Tolkien characters as No-Context Incorrect quotes
"Don't disturb my photosynthesis." -Yavanna
"I am ancient and ugly and I am proud." -Morgoth
"You stay in your food court and I'll stay in mine." -Turgon
"Behold my stupidity!" -Oropher
"I don't want to participate in clothes." -Celegorm (Idk why, just vibes)
"I surrender to the 65 degrees and sunlight!" -Legolas
"You can't say, 'Aah! Be careful!' to a barrel." -Bilbo or any of Thorin's company lol
"Ok, we're headed back into not-happy-man land." -Nerdandel
"Yeah, people who kidnap don't usually consult the happiness of the previous owner." -Maedhros, Maglor (or Elrond, referring to them lol)
"I challenge you to a doodle!" -Fingon
"I can almost guarantee you I could carry more avocados than the average man!" -Haleth
"The pull of the fries is strong upon me!" -any Hobbit, probably Pippin hehe
"Don't touch my fat man chair!" -Bombur
"We don't like the sun, and we wanna live in a jungle!" -Eöl
"I'm never eating anything without this golden shovel." -Thingol
"Everywhere I go, morticians are attracted to me." -the Witch King
"Some of them have to stay in the bathroom the whole time - the bathroom of banishment." -Mandos
"We deserve free donuts in times of peace!" -Ambarussa
"They didn't ask permission to turn my forest brown!" -Thranduil
"I'm singing into the void because it pleases me." -Maglor
"I'll probably end up staying depressed, but you never know." -Maeglin
"Oh, my marbles! They're gone! They've left me!" -Turin
And a bonus one I really like but I can't decide who would say it:
"I can't sell you this boat, your cat will die!"