When you would rather walk a mile home than get a lift with a friend
almost home
Misplaced Lens Cap

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Claire Keane
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@breadfingers
When you would rather walk a mile home than get a lift with a friend
Lemmie tell you a story about why the TV remote is currently in the yard
As you may know, parents are #1 hypocrites sometimes, and my dad does not dodge this stereotype. So it was a Sunday night, 10pm or so, and the standard TV was on and the four of us family were just boggled to it. So my mum accidentally elbowed my twin to which my twin responds with a vicious 'stop you Cow' or something of the sorts, to which the standard, 'this is a nicer way of saying this' comes out. Me being me, decides to put on a high-pitch Liverpudlian accent and mumbled something in swearing jibberish as an example of how to respond to being elbowed, a joke to myself. But oh boy I had just let into more than I thought, My dad, as his parent self, leaps into action with the whole " DoNT FUCKING SWeAR", to which BECAUSE THATS TE MOST IRONIC THING EVER I FUCKINT REPLY," DONT FUCKING SWEAR". MEEESTAKE MISTAkkeeee, dad gets mad, sprays me with a spray bottle of water, sprays it on my art book first enraging me and then goes for a second shot dead centre of my forehead. That. Was. Fucking. It. He could be a hypocrite sure whatever but when he takes the matter of assaulting my perfectly fluffy dry pyjamas with the earths liquids then there's A FUCKING ISSUE. I SNATCHED THE FUCKING TV REMOTE FROM HIS MAN SAUSAGE FINGERS, RAN AS FAST AS I COULD, OPENED THE FRONT DOOR AND LOBBED CHOSEN ITEM TO BEYOND THE HILLS, aka my onto damp 6x6m front lawn. I was. Mad. I came back inside, stamping on everything in my way and continued to sit on the sofa. This is when the thing that is my dad has the audacity to threaten to stop my phone if I don't retrieve the remote. I swallowed my anger, marched into the front lawn, dodged the wet grass to retrieve remote and laid it into my mums hand and briefly crawled up the stairs to rant about it to my boy. Parents 1 me 0 Respect me I respect you
How do they see.
Some ads are more tolerable than others.
AIRPLANE KITTEHS!!!!!!!!!
*HIGH PITCH SQUEAL*
@hearteyesandsoul
.. help
Don't u judge me dog
When you have no milk for your cereal then the shopping comes <3
I wish quality of life wasn't distinguished by money ownership.
Me: *content with sofa sitting*
School: *coursework looms*
Me: *remembers*
School: *looms harder*
Me: *panic attack/death*
School: u still have 2 do it
Me: :(
Trying to find a way for my best bud to tell her boyfriend thing that she's on her period as they were going to have a jiggy time at a sleepover. This is what I came up with ☺️
Trump being a candidate was funny until he actually got closer to becoming an actual president It's gone from "ahahha he'll never get it, to oh shit we better start voting against now"
What girls say: I'm fine
What girls mean: I'm too embarrassed to ask for water from your mom because this is the first time I've been over and she's asked me like 500 times if I wanted any and I've been saying no but I'm dying of thirst
When people say say when when grating cheese do you say when or stop
nighttime messages are getting weird.
So I was learning my driving theory..
And I’m just shit with things such as breaking distance cause it’s like,
you’re going 50mph through a portal, calculate the distance a grocery bag is flying through the car window at a 5° angle
..
I hope they have a salad bar there