Come, you simply must meet my associates! This woman right here is a delightful pervert of sorts, and this fellow here, he’s some kind of a fucking idiot.
at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you
at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.
at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly
at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.
I'm sorry for laughing, but apparently someone stole Franco's suitcase in Italy and he's MAD 😭😭😭
Trans: Who would've said that Europeans would steal everything from a Latino. Please, they didn't even leave the mate kit🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻 I'm sure they're not gonna like mate 🙏🏻
hi nina! the carcar beef is just so inspiring to me. i know we have a lot of fun with love quadrangles so i'm thinking some scenario leads to lando and oscar having to pretend to date which pushes a jealous carlos to somehow blurt out to oscar that he’s dating logan sargeant (he wanted to get under oscar’s skin in the same way and that sargeant kid is the only person besides mark webber he could think of oscar associating with) so now he’s gotta beg alex for his ex-teammates number so as to not look like a chump. from there it’s these two pairs just trying to out-fake-date each other as everyone else looks on wondering what the fuck is up.
Hi Anon
The drama!! The misunderstanding!! The madness of a seriously jealous Carlos and a secretly pining Oscar is the kind of romcom anarchy that has everyone on the grid fighting for front row seats, popcorn in hand, and eagerly awaiting the next installment 🤭
I'm imagining Oscar and Logan as very close childhood friends in this AU, with both being quite protective of the other person. Oscar in particular is worried about Logan getting taken advantage of after his dismissal from Williams and the sudden news that famed playboy Carlos Sainz is somehow...involved with his sweet and kind best friend? That is unacceptable.
Oscar is fuming that Carlos would stoop so low as to date Logan, who's in a fragile place right now after leaving IndyCar negotiations and having his career up in the air. What the hell was that handsome Spanish idiot thinking?!
Not that Oscar thinks he's handsome. Just that other people do.
Objectively.
Oscar thinks Carlos is a pain in the ass, lugging around that overweight Williams car and explaining everything with logical precision and perfect data. He's never liked Carlos and he never will.
And so what if some of his more...volatile emotions stem from the fact Carlos has been avoiding Oscar like the plague? Ever since he and Lando started "dating" on orders from their PR team, Carlos hasn't look Oscar in the eye.
It hurt, even when it wasn't supposed to.
Oscar always suspected Carlos felt something more for Lando, for his McLaren teammate who once looked at the Spaniard like the hung all the stars in the sky. The two of them with their million and one inside jokes. Always reaching for one another, gravitating towards the other person in a crowd, visiting one another's families and sneaking off to have private conversations in the paddock.
No, Oscar never jealously stared after Lando as Carlos casually roped him into conversation.
While Oscar was just standing there. Alone.
Ready to be included too.
He knew, he just knew, that Carlos wasn't going to be happy about the "dating" between him and Lando. He suspected old feelings would resurface and Oscar would watch his back on track.
But he didn't think...he didn't think Carlos would just cut him off like that.
Not that Oscar cared.
Sure, their barbed conversations made him chuckle.
Yeah, he maybe liked Carlos's presence.
Fine, the guy was absurdly good looking.
And maybe it was delusion. A few kind words, a handful of moments where Carlos spoke to him first...
And Oscar thought they were friend. Or they were getting there.
But now it's all been ruined. Because Carlos Sainz hates his guts.
And he's punishing Oscar by dating his former teammate, his childhood best friend, the one person who Oscar wanted to cover in bubblewrap and hide from the world:
Sweet, fragile Logan.
And Carlos was dating him. Even though Oscar knew Carlos needed someone who was more than willing to stand up to him, who could banter back, who could make him laugh until his perfect smile stretched wide and his slightly wheezy laughter filled the air.
Carlos wasn't dating the right person because he wanted to punish Oscar.
Well, fine. He thinks spitefully. If Carlos wants to punish him, then Oscar is going to be the most romantic fucking "boyfriend" in the entire world. He's going to hold Lando's hand, cup his cheek, playfully grab at his ass (the way Carlos used to do).
He's going to stab Carlos right back because it wasn't fair if only one of them bled.
(Although Oscar wasn't bleeding, he was just...you know. A little hurt. Because he thought they were friends. That's it. He's not stupid, he always knew someone as good looking and perfect as Carlos wouldn't date him. He's not dumb. But he also...maybe he was too optimistic. And now he was getting a cold, hard slap in the face from reality.)
Meanwhile, Lando and Logan are so fucking confused.
Lando has no idea why Oscar keeps trying to commit acts of public indecency with him whenever they're around Carlos and Logan. In fact, Lando actually thought Oscar had a sort-of crush on Carlos since he always turned into a tomato whenever the Spanish driver was nearby but...
Guess not.
Logan, however, is absolutely baffled as to why Carlos is suddenly asking him to visit Spain or Monaco or maybe just get dinner? Alex had called Logan to explain the whole strange situation before asking if he and Carlos had been secretly dating before Logan left Williams?
Logan almost choked on his own saliva.
Carlos Sainz hadn't even acknowledged he was alive during his brief stint in F1.
When he tells Alex this, the Thai driver is actually furious on Logan's behalf, telling him he'd be more than happy to drive Carlos off track if this was some kind of prank.
That stung but it was also the most realistic explanation.
Until Carlos showed up at his doorstep, practically begging Logan to come with him to Monaco for a few days.
When Logan called Oscar to ask about this, his best friend had gone quiet.
So quiet Logan thought he'd hung up.
And then:
"Yeah Loges," his voice was eerily calm, "you should come to Monaco. In fact, we can go on a double date."
Logan's confused. Since when was Oscar in a relationship...?
"It's pretty recent." Osc continued in that unnervingly tranquil voice. "But I think we should meet up. All of us. Including Carlos."
"Um..."
"Invite Carlos."
And a week later, they were here.
Sitting across from one another in complete silence.
Logan glances across the table to meet the green-blue eyes of Lando Norris, who's fidgeting with the utensils.
He offers Logan a slight smile.
Beside them, Oscar and Carlos look ten seconds away from jumping across the table and...doing something.
"Well," Lando slaps his hand down on the table, "how about we kiss and make-up and order something? I'm starving."
Carlos swallows, dark eyes briefly glancing down at Oscar's mouth.
The Aussie flushes ever so slightly before forcing a neutral expression back on his face.
The waitress arrives.
And Logan feels entirely unprepared for what comes next.
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