The strongest soldier I know.
When my mother was young she used to get sent out to sell homemade caramels by her mom. She hated doing so but she did it for her mom, she’d hide from class mates and friends because she’d be embarrassed if she were to be seen by them. One time she was almost found out and she jumped into a ditch, it was filled with some form of coffee bean and it was burning hot. She’d later return home crying and in pain only to get her butt spanked by her mom for loosing a bunch of candy and money. It wouldn’t be the last time of course, my mother would be robbed from or she’d make a mistake in selling them for less than she should’ve or just eating them herself.
In school she ran all kinds of track and field sports. Her favorite was endurance, I wouldn’t exactly know how good she was but it was her favorite and I believe it. When I have gone running with her she wouldn’t go too fast but she’d also never stop moving, unlike me who’d make a mad dash for the end and get tired somewhere along the way.
In her home country war was about to begin and I suppose word got around about her being so capable. She was recruited and was barely trained for anything. She didn’t know how to carry a gun or shoot at anything for that matter but they still wanted her. She was to join an all female battalion on a ship somewhere in the middle of the sea.
Before anything could happen to my mom, her mother, my grandmother, told her to run away far from home where no one could find her or even know of her. My grandmother saw her off with a smile and high hopes for her.
Somewhere along the way my mother caught wind of some very tragic and disturbing news. The battle ship she was supposed to be in with her comrades was destroyed and sank engulfed in smoke and flames. That could’ve been her she thought to herself. To this day she’d never forget about it, the ships name the way it looked the people she knew were on there.
Somewhere along the way she’d meet up with a guy who would offer her shelter and a place to call home. She’d stay there for a while and something would blossom between them even though she new better than to let him in she’d eventually allow it and from there her firstborn would come to.
Staying grounded there and beginning a new life was all she could’ve ever wanted. But everything wasn’t as smooth as it should’ve been. In the country she was now calling home was a growing gang and drug problem, eventually she’d come to the realization that this place wasn’t safe and that if she truly wanted a good future for her kid she’d have to leave him in the hands of someone else. She would have to work hard for him and herself, leaving him in safer hands as she went on to a place that sounded like a dream come true. A place where your dreams could become reality, where work was plentiful and there were no drugs or gang violence. Leaving her son was the hardest thing she had ever done in her life, tricking him into believing she’d come back with icecream. She turned her back and ran and never looked back because if she did she knew she wouldn’t be able to follow through.
It hurt her so much.
She’d make a long treacherous journey just so she could have her son be safe and have a potential future with her. Taking him with her was no option and risked his life. Nearing the end of the journey she had one last trial ahead of her, crossing a river without being caught.
She would make it across just fine and start a new life somewhere very far away from her son. My mother of course went along with the man who was the father of her first born and would eventually have me and my sister in this new free country.
I believe my mother to be a very strong person, she’d endure so much suffering and abuse here from her husband and all plans to reunite with her first son would never come to be because life just isn’t fair. She’d eventually put hope in me that I would be able to reunite her with her long lost son. Yet here I am unable to give her what she wanted, after all the sacrifice she’s done. We attempted to get him across with his father but times have changed and it was an awful unforgiving journey for him as well. At one point we lost contact with him and we thought the worst had happened attempting to cross the river without his father. He’d be caught at the border and sent back home where the gang violence and drug problems only grew over all these years.
It’s been about twenty five years since my mother originally fled her home country. I don’t think of it much but I do believe her going back isn’t a possibility. She is a war criminal for desertion, and this makes it impossible for her to go back.
Her mother has been waiting for her to come back and see her one day.