in this world. I think of all of the reasons I should take the next step, the next breath, and most importantly keep moving forward.
Dedicating Tomorrow's Run
I'd like to dedicate my run tomorrow to Russ, Piper, Klein, and Kavari Gray. I will run in honor of them. Thank you all for being part of my life and bless each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart. Russ, you are the strongest person I know. When I am weak, I think of you and you provide me strength.
I can't thank my own family, friends, and colleagues enough for their unwavering love and support in my life and training.
Tricia, Alex, and Addison you mean the world to me. Thanks for being my biggest fan and support team. Alex and Addison, one day you'll look back and all of this will hopefully make more sense to you than it does at this moment. It makes me happy that you all can share in this experience with me.
To my family, in-laws, and Mungo thank you for understanding when my energy levels are low, my mood swings (yes, I'm well aware :), and always being there for me as well. Your support means a lot to me.
To my friends/colleagues, thanks for the phone calls, e-mails, SMS, and Facebook posts. You all put a smile on my face and fuel my positive emotion. I'm thankful for having such great friends in my life.
Thanks to my coach, Chris Strait, who has kept me on track the past few months and given me a plan to follow and some great advice.
They say "Life is a Marathon and not a Sprint." Tomorrow, we're going to embrace this to the core.
One last day/night to mentally prepare for the heat, the pain, the suffering I will endure tomorrow, but most of all to think "positive" and keep pressing forward even when my body wants to contribute no more. Running is every bit as mental as it is physical. Physically I am strong. Mentally I am stronger. Absolutely no question and no doubt.
Lastly, I am third. I always do my best to put God first, my family/friends second, and myself third.
This journey is coming to and end, but it will set the stage for a new one to begin. Such is life.
Time to cross this 26.2 off the list and move on.
