Bridget

I am here to learn to express my thoughts and feelings. Hopefully I will inspire others to do the same.

[bridgetnicole-chronicles]

I AM READY TO FORGIVE

I woke up this morning and I felt different. I felt like I was ready to be a leader to myself. This year I have become more in touch with my spirituality and the spirit realm. I am better at trusting my intuition and getting better at connecting with my higher self. I received a tarot reading last night having to do with messages from deceased loved ones. It felt in my soul that I was meant to listen to that reading. The reading perfectly described my father who past away when I was 17 years old from liver cancer. The reading mentioned how they were sorry for how they treated me when they were alive and a sincere "I'm sorry" was always what I wanted my dad to say to me. He was an alcoholic and kind of a reckless soul. I always held a grudge against my father for how he affected me with his alcoholism. I remember multiple times where he would drive drunk with me in the car. How he would get angry at me if I was mad at him for being drunk. He went to jail multiple times throughout my life and never really had a stable job. At one point he lived in a camper where we played  cards for entertainment. He was not the perfect father but I know without a second of doubt that he loved me with his whole heart.  I am ready to move on from my past and I am ready to forgive him.   

[bridgetnicole-chronicles]

TIME FOR CHANGE

Today I had a little bit of a moment where I felt sorry for my current life situation. Getting upset over my crappy job and missing being in nature. I can feel myself crave to see more green and to live closer to nature. I can also feel a craving to heal myself from inside and out. I am tired of that familiar feeling of "Why did this happen to me?" but mostly I'm tired of not doing anything about it. I have accepted all that has "Happened" to me because I feel in my soul that it was preparing me for the greatness that has yet to come. I need to accept that everything has a divine timing and that everything happens for a reason. I spent a lot of my time actively trying to not live my life simply because I had a lot of pain that I was not letting myself feel. I have spent so much of my time regretting things that I did and did not do as a teenager. Looking back I am almost embarrassed by what I used to call "Life". Literally consuming my life with movies and trying to be like the actresses. I spent so much time not giving a shit about the person that I was. All I did was change who I was in order to be exactly like the actresses I thought were amazing. People I didn't even know. I have held onto so much from my past that I feel like I have almost blocked out a lot of what happened. I have just held onto the pain that is deep within me. I was blessed with a gift of singing and I suppressed that gift because of my irrational thoughts of not being good enough. I was always so hard on myself because I never knew how to express my thoughts. Never knew how to project my feelings into a song. It took me almost 30 years to realize how unique of a person that I truly am. I have made the decision that I am going to be the best version of myself that I can be. I want to inspire others to do the same. To have the insight to recognize when something needs to change and to have the courage to do something about it. This is the beginning of something beautiful.