❖ warning : explicit language, mentions of alcohol
❖ summary : it seems like everyone has their own guardian angel, everyone but you because you’ve given up on Jesus the moment you come down to Lee Minho’s level and shake hands with the Devil.
one.
Your dad is definitely not gonna approve of you hanging by the bar alone after midnight.
It all happened too fast, and you don’t even know where you’re going next. After a call from your manager, which you almost fell asleep as he rambled about boring paperwork, until he dropped the bomb. He said he was sorry for what he’s gonna say next and turned out the label wanted to cut you loose. The entire universe was completely shattered right in front of your eyes. You were utterly speechless when the line went dead so long story short, you packed your bag and ran away.
Like a coward.
You stare blankly at the half-empty glass of Martini in your hand before chuckling lowly. Because life is a little son of a bitch, who’s born with the power to pull on everyone’s strings as if people are a bunch of puppets for whatever gods up there to entertain themselves. Getting signed into a music production company right after your graduation swept your life over with joy. Your parents were… overwhelmed to say the least but they still wanted you to move to Seoul. Two years later, your life once again was flipped upside down because of a single phone call. They didn’t even bother to call you in and meet face-to-face.
“Cheers to this motherfucker.” You almost laugh at your own miserable state but suppress it and down the whole glass in one go. “Another one.” You tell the barista absently and he just sighs before starting to mix your drink.
“Tough times ?” He leans over the counter and slides your drink across the wooden surface.
You gratefully take the glass, words slurred between hiccups. “You have no fucking idea.” Your eyes travel down from his defined features gleaming under the neon light to the name tag hanging off his white dress shirt. It reads ‘Kim Woojin’. You shake your head to lure the weariness away while your right hand reaching inside your pocket to pull out some cash.
Hi! I noticed your requests were open and I was hoping you could write a minho x female!reader angst with a happy ending? Maybe a break up au where they get back together years later? Sorry if it’s too specific
— recommence.
word count: 6.3k
pairing: lee minho (skz) x gender neutral reader
warning(s): food mentions, swearing, break-ups, sadness that comes with said break-ups (it’s a happy ending though dw!! 🥲)
genre: angst, fluff, non-idol au, exes-to-lovers au
notes: i came across this poem on pinterest while writing this, and i wanted to share it since i feel like it fits this fic pretty well 💕 “do you remember / where we first met? / do you wonder / if we’d make it to the end? / would we still / be our first choice? / i guess this is when / we make our stand / and choose / each other again” — the summer happy
summary: fate must’ve hated you when it brought you and minho apart in a devastating break-up. but fate also works in mysterious ways, and he finds his way back into your life a few years later.
a/n: don’t worry, this isn’t too specific at all!! i hope this is close to what you had in mind and i’m so sorry for the wait!! also i just realised i wrote for a gender neutral reader instead of a female reader like you requested but i hope it’s still okay!!! ugh i completely missed that part i’m so sorry 😭😭this took a bit longer to draft and write than i thought but it was really fun to write 💕 hehe gotta throw in some angst for Flavour 😼thank you for the request and i hope you’re having a good day!! (´ ω `♡)
When you met Lee Minho for the first time, you became very wary of what the universe had planned for you by making your paths cross.
The two of you met in high school through Felix, who had recently joined the school’s dance team and after a few months, wanted you to meet his friends on the team because were apparently “really cool” and “you’ll definitely like them, Y/N, trust me!”.
It took one meeting for you to realise that those claims only applied to Hwang Hyunjin, who was a total sweetheart and shared his muffin with you even though at the time the two of you had only known each other for fifteen minutes.
Felix complained about how unfair it was that Hyunjin managed to buy your affection with food in the blink of an eye, but your love language is sharing food with your friends and devouring it together, so sue you.
On the other hand, Lee Minho can go eat a shoe or something because you detested him immediately after he made a snarky comment about the book you brought with you. To be fair, he’s right and that book absolutely sucked, which is precisely why you decided to give it a go because nothing beats good entertainment like a bland, cringey plot where the characters go through little to no development.
Your pride, however, was too big for you to explain that you were reading it ironically. Because what if you actually liked that dumb book? He had no right sticking his nose into your business where it didn’t belong, and that’s what you said to Felix as soon as the two of you left the dance studio to meet up with Chan and Seungmin.
“Aw, he was just joking,” Felix explains with a sheepish grin. “I was slightly intimidated by him too when we first met, but then I quickly realised it was just his way of showing affection and interest in people.”
“Affection and interest?” you repeat in disbelief. “That’s some way of showing it.”
“Well, he’s a cat dad, so...maybe he took a few pages out of his cats’ books. Haha, get it? Book? Because you were just talking about books with him?”
You level your best friend an unimpressed state. “You want a Comedian of the Year award, or something?”
Felix laughs as he slings an arm over your shoulder. “You’ll see. Minho’s really cool once you start talking to him more, and you’ll warm up to him in no time!”
Yeah, that didn’t happen. At least, not for a while. Even since you had the pleasure of meeting Lee Minho, it seemed as though he made his life’s goal annoying you indefinitely.
He’d come up from behind you to ruffle your hair, completely messing it up, as you were busy grabbing stuff from your locker; when you were studying in the library he’d plop down into the seat opposite yours and pester you until he was sure you were distracted; when you visited Felix at practice he’d chase you around to pull you into a hug knowing he was sweaty from all the dancing. The list can go on and on.
He’d start random fights with you whenever he occasionally joined you and Felix for lunch—what type of chocolate is superior (milk chocolate gets way too much crap); whether a shark or a bear would win in a fight; whether the straw has one hole or two—literally anything and everything. But perhaps the most aggravating aspect of it was that he always had a comeback, and it seemed like you’d never win an argument with him, which your pride simply would not allow.
Every friend of yours remarked that the two of you bickered like an old married couple which would earn them a punch on the arm. But maybe fate was indeed listening, because whether you liked to admit it or not (you didn’t), you found yourself secretly looking forward to those little moments you shared with Minho, even if they consisted of sarcastic comments ninety-nine percent of the time.
“Where’s you-know-who?” Is the first thing you ask Seungmin when you walk up to him. After his first class (which you knew he had with Minho), he’d wait for you outside your classroom so you could walk to History together.
“He called in sick today,” your friend says before giving you a pointed look. “Why? And since when did you care about Minho?” he adds suspiciously.
“I don’t,” you say with an air of (false) nonchalance, hoping it was enough to fool Seungmin. “Just wondering if he was going to bother me yet again in Maths.”
“Sure...” Seungmin says sarcastically, dragging out the syllable, because of-fucking-course he’d see through you. He’s far too observant for his (or your) own good.
“I don’t like what your tone is insinuating.”
Seungmin smiles deviously. “And I don’t like how you keep lying to yourself when you obviously like him more than you let on.”
“Eat a sock, Kim Seungmin.”
Deep down, however, you can’t help but feel disappointed over how you’d have to get through two periods of Maths alone without Minho flipping through the book to find the most stupid-looking illustrations, tapping on your shoulder from next to you before pointing at them and saying, “that’s you”.
Neither of you ever paid attention in Maths, but it was okay because Minho would always help you with anything you didn’t understand (which was pretty much everything) after class.
Eventually, like every classic enemies-to-lovers trope, you realised (much to your horror, but also not really) that you weren’t bickering with Minho because you genuinely disliked him, but because you wanted an excuse to keep him in your life. And you had a small hunch that he felt the same way.
That hunch was confirmed when he marched towards you one day in the library and like he usually would, claiming the seat across from you.
“Good afternoon to you too,” you say casually as you turn a page, despite your heartbeat already starting to pick up its pace when you feel his stare on your face. “How are things?”
“Go out with me?”
You look up from your book and note the serious expression on his face, completely void of any sign that he was joking around.
“Thought you’d never ask.”
Like true Minho fashion, he took you to a cat café for your first date, claiming the whole time that however cute the cats there were, they could never compare to his—and him as well.
(You had no objections. He is pretty cute.)
You think that perhaps nothing is ever meant to be.
Fate, if such a thing existed (at least, you choose to believe it does), can be cruel. Two people—or more, you don’t judge—can be so compatible and so right for each other that it wouldn’t make sense for them to be apart. Yet there’s no guarantee that they are immune to separation, sometimes...things just happen.
It’s unfortunate how you met the right person at the wrong time.
Ever since that first date with Minho (which was met by a chorus of I told you so’s from your friends) your relationship had been going strong. That is, until the subject of your future plans came up.
Even before you started dating, Minho had been talking about wanting to go to this university across the country that specialised in business and economics. When you were just friends, you supported his decision wholeheartedly, knowing that if anyone deserved that opportunity, it was Minho. You still do, but it was just that...now what?
This question plagued your mind after every date as graduation drew closer and closer. Would you have to break up? Have your relationship be long-distance? Ditch all your plans at your dream university which was just a twenty-minute bus ride away from your apartment building?
The night before graduation at the convenience store where you’d have your weekly instant ramen run, you finally brought it up, and the two of you agreed (quite begrudgingly, knowing the pain that you’d both be in after) that such a conversation was inevitable.
You both decided to try maintaining the relationship, not wanting to lose the other so soon. The day he left for university was perhaps one of the saddest days you’ve ever had. You did all you could to hold back your tears, and you like to think that you did a pretty good job at it until it really was time for him to go through the departure gates.
“Don’t cry, silly,” Minho coos, his hand gently smoothing down your hair as he speaks. Chan, Felix and Seungmin are standing a few feet away after exchanging final goodbyes with Minho, likely to give the two of you some privacy. “I’ll be back for winter break before you know it.”
You blink rapidly in an effort to rid the tears. “I’m not crying,” you lie through your teeth. “I just...I don’t know how I’m gonna adjust to not seeing you for months from seeing you almost every day...”
“I’ll call, text and FaceTime you so much that you’ll probably sick of me,” Minho jokes. He’s trying to lighten the mood and cheer you up, but his words only make you even more upset.
You frown, tears pushing past your eyes to roll down your cheeks in rivulets. “Please don’t say that when you’re flying across the country in less than two hours,” you choke out.
Minho visibly panics, a stark contrast from his usual calm and collected demeanour. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he says immediately, warm hands hastily swiping away your tears. When you look up, you find that his eyes are glossy too. “In all seriousness, I’ll never get tired of you. I’ll call as much as I can, okay? We’ll be okay.”
You don’t know that, is what you want to say. But you’ll probably break down if you actually do, so you keep your mouth shut and nod glumly instead.
Time didn’t stop for you when it was finally time for Minho to go through the security gates, and you were forced to watch his silhouette shrink as he walked away, each step creating a deeper pit in your stomach.
You managed to muster up a smile (that likely looked more like a grimace than anything else) and wave when he turned back to find you among the bustling crowds in the terminal before disappearing around the corner. You didn’t think it was possible to be this heartbroken, but your heart truly felt like as though someone had reached into your chest and crushed it wholly.
(Felix held you in the backseat of Chan’s car as you sobbed in his arms the entire ride home. You were too busy bawling your eyes to notice the sympathetic looks Chan and Seungmin’s gave you through the rear-view mirror from the driver and passenger seat.)
It still hurts to think of what happened in the months after Minho’s departure. You fought for this relationship and the both of you were desperate to make it work. For the first few months or so, you stayed true to your word and spoke to each other every day, and you couldn’t be happier when Minho came back for winter break. That is, until the looming reminder that he would have to leave you again, this time for even longer, dug its roots into the (what you thought was a) solid foundation that was your trust in this relationship and started prying it apart.
It was tough when Minho went back after winter break. There was just so much in the way—busy schedules; your own obligations; less time spent talking to the other which then led to even shorter texts and phone calls...You knew this would happen eventually, so you really shouldn’t have been that surprised, but there were a huge part of you that wished it didn’t.
An even bigger part of you (if that was even possible) didn’t want to be the one to put an end to a relationship that brought so much joy and love into your life.
Like they always say, all good things must come to an end.
“Do you think...we should break up?” Minho asks suddenly during one of your (now slightly awkward) phone calls. He sounds unsure, like he’s scared of what your response will be.
Your heart plummets when you finish processing his words. Sure, you’ve thought about it since it began feeling like the two of you were staying in this relationship simply for the sake of it, but hearing him say it, to speak it into existence so that it is no longer a thought you can keep to yourself, but a decision the two of you must make together...it hurts. It fucking hurts.
It feels like the end. Like you’re both too tired to keep fighting for each other.
“Do we have to?” you ask hoarsely when you find it in you to finally respond.
Minho’s end falls silent for a few moments, and you hear some shuffling before he speaks again. “It’s just...I don’t know. Are we even—are we even happy in this relationship anymore?”
“I tried so hard to be,” you whisper. Your chest feels tight, like someone’s pressing all the air out of you.
“Me too,” comes the equally regretful response. “I think we both did our best...but maybe it just w—”
“—Wasn’t enough?”
You can practically hear your heartbeat.
“Yeah...I guess sometimes there are just things that...we can’t control, you know?”
“So...w-what? This is how it ends?” You almost don’t recognise your own voice because it just sounds so, so broken. You don’t want him to hear you cry, but tears uncontrollably escape the corner of your eyes, trailing down your temples before disappearing into your pillow and leaving behind two growing dampened spots on either side of your head.
Minho’s voice comes back a little stuffy, like he’s holding himself back from crying too. “I don’t want it to...” he says, and it pains you to admit that you’re already doubting his sincerity in that sentence. Is this hurting him as much as it’s hurting you, or is he just saying this to make you feel that you still mean something to him even when you don’t? “But I don’t want us to part on bad terms, I don’t want an explosive fight to break out because then we might not even get to stay friends. You know?”
You tried to understand. And looking back at that conversation, he did have a point. At least if you ended things amicably, you could still be friends and spare yourselves and your mutual friends the awkwardness when he comes back during breaks. But at the time, you were so heartbroken that his words went in one ear and out the other, the only thing on your mind was what he said to you at the airport all those months ago.
“In all seriousness, I’ll never get tired of you. I’ll call as much as I can, okay? We’ll be okay.”
Maybe promises were made to be broken.
“I don’t want this to end just yet...I’m, I’m still in love with you,” you admit before fully breaking down in sobs.
“As am I, but I don’t want things to get any uglier than they are now,” Minho pleads, sounding equally as hurt. His words don’t bring you any reassurance or comfort, and instead you feel a flash of anger because how dare he say that? How dare he claim he still loves you when he was the one who wanted to let go? If given the chance, would he even want to keep fighting for this?
You dread knowing the answer. So you don’t voice out any of those thoughts.
“Can we still stay friends after this?” Minho asks quietly. “I know it sounds selfish, but...I still want you in my life...”
You don’t want to think. Your head is pounding from both the conversation and from crying so much, feeling like it could split open any moment.
“Yeah, sure,” you say, too tired and numb to form a more eloquent response. “Just need some time...I think.”
“Yeah,” he echoes awkwardly. “Well...take care, okay? I’ll see you around...”
The way he says the last part so hesitantly crushes you. It sounds so foreign, like he’s already putting distance between the two of you. It hits you that this really is it, that after you both hang up, you will no longer be what you used to. It’s an unsettling feeling that makes your chest constrict even more until it feels like you can’t breathe.
“You too.” There’s so much you want to say, but at the same time the words don’t leave you because you don’t know where to even start. So you hang up just like that, hand falling limply to your side and your phone carelessly tossed somewhere next to you on the bed.
The tears are drying on your cheek and your eyelids feel heavy and swollen from all the crying. Your head is aching more than it has ever been because you no longer have a conversation with your boyf—ex-boyfriend—to distract you from the pain. The physical one, at least.
You don’t know how and when sleep finds you. All you know is that before your drift into unconsciousness, all you can think of is whether Minho is feeling the same pain as you are or if he feels nothing but pure relief at the end of this chapter.
(Chan, Felix and Seungmin come over the next night with pizza, ice cream, and a mountain of sugary snacks to pig out on, occasionally pausing your movie marathon to wrap you in hugs as you cry.)
You never called Minho after that night, he didn’t seem any more eager to keep in touch either, and so the two of you drifted apart just like that. Like beautiful strangers, perhaps.
“I’m over him,” is what you announce to your three best friends at an impromptu hang-out at Felix’s a few months after the break-up. You just beat all three of them at Mario Kart (what a legend!), and perhaps the triumph coursing through your veins has led you to make this confident declaration.
‘The Aussie bros’ (as you liked to call Chan and Felix—ironically they also chose Mario and Luigi as their players, talk about friendship goals) exchange worried glances as Seungmin speaks.
“That’s great!” he says, eyes crinkling into gentle crescents as he pats your knee encouragingly. “Maybe you can reach out to him when you’re ready, but I’m happy that you can acknowledge that you’re doing better! Right, guys?”
Felix nods enthusiastically. “Totally! This all must’ve been really hard on you, and we’re happy that you’re both moving on amicably and just...living your best lives!”
You smile, but it falls slightly when you notice Chan’s tightly-knit brows as he stares down at his controller, seemingly lost in thought. “Chan?” you ask softly. “Is everything okay?”
The oldest boy snaps out of his daze. “Oh, yeah! I’m fine! Just spaced out, you know? So, uh...who wants to pick the next course?”
Now it’s your turn to frown as you note his eagerness to change the subject. “Chan, if this is about Minho, you can tell me. I promise I’m okay with it.” The firmness in your tone indicates that there’s no keeping this from you, not if it also concerns you.
Chan sighs and turns to you with an apologetic look. “The thing is...Minho texted us a few days ago saying that his flight back here is tonight, so—you know the new carnival by the boardwalk near the beach?”
“Yeah?” Where is this going?
“Well, he wants to check it out, and...” he looks to the two younger boys for confirmation, and they nod, silently urging him to continue. “And he said you should come if you’re up for it...just to catch up and stuff...”
“Oh,” is all you say. It feels like you’ve been doused in a bucket of ice water because you’re frozen on the spot, not expecting Minho to suggest such a thing and that (if you’re going) you’d be seeing him so soon, especially when you haven’t really spoken to him since you broke up.
Your pride is probably too big for your own good, and you’re determined to prove to your friends that you are an adult! And you’re going to deal with this like one and not freak out!
“Uh, yeah! Sure! Why not? We’re all friends, right? Just five happy buddies hanging out at the carnival!”
Seungmin once told you that you tend to ramble a lot when you’re nervous. You can definitely see it now. A point for Kim Seungmin and none for you.
Felix’s gaze is sympathetic when he speaks. “Y/N, it’s okay if you don’t want to. We don’t want to pressure you into meeting him again if that’s not what you’re comfortable with at the moment.” Chan and Seungmin quietly voice their agreement.
“No, no. It’s fine, guys. I promise! It’ll be fine and we’ll all have a great time,” you assure them by trying to sound as convincing as possible. But it’s an unspoken fact that if anything, you’re really just trying to convince yourself.
“Well, if you’re sure, then okay!” Felix chirps brightly to lighten the mood. “He’s meeting us there so we can pick you up on the way! Now, I think it’s my turn to pick the course...let’s do Rainbow Road!”
Seungmin groans at his choice. “You just want to see me place last again, don’t you?”
“No, I want to see Chan place last again.”
“Hey!”
So the game resumes, and for an hour you’ve completely forgotten about the conversation because of all the screaming and shouting and “God-fucking-dammit, Felix! Stop blue-shelling me!”
When Chan drove you and Seungmin home that night, you told yourself again and again that you’ve gotten over Minho. Completely. Most certainly. Undoubtedly. Yep, totally over him! Look at you go!
But that all changed as soon as you got into bed, and your head won’t stop replaying the conversation that took place earlier.
Were you truly ready to see your ex (who you may or may not are still in love with) again? What if he told you all that he’s seeing someone new? Would you be able to take the news well, at least in front of your friends, and hold back any form of negative emotions until you’re back in the safety of your apartment?
In the middle of the night, a dream so tangible, so vivid and so real jolted you awake from your slumber. You reached up to touch your cheeks to find them wet with tears. The ache in your chest felt familiar, bringing you back to that night when your heart was shattered by the boy you love.
And it’s then when you decided that despite everything you’ve been telling your friends and yourself, that no, you’re not ready at all. Because if you can’t even handle seeing him in a dream, how can you expect yourself to react differently seeing him in person?
(At three in the morning, your shaky fingers texted the group chat you shared with your three friends that you weren’t going to make it tomorrow because you weren’t feeling well, before tossing your phone aside and rolling over to let sleep overtake you once again. They knew it was a lie, but they’d understand.)
You think that fate is like your 5-year-old cousin who you occasionally babysit—they both don’t fucking listen. But at least little Wooyoung can be adorable sometimes. Fate? Yeah, not so much.
Whoever is controlling this stimulation that people like to call “life” is probably looking down at you gleefully with a bucket of popcorn, eagerly waiting for everything to unfold.
Just as you thought you had gotten over Lee Minho from barely having any form of contact with him, he still somehow finds his way back into your life.
It’s a few years later, you graduated from university and are working at a regular firm, just living a regular life as a regular person. You haven’t seen Minho in years, rejecting your friends every time they invite you to hang out with them when you know he’s going to be there too. You think you’re going to go the rest of your life avoiding anything that has to do with him.
Chan says this isn’t really a healthy coping mechanism, but you’re doing fine. Occasionally. When you’re not thinking about him. But as long as you don’t see Minho, you’ll be okay. Right? That’s what you kept telling yourself, and for the most part it seems to be working fine.
Until your manager walks into the office with someone who looks far too familiar right beside her and listening along as your manager blabbers on about God-knows-what.
Immediately, you drop to the ground and crawl under the desk before Minho can see you because what the fuck is he doing at your workplace?
Your coworkers and friends, Ryujin and Seonghwa, who sit across from you, peer down with curious and slightly alarmed expressions.
“Y/N? What’s wrong?” the latter asks worriedly. “Why are you down there?”
“I...dropped a pen?”
Ryujin looks over her shoulder before quickly turning back to you. “Well, you better pick that pen up now, because Park is headed right this way with the new guy!” she whisper-yells.
With no other choice, you heave a heavy sigh and get up from your spot on the floor, adjusting your work attire and feigning oblivion to your approaching manager and ex-boyfriend by pretending to type something on your computer.
“Guys,” Park addresses the three of you, and as soon as you look up from your “work”, you can see the surprise that flashes across Minho’s face before he reverts his expression to a neutral one. “This is Minho, he just transferred here. I expect you all to do your best in making him feel welcome here.” Her usual piercing stare seems to target you specifically, but that’s likely just from your nervousness and shock towards the whole situation.
Honestly, your mind is still reeling. You can’t imagine the chaos that will ensue when you tell Chan, Felix and Seungmin about this. Or did they already know but didn’t tell you so you wouldn’t freak out?
You and your coworkers nod, and Park turns to march in the opposite direction, muttering something about showing Minho the rest of the office and gesturing with her head for him to follow. You don’t spare them another glance, but out of the corner of your eye you see Minho look back at you.
“Y/N, do you know the new guy?” Ryujin asks once they’re out of earshot.
“I was gonna ask that too,” Seonghwa pipes up, having paused his typing to give this conversation his full attention. “He looked like he recognised you.”
There are too many things going on at this moment. You don’t know what it is you’re feeling—shock from seeing him again after so long? Regret for not doing better to keep in touch with him after your break-up? Sadness because someone you were so close to, who might as well be a complete stranger now, is in your life again when you tried so hard to erase all traces of him from it?
Probably all of the above.
“It’s a long story,” you admit finally.
“Ooh, I do love stories,” Ryujin says cheekily, leaning across the table eagerly for your elaboration.
You flick her forehead lightly. “Maybe another time,” you say, “let’s just get back to work before Park notices that we’re gossiping and separates us.”
“What is this, high school?” Seonghwa grumbles, turning back to his computer begrudgingly, but you all wouldn’t put it past your strict manager to do something like that.
It’s half an hour until your lunch break when you’re in the break room making yourself another cup of coffee, silently rejoicing over getting to eat soon (and maybe telling Ryujin and Seonghwa about how you know Minho), as well as the fact that Minho’s seat seems to be far away from yours, at least enough that you haven’t seen him around your side of the office for the past few hours.
But of course, fate has other plans for you.
“Hey.”
You still at sound of his voice. It’s exactly the same as it was back then, you note. It’s like nothing has changed. Except it’s the complete opposite.
You force the most natural smile you can muster on your face as you turn to him. He’s still so pretty, if not even more so, with his sparkly feline-like eyes and sleek dark hair styled impeccably with gel. “Oh, hi, Minho.”
He tucks his hand into his pant pockets casually, but his tone betrays the awkward tension between you. “It’s been a while...”
“Yeah, it has...” Four years, to be exact.
“Are you doing okay?” Are you?
“Um...yeah, just the usual, you know? What about you? You said you transferred here?”
He nods, eyes trained on your fingers tapping the buttons on the coffee machine before it whirs and begins filling your mug with espresso. “Yep. Was working at the branch near my university, but they asked me if I wanted to move back here, and I thought I might as well...Closer to home and all that...”
“Right.”
“So, um...do you want to get lunch together later? To catch up and stuff.”
This is giving you déjà vu because you know you’ve had this conversation with Chan, Felix and Seungmin all those years ago about that stupid carnival. Funny how you still remember.
“I...I’m...”
“Please?” Minho pleads. “You don’t have to if you really don’t want to, but I...I don’t know...I want to talk to you, hear about how you’ve been these last few years, all that...”
You don’t miss Ryujin and Seonghwa not-so-subtly watching the two of you from their seats, which have an excellent view of where you’re currently standing in the break room.
“Uh, okay.” You’re not sure what compels you to say this. In fact, you really feel like kicking yourself because just a few hours ago you were crouched under your fucking desk to avoid Lee Minho, and now you’re agreeing to have lunch with him.
You don’t know what you’re doing. But perhaps that small part of you, the part that’s sick of all this dodging and avoiding, has finally took charge for once.
You’re not sure if you like it or hate it.
Over a meal of ramen, Minho updates you on everything that’s been going on in his life. Apparently, he’s adopted another cat, and he tells you about how it had to move across the country with him. He also talks about the friends he made in university and at the other branch he worked at, and how they’re planning to visit him here soon.
In return, you find yourself slowly opening up about more details of your life. Minus the part that you think you’re still in love with him, obviously. If anything, you force those feelings down with every bite of food, knowing that the both of you have grown exponentially since your break-up and that you were most likely in love with the past version of Minho, not the one sitting in front of you currently. It wouldn’t be fair to jump into a romantic relationship with him again so soon.
As the two of you walk back to your office building, he shyly asks if you can start over as friends. You agree, realising how much you missed him as someone you could talk about anything to, and the smile he gives you after that fills your chest with more warmth than you liked to admit.
Months after Minho reentered into your life, the two of you have gotten much closer. Not as close as when you were dating, but you’ve also definitely moved past the point of acquaintances or casual friends.
He’s over at your place one Friday night to watch The Great British Bake Off with you while stuffing yourselves with Chinese food. You had asked him about his cats, and he assured you that his roommate, Changbin, looks after them when he’s away.
He showed you a photo of his friend, and while he’s not quite your type (and because you still have feelings for a certain someone who should not be named in this household), you have to admit Changbin’s pretty cute with his squishy cheeks, pouty lips and tattooed arms.
You’re not much of a baker, but you can definitely relate to the mid-life crises the contestants are having because you’re exactly the same when you have deadlines to meet and somehow still have it in you to procrastinate.
The two of you are sitting pretty close to each other on your couch, though there is still a considerable amount of distance between your bodies. But Minho’s arm, which is casually draped over the couch cushion behind you and hence dangerously close to touching your shoulders, isn’t helping at all.
You hate (but do you really?) how your heart still races whenever he’s near you despite after all these years, but you don’t dare do anything about it because Minho is probably just trying to mend your friendship with no interest in a romantic relationship.
One of the contestant lets out a sound of aggravation because their soufflé just sank, and all you can think of as the camera gets a close-up of the deflated dessert is, big mood.
Many, many episodes later, you don’t know what you’re doing anymore (but let’s be real, when do you ever?). All you know is that you’re on the verge of being lulled to sleep from the long day of work, and when you crane your head to see if Minho feels as drowsy as you are, you find him already staring. Your heart stops beating for a second as your eyes meet.
“Uh...is there something on my face?”
Minho wants to say “only beauty” but ultimately decides against it. “No, I just want to look at you.”
Despite the heat that crawls up your neck, you manage to reply with, “Pack it up, Edward Cullen.”
He chuckles as he leans back against the couch. “I guess I’m trying to commit everything about you to memory?”
“We’ve been hanging out for months now?”
“Compared to four years of losing all contact, these past few months are practically nothing.”
“Practically nothing?” You bring your hand up to clutch at your heart. “I’m hurt, Minho. Do I mean nothing to you?”
His smile drops as though you just said something incredibly offensive. “No,” he says seriously. “In fact, it’s the complete opposite. You mean more to me than you think.”
You blink at him owlishly. What the fuck? “Uh...are you okay? Are you feverish? Did I hear you right?”
Minho sighs. “Yes, no, and yes. You heard me just fine. I’m saying that I still love you, and not just in the friend way. I’m sorry for hurting you so deeply by breaking up with you. Don’t think for a moment that I wanted to do it.
“At the time, I thought it was the best decision for us because we were barely communicating, and I didn’t want to end things only when they got ugly. Maybe I didn’t show it much on the outside, but I promise you that I was devastated and regretted ever bringing up the subject of breaking up. All of this is to say...I miss you...so fucking much. And I never stopped loving you.”
You don’t even realise that you’ve been crying until you feel the droplets sliding off your chin and landing into your shirt. You thought that you’d only hear these words from him in your wildest dreams, because surely he’d moved on from your past relationship and wanted to leave it behind.
But Lee Minho is here, in your living room, with The Great British Bake Off playing distantly in the background and takeout left forgotten on your coffee table, confessing to you that he is still in love with you, like how you never stopped loving him.
This is all so much. So much so that you bring your knees up to your chin and curl up into a ball, burying your head in your arms as you cry silently. You don’t keep track of how long has passed (ten minutes? Half an hour? One hour?) before Minho speaks again, this time sounding much more vulnerable than you’ve ever heard him, save for the night of the break-up.
“I know this is a lot to process, and you don’t have to give me an answer immediately, but...can we try again? For real this time.”
You don’t have to wait to give him a response. Even though you’re still crying, one of your hands feels around the smooth leather of the couch to find Minho’s before interlacing your fingers together.
He gives you the space you need as your quiet sobs gradually come to a stop, his thumb brushing gently against the back of your hand as a constant reminder that he’s still there, and he doesn’t plan on leaving for as long as you let him stay in your life.
That night, the two of you start over. It’s almost like reaching for a story you never finished writing, turning over a new page to start fresh.
To hopefully create something even more beautiful.
For once, maybe fate actually listened to your heart.
a/n: and she’s finally here!! i hope this was somewhat worth the wait and again, i’m so sorry for taking so long to finish this 🥺 i didn’t expect to write this much but then more ideas kept coming and i didn’t want anything in their relationship to happen too abruptly,,,please do let me know what you think, thank you so much for reading and i hope you’re having a good day!! 💕
please do consider leaving feedback whether it’s a reblog, a reply or an ask, it would mean the absolute world to me as feedback really motivates and supports creators 🥺 remember you can always chat with me through my asks and i’m here for you!! 💕
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Idol/Group
Genre
Prompt
groups I’m comfy to write as i know them better
monsta x
astro
vixx
skz
sf9
day6
wannaone
produce x 101
svt
Jesus, it’s been a while, huh? Sorry for the long wait guys!
Description: Being the new kid isn’t easy, especially not when you’re confronted with one of the biggest troublemakers in school. But soon you get to know the real side of him
Other parts
——————————–
“How did it go?” Andrea asked you through the phone. It was 9pm right now and you were laying in bed talking to her. You had promised her to tell her about the date and here you were, keeping your promise. “It went really good to be honest. I loved it!” you said smiling to yourself. “What did you guys do?” she asked, probably smiling on the other side. “We went to the bowling center and then we went to the coffee shop…after that he took me to his place to watch a movie.” you answered. You felt yourself smiling at the thought of it.
I was rereading all the chapters for how many times already while waiting for an update, i cried seeing the update today . Huhuhu thank you so much ♡♡♡
Hai ~ I’m back with Hyungwon’s POV this time, well this could be a side story from Changkyun’s (10pm)
Pairing: Hyungwon/ Somin (OOC)
Summary: When Hyunwon fell for the girl he thought that was perfect for him, but discover she was very far from being the perfect girl he imagined her to be.
Soooonnn~
You guys can check Changkyun’s story while waiting for Hyungwon’s.
Changkyun
Cramps
10pm I
10pm II
10pm
pairing: im changkyun x reader
words: 3090
genre: angst, angst, angst ??? I tried ahahah
warnings: none
rate: g
summary: The moment he realized he had taken you for granted was the moment you walk away from his life.
A/N : I don’t really have a proper fic for this but it is somewhat connected to the other oneshots I made. <3
Cramps : http://brendzybee.tumblr.com/post/165582218066/cramps-lim-changkyun-word-count-1548
Friday evening, 8pm and you can’t wait for it to be Saturday already. You know you love weekdays a lot because , well more time with Changkyun. Your oh so loving boyfriend that only exist in your dreams. Sad life. You like Changkyun a lot ever since you were kids and everyone knows it. Your Parents knows it, Changkyun’s Parents and family knows it. Your neighbors knows it and the whole school knows it. Everybody ships you and Changkyun even the waiter and waitresses from the restaurants and café nearby ships you both.
Well you grew up to be a very bubbly and happy girl that talks a lot, talks to everyone , even talks to objects and animals. There are lots of people who likes you because of your happy and light composure, specially the ajummas and the elders, and you love it too. It feels great to be loved by many, you love it when you see people happy because of you. You can see it when they greeted you with a smile and asks you how is it going with Changkyun and your love story even if they are busy with their own life or it’s none of their business really. People around who knows you and Changkyun for a long time are somewhat entertained with your love team. Some finds you silly , funny and crazy , some also finds you adorable and persistent, there are also people who doesn’t like you of course but it’s a waste of time to talk about them.
Aside from you being happy about how you make other people feel and fell for your charm you also somewhat wish and hope for Changkyun to feel the same, but sadly your still far from it. Changkyun doesn’t like you, he dislike you a lot and finds you annoying and childish . He is vocal about it , same as how vocal you are about liking him , he is vocal about disliking you. Everyone knows it as well. Changkyun dislikes the attention everyone is giving him because of your nonsense. He dislikes it when strangers know him because of your stories and self-made fairy tales. He dislikes it that both of your parents are close and no matter how he distance himself from you still he find himself getting trapped with you. Yes, trapped is the right word because he is never willing. Tho it hurts you most of the time you’ve gotten used to it, a little bit. Even if Changkyun is a meanie and cold towards you most of the time, you know very well that Changkyun is nice because even tho he dislikes you a lot and even tho he was just forced to put up with you, still there are also times that he was caring with you. You know that he was forced by his mom to come and go home from school together with you, tho he hates it there was never a time that he left you alone. He complains and scold you most of the time specially when you are late or being a brat again, but still he waits for you and stay with you. There are really times that he is naturally caring even tho he didn’t intended to be.
You already fell for Changkyun when you were still kids, when he used to be gentler and nicer towards you. You thought it will be gone when you grow up and meet some other guys, but still you like only him. He have broken your heart multiple times , sometimes he is unaware that he is already hurting you emotionally and most of the time he is purposely hurting you to keep you away from him. There are so many times that you considered giving up on him, distancing yourself for a while or shutting down your feelings for him. But sadly it doesn’t work, you’ll end up missing him right away. Or you melting right away if he acts a little nice or sweet or just a little friendly towards you. That’s why in the mids of all the odds , nothing can stop you from falling for him . You are a strong believer that he was for you and you are for him and you think you’re almost getting there. Guess What???? Well, the handsome Changkyun just asked you out for a dinner date. Okay… that was a lie, it’s you who asked him out saying you got those reservation from your parents. And guess what again!! He agreed!!!! What on earth is happening ??? Changkyun just agreed to go on a freaking dinner date with you. Isn’t it surprising ?? Isn’t it amazing ?? And that’s is the reason why you are dying waiting for Saturday to come already.
2pm and you are now getting ready , you are about to meet in a dinner date the mad on your dreams. You both agreed to meet at 5pm. You asked him to just meet in the restaurant where you had reservations with, to add extra effect and impact to your ever first dinner date. You can’t wait to see him get into the restaurant in his best attire. You always see Changkyun around but still you can’t help but wonder what will he be wearing later. Changkyun is always keen and particular in choosing the clothes he wears. Makes him really attractive. You keep on repeating how excited you are and to add up to your excitement. You are planning to confess again this time, in a more sincere way and in a less childish like. You hope this confession would reach Changkyun heart this time or at least move him. Correction guys, You love Changkyun so much , but it never happened that you begged for him to like you back, you just constantly remind him and sometimes bribing him. You laugh wickedly to yourself while staring at the silver chained bracelet that you bought him yesterday. It’s a really simple chained bracelet with his name engraved on it. You’ve given Changkyun so many gifts before but he didn’t like it , because he just don’t. But this time you’ve think really hard to pick this one, hoping he likes it. You’ve seen him wearing one before and it looks really good on him, made him look really manly and boyish at the same time. 100% boyfriend material.
Finally it’s 4pm and you’ve done your major preparation. You prepared extra this time, you exert effort to put on a little make up, you don’t usually do, it was a struggle really. You are a sneaker and jeans type of a girl but you settled will doll shoes and a cute yet casual dress this time. You want to look a little lady like today. Trying to show Changkyun that you are not as childish as what he thinks you are. 4:10pm You texted him “See yah later. J ” you settled with that because you don’t want to annoy him. It was already 4:20 when your brother dropped you off the restaurant. He kissed you good bye and wished you luck on your “First Dinner Date”. Supporting isn’t he?? He is the best brother by the way.
Sanha greeted you right away the moment you got in the restaurant. He was the new part-timer you made friends with few days ago. You liked him a lot and become easily comfortable with him coz hell yeah the guy was as happy and as playful as you. Talk about being talkative too he is that 100%. You asked him how do you look like, how was your make up and dress and he just gave you a thumbs up. “He must be blind if he doesn’t find you really beautiful tonight.” He stated in an awe that made you blush a little that somewhat boosted your confidence. You’ve been nervous since Friday imagining about what will it be like when Changkyun sees you later.
5:30 you got a text from Changkyun that he will be a little late. You smiled at the text , thankful that he really has the intention of coming. “No worries, take your time.” You texted him back. You are doing your best to be consistent of not being annoying for today. “Take care on your way.” You sneak sending him another text which he didn’t replied. He must be driving already. 6:00 the restaurant started getting busy, Sanha asked you for how many already if you wanted to eat something else first or just anything. But of course you declined, you’re not hungry yet, you are more nervous and worried than hungry. 6:30 you started getting a little worried, wondering what’s taking him so long, the place is not that far from home. 7:00 you texted him where is he, asking him if everything was okay, it took him a while to text you back asking for a few minutes more. Your excitement started going down a hint of disappointment started bothering a part of your brain as you watch couples happily chatting and enjoying good food with each other. 7:30 you started to grow impatient and a little hungry and mad. You feel like getting up and just leave the place, but thinking how hard it was to get a chance like this. You tried your best to think of happy things but it’s a mix emotion already, your expectation started failing and you grow a little frustrated thinking the time that should have been spent together is now wasted. 8:00 you felt heart broken and betrayed, you could no longer smile at Sanha every time he’s giving you a worried look. You started to feel so small and a little embarrassed, you started noticing other diners giving you the look. You honestly felt so pathetic for being stood up. You just acted busy with your phone as your insides shuttered , your mind travelling a thousand miles, wondering maybe you expected too much. Thinking you wont be this hurt if you didn’t forget how Changkyun treated you most of the time. Few moments turns to hour of battling with your emotions, you felt like crying how people started vacating their seats and leaving the restaurants. Now you didn’t imagine your ideal and favorite place to have you first dinner date to be this lonely and empty. 9:00 your tear drops fell.
Changkyun’s POV
4:40 I left the house. I’m not really excited of what I’m just curious , I guess. I don’t even know why I agreed to have this little date with you in the first place. So I’ll just settled of you not letting it off if I say no. 5:00 I arrived at the restaurant, your favorite restaurant. I saw you happily chatting with the waiter, who is just around your age. Which is not something new, you always talk to people wherever you go. You look really pretty in your pastel dress by the way. I was about to enter when Jooheon suddenly pulled me to Shownu’s car. You were so busy chatting with the boy to see me I guess. I was so surprised to see the guys, I wasn’t expecting them around and as usual they started teasing me about being totally smitten by you which I always strongly deny and about them showing their full support, but before that we have to do some serious test. It was Jooheon and Wonho’s idea. I just hate it so much when people think ahead of me, as if they already know what will happen , as if they already know what I’m thinking or in short people deciding for me and you do that all the time. Same as how everyone keep on saying that I will soon fall for you. Family and friends keep pushing me to date you for real and I swore so many times already that it wont happen, we are just not compatible with each other. I don’t want to be engage in your oh so social life. I don’t want to be involved in your very flowery fairytales. You made people believe in the Changkyun your imaginations has created when you tell them stories.
That was the stupid reason why I went along with Wonho and Jooheon’s idea to make you wait a little. They’ll just have to see how long you can wait, given they know how impatient and bratty you are. I always act like I didn’t care about your feelings in front of my friends, I just want to prove them wrong about their assumptions. I was curious too, I know you very well, you grew up as a princess at home, a princess to your parents and 2 brothers, and even a princess to my parents who doesn’t have any daughter. I was curious how long can you wait, I was pretty sure too you won’t last and hour too. That’s too long already for someone like you who always get what she wants right away. 5:30 I texted you that I’ll be a little late but I was already there, watching you from a distance. You don’t seem to be bother yet, you have your little friend to keep you accompany anyway. The guys continue teasing me being jealous with the waiter guy or them making scenarios and jokes what will happened to me when we start dating for real. That annoyed me a lot while they were having fun. “Take care on your way.” You texted, I’d be a liar if I say I didn’t feel a little bad about what I’m doing but I can’t say no anymore. It’s like waving the white flag.
6:30 the guys started betting till what time can you wait. Wonho and Jooheon was so into it, while Minhyuk was moderating the bet asking the rest to participate. Hyungwon disinterested as usual and Kihyun was giving everyone a disapproving look. I saw him shaking his head, telling everyone we will regret what we are doing.
7:00 I stared at you as I read what you texted me. I started feeling bad seeing the changes of your expression, the way you pouted your lips and the way you furrow you eyebrows. I’ve read another message from you, I didn’t know what to reply anymore. I was staring at my phone until Jooheon took my phone and replied you to wait some more. I punched Jooheon for that, but honestly I felt like its me me who deserves to be punched right now. I’m so confused I don’t know what I’m feeling. I should be happy right now I was granted my payback for all the things you made me suffer, for all your dramas that I went through. But I don’t feel good at all, I felt worst , I hated myself.
8:00 I heard Jooheon, Minhyuk and Wonho getting really excited, as they saw you stand up and was about to leave. But I was surprised when you just stood there for a couple of minute looking at our direction before going back to your seat and acted busy with your phone. I got really nervous, I thought you’d see us , just to realized Shownu’s car is tinted. That time I wished you just left, I’d wished you’d just leave. I felt my heart beats really fast when your eyes scanned the parking lot, you starred at Shownu’s car for God knows how long. I felt ashamed, I felt so embarrassed, it felt like I was caught red handed. For the first time, I felt so guilty for being mean to you.
9:00 Your tear drops fell and I felt pain I can’t explain as I saw the look in your eyes and the expression of your face. I heard everyone, went silent. “Game over” Hyungwon said with a sigh while Kihyun giving us the look as if he was saying “I told you, you’ll regret it.” And I was there paralyzed unable to move.
~End of Changkyun’s POV~
It was around 8:00 when you received an anonymous text telling you about the bet going on and just asking you to go home. You didn’t believe at first, you can’t help it from poisoning your mind. You wanted to go home and just cry your heart out but you wanted to see Changkyun and hear it straight from him.
You really love Changkyun so much, but you felt nothing but pain right now as you see him walk going to your seat. Part of you wished he would just reason out or lie perhaps but you just don’t know anymore which is better, coz all hurt the same. Your teary eyes never left his as he occupied the seat in front of you.
“You’re a little late.” You asked smiling while wiping your tears.
“Did you had fun with your little game?” You asked once more.
“I’m sorry” was the only thing you heard from him, he can’t even look straight at you.
You tried your best not to cry anymore but your tears just keep on streaming as you heard his answer and you’ve made everything is so clear to you now.
“No, It’s okay.. I’m sorry it took me a while to finally understand. I must be really stupid to wait to be hurt like this to understand how you really felt for me.” You stated, you saw him stared at you with confusion and regret in his face.
“ Don’t worry this will be the last time. I’ll stop fighting for your attention, I’ll stop texting you, I’ll stop going to your profile and getting jealous over other girls you are friendly with, I’ll stop trying making you fall for me. Please help me, and please stay away from me.” You pleaded as you collected your things and walk going out the door when he held your wrist.
“Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone, our families won’t know about this. And by the way, this was supposed to be yours, you can throw it if you don’t like it.” You said as you handed him the small box you’ve been dying to give him.
10:00pm You gave up your first love.
10:00pm He lost you for good.
A/N: T_T
pairing: im changkyun x reader
words: 3,580
genre: angst, angst, angst ??? I tried ahahah
warnings: none
rate: g
summary: The moment he realized he had taken you for granted was the moment you walk away from his life.
10PM (Part I)
A/N : Oh haii, so I just happened to make a part II of this , just finished my final exam and now bored waiting for my brother to pick me up from school T_T. Enjoyyy <3
Changkyun’s POV
11pm, Saturday, I’m currently at Jooheon’s place together with the guys, everyone were silent for a moment but Minhyuk decided to kill the silence and suggested to have a beer. Jooheon and Wonho cheered and the rest just agreed about it, while for me I think I needed few cans of it. My mind is floating, y/n’s face is still very clear in my head. Right now I’m contemplating how will I text her, or should I call her. I know it should be the best thing that I should do, but I can’t seem to have the courage to do so. This feeling of guilt is just so new to me, I’ve been holding my phone for a while waiting for her to text me how angry she was, how she hates me. I think that would be better than not getting any, it seriously makes me anxious.
“So Changkyun what are you gonna do about it?” Shownu asked after taking the last gulp from his can before tossing it to the bin. I just shrug taking a sip from my can as well.
“You know what? Given y/n’s attitude I think she will just sleep her anger away and be after you again the next day.” Minhyuk said while munching his pizza.
“Me too, me too, y/n is sure to be head over heels with you Kkung.” Jooheon seconded nudging me in the shoulder.
“It’s hard to be really handsome.” Wonho stated before laughing. They are having fun with their conversation when Kihyun harshly slam the can on the table. He’s been grumpy the whole time but this no longer surprise everyone since Kihyun’s reaction over things is always different from the rest. He has always been the mother of the group, in the sense of nagging about everything, think he is the only one who is rational. Well there are times that he really is the most rational.
“That’s my point Changkyun-ah, haven’t you realized it by now? Y/n likes you a lot, for the longest time now and what did you do? You’ve taken her for granted.” He said raising his voice, obviously mad as he finally voiced out his frustration and here I am, I can’t even answer back. I felt guilty and stupid enough.
“Kihyun-ah stop acting like a girl, just drink already. It was our idea Changkyun was just dragged with us.” Wonho said rubbing Kihyun’s back trying to calm him.
“Yes hyung, yes on Monday I will go to y/n and explain everything to her, I’ll take all the blame. Please don’t kill the fun now.” Jooheon said while making cute faces trying to make Kihyun laugh.
“Tsk, you two! Remember what I’ve told you, you will both regret this, I know right now you won’t understand, I just hope you won’t taste your own medicine.” Kihyun said slapping Jooheon’s face away while Wonho laugh loudly.
“HA! As if I would ever fall in love. There are so many girls out there lining up for me.” He added finishing the content of his can.
Sunday was torture, it’s the longest Sunday I ever had. I finally texted y/n that I was really sorry and told her I would buy her whatever desserts she likes. I even texted her that I would go to the amusement park with her but she didn’t reply any of it. She won’t answer my calls as well. As much as I hate to admit it, it feels a little weird not receiving lots of messages from her. Or was I just so used always getting flooded with messages and whatever from her. My phone feels a little lonely and boring since it’s so silent. It’s already past dinner yet I still have full battery, my phone battery doesn’t usually last this long because of receiving lots of notifications from her. From random text, chat and just what so ever. I remember her sending me pictures of cute cats she wants to pet but obliviously can’t since she’s allergic to it. And also her sending me pictures of cactus, saying she wanted to pet it since she doesn’t need to water it every day. Y/n seriously needs to grow up. I suddenly question what I was doing realizing, I’m scrolling up her chatbox.
Monday morning, I woke up extra early so I could go to her house and pick her up for school. I’m sure she will play sulky for a moment but will surely talk to me after few minutes. Especially now I prepared bribery for her, I bought her favorite strawberry milkshake. Well I’m not sure if she likes having it early in the morning, but she usually likes everything that I gave her. As what I’ve remembered I usually give her snacks, since she likes eating a lot and I just honestly don’t know what else does she like aside from food. I didn’t text her that I’ll be picking her up early, I’m thinking of just waiting for her to come out so we could go to school together. But it’s almost 8am and she ain’t around yet, I was about to walk in when I saw her brother, he greeted me good morning with a confused tone. “I thought, y/n informed you to just meet in school since she had a sleep over at Eun Hae’s (ur bff’s name) place since they have this morning activity with their groupmates.” Her brother stated that got me confused to, I don’t remember her saying any of that. “Aww, I didn’t know that was today, I might just have missed the dates. Thanks Hyung.” I just ended up saying before bidding him goodbye.
The entire day at school feels a little unusual, I can’t find y/n in the place she usually stay or walk by. She used to always visit and stay in the bench where I and my friends stay, I didn’t see her at the cafeteria today as well. I wonder if she had eaten her lunch. “Looking for someone?” Wonho laughed while nudging me as he placed his food on the table. “Yeah, it feels new not seeing y/n around.” Jooheon seconded with a fake pout. “You think, she’s really serious about giving up on Changkyun this time?” Minhyuk asked in wonder. That also got me wondering if she’s really going to give up for real this time. I don’t know why but I felt a pang of pain in my chest hearing that, it felt empty. I know it’s really wrong and selfish but I wish she won’t seriously give up on me yet. Feeling slightly threatened with the possibilities, I texted her again. A long and sincere one. Telling her how sorry I was and I really wanted to talk to her personally. It was around 3pm, in the middle of my last class when I finally got a reply from her. She agreed to just talk on our way home, and hell yeah it’s one of the new feelings I’ve been having lately, I’m nervous to see her, I’ve been contemplating what will I say to her. Y/n what have I done and what should I do?
Y/n’s POV
You felt really sick the entire weekend, crying over and telling Eunhae about everything that happened. Eunhae was so mad about everyone and in the midst of all that happened she didn’t say much, she was just there and listened to you all the way. You are really thankful you have your only best friend, if not you have no idea how you will be able to act as if nothing happened at home. Your family is really close to each other and talking about your feelings for Changkyun is a normal topic at home and of course your mom will openly talk about it to Changkyun’s mom. That’s how twisted everything is, and this time you don’t want anything of that. You felt really bad already and as much as possible you don’t want anyone to know about it, specially both of your families.
You were having stages of grief over your lost love. That Saturday night you were so angry and mad at Changkyun, you seriously want to slap him and his friends. How dare they made fun of you. But later on, you’re a crying mess, realizing your worth in Changkyun’s heart. By this time you are really sure that he doesn’t really feel anything for you, because if he does he will never toy with you, he will never toy with your feelings. He will never let his friends make fun of you. You’re used to him being mean and cold to you, that hurts a lot but that is somewhat better. At least he isn’t lying, at least he wasn’t leading you on. But this time it’s different, it’s the first time he toyed with your feelings like this, you were so happy and excited to just let your heart break. Changkyun is really your first love and also your first heart break.
You promised to yourself before that you will never give up on him. You promised to yourself before that you will be with him and fight for him as long as he doesn’t have anyone yet. But now you realized how pathetic that promise was. You realized it’s not Changkyun’s fault alone, it’s yours as well. You’ve been forcing your feelings for him, you’ve been fooling yourself that there is a possibility of you and him. You live in your own bubble, pretending you don’t know his feelings, denying the fact that he doesn’t really liked you from the start. You always make his small gesture matter, making it a big deal to feed your own satisfaction when in fact it doesn’t really meant anything. Now you’re not just crying because he toyed with your feelings, now you’re also crying because you finally accepted the reality that nothing is really left for you and him. It’s so painful that it’s hard to breathe and cry at the same time. Words are not even enough to express the pain you are feeling right now. You are torn between missing him and the imagination of him missing you as well, but you know it’s not the real thing. Plus remembering you words at the restaurant, your pride won’t allow you to make your words into nothing. Yes, you admit that you can really be bratty and childish at times, prideful and unforgiving as well. Changkyun knew that very well, but still he decided to hurt you that way.
“ Don’t worry this will be the last time. I’ll stop fighting for your attention, I’ll stop texting you, I’ll stop going to your profile and getting jealous over other girls you are friendly with, I’ll stop trying making you fall for me. Please help me, and please stay away from me.”
it’s not the first time you’ve said that you’re giving up on him. But this time you’re so determined to stick to your words, you’re so hurt and tired to go after a love only you wants in the very first place.
Monday as much as you don’t want to go to school, you don’t have a choice. It’s better to be busy at school than to mourn at your best friend’s house. You purposely made yourself really busy, volunteering to do tasks that’s not even yours. It may sound that you are avoiding him but yeah it’s really true, you don’t want to see him. Seeing him might change the decision you made over night , and you’re still so hurt to see him as well. You read his text, saying sorry as if what he did was nothing serious. He even offered to buy you anything or go with you anywhere, if it was some other time you would feel really happy about it, but this time you felt really annoyed reading it. You’re not in the mood to entertain butterfly in your stomach. Changkyun can really be stupid at times.
It was 2:30 in the afternoon, it was your break and you made used of it to just buy snacks you can eat on the way to the auditorium. And that’s the time you saw Changkyun’s bestfriend Jooheon walking his way towards you. He called your attention and jogged to your place as he noticed you walking away from him. “Y/n wait” He panted while holding your wrist. “What do you want Jooheon?” You asked directly , sounding pissed. “Y/n I’m really sorry okay? It was mine and Wonho hyung’s fault. Changkyun really doesn’t have any idea that we would be there. Y/n please.” Jooheon pleaded naturally like its no big deal. “Did Changkyun asked you to do this?” You asked and Jooheon instantly deny it and started explaining everything that happened during that time. Saying it was his and Wonho’s idea, he was the one holding Changkyun’s phone, saying he was the one who insisted the bet. Saying Changkyun was just forced to go along to the idea of testing me.
Hearing about him wanting to test your feelings really hurt you. Was your effort not enough? Was the way you’re expressing your feelings not enough? You are a woman too, You wished to experience someone who will sincerely like you and go after you. Someone that would make your heart flutter over trivial stuffs such as text, flowers, effort and time. But you have given up all of that because of Changkyun, because you know he will never do that for you.
3pm, you received another text from him, he was apologizing again and asking you if you could talk. “Fine, let’s talk.” You texted him back as you wipe your tears walking your way to the auditorium.
4:30pm the talk in the auditorium was over already, you didn’t even know what the hell they are talking about inside. You were so busy contemplating your emotions , your mind is flying somewhere. Thinking of possible scenarios how to make Changkyun regret for what he did, you’re thinking of how to get back at him and at least hurt him the way he has hurted you or at least make him a little sad as well, it’s not fair that it’s only you who’s suffering. You took a deep breath, counting 1-10 to composure yourself and act as cold as possible as you walk going to the car park. You saw him standing there, his back leaning on the door frame of his car. Damn it, here goes your heart getting excited in an appropriate time again. You stand there and tried to calm yourself , remembering the things that hurts you, thinking the guy you hurt you , the guy who toy with your feelings is just there standing in front of you. And as if in cue, Changkyun turned to your direction and saw you. Not unlike his usual self, he doesn’t look as confident as he used to be, he looked anxious, well this is new. Reminds you of what happened, now it starts clouding in your chest, its heavy and suffocating. You got inside the car without greeting him anyway. “You wanna go somewhere….I mean is there a place you wanted to go so we could talk?” Changkyun carefully asked while turning the engine on. “No, let’s just talk here.” You stated as cold as possible, you can feel how tensed he was as he turned the engine off and sit up properly after letting out a deep breath, how the shortest time you are together this afternoon you can’t count already how many deep breath and sighs coming from him. “You can start reciting your lies now, so we could finish this talk early.” You said feeling proud of yourself as you voice didn’t crack. You saw him sighed and turned to face you. “Look Y/n, I know you’re still so mad or even hated me right now but still I want to tell you I’m really sorry for what happened. I felt so bad about it too, I hated myself for making it happen too. But please hear me out.” You sighed hearing him, fisting your palm trying your best to control your emotions, trying your best to stop the tears from spilling from your eyes. “It may sound that I’m just justifying myself but I don’t really have any idea that they’re going to be there. I really had the intention to be there with you. They told me that we’re just going to make you wait a little, I agreed because they keep on teasing me and I was a little curious too, I know that was stupid. But as I was thinking, you won’t notice it anyway since you were so busy chatting with the waiter friend of yours, I thought it wouldn’t matter much as well. Just enough for them to go away, but everything just went out of hand.” He paused looking at you, trying to wait for your response but you decided to stay silent and not say anything. “You have all the right to hate me for making you wait that long. And about what you said that night, Y/n I didn’t do it because I hated you. I may not like it when people and our family go before me and pushed me to be with you and reciprocate your feelings but I never hated you for that. It may be really easy for you to express how you feel for me but that does not work for me Y/n. You know I’m not as expressive as you are, I’m not as sociable as you are, I enjoy my peace and privacy. I just simply didn’t like it, that’s why I easily get annoyed and frustrated every time they tease me with you. Maybe that’s the reason why I wasn’t able to stop them from betting that night. I know it’s stupid, but I didn’t mean to hurt you that night.” He said, brushing his fingers in his hair in frustration. This time you were unable to stop your tears from streaming, everything just came back to your mind as if everything happened at the moment, you’re no longer mad , just hurt about the reality that he’s talking about.
“I know, Jooheon told me everything already.” You started with your head low not even giving him a look. “I don’t know what more about my feelings you wanted to test more. Are my efforts not enough? I don’t know why I’m getting so worked up over it, it’s just waiting. Changkyun I can wait for you for how long, I’ve waited for you for the longest time already. How much more just 5pm to 10pm, that should be nothing. Changkyun I really like you, No, I really love you, did you think that’s really easy for me to say? I’m hesitating as well, I’m hesitating every time I get rejected because of your cold treatment and constantly pushing me away. Did you think I don’t get nervous all the time I’m with you, especially when your friends are around? It’s the time where you’re colder and meaner than usual btw. But did you heard me complained about that, did I hated you for that? Changkyun I didn’t because I wanted this in the first place. I can’t even hate you after what you did that night. You know what’s hurting me more this time? Giving up the feelings I had for you for a very long time. My feelings are becoming clearer I’m falling really hard for you and this onesided love is getting a little toxic in my heart.” You closed your eyes fervently, taking a deep breath afraid of what he might say. You heard him sigh once more unable to collect his words.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know, I – I don’t know what to say Y/n.” Was the only words he came up to, it hurts but you actually felt lighter than yesterday. Confessing him everything you’re bottling up to, actually made it a little better.
“It’s okay, I doesn’t matter anymore. It’ll be fine, It’ll forget about it in few days. I also wanted to tell you without sounding awkward, It might be childish but Changkyun you were my first love, I’ll stop there I’ve confessed too much already.” You faked a laugh before continuing. “ Just give me due time and I’ll be back being that annoying little girl who follows you and your brother around when we were kids.” You smiled sincerely thinking about the old times, as you gather all your force to open the door.
“Where are you going?” He asked holding your wrist.
“I promised Eunhae, I’ll go home with her.” The last thing you said before stepping out of his car.
A/N: WAAAAAHHHH I don’t know what going on there mwahhaahah @_@ Forgive me for I just write what ever that comes to my mind. I didn’t review and reread this btw , so forgive me as well for the lapses. Huhuhu I’d love to hear from you guys. <3
pairing: im changkyun x reader
words: 3,580
genre: angst, angst, angst ??? I tried ahahah
warnings: none
rate: g
summary: The moment he realized he had taken you for granted was the moment you walk away from his life.
10PM (Part I)
A/N : Oh haii, so I just happened to make a part II of this , just finished my final exam and now bored waiting for my brother to pick me up from school T_T. Enjoyyy <3
Changkyun’s POV
11pm, Saturday, I’m currently at Jooheon’s place together with the guys, everyone were silent for a moment but Minhyuk decided to kill the silence and suggested to have a beer. Jooheon and Wonho cheered and the rest just agreed about it, while for me I think I needed few cans of it. My mind is floating, y/n’s face is still very clear in my head. Right now I’m contemplating how will I text her, or should I call her. I know it should be the best thing that I should do, but I can’t seem to have the courage to do so. This feeling of guilt is just so new to me, I’ve been holding my phone for a while waiting for her to text me how angry she was, how she hates me. I think that would be better than not getting any, it seriously makes me anxious.
“So Changkyun what are you gonna do about it?” Shownu asked after taking the last gulp from his can before tossing it to the bin. I just shrug taking a sip from my can as well.
“You know what? Given y/n’s attitude I think she will just sleep her anger away and be after you again the next day.” Minhyuk said while munching his pizza.
“Me too, me too, y/n is sure to be head over heels with you Kkung.” Jooheon seconded nudging me in the shoulder.
“It’s hard to be really handsome.” Wonho stated before laughing. They are having fun with their conversation when Kihyun harshly slam the can on the table. He’s been grumpy the whole time but this no longer surprise everyone since Kihyun’s reaction over things is always different from the rest. He has always been the mother of the group, in the sense of nagging about everything, think he is the only one who is rational. Well there are times that he really is the most rational.
“That’s my point Changkyun-ah, haven’t you realized it by now? Y/n likes you a lot, for the longest time now and what did you do? You’ve taken her for granted.” He said raising his voice, obviously mad as he finally voiced out his frustration and here I am, I can’t even answer back. I felt guilty and stupid enough.
“Kihyun-ah stop acting like a girl, just drink already. It was our idea Changkyun was just dragged with us.” Wonho said rubbing Kihyun’s back trying to calm him.
“Yes hyung, yes on Monday I will go to y/n and explain everything to her, I’ll take all the blame. Please don’t kill the fun now.” Jooheon said while making cute faces trying to make Kihyun laugh.
“Tsk, you two! Remember what I’ve told you, you will both regret this, I know right now you won’t understand, I just hope you won’t taste your own medicine.” Kihyun said slapping Jooheon’s face away while Wonho laugh loudly.
“HA! As if I would ever fall in love. There are so many girls out there lining up for me.” He added finishing the content of his can.
Sunday was torture, it’s the longest Sunday I ever had. I finally texted y/n that I was really sorry and told her I would buy her whatever desserts she likes. I even texted her that I would go to the amusement park with her but she didn’t reply any of it. She won’t answer my calls as well. As much as I hate to admit it, it feels a little weird not receiving lots of messages from her. Or was I just so used always getting flooded with messages and whatever from her. My phone feels a little lonely and boring since it’s so silent. It’s already past dinner yet I still have full battery, my phone battery doesn’t usually last this long because of receiving lots of notifications from her. From random text, chat and just what so ever. I remember her sending me pictures of cute cats she wants to pet but obliviously can’t since she’s allergic to it. And also her sending me pictures of cactus, saying she wanted to pet it since she doesn’t need to water it every day. Y/n seriously needs to grow up. I suddenly question what I was doing realizing, I’m scrolling up her chatbox.
Monday morning, I woke up extra early so I could go to her house and pick her up for school. I’m sure she will play sulky for a moment but will surely talk to me after few minutes. Especially now I prepared bribery for her, I bought her favorite strawberry milkshake. Well I’m not sure if she likes having it early in the morning, but she usually likes everything that I gave her. As what I’ve remembered I usually give her snacks, since she likes eating a lot and I just honestly don’t know what else does she like aside from food. I didn’t text her that I’ll be picking her up early, I’m thinking of just waiting for her to come out so we could go to school together. But it’s almost 8am and she ain’t around yet, I was about to walk in when I saw her brother, he greeted me good morning with a confused tone. “I thought, y/n informed you to just meet in school since she had a sleep over at Eun Hae’s (ur bff’s name) place since they have this morning activity with their groupmates.” Her brother stated that got me confused to, I don’t remember her saying any of that. “Aww, I didn’t know that was today, I might just have missed the dates. Thanks Hyung.” I just ended up saying before bidding him goodbye.
The entire day at school feels a little unusual, I can’t find y/n in the place she usually stay or walk by. She used to always visit and stay in the bench where I and my friends stay, I didn’t see her at the cafeteria today as well. I wonder if she had eaten her lunch. “Looking for someone?” Wonho laughed while nudging me as he placed his food on the table. “Yeah, it feels new not seeing y/n around.” Jooheon seconded with a fake pout. “You think, she’s really serious about giving up on Changkyun this time?” Minhyuk asked in wonder. That also got me wondering if she’s really going to give up for real this time. I don’t know why but I felt a pang of pain in my chest hearing that, it felt empty. I know it’s really wrong and selfish but I wish she won’t seriously give up on me yet. Feeling slightly threatened with the possibilities, I texted her again. A long and sincere one. Telling her how sorry I was and I really wanted to talk to her personally. It was around 3pm, in the middle of my last class when I finally got a reply from her. She agreed to just talk on our way home, and hell yeah it’s one of the new feelings I’ve been having lately, I’m nervous to see her, I’ve been contemplating what will I say to her. Y/n what have I done and what should I do?
Y/n’s POV
You felt really sick the entire weekend, crying over and telling Eunhae about everything that happened. Eunhae was so mad about everyone and in the midst of all that happened she didn’t say much, she was just there and listened to you all the way. You are really thankful you have your only best friend, if not you have no idea how you will be able to act as if nothing happened at home. Your family is really close to each other and talking about your feelings for Changkyun is a normal topic at home and of course your mom will openly talk about it to Changkyun’s mom. That’s how twisted everything is, and this time you don’t want anything of that. You felt really bad already and as much as possible you don’t want anyone to know about it, specially both of your families.
You were having stages of grief over your lost love. That Saturday night you were so angry and mad at Changkyun, you seriously want to slap him and his friends. How dare they made fun of you. But later on, you’re a crying mess, realizing your worth in Changkyun’s heart. By this time you are really sure that he doesn’t really feel anything for you, because if he does he will never toy with you, he will never toy with your feelings. He will never let his friends make fun of you. You’re used to him being mean and cold to you, that hurts a lot but that is somewhat better. At least he isn’t lying, at least he wasn’t leading you on. But this time it’s different, it’s the first time he toyed with your feelings like this, you were so happy and excited to just let your heart break. Changkyun is really your first love and also your first heart break.
You promised to yourself before that you will never give up on him. You promised to yourself before that you will be with him and fight for him as long as he doesn’t have anyone yet. But now you realized how pathetic that promise was. You realized it’s not Changkyun’s fault alone, it’s yours as well. You’ve been forcing your feelings for him, you’ve been fooling yourself that there is a possibility of you and him. You live in your own bubble, pretending you don’t know his feelings, denying the fact that he doesn’t really liked you from the start. You always make his small gesture matter, making it a big deal to feed your own satisfaction when in fact it doesn’t really meant anything. Now you’re not just crying because he toyed with your feelings, now you’re also crying because you finally accepted the reality that nothing is really left for you and him. It’s so painful that it’s hard to breathe and cry at the same time. Words are not even enough to express the pain you are feeling right now. You are torn between missing him and the imagination of him missing you as well, but you know it’s not the real thing. Plus remembering you words at the restaurant, your pride won’t allow you to make your words into nothing. Yes, you admit that you can really be bratty and childish at times, prideful and unforgiving as well. Changkyun knew that very well, but still he decided to hurt you that way.
“ Don’t worry this will be the last time. I’ll stop fighting for your attention, I’ll stop texting you, I’ll stop going to your profile and getting jealous over other girls you are friendly with, I’ll stop trying making you fall for me. Please help me, and please stay away from me.”
it’s not the first time you’ve said that you’re giving up on him. But this time you’re so determined to stick to your words, you’re so hurt and tired to go after a love only you wants in the very first place.
Monday as much as you don’t want to go to school, you don’t have a choice. It’s better to be busy at school than to mourn at your best friend’s house. You purposely made yourself really busy, volunteering to do tasks that’s not even yours. It may sound that you are avoiding him but yeah it’s really true, you don’t want to see him. Seeing him might change the decision you made over night , and you’re still so hurt to see him as well. You read his text, saying sorry as if what he did was nothing serious. He even offered to buy you anything or go with you anywhere, if it was some other time you would feel really happy about it, but this time you felt really annoyed reading it. You’re not in the mood to entertain butterfly in your stomach. Changkyun can really be stupid at times.
It was 2:30 in the afternoon, it was your break and you made used of it to just buy snacks you can eat on the way to the auditorium. And that’s the time you saw Changkyun’s bestfriend Jooheon walking his way towards you. He called your attention and jogged to your place as he noticed you walking away from him. “Y/n wait” He panted while holding your wrist. “What do you want Jooheon?” You asked directly , sounding pissed. “Y/n I’m really sorry okay? It was mine and Wonho hyung’s fault. Changkyun really doesn’t have any idea that we would be there. Y/n please.” Jooheon pleaded naturally like its no big deal. “Did Changkyun asked you to do this?” You asked and Jooheon instantly deny it and started explaining everything that happened during that time. Saying it was his and Wonho’s idea, he was the one holding Changkyun’s phone, saying he was the one who insisted the bet. Saying Changkyun was just forced to go along to the idea of testing me.
Hearing about him wanting to test your feelings really hurt you. Was your effort not enough? Was the way you’re expressing your feelings not enough? You are a woman too, You wished to experience someone who will sincerely like you and go after you. Someone that would make your heart flutter over trivial stuffs such as text, flowers, effort and time. But you have given up all of that because of Changkyun, because you know he will never do that for you.
3pm, you received another text from him, he was apologizing again and asking you if you could talk. “Fine, let’s talk.” You texted him back as you wipe your tears walking your way to the auditorium.
4:30pm the talk in the auditorium was over already, you didn’t even know what the hell they are talking about inside. You were so busy contemplating your emotions , your mind is flying somewhere. Thinking of possible scenarios how to make Changkyun regret for what he did, you’re thinking of how to get back at him and at least hurt him the way he has hurted you or at least make him a little sad as well, it’s not fair that it’s only you who’s suffering. You took a deep breath, counting 1-10 to composure yourself and act as cold as possible as you walk going to the car park. You saw him standing there, his back leaning on the door frame of his car. Damn it, here goes your heart getting excited in an appropriate time again. You stand there and tried to calm yourself , remembering the things that hurts you, thinking the guy you hurt you , the guy who toy with your feelings is just there standing in front of you. And as if in cue, Changkyun turned to your direction and saw you. Not unlike his usual self, he doesn’t look as confident as he used to be, he looked anxious, well this is new. Reminds you of what happened, now it starts clouding in your chest, its heavy and suffocating. You got inside the car without greeting him anyway. “You wanna go somewhere….I mean is there a place you wanted to go so we could talk?” Changkyun carefully asked while turning the engine on. “No, let’s just talk here.” You stated as cold as possible, you can feel how tensed he was as he turned the engine off and sit up properly after letting out a deep breath, how the shortest time you are together this afternoon you can’t count already how many deep breath and sighs coming from him. “You can start reciting your lies now, so we could finish this talk early.” You said feeling proud of yourself as you voice didn’t crack. You saw him sighed and turned to face you. “Look Y/n, I know you’re still so mad or even hated me right now but still I want to tell you I’m really sorry for what happened. I felt so bad about it too, I hated myself for making it happen too. But please hear me out.” You sighed hearing him, fisting your palm trying your best to control your emotions, trying your best to stop the tears from spilling from your eyes. “It may sound that I’m just justifying myself but I don’t really have any idea that they’re going to be there. I really had the intention to be there with you. They told me that we’re just going to make you wait a little, I agreed because they keep on teasing me and I was a little curious too, I know that was stupid. But as I was thinking, you won’t notice it anyway since you were so busy chatting with the waiter friend of yours, I thought it wouldn’t matter much as well. Just enough for them to go away, but everything just went out of hand.” He paused looking at you, trying to wait for your response but you decided to stay silent and not say anything. “You have all the right to hate me for making you wait that long. And about what you said that night, Y/n I didn’t do it because I hated you. I may not like it when people and our family go before me and pushed me to be with you and reciprocate your feelings but I never hated you for that. It may be really easy for you to express how you feel for me but that does not work for me Y/n. You know I’m not as expressive as you are, I’m not as sociable as you are, I enjoy my peace and privacy. I just simply didn’t like it, that’s why I easily get annoyed and frustrated every time they tease me with you. Maybe that’s the reason why I wasn’t able to stop them from betting that night. I know it’s stupid, but I didn’t mean to hurt you that night.” He said, brushing his fingers in his hair in frustration. This time you were unable to stop your tears from streaming, everything just came back to your mind as if everything happened at the moment, you’re no longer mad , just hurt about the reality that he’s talking about.
“I know, Jooheon told me everything already.” You started with your head low not even giving him a look. “I don’t know what more about my feelings you wanted to test more. Are my efforts not enough? I don’t know why I’m getting so worked up over it, it’s just waiting. Changkyun I can wait for you for how long, I’ve waited for you for the longest time already. How much more just 5pm to 10pm, that should be nothing. Changkyun I really like you, No, I really love you, did you think that’s really easy for me to say? I’m hesitating as well, I’m hesitating every time I get rejected because of your cold treatment and constantly pushing me away. Did you think I don’t get nervous all the time I’m with you, especially when your friends are around? It’s the time where you’re colder and meaner than usual btw. But did you heard me complained about that, did I hated you for that? Changkyun I didn’t because I wanted this in the first place. I can’t even hate you after what you did that night. You know what’s hurting me more this time? Giving up the feelings I had for you for a very long time. My feelings are becoming clearer I’m falling really hard for you and this onesided love is getting a little toxic in my heart.” You closed your eyes fervently, taking a deep breath afraid of what he might say. You heard him sigh once more unable to collect his words.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know, I – I don’t know what to say Y/n.” Was the only words he came up to, it hurts but you actually felt lighter than yesterday. Confessing him everything you’re bottling up to, actually made it a little better.
“It’s okay, I doesn’t matter anymore. It’ll be fine, It’ll forget about it in few days. I also wanted to tell you without sounding awkward, It might be childish but Changkyun you were my first love, I’ll stop there I’ve confessed too much already.” You faked a laugh before continuing. “ Just give me due time and I’ll be back being that annoying little girl who follows you and your brother around when we were kids.” You smiled sincerely thinking about the old times, as you gather all your force to open the door.
“Where are you going?” He asked holding your wrist.
“I promised Eunhae, I’ll go home with her.” The last thing you said before stepping out of his car.
A/N: WAAAAAHHHH I don’t know what going on there mwahhaahah @_@ Forgive me for I just write what ever that comes to my mind. I didn’t review and reread this btw , so forgive me as well for the lapses. Huhuhu I’d love to hear from you guys. <3
10pm
pairing: im changkyun x reader
words: 3090
genre: angst, angst, angst ??? I tried ahahah
warnings: none
rate: g
summary: The moment he realized he had taken you for granted was the moment you walk away from his life.
A/N : I don’t really have a proper fic for this but it is somewhat connected to the other oneshots I made. <3
Cramps : http://brendzybee.tumblr.com/post/165582218066/cramps-lim-changkyun-word-count-1548
Friday evening, 8pm and you can’t wait for it to be Saturday already. You know you love weekdays a lot because , well more time with Changkyun. Your oh so loving boyfriend that only exist in your dreams. Sad life. You like Changkyun a lot ever since you were kids and everyone knows it. Your Parents knows it, Changkyun’s Parents and family knows it. Your neighbors knows it and the whole school knows it. Everybody ships you and Changkyun even the waiter and waitresses from the restaurants and café nearby ships you both.
Well you grew up to be a very bubbly and happy girl that talks a lot, talks to everyone , even talks to objects and animals. There are lots of people who likes you because of your happy and light composure, specially the ajummas and the elders, and you love it too. It feels great to be loved by many, you love it when you see people happy because of you. You can see it when they greeted you with a smile and asks you how is it going with Changkyun and your love story even if they are busy with their own life or it’s none of their business really. People around who knows you and Changkyun for a long time are somewhat entertained with your love team. Some finds you silly , funny and crazy , some also finds you adorable and persistent, there are also people who doesn’t like you of course but it’s a waste of time to talk about them.
Aside from you being happy about how you make other people feel and fell for your charm you also somewhat wish and hope for Changkyun to feel the same, but sadly your still far from it. Changkyun doesn’t like you, he dislike you a lot and finds you annoying and childish . He is vocal about it , same as how vocal you are about liking him , he is vocal about disliking you. Everyone knows it as well. Changkyun dislikes the attention everyone is giving him because of your nonsense. He dislikes it when strangers know him because of your stories and self-made fairy tales. He dislikes it that both of your parents are close and no matter how he distance himself from you still he find himself getting trapped with you. Yes, trapped is the right word because he is never willing. Tho it hurts you most of the time you’ve gotten used to it, a little bit. Even if Changkyun is a meanie and cold towards you most of the time, you know very well that Changkyun is nice because even tho he dislikes you a lot and even tho he was just forced to put up with you, still there are also times that he was caring with you. You know that he was forced by his mom to come and go home from school together with you, tho he hates it there was never a time that he left you alone. He complains and scold you most of the time specially when you are late or being a brat again, but still he waits for you and stay with you. There are really times that he is naturally caring even tho he didn’t intended to be.
You already fell for Changkyun when you were still kids, when he used to be gentler and nicer towards you. You thought it will be gone when you grow up and meet some other guys, but still you like only him. He have broken your heart multiple times , sometimes he is unaware that he is already hurting you emotionally and most of the time he is purposely hurting you to keep you away from him. There are so many times that you considered giving up on him, distancing yourself for a while or shutting down your feelings for him. But sadly it doesn’t work, you’ll end up missing him right away. Or you melting right away if he acts a little nice or sweet or just a little friendly towards you. That’s why in the mids of all the odds , nothing can stop you from falling for him . You are a strong believer that he was for you and you are for him and you think you’re almost getting there. Guess What???? Well, the handsome Changkyun just asked you out for a dinner date. Okay… that was a lie, it’s you who asked him out saying you got those reservation from your parents. And guess what again!! He agreed!!!! What on earth is happening ??? Changkyun just agreed to go on a freaking dinner date with you. Isn’t it surprising ?? Isn’t it amazing ?? And that’s is the reason why you are dying waiting for Saturday to come already.
2pm and you are now getting ready , you are about to meet in a dinner date the mad on your dreams. You both agreed to meet at 5pm. You asked him to just meet in the restaurant where you had reservations with, to add extra effect and impact to your ever first dinner date. You can’t wait to see him get into the restaurant in his best attire. You always see Changkyun around but still you can’t help but wonder what will he be wearing later. Changkyun is always keen and particular in choosing the clothes he wears. Makes him really attractive. You keep on repeating how excited you are and to add up to your excitement. You are planning to confess again this time, in a more sincere way and in a less childish like. You hope this confession would reach Changkyun heart this time or at least move him. Correction guys, You love Changkyun so much , but it never happened that you begged for him to like you back, you just constantly remind him and sometimes bribing him. You laugh wickedly to yourself while staring at the silver chained bracelet that you bought him yesterday. It’s a really simple chained bracelet with his name engraved on it. You’ve given Changkyun so many gifts before but he didn’t like it , because he just don’t. But this time you’ve think really hard to pick this one, hoping he likes it. You’ve seen him wearing one before and it looks really good on him, made him look really manly and boyish at the same time. 100% boyfriend material.
Finally it’s 4pm and you’ve done your major preparation. You prepared extra this time, you exert effort to put on a little make up, you don’t usually do, it was a struggle really. You are a sneaker and jeans type of a girl but you settled will doll shoes and a cute yet casual dress this time. You want to look a little lady like today. Trying to show Changkyun that you are not as childish as what he thinks you are. 4:10pm You texted him “See yah later. J ” you settled with that because you don’t want to annoy him. It was already 4:20 when your brother dropped you off the restaurant. He kissed you good bye and wished you luck on your “First Dinner Date”. Supporting isn’t he?? He is the best brother by the way.
Sanha greeted you right away the moment you got in the restaurant. He was the new part-timer you made friends with few days ago. You liked him a lot and become easily comfortable with him coz hell yeah the guy was as happy and as playful as you. Talk about being talkative too he is that 100%. You asked him how do you look like, how was your make up and dress and he just gave you a thumbs up. “He must be blind if he doesn’t find you really beautiful tonight.” He stated in an awe that made you blush a little that somewhat boosted your confidence. You’ve been nervous since Friday imagining about what will it be like when Changkyun sees you later.
5:30 you got a text from Changkyun that he will be a little late. You smiled at the text , thankful that he really has the intention of coming. “No worries, take your time.” You texted him back. You are doing your best to be consistent of not being annoying for today. “Take care on your way.” You sneak sending him another text which he didn’t replied. He must be driving already. 6:00 the restaurant started getting busy, Sanha asked you for how many already if you wanted to eat something else first or just anything. But of course you declined, you’re not hungry yet, you are more nervous and worried than hungry. 6:30 you started getting a little worried, wondering what’s taking him so long, the place is not that far from home. 7:00 you texted him where is he, asking him if everything was okay, it took him a while to text you back asking for a few minutes more. Your excitement started going down a hint of disappointment started bothering a part of your brain as you watch couples happily chatting and enjoying good food with each other. 7:30 you started to grow impatient and a little hungry and mad. You feel like getting up and just leave the place, but thinking how hard it was to get a chance like this. You tried your best to think of happy things but it’s a mix emotion already, your expectation started failing and you grow a little frustrated thinking the time that should have been spent together is now wasted. 8:00 you felt heart broken and betrayed, you could no longer smile at Sanha every time he’s giving you a worried look. You started to feel so small and a little embarrassed, you started noticing other diners giving you the look. You honestly felt so pathetic for being stood up. You just acted busy with your phone as your insides shuttered , your mind travelling a thousand miles, wondering maybe you expected too much. Thinking you wont be this hurt if you didn’t forget how Changkyun treated you most of the time. Few moments turns to hour of battling with your emotions, you felt like crying how people started vacating their seats and leaving the restaurants. Now you didn’t imagine your ideal and favorite place to have you first dinner date to be this lonely and empty. 9:00 your tear drops fell.
Changkyun’s POV
4:40 I left the house. I’m not really excited of what I’m just curious , I guess. I don’t even know why I agreed to have this little date with you in the first place. So I’ll just settled of you not letting it off if I say no. 5:00 I arrived at the restaurant, your favorite restaurant. I saw you happily chatting with the waiter, who is just around your age. Which is not something new, you always talk to people wherever you go. You look really pretty in your pastel dress by the way. I was about to enter when Jooheon suddenly pulled me to Shownu’s car. You were so busy chatting with the boy to see me I guess. I was so surprised to see the guys, I wasn’t expecting them around and as usual they started teasing me about being totally smitten by you which I always strongly deny and about them showing their full support, but before that we have to do some serious test. It was Jooheon and Wonho’s idea. I just hate it so much when people think ahead of me, as if they already know what will happen , as if they already know what I’m thinking or in short people deciding for me and you do that all the time. Same as how everyone keep on saying that I will soon fall for you. Family and friends keep pushing me to date you for real and I swore so many times already that it wont happen, we are just not compatible with each other. I don’t want to be engage in your oh so social life. I don’t want to be involved in your very flowery fairytales. You made people believe in the Changkyun your imaginations has created when you tell them stories.
That was the stupid reason why I went along with Wonho and Jooheon’s idea to make you wait a little. They’ll just have to see how long you can wait, given they know how impatient and bratty you are. I always act like I didn’t care about your feelings in front of my friends, I just want to prove them wrong about their assumptions. I was curious too, I know you very well, you grew up as a princess at home, a princess to your parents and 2 brothers, and even a princess to my parents who doesn’t have any daughter. I was curious how long can you wait, I was pretty sure too you won’t last and hour too. That’s too long already for someone like you who always get what she wants right away. 5:30 I texted you that I’ll be a little late but I was already there, watching you from a distance. You don’t seem to be bother yet, you have your little friend to keep you accompany anyway. The guys continue teasing me being jealous with the waiter guy or them making scenarios and jokes what will happened to me when we start dating for real. That annoyed me a lot while they were having fun. “Take care on your way.” You texted, I’d be a liar if I say I didn’t feel a little bad about what I’m doing but I can’t say no anymore. It’s like waving the white flag.
6:30 the guys started betting till what time can you wait. Wonho and Jooheon was so into it, while Minhyuk was moderating the bet asking the rest to participate. Hyungwon disinterested as usual and Kihyun was giving everyone a disapproving look. I saw him shaking his head, telling everyone we will regret what we are doing.
7:00 I stared at you as I read what you texted me. I started feeling bad seeing the changes of your expression, the way you pouted your lips and the way you furrow you eyebrows. I’ve read another message from you, I didn’t know what to reply anymore. I was staring at my phone until Jooheon took my phone and replied you to wait some more. I punched Jooheon for that, but honestly I felt like its me me who deserves to be punched right now. I’m so confused I don’t know what I’m feeling. I should be happy right now I was granted my payback for all the things you made me suffer, for all your dramas that I went through. But I don’t feel good at all, I felt worst , I hated myself.
8:00 I heard Jooheon, Minhyuk and Wonho getting really excited, as they saw you stand up and was about to leave. But I was surprised when you just stood there for a couple of minute looking at our direction before going back to your seat and acted busy with your phone. I got really nervous, I thought you’d see us , just to realized Shownu’s car is tinted. That time I wished you just left, I’d wished you’d just leave. I felt my heart beats really fast when your eyes scanned the parking lot, you starred at Shownu’s car for God knows how long. I felt ashamed, I felt so embarrassed, it felt like I was caught red handed. For the first time, I felt so guilty for being mean to you.
9:00 Your tear drops fell and I felt pain I can’t explain as I saw the look in your eyes and the expression of your face. I heard everyone, went silent. “Game over” Hyungwon said with a sigh while Kihyun giving us the look as if he was saying “I told you, you’ll regret it.” And I was there paralyzed unable to move.
~End of Changkyun’s POV~
It was around 8:00 when you received an anonymous text telling you about the bet going on and just asking you to go home. You didn’t believe at first, you can’t help it from poisoning your mind. You wanted to go home and just cry your heart out but you wanted to see Changkyun and hear it straight from him.
You really love Changkyun so much, but you felt nothing but pain right now as you see him walk going to your seat. Part of you wished he would just reason out or lie perhaps but you just don’t know anymore which is better, coz all hurt the same. Your teary eyes never left his as he occupied the seat in front of you.
“You’re a little late.” You asked smiling while wiping your tears.
“Did you had fun with your little game?” You asked once more.
“I’m sorry” was the only thing you heard from him, he can’t even look straight at you.
You tried your best not to cry anymore but your tears just keep on streaming as you heard his answer and you’ve made everything is so clear to you now.
“No, It’s okay.. I’m sorry it took me a while to finally understand. I must be really stupid to wait to be hurt like this to understand how you really felt for me.” You stated, you saw him stared at you with confusion and regret in his face.
“ Don’t worry this will be the last time. I’ll stop fighting for your attention, I’ll stop texting you, I’ll stop going to your profile and getting jealous over other girls you are friendly with, I’ll stop trying making you fall for me. Please help me, and please stay away from me.” You pleaded as you collected your things and walk going out the door when he held your wrist.
“Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone, our families won’t know about this. And by the way, this was supposed to be yours, you can throw it if you don’t like it.” You said as you handed him the small box you’ve been dying to give him.
10:00pm You gave up your first love.
10:00pm He lost you for good.
A/N: T_T
10pm
pairing: im changkyun x reader
words: 3090
genre: angst, angst, angst ??? I tried ahahah
warnings: none
rate: g
summary: The moment he realized he had taken you for granted was the moment you walk away from his life.
A/N : I don’t really have a proper fic for this but it is somewhat connected to the other oneshots I made. <3
Cramps : http://brendzybee.tumblr.com/post/165582218066/cramps-lim-changkyun-word-count-1548
Friday evening, 8pm and you can’t wait for it to be Saturday already. You know you love weekdays a lot because , well more time with Changkyun. Your oh so loving boyfriend that only exist in your dreams. Sad life. You like Changkyun a lot ever since you were kids and everyone knows it. Your Parents knows it, Changkyun’s Parents and family knows it. Your neighbors knows it and the whole school knows it. Everybody ships you and Changkyun even the waiter and waitresses from the restaurants and café nearby ships you both.
Well you grew up to be a very bubbly and happy girl that talks a lot, talks to everyone , even talks to objects and animals. There are lots of people who likes you because of your happy and light composure, specially the ajummas and the elders, and you love it too. It feels great to be loved by many, you love it when you see people happy because of you. You can see it when they greeted you with a smile and asks you how is it going with Changkyun and your love story even if they are busy with their own life or it’s none of their business really. People around who knows you and Changkyun for a long time are somewhat entertained with your love team. Some finds you silly , funny and crazy , some also finds you adorable and persistent, there are also people who doesn’t like you of course but it’s a waste of time to talk about them.
Aside from you being happy about how you make other people feel and fell for your charm you also somewhat wish and hope for Changkyun to feel the same, but sadly your still far from it. Changkyun doesn’t like you, he dislike you a lot and finds you annoying and childish . He is vocal about it , same as how vocal you are about liking him , he is vocal about disliking you. Everyone knows it as well. Changkyun dislikes the attention everyone is giving him because of your nonsense. He dislikes it when strangers know him because of your stories and self-made fairy tales. He dislikes it that both of your parents are close and no matter how he distance himself from you still he find himself getting trapped with you. Yes, trapped is the right word because he is never willing. Tho it hurts you most of the time you’ve gotten used to it, a little bit. Even if Changkyun is a meanie and cold towards you most of the time, you know very well that Changkyun is nice because even tho he dislikes you a lot and even tho he was just forced to put up with you, still there are also times that he was caring with you. You know that he was forced by his mom to come and go home from school together with you, tho he hates it there was never a time that he left you alone. He complains and scold you most of the time specially when you are late or being a brat again, but still he waits for you and stay with you. There are really times that he is naturally caring even tho he didn’t intended to be.
You already fell for Changkyun when you were still kids, when he used to be gentler and nicer towards you. You thought it will be gone when you grow up and meet some other guys, but still you like only him. He have broken your heart multiple times , sometimes he is unaware that he is already hurting you emotionally and most of the time he is purposely hurting you to keep you away from him. There are so many times that you considered giving up on him, distancing yourself for a while or shutting down your feelings for him. But sadly it doesn’t work, you’ll end up missing him right away. Or you melting right away if he acts a little nice or sweet or just a little friendly towards you. That’s why in the mids of all the odds , nothing can stop you from falling for him . You are a strong believer that he was for you and you are for him and you think you’re almost getting there. Guess What???? Well, the handsome Changkyun just asked you out for a dinner date. Okay… that was a lie, it’s you who asked him out saying you got those reservation from your parents. And guess what again!! He agreed!!!! What on earth is happening ??? Changkyun just agreed to go on a freaking dinner date with you. Isn’t it surprising ?? Isn’t it amazing ?? And that’s is the reason why you are dying waiting for Saturday to come already.
2pm and you are now getting ready , you are about to meet in a dinner date the mad on your dreams. You both agreed to meet at 5pm. You asked him to just meet in the restaurant where you had reservations with, to add extra effect and impact to your ever first dinner date. You can’t wait to see him get into the restaurant in his best attire. You always see Changkyun around but still you can’t help but wonder what will he be wearing later. Changkyun is always keen and particular in choosing the clothes he wears. Makes him really attractive. You keep on repeating how excited you are and to add up to your excitement. You are planning to confess again this time, in a more sincere way and in a less childish like. You hope this confession would reach Changkyun heart this time or at least move him. Correction guys, You love Changkyun so much , but it never happened that you begged for him to like you back, you just constantly remind him and sometimes bribing him. You laugh wickedly to yourself while staring at the silver chained bracelet that you bought him yesterday. It’s a really simple chained bracelet with his name engraved on it. You’ve given Changkyun so many gifts before but he didn’t like it , because he just don’t. But this time you’ve think really hard to pick this one, hoping he likes it. You’ve seen him wearing one before and it looks really good on him, made him look really manly and boyish at the same time. 100% boyfriend material.
Finally it’s 4pm and you’ve done your major preparation. You prepared extra this time, you exert effort to put on a little make up, you don’t usually do, it was a struggle really. You are a sneaker and jeans type of a girl but you settled will doll shoes and a cute yet casual dress this time. You want to look a little lady like today. Trying to show Changkyun that you are not as childish as what he thinks you are. 4:10pm You texted him “See yah later. J ” you settled with that because you don’t want to annoy him. It was already 4:20 when your brother dropped you off the restaurant. He kissed you good bye and wished you luck on your “First Dinner Date”. Supporting isn’t he?? He is the best brother by the way.
Sanha greeted you right away the moment you got in the restaurant. He was the new part-timer you made friends with few days ago. You liked him a lot and become easily comfortable with him coz hell yeah the guy was as happy and as playful as you. Talk about being talkative too he is that 100%. You asked him how do you look like, how was your make up and dress and he just gave you a thumbs up. “He must be blind if he doesn’t find you really beautiful tonight.” He stated in an awe that made you blush a little that somewhat boosted your confidence. You’ve been nervous since Friday imagining about what will it be like when Changkyun sees you later.
5:30 you got a text from Changkyun that he will be a little late. You smiled at the text , thankful that he really has the intention of coming. “No worries, take your time.” You texted him back. You are doing your best to be consistent of not being annoying for today. “Take care on your way.” You sneak sending him another text which he didn’t replied. He must be driving already. 6:00 the restaurant started getting busy, Sanha asked you for how many already if you wanted to eat something else first or just anything. But of course you declined, you’re not hungry yet, you are more nervous and worried than hungry. 6:30 you started getting a little worried, wondering what’s taking him so long, the place is not that far from home. 7:00 you texted him where is he, asking him if everything was okay, it took him a while to text you back asking for a few minutes more. Your excitement started going down a hint of disappointment started bothering a part of your brain as you watch couples happily chatting and enjoying good food with each other. 7:30 you started to grow impatient and a little hungry and mad. You feel like getting up and just leave the place, but thinking how hard it was to get a chance like this. You tried your best to think of happy things but it’s a mix emotion already, your expectation started failing and you grow a little frustrated thinking the time that should have been spent together is now wasted. 8:00 you felt heart broken and betrayed, you could no longer smile at Sanha every time he’s giving you a worried look. You started to feel so small and a little embarrassed, you started noticing other diners giving you the look. You honestly felt so pathetic for being stood up. You just acted busy with your phone as your insides shuttered , your mind travelling a thousand miles, wondering maybe you expected too much. Thinking you wont be this hurt if you didn’t forget how Changkyun treated you most of the time. Few moments turns to hour of battling with your emotions, you felt like crying how people started vacating their seats and leaving the restaurants. Now you didn’t imagine your ideal and favorite place to have you first dinner date to be this lonely and empty. 9:00 your tear drops fell.
Changkyun’s POV
4:40 I left the house. I’m not really excited of what I’m just curious , I guess. I don’t even know why I agreed to have this little date with you in the first place. So I’ll just settled of you not letting it off if I say no. 5:00 I arrived at the restaurant, your favorite restaurant. I saw you happily chatting with the waiter, who is just around your age. Which is not something new, you always talk to people wherever you go. You look really pretty in your pastel dress by the way. I was about to enter when Jooheon suddenly pulled me to Shownu’s car. You were so busy chatting with the boy to see me I guess. I was so surprised to see the guys, I wasn’t expecting them around and as usual they started teasing me about being totally smitten by you which I always strongly deny and about them showing their full support, but before that we have to do some serious test. It was Jooheon and Wonho’s idea. I just hate it so much when people think ahead of me, as if they already know what will happen , as if they already know what I’m thinking or in short people deciding for me and you do that all the time. Same as how everyone keep on saying that I will soon fall for you. Family and friends keep pushing me to date you for real and I swore so many times already that it wont happen, we are just not compatible with each other. I don’t want to be engage in your oh so social life. I don’t want to be involved in your very flowery fairytales. You made people believe in the Changkyun your imaginations has created when you tell them stories.
That was the stupid reason why I went along with Wonho and Jooheon’s idea to make you wait a little. They’ll just have to see how long you can wait, given they know how impatient and bratty you are. I always act like I didn’t care about your feelings in front of my friends, I just want to prove them wrong about their assumptions. I was curious too, I know you very well, you grew up as a princess at home, a princess to your parents and 2 brothers, and even a princess to my parents who doesn’t have any daughter. I was curious how long can you wait, I was pretty sure too you won’t last and hour too. That’s too long already for someone like you who always get what she wants right away. 5:30 I texted you that I’ll be a little late but I was already there, watching you from a distance. You don’t seem to be bother yet, you have your little friend to keep you accompany anyway. The guys continue teasing me being jealous with the waiter guy or them making scenarios and jokes what will happened to me when we start dating for real. That annoyed me a lot while they were having fun. “Take care on your way.” You texted, I’d be a liar if I say I didn’t feel a little bad about what I’m doing but I can’t say no anymore. It’s like waving the white flag.
6:30 the guys started betting till what time can you wait. Wonho and Jooheon was so into it, while Minhyuk was moderating the bet asking the rest to participate. Hyungwon disinterested as usual and Kihyun was giving everyone a disapproving look. I saw him shaking his head, telling everyone we will regret what we are doing.
7:00 I stared at you as I read what you texted me. I started feeling bad seeing the changes of your expression, the way you pouted your lips and the way you furrow you eyebrows. I’ve read another message from you, I didn’t know what to reply anymore. I was staring at my phone until Jooheon took my phone and replied you to wait some more. I punched Jooheon for that, but honestly I felt like its me me who deserves to be punched right now. I’m so confused I don’t know what I’m feeling. I should be happy right now I was granted my payback for all the things you made me suffer, for all your dramas that I went through. But I don’t feel good at all, I felt worst , I hated myself.
8:00 I heard Jooheon, Minhyuk and Wonho getting really excited, as they saw you stand up and was about to leave. But I was surprised when you just stood there for a couple of minute looking at our direction before going back to your seat and acted busy with your phone. I got really nervous, I thought you’d see us , just to realized Shownu’s car is tinted. That time I wished you just left, I’d wished you’d just leave. I felt my heart beats really fast when your eyes scanned the parking lot, you starred at Shownu’s car for God knows how long. I felt ashamed, I felt so embarrassed, it felt like I was caught red handed. For the first time, I felt so guilty for being mean to you.
9:00 Your tear drops fell and I felt pain I can’t explain as I saw the look in your eyes and the expression of your face. I heard everyone, went silent. “Game over” Hyungwon said with a sigh while Kihyun giving us the look as if he was saying “I told you, you’ll regret it.” And I was there paralyzed unable to move.
~End of Changkyun’s POV~
It was around 8:00 when you received an anonymous text telling you about the bet going on and just asking you to go home. You didn’t believe at first, you can’t help it from poisoning your mind. You wanted to go home and just cry your heart out but you wanted to see Changkyun and hear it straight from him.
You really love Changkyun so much, but you felt nothing but pain right now as you see him walk going to your seat. Part of you wished he would just reason out or lie perhaps but you just don’t know anymore which is better, coz all hurt the same. Your teary eyes never left his as he occupied the seat in front of you.
“You’re a little late.” You asked smiling while wiping your tears.
“Did you had fun with your little game?” You asked once more.
“I’m sorry” was the only thing you heard from him, he can’t even look straight at you.
You tried your best not to cry anymore but your tears just keep on streaming as you heard his answer and you’ve made everything is so clear to you now.
“No, It’s okay.. I’m sorry it took me a while to finally understand. I must be really stupid to wait to be hurt like this to understand how you really felt for me.” You stated, you saw him stared at you with confusion and regret in his face.
“ Don’t worry this will be the last time. I’ll stop fighting for your attention, I’ll stop texting you, I’ll stop going to your profile and getting jealous over other girls you are friendly with, I’ll stop trying making you fall for me. Please help me, and please stay away from me.” You pleaded as you collected your things and walk going out the door when he held your wrist.
“Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone, our families won’t know about this. And by the way, this was supposed to be yours, you can throw it if you don’t like it.” You said as you handed him the small box you’ve been dying to give him.
10:00pm You gave up your first love.
10:00pm He lost you for good.
A/N: T_T
10pm
pairing: im changkyun x reader
words: 3090
genre: angst, angst, angst ??? I tried ahahah
warnings: none
rate: g
summary: The moment he realized he had taken you for granted was the moment you walk away from his life.
A/N : I don’t really have a proper fic for this but it is somewhat connected to the other oneshots I made. <3
Cramps : http://brendzybee.tumblr.com/post/165582218066/cramps-lim-changkyun-word-count-1548
Friday evening, 8pm and you can’t wait for it to be Saturday already. You know you love weekdays a lot because , well more time with Changkyun. Your oh so loving boyfriend that only exist in your dreams. Sad life. You like Changkyun a lot ever since you were kids and everyone knows it. Your Parents knows it, Changkyun’s Parents and family knows it. Your neighbors knows it and the whole school knows it. Everybody ships you and Changkyun even the waiter and waitresses from the restaurants and café nearby ships you both.
Well you grew up to be a very bubbly and happy girl that talks a lot, talks to everyone , even talks to objects and animals. There are lots of people who likes you because of your happy and light composure, specially the ajummas and the elders, and you love it too. It feels great to be loved by many, you love it when you see people happy because of you. You can see it when they greeted you with a smile and asks you how is it going with Changkyun and your love story even if they are busy with their own life or it’s none of their business really. People around who knows you and Changkyun for a long time are somewhat entertained with your love team. Some finds you silly , funny and crazy , some also finds you adorable and persistent, there are also people who doesn’t like you of course but it’s a waste of time to talk about them.
Aside from you being happy about how you make other people feel and fell for your charm you also somewhat wish and hope for Changkyun to feel the same, but sadly your still far from it. Changkyun doesn’t like you, he dislike you a lot and finds you annoying and childish . He is vocal about it , same as how vocal you are about liking him , he is vocal about disliking you. Everyone knows it as well. Changkyun dislikes the attention everyone is giving him because of your nonsense. He dislikes it when strangers know him because of your stories and self-made fairy tales. He dislikes it that both of your parents are close and no matter how he distance himself from you still he find himself getting trapped with you. Yes, trapped is the right word because he is never willing. Tho it hurts you most of the time you’ve gotten used to it, a little bit. Even if Changkyun is a meanie and cold towards you most of the time, you know very well that Changkyun is nice because even tho he dislikes you a lot and even tho he was just forced to put up with you, still there are also times that he was caring with you. You know that he was forced by his mom to come and go home from school together with you, tho he hates it there was never a time that he left you alone. He complains and scold you most of the time specially when you are late or being a brat again, but still he waits for you and stay with you. There are really times that he is naturally caring even tho he didn’t intended to be.
You already fell for Changkyun when you were still kids, when he used to be gentler and nicer towards you. You thought it will be gone when you grow up and meet some other guys, but still you like only him. He have broken your heart multiple times , sometimes he is unaware that he is already hurting you emotionally and most of the time he is purposely hurting you to keep you away from him. There are so many times that you considered giving up on him, distancing yourself for a while or shutting down your feelings for him. But sadly it doesn’t work, you’ll end up missing him right away. Or you melting right away if he acts a little nice or sweet or just a little friendly towards you. That’s why in the mids of all the odds , nothing can stop you from falling for him . You are a strong believer that he was for you and you are for him and you think you’re almost getting there. Guess What???? Well, the handsome Changkyun just asked you out for a dinner date. Okay… that was a lie, it’s you who asked him out saying you got those reservation from your parents. And guess what again!! He agreed!!!! What on earth is happening ??? Changkyun just agreed to go on a freaking dinner date with you. Isn’t it surprising ?? Isn’t it amazing ?? And that’s is the reason why you are dying waiting for Saturday to come already.
2pm and you are now getting ready , you are about to meet in a dinner date the mad on your dreams. You both agreed to meet at 5pm. You asked him to just meet in the restaurant where you had reservations with, to add extra effect and impact to your ever first dinner date. You can’t wait to see him get into the restaurant in his best attire. You always see Changkyun around but still you can’t help but wonder what will he be wearing later. Changkyun is always keen and particular in choosing the clothes he wears. Makes him really attractive. You keep on repeating how excited you are and to add up to your excitement. You are planning to confess again this time, in a more sincere way and in a less childish like. You hope this confession would reach Changkyun heart this time or at least move him. Correction guys, You love Changkyun so much , but it never happened that you begged for him to like you back, you just constantly remind him and sometimes bribing him. You laugh wickedly to yourself while staring at the silver chained bracelet that you bought him yesterday. It’s a really simple chained bracelet with his name engraved on it. You’ve given Changkyun so many gifts before but he didn’t like it , because he just don’t. But this time you’ve think really hard to pick this one, hoping he likes it. You’ve seen him wearing one before and it looks really good on him, made him look really manly and boyish at the same time. 100% boyfriend material.
Finally it’s 4pm and you’ve done your major preparation. You prepared extra this time, you exert effort to put on a little make up, you don’t usually do, it was a struggle really. You are a sneaker and jeans type of a girl but you settled will doll shoes and a cute yet casual dress this time. You want to look a little lady like today. Trying to show Changkyun that you are not as childish as what he thinks you are. 4:10pm You texted him “See yah later. J ” you settled with that because you don’t want to annoy him. It was already 4:20 when your brother dropped you off the restaurant. He kissed you good bye and wished you luck on your “First Dinner Date”. Supporting isn’t he?? He is the best brother by the way.
Sanha greeted you right away the moment you got in the restaurant. He was the new part-timer you made friends with few days ago. You liked him a lot and become easily comfortable with him coz hell yeah the guy was as happy and as playful as you. Talk about being talkative too he is that 100%. You asked him how do you look like, how was your make up and dress and he just gave you a thumbs up. “He must be blind if he doesn’t find you really beautiful tonight.” He stated in an awe that made you blush a little that somewhat boosted your confidence. You’ve been nervous since Friday imagining about what will it be like when Changkyun sees you later.
5:30 you got a text from Changkyun that he will be a little late. You smiled at the text , thankful that he really has the intention of coming. “No worries, take your time.” You texted him back. You are doing your best to be consistent of not being annoying for today. “Take care on your way.” You sneak sending him another text which he didn’t replied. He must be driving already. 6:00 the restaurant started getting busy, Sanha asked you for how many already if you wanted to eat something else first or just anything. But of course you declined, you’re not hungry yet, you are more nervous and worried than hungry. 6:30 you started getting a little worried, wondering what’s taking him so long, the place is not that far from home. 7:00 you texted him where is he, asking him if everything was okay, it took him a while to text you back asking for a few minutes more. Your excitement started going down a hint of disappointment started bothering a part of your brain as you watch couples happily chatting and enjoying good food with each other. 7:30 you started to grow impatient and a little hungry and mad. You feel like getting up and just leave the place, but thinking how hard it was to get a chance like this. You tried your best to think of happy things but it’s a mix emotion already, your expectation started failing and you grow a little frustrated thinking the time that should have been spent together is now wasted. 8:00 you felt heart broken and betrayed, you could no longer smile at Sanha every time he’s giving you a worried look. You started to feel so small and a little embarrassed, you started noticing other diners giving you the look. You honestly felt so pathetic for being stood up. You just acted busy with your phone as your insides shuttered , your mind travelling a thousand miles, wondering maybe you expected too much. Thinking you wont be this hurt if you didn’t forget how Changkyun treated you most of the time. Few moments turns to hour of battling with your emotions, you felt like crying how people started vacating their seats and leaving the restaurants. Now you didn’t imagine your ideal and favorite place to have you first dinner date to be this lonely and empty. 9:00 your tear drops fell.
Changkyun’s POV
4:40 I left the house. I’m not really excited of what I’m just curious , I guess. I don’t even know why I agreed to have this little date with you in the first place. So I’ll just settled of you not letting it off if I say no. 5:00 I arrived at the restaurant, your favorite restaurant. I saw you happily chatting with the waiter, who is just around your age. Which is not something new, you always talk to people wherever you go. You look really pretty in your pastel dress by the way. I was about to enter when Jooheon suddenly pulled me to Shownu’s car. You were so busy chatting with the boy to see me I guess. I was so surprised to see the guys, I wasn’t expecting them around and as usual they started teasing me about being totally smitten by you which I always strongly deny and about them showing their full support, but before that we have to do some serious test. It was Jooheon and Wonho’s idea. I just hate it so much when people think ahead of me, as if they already know what will happen , as if they already know what I’m thinking or in short people deciding for me and you do that all the time. Same as how everyone keep on saying that I will soon fall for you. Family and friends keep pushing me to date you for real and I swore so many times already that it wont happen, we are just not compatible with each other. I don’t want to be engage in your oh so social life. I don’t want to be involved in your very flowery fairytales. You made people believe in the Changkyun your imaginations has created when you tell them stories.
That was the stupid reason why I went along with Wonho and Jooheon’s idea to make you wait a little. They’ll just have to see how long you can wait, given they know how impatient and bratty you are. I always act like I didn’t care about your feelings in front of my friends, I just want to prove them wrong about their assumptions. I was curious too, I know you very well, you grew up as a princess at home, a princess to your parents and 2 brothers, and even a princess to my parents who doesn’t have any daughter. I was curious how long can you wait, I was pretty sure too you won’t last and hour too. That’s too long already for someone like you who always get what she wants right away. 5:30 I texted you that I’ll be a little late but I was already there, watching you from a distance. You don’t seem to be bother yet, you have your little friend to keep you accompany anyway. The guys continue teasing me being jealous with the waiter guy or them making scenarios and jokes what will happened to me when we start dating for real. That annoyed me a lot while they were having fun. “Take care on your way.” You texted, I’d be a liar if I say I didn’t feel a little bad about what I’m doing but I can’t say no anymore. It’s like waving the white flag.
6:30 the guys started betting till what time can you wait. Wonho and Jooheon was so into it, while Minhyuk was moderating the bet asking the rest to participate. Hyungwon disinterested as usual and Kihyun was giving everyone a disapproving look. I saw him shaking his head, telling everyone we will regret what we are doing.
7:00 I stared at you as I read what you texted me. I started feeling bad seeing the changes of your expression, the way you pouted your lips and the way you furrow you eyebrows. I’ve read another message from you, I didn’t know what to reply anymore. I was staring at my phone until Jooheon took my phone and replied you to wait some more. I punched Jooheon for that, but honestly I felt like its me me who deserves to be punched right now. I’m so confused I don’t know what I’m feeling. I should be happy right now I was granted my payback for all the things you made me suffer, for all your dramas that I went through. But I don’t feel good at all, I felt worst , I hated myself.
8:00 I heard Jooheon, Minhyuk and Wonho getting really excited, as they saw you stand up and was about to leave. But I was surprised when you just stood there for a couple of minute looking at our direction before going back to your seat and acted busy with your phone. I got really nervous, I thought you’d see us , just to realized Shownu’s car is tinted. That time I wished you just left, I’d wished you’d just leave. I felt my heart beats really fast when your eyes scanned the parking lot, you starred at Shownu’s car for God knows how long. I felt ashamed, I felt so embarrassed, it felt like I was caught red handed. For the first time, I felt so guilty for being mean to you.
9:00 Your tear drops fell and I felt pain I can’t explain as I saw the look in your eyes and the expression of your face. I heard everyone, went silent. “Game over” Hyungwon said with a sigh while Kihyun giving us the look as if he was saying “I told you, you’ll regret it.” And I was there paralyzed unable to move.
~End of Changkyun’s POV~
It was around 8:00 when you received an anonymous text telling you about the bet going on and just asking you to go home. You didn’t believe at first, you can’t help it from poisoning your mind. You wanted to go home and just cry your heart out but you wanted to see Changkyun and hear it straight from him.
You really love Changkyun so much, but you felt nothing but pain right now as you see him walk going to your seat. Part of you wished he would just reason out or lie perhaps but you just don’t know anymore which is better, coz all hurt the same. Your teary eyes never left his as he occupied the seat in front of you.
“You’re a little late.” You asked smiling while wiping your tears.
“Did you had fun with your little game?” You asked once more.
“I’m sorry” was the only thing you heard from him, he can’t even look straight at you.
You tried your best not to cry anymore but your tears just keep on streaming as you heard his answer and you’ve made everything is so clear to you now.
“No, It’s okay.. I’m sorry it took me a while to finally understand. I must be really stupid to wait to be hurt like this to understand how you really felt for me.” You stated, you saw him stared at you with confusion and regret in his face.
“ Don’t worry this will be the last time. I’ll stop fighting for your attention, I’ll stop texting you, I’ll stop going to your profile and getting jealous over other girls you are friendly with, I’ll stop trying making you fall for me. Please help me, and please stay away from me.” You pleaded as you collected your things and walk going out the door when he held your wrist.
“Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone, our families won’t know about this. And by the way, this was supposed to be yours, you can throw it if you don’t like it.” You said as you handed him the small box you’ve been dying to give him.
10:00pm You gave up your first love.
10:00pm He lost you for good.
A/N: T_T
