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alice, 26, queer icon by @midandevil

[brighteyesandstardust]

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my name is alice. i'm twenty-six years old. i'm engaged to this guy and we have been together for five years. i have been on tumblr since 2013 and i can never leave.

my icon is this wonderful art by midandevil.

featured tags

#my diary

#scrapbook

#friend tag

#art for me

other things i care about

astronomy, nature, animals, folklore, fiction, poetry, education resources, healthcare resources, bodily autonomy, prison abolition, anti-capitalism, anti-censorship, fat liberation, healthcare, disability, youth liberation, (anti) the right to comfort, sex neutrality, among a million other things.

click here for the full tag directory.

[captain-price-returns]

[theehorsepusssy]

Hates monday

[skidfarts]

Back when i was like. 9 i watched a cuck porn video And i didnt quite understand the concept of what it was But i remember being so sad about how the woman was talking to her husband while she was fucking this other guy. and then she broke the couch and she said "uh oh sweetie we broke your couch.." all condescendingly And then he said "i LOVED that couch.😕" and it made me so upset i cried

[skidfarts]

Why😭is😭this😭getting😭so😭many😭notes😭

[sycamorality]

oh no i will lose my !

[dogpuppy]

[lochnessieart]

Making melted popsicle keychains for a bunch of different types of parrots! Green cheeks are the first batch!

[segamascott]

[lesbianshepard]

if an archaeologist says an artifact was probably for “ritual purposes” it means “i have no fuckin clue”

but if they say it was for “fertility rituals” they mean “i know exactly what it was for but i dont want to say ‘ancient dildo’”

[thecringeandwincefactory-deacti]

Back in the day I worked at a certain very famous and very high caste art museum in the US as a junior curator. Part of my job was to catalog the objects in the museum database. This includes details like provenance, measurements, and a visual description of what the object looked like.

Like I said, the museum was a pretty snotty institution. It’s got a LOT of objects it’s way famous for possessing, but nobody knew about the absolutely massive collection of Moche erotic pottery it had because the curators were totally embarrassed by this stuff.

Some examples:

Pretty hot shit, right? They never, ever put any of this stuff on public view or published it in any catalogues but - we legit had like several hundred pieces of Moche ceramics in the “dirty pots” category. Anyway, I was left alone to just do my job with regard to the database for several years, ok? And I figured, well, these’re accessioned objects in the museum’s collection - better get down to bidness. 

I catalogued every goddamn bestiality, necrophiliac, cocksucking, buttfucking, detached penis, and giant vulva drinking cup in that collection. I’d be like, 

A drinking vessel in form of a standing man wearing a tunic and cap. He holds an oversized erection in his hands and stares into the distance (note I did not say “like he’s hella-constipated”). The vessel has a hole at both the tip of the penis as well as around the rim of the figure’s head, thus forcing the drinker to drink only from the penis or risk spilling wine all over themselves from the top of the vessel. Red and orange slip covers the surface of the piece.

Pretty straightforward, right? Apparently the deep seated fear of these objects that the curators exhibited was meant to spread to me as well, but - no one ever gave me that memo, because I guess Midwesterners reproduce asexually. When the curators understood that I had catalogued all of these objects in addition to the other, non-sexy pieces in the collection, they were apparently livid, but knew they had no legs to stand on in terms of getting pissed at me for it. 

I visited the museum’s online public access database a few years back and - every single description I wrote of these pieces has been totally neutered to say something like Male figural vase. 

Long story short? Just call a dildo a fucking dildo. It’s all gonna be ok, I swear.

[workfornow]

This is absolutely the MOST unusual reblog I have ever tagged with what is probably my second-favorite tag, “talk to me about your work.”

Plus it’s hilarious.

[cloudfreed]

I love ancient art history !!!!!

[clockshunddachshund]

@lowercasetrashwriter

[scrimblobimblobadimbo-deactivat]

Museums should have sections dedicated to artifacts like these with a warning that says “There’s a lot of private parts in here but we’re dedicated to displaying history so we won’t censor these. Enter at your own risk” or something. It’s prudish to deliberately hide history because of some ding dongs.

[dovewithscales]

Fucking Puritanism.

Unpopular opinion: Sex exists. Making body parts taboo is both psychologically bad for us and kinda stupid.

[thefuzzydave]

[drinkyourjuiceshelby]

[stupidbeecandle]

I lived and worked in a lighthouse at a previous job.  There was a thick line painted in a circle around the shack where the fog signal was kept.  The line represented how close you could get to the fog signal without experiencing physical harm in the form of eardrums shattering or worse.

Even in the house it was LOUD.  Probably the loudest thing I have ever experienced but at a normal, predictable interval.  You would begin to time your sentences with little pauses with the rest of the lighthouse crew so you would talk like this while making your………..HORN…………. tea and then carry on talking because you knew when it would go off.  It rattled the walls and the dishes in our cabinet.

At least one girl had died there. They kept photos of her everywhere “in honor of her sacrifice” because she had decided to take the winter watch alone and died in a storm where bounders the size of mini vans had been lifted out of the ocean and left scattered across the island, to say nothing of the ice chunks.  People weren’t allowed to be alone on the watch after that.

One day a dead moose washed up on shore and it took my entire crew all day but we managed to rig up a line to hang it up to dry because we thought having a moose skeleton in the house would really spice the living room up a bit.  It did.  Weird shit happens when six of you are left alone, like ALONE ALONE, no cell reception, no wifi, just a radio to contact the real world and not a lot of reason to do that.  People don’t go on lighthouse jobs if they want to stay connected, I’ve found.

That said Id do it all again, I really do treasure those days

[glowingghosty]

[mcnerds]

you know you could’ve just said “no they don’t have wifi” and that would’ve answered the question

[stupidbeecandle]

But then you wouldnt have known about the moose

[troutreznor]

https://blinkies.cafe

[infestuous]

this post really attracted the lamest people in the fucking world

[nullconvention]

reposting this list especially the porn.

[dee-the-red-witch]

Reblogging for every single item on this list, plus all of them collectively together.

[loveridden1999]

when england lose, women bruise

[osmanthusoolong]

Seen in downtown Toronto as well

[fairycosmos]

let it go my friend... i say this as a fat "ugly" dyke. your body is the vehicle w which you move in the world, give love, receive love, make things, SEE things, KNOW things. that's all that matters. beauty and ugliness are marketing scams esp for women. LIVE and FUCK THE WORLD it's not easy to get there but it's so sweet. ppl will love you fat and "ugly" i swear on god.

this is like a religious text to me and i'm not joking even a little

[spiribia]

It probably is kind of fun to be a parent bird and find big fat bugs to put in your child’s goalpost mouth. And the more you do it the larger your baby gets, which shows your progress. Mine is reaally big, think I’m going to get a high score this time. It has a unique skin too, I’ve never even seen this one before. Has anyone gotten that one, dark brown and white belly with stripes? It’s not even in my Wrenpedia, it has to be a really special unlock

[spiribia]

I’d appreciate if you didn’t call my child a “parasite”, thank you very much! Typical r/childfree

[t4timekeeper]

an “original character” is like a kind of brain parasite

[valtsv]

the reason sex scenes exist in fiction is because sometimes people have sex but also to find out what the characters are lying to everyone including themselves about by wrapping that agonising vulnerability in a treat like giving medicine to a dog

[kuttithevangu]

Every work of art says things the creator hasn’t considered, but if you’ve really thought about what you’re trying to say then generally the additional dimensions you didn’t know it had are in alignment with your purpose, whereas if you think you’re making no cultural comment at all you are actually making a LOT of cultural comments, most of which will be unflattering to you

[kuttithevangu]

Porn is one of the most culturally rich types of media imaginable so the answer is: you cannot do this

[rockshitty]

“I don’t want to make anything with cultural dimensions. That’s why I only write within the genre that is legally sequestered away from every other kind of storytelling because of my culture’s attitude towards depictions of sex.”