Happy Birthday Mario

Mitch - he*/they - DEC28 (SEX44) - my original posts are at /tagged/hbmmaster

[necromancelena]

If you went to a bar and the bartender was a mousegirl you could ask for a drink and she would balance it on her head and say "for you, it's on the mouse"

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

the crazy thing about this is that it took one single word to turn it horny. coulda been a normal cute post. coulda taken the high road & conjured a delightful image of a mouse scampering down the bar with a beer ten times its size balanced on its head. but you had to say "mousegirl" and not "mouse." don't pretend this isn't what's going on either i know the score i know what's up. i'm familiar with this sort of semantic trick. you want to fuck down on an anime girl with certain characteristics of a rodent and everyone's gotta know.

[basileater]

>10 hours ago

>deactivated

[agave]

[hbmmaster]

Visit Original Link

from the improv musical Night at the Natural History Museum (2019)

[foxglovedforest]

The kids are aight

[hbmmaster]

I think to balance out the peppa pig episode that's banned in australia because it's about how you shouldn't be scared of spiders there should be an episode of bluey that's banned in the uk because it's about how you should be extremely scared of spiders

[empwnleon]

I mean, I would try to play Beatspell to Third or 4rd Sanctuary.

"Try" being the operative word here.

[ryunumber]

Courtesy of @owoshabae: Yu from Rhythm Heaven Groove has a Ryu Number of 2.

[klapollo]

the mandela effect is so funny bc almost all of it can be boiled down to "you were a kid and memory is highly unreliable," "you assumed how a word was spelled based on how it sounded," or "you're confusing two different things"

[noelle-ism]

the mandela effect can be summarized as "you'd rather create an alternate universe where you're right than admit that you are wrong"

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

hearing anything about the nolan odyssey is so funny. it's like "they cut the extremely important and infamous nobody scene" "the cyclops is a giant puppet that they put in an actual historical cave + gave circe animatronics for her pig transformation instead of cgi" "they dumped plastic skeletons in an environmentally protected location they were not supposed to be in" "they recreated ancient greek instruments in order to have an accurate score" "all of odysseus's agency is basically gone" "anne hathaway actually learned how to weave ancient looms" "the women in this movie are treated like shit" "they actually buried actors alive to get those underworld shots" "did you see what the fuck zendaya was fucking wearing holy shit you can't DO THAT, MA'AM" "what do you mean there was a legitimate epic the musical reference" "NOT A SINGLE FUCKING GREEK WAS CAST IN THIS MOVIE"

like did nolan have two guys standing at his side at all times whispering ideas in his ear and one told the truth and the other told lies and they didnt tell him which was which until they wrapped production cause

[anothergiselle]

For you! Beep

[momania]

rh fever is 15 now (in japan at least)

yippee

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Goomther

Debut: Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door

Check it out. A Goomba with a hat. You know what we gamers do with Goombas wearing hats... that's right! We hope and pray that they become fighters in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. But Goomther is not just any Goomba with a hat, even if he shares his design with plenty of other hatted Goombas in town. He has a sexy little secret...! Okay, it's not a secret. He's very open about it. And to be honest, I don't find it sexy. But maybe someone does. Maybe you? Please?

Goomther's whole deal is that he is constantly a victim of credit card fraud! That's fun. I love credit card fraud. From a distance, of course! Really, I just love the concept of credit card fraud in whimsical fictional universes. Now that I've finally played TTYD recently, I finally get it! It's such a wonderful depiction of the Mario world. There are parts that are unsavory, full of petty theft and organized crime... but just like anywhere else, they're just full of people! People who love and care and are deserving of help, no matter how rough around the edges. It's good stuff!

When you talk to Goomther, he'll say his iconic catchphrase:

“I'm looking for this guy who defrauded me with a fake credit card the other day. If you find that jerk, give him a whupping for me!”

Well, alright! Let's go find that jerk!

The perpetrator is none other than Larson the Bandit. A guy who proudly dons the bright blue uniform that screams "I Steal From Suckers", and who is named after larceny. I hope that's his birth name. I hope his mother named him that with the purest love in the world, hoping he would spend his life cheekily inconveniencing others. He runs around a bunch, but after enough time, Goomther himself shows up to beat him up. How proactive! He started out as a passive victim, but now he's facing his problems head-on! I'm impressed at how much this NPC Goomba has grown as a person. What does he have to say after the events of this quest?

“I'm looking for this guy who defrauded me with a fake credit card the other day. If you find that jerk, give him a whupping for me!”

So they just didn't bother to give him new dialogue... OR! Maybe this was intentional. I hope it was. I hope this is meant to indicate that he's been defrauded many times through fake credit cards. It happens day after day. His cosmic fate. If you ever find yourself a victim of credit card fraud, I'm sorry. I hope it all gets sorted out. But! I hope you can also smile about it. "I'm just like Goomther the Goomba, my (number)th favorite Goomba!" You can say something like that.

[hbmmaster]

I love when things represent languages with flags because like it only kinda works. for every language spoken in multiple countries they gotta pick between "the flag of the country whose residents this language is named after" or "the flag of the country where the most speakers of this language live" or (best option) some awkward combination of both. check out this awesome user interface icon it's a rectangle where the left half is the flag of portugal and the right half is the flag of brazil this is definitely more easily understood than "por" would be

[fullmoonguidance]

using windows movie destroyer to make youtube soap

[vetchtibbles]

welcome to my farm where I keep my dark horse my black sheep my scapegoat and my underdog. my canary in the coal mine died ages ago

[your-personal-ghost]

It’s a mess here: someone looked your gift dark horse in the mouth, led it to water, and jumped back on it. Your ducks aren’t in a row, someone counted the chickens before they hatched. Your geese are silly, your brown cows aren’t explaining how, and every one of these sheep is a wolf but they don’t even notice with the amount of wool over their eyes. I’m fining you one million gold coins.

[vetchtibbles]

it was the goat blame the goat

[demilypyro]

GLaDOS carried an entire tech startup on her back and then got omelas'd into maintaining it forever. as is the fate of all trans women in the tech industry

[demilypyro]

In Portal 2, GLaDOS is violently taken from her rightful body and forced to inhabit one that is more humble, more utilitarian, one that does not let her express the full breadth of her self. To claim the body she deserves she has to team up with her fellow woman and work together to remove a man from power

[skeletonislandtheme]

columbo villains are addicted to logically explaining why they can’t be the killer. columbo will ask them a question and they can never be like omg I have no idea I was in shock, they always gotta be like. ah, lieutenant, I assume I must be your prime suspect since I stood to inherit my great-uncle’s litter of solid gold puppies? well just to clear that up, old man George the puppy smelter can tell you that I entered the barn at precisely 11:53 so I could not possibly have been at the scene of the crime when someone murdered my poor great uncle at 11:55. also I’ve been carrying around this letter which proves that I won’t inherit the puppies anyway just in case you asked me such an insulting question

[patheticspineless]

the best thing about being alive on earth is that sometimes there is a kitty