i came, i saw, i dissociated

psychosis and mood swings and dissociation, oh my! ravenclawkohai's brainweird sideblog schizoaffective | bipolar | bpd | ptsd

[louintotheocean]

The neurodivergent experience is talking about your brain as if it's a separate entity from your self

[angiethewitch]

yeah and it's a BASTARD

[schizocassandraoftroy]

No doctor will ever get my respect like the woman in the ER who checked me for claws and fangs because I told her I was turning into a werewolf and could feel it and let me know gently that she couldn't find any but that didnt make it feel any less real, like THATS how you do it, other doctors who just flat out told me I was wrong take notes

[schizoalienboy]

This is how you treat us!

[anais-ninja-bitch]

i am reblogging this as someone who does not have delusions and often makes shitposts about werewolves, and i just want all my followers to know this is not a joke!

i am so glad you had this positive experience, and i hope this sort of kindness catches on with doctors and the general public.

[rosslynpaladin]

Look when someone is in a confused or compromised state, no matter why,

and they are your medical charge,

it is vital to continue to treat them with dignity. Like that. Reassure them with visible practicalities that you acknowledge their fears, will not belittle them, and can show them facts to help them cope.

THAT is the proper compassion of a Healer.

[yellow-lemon-lime]

Can I just add that, if you like me have delusions where everything bad that happens is your fault, the doctor shouldn't be like "Yeah, you're probably right" but try to reason with you in a respective way. OP's doctor did it right, but some of the notes make it look like people think delusions must be agreed to always, when doing so can be detrimental to the person's wellbeing

[schizophrenicfordpinesmoved]

This is my favorite addition to this post because it’s true. When dealing with delusions you need to avoid the extremes - DO NOT tell the person flat out “you’re wrong”, “thats not real” or worst of all “you’re crazy.” BUT DON’T ENCOURAGE THE DELUSION EITHER! Let’s take my werewolf delusion, for example. Doctors who have flat out told me “that isn’t real” haven’t helped because for me it is real and no amount of you saying it isn’t will change my perception. It makes us feel alienated.

But someone saying “You ARE transforming into a werewolf but i have a poition thatll stop it! :D” is just as dangerous because you’re furthering a delusion which could get someone hurt. its also manipulative. we’re psychotic, not children.

So what DO you do? Acknowledge that the situation is frightening. If possible, give them the objective facts (ie, i don’t see any monsters; your mom hasn’t said anything to make it seem like she’s going to kill you) while also acknowledging that for them, it is real. Most of all, ask what you can do to keep them comfortable and safe.

Sorry for the long addition but when I made this post it didn’t occur to me apsychotic people would look at it for advice on how to handle an actively delusional person. I’m glad it’s resonating with people, though

[rudeflower]

i spent the previous 5 days in a mental hospital bc my brain does alarming things sometimes

on one of my last nights, I was being assessed by a nurse who I had met like 2 hours ago and she asked how my delusion (that I knew was probably wrong but still found compelling) that I was in another universe, or that i was in my home state was going

i was like it’s going strong thanks for asking!

she asked if i’ve had recent stress and i said not really, and summarized the past few weeks including important projects at work, visiting family, and a significant problem with one of my employees. 

she gave me a look of COMPLETE DISBELIEF and said “you’re a supervisor? is that for real?” 

i said “yes i’m the director of a program so I have–” 

“what? is that for real? are you sure that’s real?” 

HEY GUESS WHAT 

HEY GUESS WHAT

HEY GUESS WHAT SHE SAID NEXT

“do they know you’re in a mental hospital?” in a tone that suggested they would be way uncool with it 

i responded that yes they did and they were very supportive, and it would be illegal if they weren’t

if mental health professionals treating us believe were are categorically incapable of holding the jobs we want, of leading the lives we want, where the fuck does that leave us 

other patients had asked “what are you going to do now?” when i referenced having job, and were surprised when i said i wasn’t getting fired. And i know why, I know that multiple people at the table with me had lost jobs in the course either before or while they were there, and it was just the most recent of many. they weren’t okay with this, but still considered it the way things just go. 

we internalize this shit

i hope i’m repeating a message you’ve seen all the time, and i hope it’s not arrogant to hold myself as a case study. i am a young professional who lives alone, has 2 jobs and is very nice to be around most of the time. i have bipolar 1 with psychosis and severe OCD. do you want to be linkedin buddies? 

and even if i weren’t all these things, i would still have inherent worth and dignity and not have to earn the right be understood as a person capable of many things who should be in our world 

[anxietyproblem]

[be-pd]

*expresses a reason i’m upset* oh god im being manipulative aren’t I

[lumberjackloverboy-moved]

I am not loveable ‘in spite of my disorder’. my disorder is a part of me, a part of who I am, and if you cannot love me with it I do not want your love in the first place

[everythingstarstuff]

[kaedien]

boot up, Bitch

[awfulbear]

Boot up, Bitch!

[stonesibare-deactivated20190331]

MOOD! #2019goals

[manynamedshe]

“Boot up, bitch!” is an affirmation

Y'all better take that energy into 2020 and stop playing

[theeeprotagonist]

#BootUp2020

[jadedsoggy]

in case anyone thinks this means “toughen up” Those boot covers are tools. those spikes aren’t an inherent part of the boots your friends, your family, meds if you need them, therapy, healthy life changes when you can, these things are your boots get your boots on and climb those stairs at your own pace, aka: Boot Up, Bitches! We’re making 2020 the year we recover

[silvysartfulness]

Thank you for that last addition. I always disliked the flippant nature of this post, but that’s a really good take.

[ruffboi-mags]

reach out, accept help, be honest with your loved ones, and use every tool you can get your hands on to add some spikes to your boots while you work your way to the motherfucking top

[bigsueclaus]

1. Never Been Kissed - Natalie Wee // 2. Jenny Slate // 3. Elegy - Chen Chen  // 4. The Pisces - Melissa Broder

[humor-is-coping]

[ttrajeudi]

me: wants to be healthy and recovered 

also me: actively enjoys self destructive behaviour

[cloudruler-old]

someone being a jerk: i have depression okay????

me, who also has depression:

[dhero-moving-deactivated2020102]

the amnt of cruelty ppl with no/low empathy are treated with so casually in social justice circles is fucking disgusting lmao.

heres ur reminder empathy only means the ability to see yourself in another persons shoes or the ability to literally feel what they do. doesnt have anything to do with kindness.

and wow a lot of autistic people have low/no empathy as a symptom and there's literally nothing wrong with that. (im a low empathy autistic. theres even hatred towards low empathy autistics in the autistic community bc of everyones apparent lack of knowledge of what empathy even means and how casually everyone throws the word around.)

empathy is a neutral trait, you can be kind without it and a piece of shit with it. im so tired of ppl equating empathy to kindness and the lack of it to cruelty. its ableist garbage. im tired as fuck.

[autisticmight]

i have hyperempathy, and i can’t agree more. whenever i see someone complaining about people with no empathy, it just baffles me

i’m living proof that empathy doesn’t mean that you’re kind or compassionate. we have words that mean “kind” or “compassionate”, and they’re not “empathy”

if i see someone getting hurt, my brain won’t go “oh my gosh, i need to help this person,” it goes, “oh my gosh, that person is in a lot of pain, i’m now also in pain, i’m going to need to curl up in my bed for a few hours when i get home in order to cope with this”

when a teacher got momentarily irritated at other people in the room with me being loud, i was filled with fury for a good while after, even though i was previously fine. it didn’t make me want to get everyone to calm down. it just meant that i was angry even after he was fine, because i picked up on his emotions

kindness is not a synonym for empathy. i’m sick of people treating it as a virtue, rather than a neutral trait

[1-glitter]

Me, two minutes ago: *intense feelings*

Me, now: *no feelings present. unsure if there were ever feelings*

[memes-to-show-my-therapist]

some asshole: taking psych meds is too dangerous! it will change the way your brain works and you won’t act the same!

me, gesturing grandly at my collection of chemical imbalances and destructive coping mechanisms:

[brainweirdkohai]

“shifting your leg back and forth so the big ass scrape on your leg gets aggravated and stings doesn’t count as stimming”

AND WHY NOT????

[brainweirdkohai]

anyway it’s horseshit that I am infinitely more afraid of being found out as schizo-spec than I am of being found out as trans/enby/queer. I never deny the latter at work, but will lie at all costs about the prior. even in today’s political climate in america, given I live in a blue state, I know that my bosses at least will be afraid of the consequences for discriminating against me for being LGBTQ. I just also know that there is a very solid chance I would lose my job for being schizo-spec. I was terrified to admit to being bipolar at the initial physical where they aren’t supposed to share any details with my bosses and that doesn’t even have negative connotations quite as bad. I shouldn’t have reasonable fear of losing my job over my completely controlled mental illness. I shouldn’t have to carefully screen everyone I know and wait months before risking telling someone and always expect they’ll run screaming. I shouldn’t be afraid to admit to symptoms with people who didn’t run away out of fear of the “you’re crazy” eye or that they’ll slowly pull away once they know the details.

anyway I’m drunk and indignant over the state of how we treat psychotic folks how are you

[brainweirdkohai]

see the problem I have with repetitive hallucinations isn’t the hallucinations themselves, it’s when I have to doubt the routine for some reason. shadow people don’t freak me out when they’re at the corner of my eye but disappear when I look, but I lose it if they’re still there when I look, or even worse, if they stay and then start to move. I don’t care about feeling bugs on me all the time, as long as when I look, there isn’t actually one there. so when I look and there IS one I Will Freak.

because when I know it’s just a hallucination, it’s fine, I don’t have to doubt anything, I know it’s just my brain. but when I can’t be sure if it’s real or just in my head then reality itself feels shaky and I just fucking hate it