Okay I want to voice some... Frustrations? Anxieties? Complex feelings about worshipping and belonging to a Moon Goddess in the 21st century? I'm talking about Selene.
From where I stand, I see the living rituals that other people have with their gods. The festivals, the calendar dates, the cultural alignments and I'm just like, "When do I, a Child of Selene, get to have that?"
I feel like there was already so little literature about Selene as it was because She, apparently, wasn't a very popular goddess, as in She wasn't everywhere for everyone in the ancient world. When folks talk about their chosen gods, very few mention Her at all, often choosing Artemis instead. It feels like what little there is known about Her can be printed up on about 20-30 pages of paper.
Sure, I'd love a holy book just for Her. I'd love to have regular rituals and holy days honored in a cultural and accessible calendar that made sense, all specifically for Her. Barring all that, it'd be nice to see other folks mention Her more and connect with a group of folks who know who She is and care about the way Her name is used in pop culture and entertainment, and why She's important now and what else She meant to ancient Hellenes, and how we must show up to continue that tradition.
It feels kinda lonely and I don't think it's meant to be. Like, sure I can just "do whatever" but what's great about a religious tradition is exactly that: tradition. You're not creating something whole cloth, you're picking up the threads from those who came before and joining the direct line that connects with those powers. You're doing what the ancients did (or what we believe they did) and not just saying, "Oh, it's a full moon. Guess I'll go outside and do a little moon gazing or something."
To be fair, I've always loved the rituals I've conducted for my worship, and the days I hold as sacred for Her. My writings on my experiences, even learning music and everything else I do that I dedicate to Her. But sometimes, you just want to feel like you're talking to the same goddess, that there's precedent for what you're doing and it doesn't feel like you've just made something up because you had a specific need. Knowing that someone else did the same thing before you is a signpost that you're on the right track, and it's a worn path you can trust and follow to the same destination.
I do love what I've made of my faith and it feels deep and personal both of what I know of Selene and what my belief does for me. But I really wish I could trust it more to feel truly aligned and connected to the main thread of worship.
"Oh Celestian, maybe you're supposed to do that?" I am and that's not the point. The point is, when do I get to know that I'm following the right wisdom, the right signposts, and that I'm part of a community? Even if we're all just fucking around doing our own things and it turns out that's what She wants of us, at least we know that, and still have commonalities shared between us.
This is a rant. I'll be fine after some sleep, maybe. But I just needed to say this out loud.
