No monkey business
In which: your first kiss with a girl
🧸 - no smut, just kissing!
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You listened to the rain bang against the window infront of you. Your desk cluttered with annotated books and sheets of paper. The only light in the room coming from your computer and a candle at the edge of your desk. Your right hand lingered by the book, tapping your pencil against the thick paper trying to come up with a paragraph to write.
"And this part meannnns.... and this would lead to.... therefore...." you mumble out the start of sentences, trying to form any inspiration to put in this god forsaken essay.
I need a fucking smoke break
The dark sky is scattered with small stars and the fields in the distance cradle trees, the leaves twirling in the wind.
A knock at your door sounds. You wait to listen out for either of your parents or brothers to get the door. Nothing. A second bang at the door. Still no family movement
Such a useless family
You traipse over to the front door, pulling at the neck of your hoodie and flicking the hair out of your face. A quick glimpse at the clock near the door reads 1 am.
School in the morning holy fuck. Who could possible be at the door.
You creep the door open to be met with a familiar face, "Mikayla?" you scrunch your eyes at her silhouette.
"Oh yeah, nice to see you too" she grumbles, eyes low. She stands tall in your porch, her hoodie decorated with raindrops, brunette mullet messed up from the wind, moonlight reflecting her pierced eyebrow. She looks tired yet, even with her exhausted demeanour, she still towers above you. Craning your neck up at her, "what the fuck are you doing at my door at 1 in the morning?"
"Couldn't sleep"
"What am I gonna do about it im working?"
"Holy fuck just let me in and stop complaining grumpy"
You swing the door open and gesture for her to come inside, her little white car parked horrendously at the front of your house.
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She lays sprawled out on your bed, playing on her phone while you continue trying to type this essay, pressing every key with no pressure as your body gives out on you.
"Yo smart girl, when are you gonna be done" she complains from your bed
"I don't know, I can't fucking think of anything to say"
"When's it due" you hear the deep bass of her voice get closer as she stands behind you and peers at your computer from over your shoulder.
"Like Friday"
"That's like 3 days away, look at it another day when you're not tired" her voice is quieter now, nearly a whisper. Her tone gentle.
Why is her voice making my chest thump? I've known this girl for ten years and never felt as pathetic as I do now.
You groan and get into your bed, under your covers and fumble for the tv remote.
"Do I get to pick?" she appears next to you in bed, sat against the headboard, fidgeting with one of your stuffed toys
"No. And watch that monkey, she's very precious to me"
"I know, I'm being careful"
"Fuck do you mean you know?" you let out a laugh at her.
"I saw that cute picture of you and her hanging up in your living room" she sarcastically replied, raising her eyebrows at you
"Oh my god. You're never coming to my house again"
"Oh yes I am, you can't hide your snap maps from me and I will be asking your parents for more pictures" she scoffed next to you. You snatch your toy from her, resting it on your chest and scrolling through movies. Good Will Hunting.
"You're kinda like the guy in this movie. Smart without even trying you know"
"I basically failed chemistry what are you on about"
"I mean with like politics and English and stuff. You just know stuff."
I mean, I guess yeah?
You let the comment sit in the air. Weird coming from her, she's never normally genuine with you, you've never clocked her to be an observant character.
"Oh goooood chat then" she breaks the silence of time passing, looking over at you. You don't really know what to say. She shows up randomly at your house, gets comfy in your bed, acts normal, joking around, pays you a weird compliment. It's all so freakishly bizarre in such a sweet? way.
Your voice is quiet, nervous to ask anything in case she laughs in your face, "Why did you come here tonight" you turn to meet her face. Her eyes are dark and she furrows her brows slightly, you can't read her face anymore. All the years you've known her, reading her expressions had become a second language but now, you had lost the ability.
She shrugged, glancing at the TV but relaxing her chest, sinking further into the backboard of your bed frame, "I just wanted to be near you... I don't know".
You both sit in the quiet of your room, the hum of the movie in the background. Your eyes can't leave her. Her joggers and hoodie still damp, the woody smell emanating off her engulfs any scent your candle could've provided as she became the overbearing presence in your room.
Her tone almost grumpy in her reply, as if the question was invasive or hurtful. "You just don't normally do this, that's all"
"I know" her responsive was quick, sharp.
"Sorry" you grumble in reply.
"I don't know okay? The past couple weeks of school I've just wanted to see you more often"
"We're together at school everyday Mikayla, what do you mean" you had a suspicion of what she was trying to convey but wanted her to say it directly to you, no reading between lines and dancing around intent.
"I know but it's not the same." Her vagueness irritated you, there was a heavy contention in the air that you knew she was aware of too. Just because you had spent years learning how she worked didn't negate the chance that she had done the same for you.
"You're not an idiot, cmon. You know why I wanted to come here"
It was pretty obvious to you. As much as the night may have attempted to conceal it, the rosey blush on the apples of her cheek told you enough.
I've never been like this with anyone before, let alone another girl. I wouldn't know what to do or say.
As your mind raced around, attempting to think through what she wanted from you, she seemed calmer, wrapping herself under your covers and taking her hoodie off. You hadn't looked at Mikayla properly before, at least not in an appreciative sense. Her shirt clung to her arms slighter tighter than anywhere else, the muscles in her arm filling any possible space in her sleeves, the waistband of her joggers low, a sliver of her boxers peeking out, and her necklace rested on her collarbones, barely visible under the v-shaped collar of her shirt. Her scent broadened after she took her hoodie off, her scent had never normally intrigued you, had never felt notable - apart from today.
"Hello" that unfamiliar, familiar whisper returned. She was once again facing you, you were resting on pillows, slightly flatter on the bed as she sat more upright against the backboard next to you. "Hello" you responded, accepting your position in this ambivalent game she was attempting to create.
"Are you nervous?" she asked. The question came nearly out of the blue, you had both teetered around some weird feelings but it felt like her words drew a big red circle around the dynamic between you. I guess you were nervous, you had known her for a while, seen her with other girls. And she had known you, known you to have never been with girls.
"A little" you whispered. The forced vulnerability brought upon you made you uncomfortable, having to address feelings and admit them all in front of someone who had only ever been someone to joke around with was daunting.
"Would it be worse or better if I kissed you?" Her eyes hadn't left you since the moment she drew that red circle in the room.
Better. It would be a lot better.
The question tore into your chest, your heart plummeting. A weird amalgamation of excitement and dread. You could only let out a timid nod and giggle of nervousness in response. She didn't hesitate, her eyes softening - she truly could read you just as well as you could read her.
She rested on her arm, leaning in towards your face and cupping her hand around your cheek. A staggered breath against your face, cold but like a drink of water on a warm day, a vital comfort. Gently, she pressed her lips against yours, carefully waiting for you to lean into her before applying anymore pressure, your hand made its way into her hair, bringing her closer to you.
You could feel her lips curl into a smile against yours as you matched the way she breathed. Your heart racing inside of your chest, trying to balance the feeling of her skin on yours while the thumping in your ribs pressed against your bones. Every movement of her thumb circling your cheek felt like a reflection of you heart against your bones, inextricably she had linked herself to you.
Her lips moved slowly against yours, her hands flicking from on her face to into your hair, grabbing pieces away from your face. She traced her lips around your mouth as you methodically matched her every move. She tugged at your hoodie, bringing your chest closer to hers. Her lips pressed firmer into you, the both of you letting the others lips crash against your own, messily colliding and often giggling at how fervently you both locked lips. Every so often she pulled away from you slightly, glancing from your lips to yours eyes, smiling at you before lightly kissing your bottom lip and then returning to her intense pining to have her skin and lips against yours.
She eventually pulled her face away from yours, maintaining that piercing eye-contact you had become so accustomed to over the night. Your eyes meeting hers no longer felt like a friendly remark but like a profound, odd entanglement of the both of you as something more.
She let out a smug, cheeky smile, probably watching you try and hide your shaking hands under the covers. "Are you serious?" she laughed.
Oh my god. What have I done. What now. This can't be a good sign.
"What?" you panicked
"You're still holding that fucking monkey toy mate" she covered her face with her hands, laughing to herself at your distressed grip on your stuffed toy. You looked down at your hand, nearly white-knuckling the toy in you grasp.
"Well duh, I told you I had to keep her safe" you finally felt the relief of the nerves pass you by and let yourself laugh in time with Mikayla, rolling your eyes at her.
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