This is me. @briittnicolee - Tumblr Blog

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I always think about you... there isn't a day where you don't cross my mind. But there are also days, such as today, where I miss you so much. There are moments in these days when I just need to talk to you and no one else. You would be the only one who would be able to understand. But you're gone.

Mom, you just don't understand

Faster Goodbye

Shoot, this is a lot sooner than planned. But, then again, when do plans ever go accordingly. You're leaving. Like leaving leaving. You joined the military. You're really leaving. It's really happening. It honestly feels like it was last week that you pulled me in to tell me this was happening. That was 2 years ago. 2 years ago, you told me this was happening. You were joining the Army and that you guys were moving. Me, a fresh new baby intern, working under you. You told me this cause you wanted me to come with you. Of course I wanted too, but look at me now. I actually am where I'm suppose to be. Youth pastoring. And now, the two years are over. How did that happen!? I don't know But it did...and now, you have 20 days left before you leave for boot camp. 20 days!!! That's not even 3 weeks. 3 weeks, and you're gone. Ugh I didn't think it would be this hard. I thought it would be fine cause I have Ashley. But seeing her, will just make me miss you more. Now that you're leaving earlier, so is Ashley. Instead of it being May/June,,, it's more like Febuary/ March. That's my best friend. Is just getting up, and going. Leaving. Her life is getting up and moving across the country. Ughhhh, Life sucks.

I need to get my shit together

My brain is in love with you

I can't stop thinking about you. I say that you're not a big deal and that I can't let you consume my thoughts...but deep down inside, you're all I think about and there's nothing I can do about it. My brain needs to shut up about you...cause you're all it ever talks about

...I miss you

I can't help it, I just long for the next time I'm gonna hang out with you. My heart races with anxiety because I don't feel right without you. Is this what it's suppose to feel like? Am I suppose to be anxious for what may happen when you aren't around. You're more than just a crush you're my best friend and the world isn't right without you.

It's a crush...💛

You better believe that I take my time just so when I walk out the door I know that you'll be there,,,you'll be walking in and we can greet one another. Or when you're talking to someone I'll walk past you just so we can make eye contact. Or I'll go in a room where I know you're at and say, "oh just looking for ______", but I really just walked into see you. I time stuff like that. What I don't time, is everything you do spontaneously! Like random dates that I have to be ready for in an hour without knowing what we're doing, or holding my hand in the middle of the movie, or taking me on weird adventures. I can't time those. You calm the control freak inside. You help me live just a little more out of the box.

Off roading•Good food• Hiking•Shooting Stars •Amazing Views• Great Friends• The Best Weekend 👫💁🏼✊🏼 (at El Mirage Dry Lake)

We're coming home🚌🙌🏼 #socalyc15 #pipelineym (at San Diego, California)

#pipelineym #socalyc15

What happens when you get #philled #socalyc #comealiveyc @socalyc @philwickham (at Grand Hyatt)

#comealiveyc #philled #socalyc

Felt like singin today🎶 #colbiecaillat

#colbiecaillat

Cause you know,,,

All you have to do is know the formulas... Just memorize all of them... Math is not that hard... stop being lazy... Because you're in college, because you use math on a daily basis, because you're taking a math class, English class and a major kinesiology class and working and volunteering at church every Tuesday ALL at the same time. Yeah... You totally have the right to say all those things to me. You totally understand what I'm going through and how difficult it is for me at this moment in my life. Actually, wait, NO. YOU DON'T. You have no idea what it's like. It's tough, I struggle, so don't just tell me it's easy and I just have to memorize the formulas. Don't call me lazy cause I'm getting bad grades. How about I call you lazy when you come home from work tired and say, "well you've just been at a desk at all day", I wouldn't because I DONT KNOW WHAT YOUR JOB IS LIKE. And you don't know how school is for me. So just stop. Stop. STOP making it seem like it's not that difficult. Because it is. &because I DO try. I'm trying my hardest. I want to be the best but I can't with you breathing down my neck. I'm trying and I am doing my best.

Its been 4 months, just 4 months. But it feel like you have been gone for 4 years, yet at the same time it feels like just yesterday I cried and said goodbye.

I miss you.

I miss you, A LOT.

I miss you everyday.

Sometimes, I just don;t know what to do. I sit and get board because you were the person I called up if I was bored. Heck, I didn't even call you, I just showed up at your house saying, Let me in. You were the one that when I was just doing homework, you still wanted to come over just to sit and be with me on your phone. There was never awkward silences. There were never times when being quiet was weird or unacceptable. I always knew being with you made me happy.

You were my person.

We did everything together. We were attached at the hip the last 3 months you were here. I was not about to let you go and leave you hanging. I was hanging on to dear life hoping that reality could change its mind. It was a nightmare that I was living. You were leaving. not just to a new city. not just to the other side of the sate. NO. You moved across the country. I didn't know what to think. All i knew was that, you were not disappearing from my life. That was not about to happen.

The first 2 weeks were rough. I was a mess. But the following weeks got easier and the months got easier. To now, I’m so confident in this relation. We’ve gone through it all and we have made it through a long distance friendship.And that brings us to now,

Its been 4 months, and its getting old. The texting. The phone calls when we can. I’m tired of just reading your words. When you get excited over something, I was to be there with you. When you’re sad and upset I want to be there and give you a hug and just squeeze you to let you know I’m here for you and it’s going to be alright. I want to see you face light up when I tell you things that happen in my life, I want to see you. I want to feel you hug me after I vent. I’m tired of emojis expressing how I feel, I want you to see it. I want to live it with you. I just want to see you in person.

I miss you, so much.

i’ll see you in 5 months.

I'm having a mental breakdown

alittlebitofpcos

Cramps that Take Your Breath Away, and Leave You with No Energy

All you said was, 'it looks a little better.' ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!!!!

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This is me.