Am I the only who has genuine AM levels of hate for this little fucker? Like, I'm sure you probably dislike him, but it goes deeper than that. Whenever I see a snail in real life, I have to restrain myself from stepping on it because it reminds me of this anti-homeless annoying ass bastard. And I don't wanna spoil Act 3, but if you've played it, you know why he sucks there even more than Act 2. But I hated him far before I came close to unlocking the quest for Act 3. Every single time I enter Songclave to check on my friends Sherma and Garmond and buy stuff from that dirty cheapskate Jubilana, I would hear a sound that filled me with a burning rage. Groal and his tribe think they know of hate? The hate they feel is a singular speck of sand floating through the wastes compared to how my blood burns with white hot fury whenever I hear "OI! OI! OI! OI! OI!" SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I'LL SHOVE THAT HOOK SO FAR UP YOUR ASS, IT'LL RING AGAINST YOUR SHELL! It's bad enough this guy is anti-homeless, anti-refugee, and his first line of dialogue is him complaining that he'll have to help people who have been abandoned by the government, and he somehow has the nerve to say "This is YOUR problem now, because I'll be damned if I have to do any work helping these needy depressed people!" I'm sorry, do I live here? Last time I checked, this was your bell, and you could have put a sign in there telling me not to ring it if you really didn't want it rung. But it's not enough to be a spitting image of the next Republican primary, no no no. He has to beg for my attention the second I step foot in Songclave. I guess he just doesn't know any social cues, because while I'm trying to talk to Sherma, or while I'm in the process of making a purchase, he doesn't stop nagging me. "OI! OI! OI!" Are you fucking five? I learned waiting my turn to talk in fucking kindergarten, where were you, you lazy unemployed fuck?! What even does he do? He's called Caretaker, but I do not believe that he's actually taking care of Songclave. If we're being real, it's all Sherma, Garmond, and that crook Jubilana. Hornet has much more restraint than I would, because if I was talking to my friend Sherma, after he just went through a very traumatic experience in Whiteward, I'm trying to check up and see how he's holding up, and this slimy old curmudgeon was just yelling for my attention, oh he'd get my attention alright, he'd get the attention of my fuckin volt vessels, get hollow purple'd bitch. I highly doubt that there's anyone who likes this guy, but weirdly, I doubt even more that anyone hates him quite as much as me, and I haven't even mentioned the Act 3 shit. Let me put it this way. In my ranking of every Silksong NPC, Kratt is only second to last. Not because Kratt has any redeeming qualities, but because CareFAKER is that much worse. Yes, I hate Caretaker more than the sex offender who charged me money so he could peep on me. Do with that what you will.
Anyway, here's a very real photo that I found of the Caretaker with two close associates and long time friends of his, just trust me it's a real picture