Looking for credit in the straight world.

[breedavies]

Vote, Baby. Vote.: Here’s How I Voted in the 2017 Denver Elections

Denver! Ballots are due by Tuesday, November 7th at 7pm. So far, voter turnout has been abysmal. Can we really allow a small percentage of our population to make the decisions as to how $937 million of our future money as a city is spent? I don't think so. We can do better!

Since many of you asked (and I'm so happy that you did!) what I think about the 2017 ballot, I wanted to share my reasoning for how/why I'm voting -- still, I encourage you to seek out sources for additional information so YOU can make the informed decisions that best represent your own views. Below my voting information, I’ve included some resources to guide you! ***I'm also not interested in debating:) This is how I voted and I encourage you to make your own decisions*** (p.s. I dunno if it needs to be said but these are MY views, not the views of any organization, group or business I may do work with or represent outside of social media, etc.) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE VOTE. These elections are important and will have an impact on your life in Denver for generations to come. We are always talking about what is happening to this city and you actually have a chance to do something about it! 

On twitter? let me know you voted and I will retweet you! @cocodavies

HOW TO VOTE:

You should have gotten a ballot in the mail. After you fill it out, go to

the Secretary of State’s website to find out where the nearest ballot drop-off is located.

It's super easy! Just put your address into the box marked "Where do I vote or drop off my ballot?" and it will tell you where the closest location is.

Please drop your ballot ON OR BEFORE 7p.m. on Tuesday, November 7th!

Here goes, in order of how issues appear on the ballot:

Denver Public Schools Director At-Large:

Maybe you're like me and don't have kids in DPS. Maybe you have kids but they go to private schools. Neither of these things matter -- YOU NEED TO HAVE A SAY IN WHO LEADS DPS.

Why? DPS is one of the largest employers in the state. The health of our public schools is often a good indicator of the health of our neighborhoods. Also, hi. Children are the literal future. We need them to have equitable access to all of the tools, resources and experiences they need to become great humans.

My vote is for: Julie Bañuelos

I'll let Julie say why:

"During my 15+ years with DPS, I’ve worked mostly with communities of color with large constituents of immigrants, students and families of English Language Learners – groups to whom I am still tied and who are most impacted by passionate teachers that invest not just their time, but also their souls to these academic and personal relationships."

Enough said. I was sold. Julie’s career has been equity-focused and she’s been on the ground working with the populations she will be serving. We need more people like Julie in office.

(NOTE: If you have an open seat in your district for school board, please see A+ Colorado's breakdown of each candidate on their website! I have a link below.)

Ok, so- The GO Bond:

Here's the "nobody reads paragraphs just gimme the votes" version:

2A- No

2B- No

2C- No

2D- No

2E- Yes

2F- Yes

2G- No

2H- Yes

I-300- Yes

::::::::::::::::And here's the blowhard version of my votes:::::::::::::::::

GO Bond: some thoughts

This was tough. I am beyond disappointed that not a drop of money could have been set aside for affordable housing. That, and I was also inundated with materials from the city pushing me to vote yes on all measures; in fact, the city spent $2.4 MILLION on the campaign to push this through, a campaign that was unopposed, by the way, so they technically could have spent nothing. (I'm also including a link below to all of the donors who contributed to this campaign, because they will no doubt be donating to Hancock's re-election campaign, so get ready for that nightmare.)

My burning question with the GO Bond as a whole: With all of these "improvements" promised to be made with almost a billion of our future tax dollars, will we be subsidizing our own displacement? Will these improvements only accelerate gentrification? I don't have a crystal ball. I can't tell. But I am skeptical.

I also straight up do not trust the current administration or city council with $937 million. We have multiple multi-billion dollar "shiny object" projects in the works already- the I-70 environmentally racist nightmare, the National Western 

None of these projects have the most vulnerable people they will be negatively impacting in mind. I am scared for my city and our people. Money is seemingly everywhere, but we are losing our foundational folks because they cannot afford the basic necessities anymore.

2A- Denver Transportation & Mobility System Bonds - No.

I have no doubt this will pass. It doesn't need my vote to pass. But the refusal to consider housing as a part of the $431 million transit alone is unbelievable to me. I also don't trust that these projects will necessarily be fulfilled and I worry that those neighborhoods that need basics like sidewalks and safe crossings may never see them. I love you, transit lobby, and know you mean well. I wish you the best. You’ll be fine. 

2B- Denver Cultural Facilities Bonds - No.

I know, you're thinking, like, what? Bree, you love arts & culture! You're an advocate for artists and the institutions that make our arts scene great! I'm all for supporting any entity that creates opportunities for folks to see/participate/experience/make art. But guess what?

We already passed the SCFD tax - that tax FUNDS THESE INSTITUTIONS. The large organizations (think the Denver Zoo, the DMNS, Botanic Gardens, the DAM, DCPA) get their own dang tax. They also have large donor bases. They also have marketing departments and funding streams small non-profits on the ground doing the hard work do not.

Until our smaller organizations get the funding they deserve, these cultural behemoths can take care of themselves.

2C - Denver Health and Hospital Authority Bonds- No.

It comes down to a total lack of trust in the finds actually being spent on these things promised. Shout out to Candi CdeBaca for her research on this one. I've linked her own voter guide below. Please read her POV on all of these issues.

2D- Denver Public Safety System Bonds - No.

It sucks that they lump fire stations in with police stations because I would have voted yes on this otherwise. But- fuck the police. Fuck the police state. Dismantle the system. No money to support a racist, classist unjust "justice" system.

2E- Denver Library System Bonds - Yes.

The library takes better care of our people than our government does (just see how they are taking an empathetic approach to the opioid crisis and our folks experiencing homelessness.) Libraries are *thankfully* hotbeds of radical liberalism and I love everything they do for our world. Knowledge is power. Librarians save lives.

2F- Denver Parks & Recreation System Bonds - Yes.

This was a toughie, ONLY because this is one of those instances where I am concerned we will be subsidizing displacement. When we make improvements to long neglected areas of the city, they often become flags for land-owners to wave to attract gentrification.

If Westwood finally gets its long-deserved rec center, will the folks/families who live there now get to see it come to fruition in five years? My friends working in land trust operations and food access say yes, our people will get to stay. I trust they are right because they work directly with the people.

I do not want to see what happened to the Northside happen to the Westside.

2G- Denver Public Facilities System Bonds - No.

I again referred to Candi on this one. She says the allotment of money is too vague and that's enough for me. Again, a lack of trust in our current administration is having a huge impact on how I'm voting -- which is a bummer, because they have so many tools at their disposal to make this city a more equitable place for all. Money just isn't the only tool.

Beyond the Bond:

Referred Question 2H- Yes.

I can only assume (hope?) adding more board members to an entity of this size will bring more voices to the table.

I-300- The Green Roof Initiative- Yes.

This requires builders to put money into investing in our future. It is a step toward an actually greener city. It was opposed by our mayor, which is disheartening. I believe that he is ok with spending our money as a city, but when builders are asked to put more money toward a better Denver, he's not interested in asking for that. Who he stands with says a lot about who he cares about.

Also, this was a citizen-led campaign. This is how much people care about a healthy future for Denver. (A link to the Green Roof Initiative is below, if you want a detailed explanation of what, exactly, the initiative will do, if passed.)

Resources: 

Please, take a few minutes to read about each ballot issue so you can feel confident in the choices you make for the city of Denver. I’ve compiled a list of places I found good information to help me make my choices: In Denver’s at-large school board race, a familiar face and two challengers who want change via Melanie Asmar at Chalkbeat A+ Colorado's 2017 Denver Public Schools – School Board Candidate Survey GO? Or No GO?: A 2017 Denver Election Guide by Candi CdeBaca via Project VOYCE Your Denver 2017 Election Guide: What you need to know about ballot measures and school board candidates - via Erica Meltzer at Denverite Denver 2017 election guide: A $937 million bond package and the Green Roof Initiative are on the ballot via Jon Murray at The Denver Post A line-by-line look at the Mayor's recommended investments (where the GO Bond money is supposed to go if it all passes) Green Roof Initiative's breakdown of their proposal Ballotpedia’s breakdown of each measure And if you’re interested, here’s the campaign finance report for the entities/companies/people donated (to an unopposed campaign) Denver, please. Please vote. 

xo b

[breedavies]

Fuck Hugh Hefner: On reclaiming commodified bodies

I was in a band a long time ago called Night of Joy with my close pals Fernando and Valerie. We used a ton of deconstructed and repurposed imagery from Playboy (among other sources) for our flyers/album art (artwork which was shared/created between two of us, so I want to be clear that these are my thoughts; my collaborator/friend Valerie has her own)-

I don't know if "reclaiming" is the right word, but- when you are "a woman in a punk band" people wanna put all sorts of imagery/ideas ON you. I wanted to take control of the "chick band" narrative before we walked in a room. We deconstructed imagery of women's bodies through art ourselves because I felt that it was inevitably something we had to answer to anyway -- we inhabited these bodies and these bodies played music.

It's like that Sonic Youth line- "What's it like to be a girl in a band? I don't quite understand."

As musicians, we also faced a high expectation of answering to and for feminism and feminist politics because we happened to be a band of two-thirds women, which *surprise!* somehow meant we were spokespeople for feminism.

Women making music isn't always feminist or political- but it becomes so just by the act of doing it; using Playboy and other commercially commodified imagery WE debased for ourselves was a way -to me- to regurgitate the "woman in a band" narrative.

We used the pornographic imagery that had been weaponized and used against us by male bands for decades by mutilating it ourselves and putting it out there ourselves.

*Also, if you wanna celebrate porn revolutionaries, give some respect to the women in front of (and behind) the camera. Fuck Hefner and his often not-consensual commodification of bodies that weren't his.*

[breedavies]

I tried (and failed) to navigate a Denver City Council meeting

On Monday, August 14, Denver City Council voted on the types of projects that would become funded via our city’s $937 million GO Bond. Denverites will ultimately vote on these pre-chosen projects in November.  I’ve been watching the GO Bond take shape for months and was appalled by Denver’s inability to even consider our affordable housing crisis as something that could be partially solved with the hundreds of millions of dollars that are up for grabs come November.  I went to that City Council meeting to ask that they PLEASE consider the housing crisis when determining where we will spend almost a billion dollars. I found this process of civic engagement to be almost inaccessible; I showed up at the wrong time, spoke at the wrong time and embarrassed myself in front of a room full of people.  But what’s cool about this whole thing? Denverite, a local publication, asked me to share my experience in the hopes of helping others navigate the municipal political system: OPINION: How I learned that civic engagement isn’t as easy as it should be Also, if you’re interested:  Here’s the letter I read to Denver City Council that night at the meeting: Hi- My name is Bree Davies. Though I work with several organizations in this city, I am here tonight as a citizen to share my concerns about the upcoming GO Bond. As a born and raised Denverite, I have made the choice to stay in this city, even as it has become unaffordable in so many ways. I also have the privilege of housing security, thanks to an understanding landlord who keeps my rent reasonable -- but I know that many others in my city do not have this luxury. When I look at the list of projects being considered for the Bond and with more than $900 million dollars at stake, I wonder: how has something as necessary as housing not made the cut? I understand that transportation is a valid issue affecting all neighborhoods in Denver, but putting more than $415 million towards mobility improvements seems futile if folks can’t afford to stay living in this city. What good is a bike lane if no one can afford to live on the street where it exists? I want my neighborhood to have accessible sidewalks, but not at the cost of becoming more desirable and therefore, more likely to be gentrified. I grew up in Virginia Village, Councilperson Kashmann’s district, but have spent the better part of the last decade as a resident of Barnum, Councilperson Lopez’s district. I live in Barnum because it is affordable, for now. It reminds me of the working class neighborhood I grew up in, but no longer exists. I fear that Barnum, along with Westwood, Valverde, Villa Park and Sun Valley are already on the gentrification chopping block. I worry for many of my neighbors who, like me, are renters and may soon find themselves displaced. To see this city considering close to a billion dollars in bond money but not include housing enrages and embarrasses me. Where are our priorities? Don’t we care about our foundational people and the rooted communities that give Denver life? I spent ten years as an arts & culture reporter in Denver and have long been an advocate for the arts. Last year, I was a vocal advocate of a renewal of the SCFD tax – which passed. But to see the big cultural institutions up for more than $100 million dollars in bond money seems greedy. Again, what good are these institutions if the people they are supposed to serve can no longer afford to live here? I applaud your approval of last year’s affordable housing fund – I think it is a step in the right direction. But it is only a step. With a projected $937 Million at stake for this upcoming bond, why can’t we put more of our money toward affordable housing solutions? I’m here to ask you to reconsider the way our money is spent. Denver will never be a world-class city unless we prove ourselves to a humanitarian city first. Finally, I request a repeal of the urban camping ban. I’m tired of seeing a classist law criminalize humanity while overworking the already hardworking social workers I know and love. Thank you for your time.

[breedavies]

No more free passes for assholes. No more free press for men.

“I got beef with a rapping lesbo midget in a wheelchair. Life is strange...”

Life is strange, indeed. The Internet captures so much wonder and at the same time, so much unedited human word vomit, offering life up to us in shitty soundbites we’re unable to avoid consuming. I’m sure the dude who originally typed out the hate speech above -- and it is a direct quote from a Facebook post -- didn’t think his words could last forever. But they will. 

Maybe he regrets saying them. Maybe he believes them. Maybe he’s pretending he’s forgotten all of this ever happened. After all, it’s been over a week since he posted those words on Facebook and in Internet time, anything over 24 hours old is technically dead news. 

I will not name the person who said those words because I am done aiding in the “free press for men” movement. That person, after all, is a rapper in Denver. Whether he realized it or not when he said that, he was looking for free advertisement for his art. Men get a lot of free press for their art. It’s what they’re supposed to get. They are men. Who cares if he was using ableist, misogynist and homophobic language --  all press is good press, right? 

But I will talk about the person who this man is referring to as a “rapping lesbo midget in a wheelchair.” Her name is Kalyn Heffernan. She’s my friend and before I wrote this, I asked for her permission. She’s not looking for free press. She’s spent plenty of time earning it. She doesn’t have to beef using Facebook to get it. She puts her head down and works on her art. That’s what real artists do.

For some clarification, yes, Kalyn is in a wheelchair. Yes, she’s a rapper -- and a teacher and an activist and a friend and a human. Nope, she’s not a midget and to distill her existence into a slur as simple and devastatingly inaccurate as “lesbo” is just plain lazy hate speech. But most hate speech is lazy. 

Bigots are lazy. 

People who confuse “beef” with bigotry are lazy. 

People who confuse bigotry with “free speech” are misinformed. And lazy.

The reason this man decided to go after Kalyn and personally attack her on Facebook was because she spoke out. She spoke out about this rapper and his group’s behavior toward women, after a time when he had the microphone and the stage and the spotlight to do so. Make no mistake: When you have a microphone and an audience in front of you, the choices you make are with intention. When you desire to hurt or threaten or make people -- especially women -- uncomfortable or unsafe with you art, you know what you’re doing. 

This man knew what he was doing.

Still, when Kalyn out called his behavior as part of an interview, she did not use his name. She was not about to give him free press; she was explaining something that had happened to her at the hands of other artists who chose to use their stage time as a place for misogyny. Still, this man took it upon himself to reveal that he was the misogynist artist in question by making a statement on Facebook.  Facebook is funny in this way -- if you want it to, it can be taken very seriously. But if you want to pass off your hate speech as “just something I posted on Facebook,” you can. We twist the use of social media to fit our own agendas. It’s one of the most harmful parts of our modern existence as communicators. Saying what you mean and meaning what you say do not apply. 

Now that this is done and the Internet news cycle has made this conversation irrelevant (I say this as I’m over here trying to dig it up from its fresh digital grave,) I want to know something: why does it take men speaking up to make people aware of women’s experiences? After all, the above linked interview with Kalyn where she calls out a misogynist rapper was part of a larger conversation about sexism in the Denver music scene. A conversation that started when male artists called out other male artists for their misogyny. 

I’m all for dudes helping us when it comes to bringing to light the issues we face as non-dudes who make art. But why do we have to wait for men to do something to make it newsworthy? Why are we so quick to make men newsworthy? Women do radical things that are deemed un-newsworthy every day when it comes to our art. Our art itself is often un-newsworthy because we are the ones who made it. Every day, 

We battle sexist comments that have nothing to do with our art. We battle ableist comments that have nothing to do with our art. We battle ageist comments that have nothing to do with our art. We battle racist comments that have nothing to do with our art. We battle transphobic comments that have nothing to do with our art. Next time a man decides to do something that seems radical in his art and that radical statement involves women, maybe look beyond his surface motive. There just might be a woman behind it with a story that’s actually worth telling. 

[breedavies]

Writing for sale

I really miss LiveJournal. Yes, I know it still exists and yes I know there are many other platforms like it out there (this one included.) But I guess I miss LJ for the time and the place in my life when it existed to me. I miss the feeling of public privacy and the way my audience/community was a curated group of friends I knew in real life and total strangers I had become friends with on the internet. 

I deleted my Live Journal years ago in an act of virtual diary burning -- I didn’t want the evidence of my life from that time to exist to me anymore. It was mostly because a big portion of my LJ’s entries were about a psychologically abusive relationship I was in on and off for over half a decade, a relationship I passed off as a lot of things other than psychologically abusive. 

I was thinking recently about how I don’t journal anymore at all. Not even in a tangible notebook like I have done on and off since I was first able to write. This off period of the on and off has been longer than usual -- almost three years of not journaling at all. I tell myself it’s because I’m too busy writing for a living, but that’s a lie. I write daily for a living but there are hours each day when I could be writing for me. But I stopped writing for me. I stopped writing things that don’t get me the little bit of money I need to survive and I’ve stopped writing things that I can’t advertise as part of my social media “brand.” 

Because that’s what I have become as a writer now -- a brand. A person expected by the people who pay me to promote/advertise/sell my own work, even though that work doesn’t see me enough returns most of the time to live a regular life. It doesn’t see enough returns for the emotion it takes to go through the whole motion of pitching, writing, placing it in a blogging format, waiting for edits, seeing the finished product, promoting it on social media, engaging an audience on that social media in a conversation (and in the hopes that they read more of my words than just the headline, the part of the story I most likely didn’t write) and making it through the often difficult moderation I have to do as people begin to argue in the comments section of my own social media threads. The irony of that part is, I never read the comments on my own articles on the sites I work for, but I end up being the moderator on things like Facebook when friends and strangers bicker in the space I have created by asking people to read what I have written. I didn’t go to college to learn how to do that part of the writing process, and it is hard. 

It’s hard on my person. It’s hard on my emotional well-being. It’s hard on my soul. It’s hard to be the writer who is simultaneously looking for readers while trying to create a safe space for myself to be happy with what I write. People say really mean things to me and others within the threads I’ve created on social media. Over the past few days, I’ve tried to take a step back from interacting on my most dreaded platform -- Facebook. I’ve tried to take a voyeur’s seat, take a place at the table usually reserved for people who actually use social media for something other than selling their work. Many people like me are hustlers; we’re not ‘average users’ who use Facebook for its pretend purpose of “connecting with others.” We use it as an online marketplace for discussion and sale. Lately, I don’t have it in me to be a seller. I also have created a minefield for myself out of my Facebook by accepting friend requests from anyone, leading to strangers making outrageous statements in my threads that end up hurting me and the personal relationships I have with other people, people I actually know who also happen to be participating in those same threads. (I’ve also found myself having really terrible feelings towards friends based on the things they post and say. But that’s a different story for another day.)

The thing with me and writing is that when I start thinking about something I want to say, my brain just starts spitting it out, whether I have a way to capture it at that very moment or not. Often, I’m in the shower, in the car, in bed about to fall asleep (or my brain’s favorite time to start writing -- RIGHT when I first open my eyes.) It even begins when I’m mid-conversation with another human and often I don’t feel it is polite to say ‘excuse me, I have to leave this interaction right now so I can write down what I my brain is throwing at me instead of listening to you.’ 

I’d like to do more of that -- more writing as it comes to me. More writing that makes me feel good. More writing that involves a finished product I don’t feel like I have to sell once it’s done. Because the thing is, these expectations I feel as a writer to “sell” my own work after it’s done are really my own -- I get paid to write assignments whether I promote them on social media or not. Maybe I would feel better about selling my already sold pieces if I was writing other things that were not for sale? I don’t know. I don’t know what the answer is. All I know is that I’ve got to change something soon so that I don’t feel as dead on the inside as I do now. I want to create work that is art; right now, I am creating work that is commerce. Even if it is a topic I am passionate about and I feel like I’ve written from my heart -- if I have to immediately start sharing a link to that work on social media and engaging people and basically begging them to read it, it doesn’t feel like writing from the heart. Or maybe I would feel a lot better about this if I was making a living wage for those pieces I’m selling. I don’t know. I better put a clickable title on this entry so people read it. Or not.  I miss you, Live Journal. 

[breedavies]

My sister and I had these incredible homages to Lakeside Amusement Park created/tattooed by our forever homie Kevin Hennessy at Landmark Tattooing in Denver. Kevin also paints signs all over Denver with his company, Original Signs. He is THE BEST!

[breedavies]

Eek! Our next Titwrench Festival DANCE PARTY fundraiser is on its way! If you’re in Denver, join us for a night of all ages//all welcome dance mania + a chance to help us fund our upcoming Titwrench #6, happening October 3 2015! <3 <3 

[breedavies]

Do you give a shit about music? Be a part of our podcast!

Attention: Musicians/music industry folks/music critics/music lovers -

Isa Jones + I have a new podcast! It's called Welcome to Rock Island and it focuses on all aspects of the music community/industry. We've been working hard at creating something that is listenable, entertaining and of interest to all people who care about the inner-workings of the biz (and the DIY side, too!) by interviewing musicians, venue operators, DIY bookers, music critics who have something to say.

Now, we need your help. We are creating an episode called "What do you want out of music in 2015?" Maybe you want to see more diverse line-ups at large festivals or more all ages shows or a new record from your favorite band. Whatever it is, we want to hear about it and wish to share your thoughts on our podcast.

Here's how you can be a part of the episode: Send us a recorded clip that is 30 seconds to a minute long of you talking about what you want out of music in 2015. Please be sure to introduce yourself by whatever name you want to use and a title or brief description of who you are (Like: my name is Bree Davies and I write about music/am a raging Sublime fan/etc.)

You can record it on your phone or via garageband or whatever -- it doesn't have to be fancy. Just make sure that you're in a quiet room so that there is minimal background noise so the audio is usable.

Please feel free to share this with anyone anywhere in the world that might want to be a part of this episode of our podcast. We would love to include as many different voices from a wide spectrum of music-oriented people as we can. Please send your audio clips to [email protected] no later than this Friday, January 30.

xo Bree

[breedavies]

My old band, Night of Joy, has a merch store now! You can buy all kinds of cool, handmade merch from us, along with our final album, Bombed Out and Depleted, which has never been officially released until, uh, now!

[breedavies]

How not to talk to a woman at a music festival (or anywhere else)

As I stood outside a show at last weekend's Underground Music Showcase, immersed in a nice conversation with my friend...

[breedavies]

FUCK UP THE SYSTEM FROM THE INSIDE

To the dude who said my feminist blogs are pointless because they run on a publication's website that also runs "Hottest Shirtless Girls of Whatever Corporate Music Fest" content, just know this: We feminists are smart and tricky fuckers. Our words are not merely relegated to publications overtly labeled "feminist." We get published everywhere, every day. 

FEMINISTS ARE EVERYWHERE.

[breedavies]

I booked a show for my friends Mannequin Pussy in August and I'm super stoked to see them play! I made this flyer for the show. You should go to it. It's gonna be fun. 

[breedavies]

#TBT 2010: Playing Bar Bar without my shoes on. Photo by Sarah Slater

[damaliabrams]

Free PDF of Feminism Is For Everybody by bell hooks

[breedavies]

This a great start for anyone who doesn't consider themselves a feminist or just doesn't know about feminism. Feminism is for everybody. 

[breedavies]

I'm one of the lucky ones.

I have always felt I was "one of the lucky ones" because I have not (yet) been raped. I have been taught that statistically, my rape is almost inevitable. Statistically, if I'm not raped, many people I know will or have been. Statistically, rapists don't get caught. Statistically, rapists don't get punished. Statistically, rapists are people I know. 

But in light of #YesAllWomen and reading women like Kate Spencer + Maureen Johnson's recounts of all the times they were sexually harassed, touched inappropriately, screamed at, etc. I realized: I never reported my own sexual harassment.

This week, I wrote about ONE instance (out of dozens) of times I was threatened or harassed online. But I didn't write about any of the times I was physically harassed, threatened, abused, or fondled -- which I am realizing now has happened to me many times over since I was a kid. 

These are just the situations I can remember.

I never told anyone about the time I moved to New York City in 2007 with no job so I could take an unpaid internship with a publicity company, only to have my boss sexually harass me two weeks in. I called my mom that night -- who taught me from the time I could remember to leave ANY situation that makes you uncomfortable -- and I quit the next day. I never reported it.

After that, I worked at a giant, billion-dollar global corporate technology-based retail store, where I quit after watching one of my coworkers be sexually harassed by multiple coworkers, managers, and other people in power. I was planning on quitting quietly, but my female boss pressured me to explain myself -- so I did. I told her everything I had witnessed. No one was fired, talked to, or written up that I know of. As far as I know, many of the perpetrators still work for the company and have been promoted.

I dated a man once for a brief period of time who I tried to have sex with me while I was asleep. When I woke up and realized what was happening, he freaked out, started crying and said that I "owed him sex" -- because he had given me an iPhone. 

My freshman year in high school, a boy a year older than me was interested in me. I was not interested in him, but a lot of girls liked him and it was implied that I was "lucky" to get his affection. He was terrifying. He tried to assault me behind the Dunkin' Donuts where we smoked cigarettes. He chased me home from school yelling "Breezer" as he followed close behind me. He touched me many times without consent.

Also during my freshman year, my "best friend" left me alone with her boyfriend's friend to, apparently, do what he wanted with me. I pushed him off of me several times in her living room, waiting for her and her boyfriend to come out of her bedroom and take me home. I was 15. I couldn't even drive myself home if I wanted to. 

That same friend gave me a bunch of expired condoms once and told me "I was never going to have sex anyway, so I might as well take these." Again, I was 15. 

When I was 12, an old man at my cousin's wedding tried to get me to sit on his lap. I of course didn't do it, but had to ask him to leave me alone, repeatedly. 

I was once told by a class president at my high school that I didn't "look like a virgin." He also said other obscene things to me as if I would all of a sudden be interested in hooking up with him. Secretly, of course, because I was by no means cool and he wouldn't even be so much as caught talking to me in public. But he would whisper disgusting things to me in the hall. 

Once, a few summers ago, I was walking downtown and a boy on a bicycle rode by. He reached out and grabbed my crotch and kept riding. 

This is all I can remember right now. 9 times. Just 9 times in my life. I'm one of the lucky ones.

[breedavies]

Things I find when I'm doing an image search for a story: Ryan Gosling watching a Pictureplane performance at 2011's Fun Fun Fun Fest.

[breedavies]

Standing in the way of control: Elliot Rodger, #YesAllWomen and the culture of misogyny

When #YesAllWomen began as a hashtag on Twitter over the weekend, I sat back for a while and observed. As...

I really don't care if you call yourself a feminist or not, but when we don't say anything or react, we are complicit. Are you complicit in the culture of misogyny?