pissposting

Blumiere (Blum for short) | they/them ze/zim/zir | my stupid oline diary | yknow what fuck it send me DMs | very much 18+ I'm explicit like that | lol I struggle with mental issues so get ya ass prepared <3(%^&*

[brainrot-yumm]

What's up this is my comfort character collection

- Count Bleck > Super Paper Mario (my all-time favorite)(I kin this loser) - Dimentio > Super Paper Mario

- Halfsie Harriet > Odd Squad

- all the main characters of my dumb trashy YA novel collection

- Laurice Deauxnim/Larry Butz > Ace Attorney - Miles Edgeworth > Ace Attorney

- the entire Addams family, the live-action versions only - specifically Lurch tho :)

- the entire Nikki Up2U mobile game series - Ashley and Lilith > Shining Nikki - Jax and Yuka > Shining Nikki

- Berdly > Deltarune

- the entire game of Inscryption

- Sun > FNAF Security Breach

- Mephistopheles > Faust Yes literally for some fucking reason I latched onto a demon from a religion I don’t follow. I don’t know why either but I’m currently actually reading Faust just to justify this random ass connection

- the entire 1966 Batman Live-Action TV Show Featuring Adam West and Burt Ward - Joker > LEGO Batman

- Bowsette but MY version of Bowsette 

- Jonathan Taperecorder Sims > The Magnus Archives

- AZ > Pokemon XY (genuinely my fav pokemon character ever and I’m so excited to see him again :D)

- Petey the Cat > Dogman (this guy might start being a second kin to me and I will be so genuinely upset if he does cause it’s just a self-roast after a certain point) (. . . it’s a second kin FUCK-)

also cause I think it’s funny to say I’m currently sapphic, quoiromantic/grayromantic, agender, taken, and a monsterfucker lol

Eheh

[icantspellthings]

Top 3 things people love insisting they don't have despite it being impossible

Pronouns

An accent

Bias

[brainrot-yumm]

is it euphoric that I started looking through a teen girl magazine and suddenly got a pang of "this will never be me, I'll never get to be a girl" even though I'm AFAB and trying to go on T? Is it dysphoric? Is it just 5 am?

[brainrot-yumm]

Maybe it's the simple fact that I will just not get to ever accomplish the biggest goal of my life: to experience everything.

It's not a big part of my life, that I ever really feel bad about everything that I'll be missing out. But I do mourn it occasionally. I will never experience childbirth, even though I would love to rear one simply out of scientific curiosity on what it would do to my body. I was considering surrogacy for a while, getting to grow a parasite in me and then watch along its growth into an adult as the cool auntle (my enby version of aunt/uncle). But I'd rather transition before it becomes illegal. so my bloodline will end with me.

In the same vein. I was a teen girl. But I also really never was. I was a traumatized enby in a teen girl's body, and by the time I started to see this body as mine, I was beyond teen years. And I'm not even close to really accepting this body as mine still now. It'd be really interesting, in that sciencey way, to have actually been a teen girl. Just like it would have been really interesting to have been a teen boy. Or to have been pregnant. Or to have surrogated a child and been their auntle. To an extent, I hate that I'll never get that. All I can do is live every day and try as hard as I can to feel it. And hope that I can live as many days as possible, or at least as many as I desire. That i can life long enough to tell my stories.

Between watching DWP2 and PHM, my mind is currently obsessed with valuing every single day that I have in this world. Maybe I'm trapped in a flesh body that makes no sense, but it's mine.

Love you.

[brainrot-yumm]

is it euphoric that I started looking through a teen girl magazine and suddenly got a pang of "this will never be me, I'll never get to be a girl" even though I'm AFAB and trying to go on T? Is it dysphoric? Is it just 5 am?

[brainrot-yumm]

realizing I'm gonna have to be researching Mario fish for a joke in my Mario fanfic... Yeah alright I guess this can be my life lmao

[brainrot-yumm]

why are my characters being so stupid, Luigi are you really pulling this shit now??? I have to change major plot points cuz they won't stop pulling stupid shit T_T

[brainrot-yumm]

realizing I'm gonna have to be researching Mario fish for a joke in my Mario fanfic... Yeah alright I guess this can be my life lmao

[brainrot-yumm]

alternating between my DnD session and job hunting while on a break from tearing my apartment apart (moving out in 2 months) in a swimsuit bikini top (testing for outside compatibility - results conclusive [absolutely not without waterproof fashion tape]) and high heels (training myself with the end goal being learning how to walk distances in stripper heels purely because I want that power) and kicking myself for not buying a jar of pickled banana peppers which I found out 2 days ago I actually really like.

[brainrot-yumm]

batman returns time cause I FINALLY found a DVD of it after like 6 months of looking

Yeah this just SCREAMS Tim Burton from music to props

Bitch just got ratatouille'd

oooh diva

ALFREDDDD

All of these businessmen (specifically Max) are main characters and also insane

it's just poison ivy again :/// nerdy outcast to sex bomb why'd they do this twice

hey it's Lego Batman

Alright dark deception

The reflection signal shit is so camppp

This is Batman this time?? Ughhh WHERE'S MY FAVORITE WHORE VAL KILMER

God I do love all this carnival stuff tho

Oh boyy... batman looks like a 6 year old in that suit. And I hate that he can't turn his fucking head

THE EMERGENCY U TURN FROM THE 60S okay I respect it

I paused for a second I'm back now that catwoman scene is LOVELY. Specifically the house scene after too. Maybe they've made her character only about men but that was a beautiful feminine rage/identity death moment

also I really like penguins character as only really wanting his identity known. But man is this really just Batman and Robin again huh. Sympathetic ice based man and nerd turned madonna woman

i do like Keaton's voice for this, and I will always respect a bitch who does the classic "batman mode = customer service voice" thing

Oh man do I love Oswald's silhouette.. his character design is lovely

classic autism encounter

it's three types of autism talking to each other

Okay -_-

Dude I'll kill him (seeing the 30 thousand rubber copies of suits)

"eat floor. High fiber."

The neckkk 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

Man this Batman has been nothing but a wash he's done nothinggg

Are we going to see selina fall 6 more fucking times in this movies

On a side point tho I feel quite bad for selina. All she ever is is fucked over

I got distracted and watched the rest of it it was good :D

(the fucking. Rubber ripping headdress off was ASSSS though WHY did they DECIDE on fkn gmod-physics-to-turn batman costume waaaahh)

[brainrot-yumm]

i think its so interesting that a theme that has consistently come up in my stories is making slice-of-lifes about the after. Here's a group of people chatting, and only a couple glimpses of the adventure hell they went through together. Want the audience to be confused about references to the full lives they had right before this moment could actually occur

[brainrot-yumm]

my white boy organs... How dare they betray me once more........

[brainrot-yumm]

let us see what the not-sober blumi has to say today (edible tiiiime)

[brainrot-yumm]

I did a beginners pilate yt routine while waiting for it to kick in and I think it literally just hit because now I'm all limber and worked out and just in time for my vision to start staticing as if I'm going under anesthesia. All loose for it too. In a nonsexual way. I feel like I'm going cross-eyed when nothing is actually changing. heehee

[brainrot-yumm]

stood up to go do laundry and got hit with the pressure spike and fell back down again. Honestly that was fun tho, it interacting with me not being sober led to it feeling like how I imagine transporting locations in a 2d animation would feel

[brainrot-yumm]

just cried while at a graduation celebration event because I'm so deeply embarrassed of how little I did at this school. I watched everyone else show off art they made that has so much value, and I didn't really do anything. I just coasted, I didn't try. I feel bad that people cheered for me. I essentially just doodled for a while and called it a demo reel. I was supposed to do more, I wish I did more.

And like. Yeah I put effort in, but most of the time it wasn't for the right stuff. Storyboards and comics of cringe shit, fanfictions, music for drag performances. And I can't regret it. But it doesn't feel like stuff that will get me the future I want, just silly stories I feel like telling sometimes.

[brainrot-yumm]

also I honestly do not give a single fuck now after some time to process

Everything that I described putting effort into is explicitly the stuff that I care about and cherish with my life. It is explicitly the stuff that I love. Cringe shit storyboards fanfics drag routine mixtapes is EXACTLY why I wanna be alive. Color and cringe is what defines me as a person, and I refuse to kill that due to insecurity and comparison.

"Silly stories I feel like telling sometimes" is literally the main goal of my life and idk how I forgot that. I wanna tell stupid nothing stories until the world and I decided to commence the final duel and see who drops first. Professor Spear was my first ever persona and it was exactly just who I wanted to become as an adult

[brainrot-yumm]

let us see what the not-sober blumi has to say today (edible tiiiime)

[brainrot-yumm]

I did a beginners pilate yt routine while waiting for it to kick in and I think it literally just hit because now I'm all limber and worked out and just in time for my vision to start staticing as if I'm going under anesthesia. All loose for it too. In a nonsexual way. I feel like I'm going cross-eyed when nothing is actually changing. heehee

[brainrot-yumm]

let us see what the not-sober blumi has to say today (edible tiiiime)

[brainrot-yumm]

just cried while at a graduation celebration event because I'm so deeply embarrassed of how little I did at this school. I watched everyone else show off art they made that has so much value, and I didn't really do anything. I just coasted, I didn't try. I feel bad that people cheered for me. I essentially just doodled for a while and called it a demo reel. I was supposed to do more, I wish I did more.

And like. Yeah I put effort in, but most of the time it wasn't for the right stuff. Storyboards and comics of cringe shit, fanfictions, music for drag performances. And I can't regret it. But it doesn't feel like stuff that will get me the future I want, just silly stories I feel like telling sometimes.

[brainrot-yumm]

im making an autobiography about my abuse that is 100% made up of the shit I wrote in middle and high school, all of my creative escapisms.

The thing that's been really resonating with me is just how much I didn't want to die. It's everywhere. In confessions in my diary. In suicide -attempt- letters to be shown after I failed, in video scripts only meant to be created a decade later when my abuse didn't consume me. I wanted to live and recover and be happy.

I didn't want to die, but I was in sooo much pain, dysregulated, out of control, lashing out, addicted to self harm, with my brain BEGGING for me to die. That I genuinely felt more obligated to kill myself than anything. I didn't think I could get better, and I thought continuing to live and hurt people was more selfish than dying. I just wanted to stop hurting people, and being stuck in high school in a place where I wasn't allowed to move on and with no support group but other children who were struggling just as badly as I was... I thought the only way to stop hurting people was to die.

And thankfully I didn't end up dying, even when I was sobbing over how much easier it seemed. And it turned out the only way to stop hurting people was to keep living, and keep growing, and keep fighting, and take baby step after baby step. Until I'm here. Where I hurt people, but only really the way life tends to go about it, and my desperation to self-regulate via punishment is a lot lesser. I still struggle with it a lot, because I still have an infinite amount of baby steps to take. But it's less of a big deal.

[anglaised]

that anon bringing up doechii is making me giggle bc thats actually who should be getting all of that girls fame and adoration like. doechii was actually from the mud….like real life….most of doechiis hate mobs r due to misogynoir…and while misogyny is deff at play with miss roan theres clearly a diff between ppl calling u annoying as a outspoken white woman to ppl accusing u of being a sexual abuser as a black woman for not liking cats….like black women automatically get more extreme hate and accusations specifically bc of being black