a stone with a branch

my blerg and personal blog (any art I reblog is not mine)

[o-fantasma]

by the time u’ve finished reading this sentence twenty seven innocent words will have been absorbed, suffocated, and killed by the warm embrace of ur Understanding

[blackpyrefly]

it's hard being a polyamorous action hero because whenever i have flashbacks to all my dead wives it takes like 20 minutes to get through all of it

[3liza]

it kind of sounds like youre just feeding local women to the deadwife montage

[mint-swirl]

clown event still possible

[kaijuno]

[redstonedust]

im not much of a christmas guy but if anything bad happens in the last 2 weeks of the year my entire self is like "youd do this to me???? in the christmas season????? when im just a little christmas boy???? a christmas boy in my christmas season???? but its christmas????"

[hazard-symbols-that-fuck-hard]

holy shit

[robustcornhusk]

seen coming home

[door]

i love my cat she’s so normal

[maidling-deactivated20260401]

suigintou from tumblr

[maidling-deactivated20260401]

like a doll to a suitcase with a padded interior

[hbmmaster]

namesakes of temperature scales and how real they sound:

Anders Celsius: yeah sure that's the name of a scientist I'll believe that

William "Lord Kelvin" Thompson: there's something really british going on here with that title but I suppose it checks out

Dan Fahrenheit: literally shut up

[cerastes]

Scary mother fucker who uses the default color for his fighting game main

[cerastes]

If I am playing Ranked SF6 and my opponent is a white gi red headband god's own no tricks no gimmicks Ryu at Master rank, that's Ted Bundy.

[jay-auris]

The problem: you are Michael Bublé, it is 2011 and you would like to make a Christmas album. Your producers want you to sing the classic Christmas song "Santa, Baby," but if you sing it as intended, it's gonna come off as, like, super gay

The proposed solution: you will rewrite the lyrics to the song to imply a platonic friendship between yourself and the man in red, making Santa a real bro who's gonna help you get laid by some hunnies, with cool, masculine gifts like a steel blue convertible, a yacht and tickets to a Canadian hockey game

The reality: the combination of the eroticism of your voice and the inherently sexual vibes of the song means you create a story about a closeted gay guy desperately repressing his desire to - as the kids say - fuck that old man, no homo'ing your way through asking him to trim your tree, promising you'll be such a good boy if he treats you well, and begging him to slide down your chimney

[demonsystems]

WORM

🪱🪱🪱

HAPPY

[angelfish-777]

[elodieunderglass]

I hope this swordfish finds you well

[sailermoon]

sometimes when I’m being especially self deprecating and convinced no one likes me I have to tell myself “you’re being goob. you are being goob right now”

[sailermoon]

[dinraal-remade-deactivated20221]

*sees a landmine* eh what the heck *steps on it and explodes*

[anchovy]

[stitchposts]