( circus freak )

[dongwookss]

[dongwookss]

[lakewoodsixers2017]

[brincrow-archive-blog]

scmpiiternal:

      & * || A SCOFF FELL past pierced lips at the blonde’s words–though there was no mistaking the softness in the depths of his blue eyes as he watched her. It was strange how Zaiden found himself gravitating towards Brinley in a way he had never felt before. He had done everything to RATIONALIZE the sensation, internally d e b a t i n g with the sentimental piece of him until it quieted down completely. He and Brinley were NOTHING MORE than a pair settled by Bates mansion. They were not lovers. They were not soulmates. No–those things were for the WEAK-HEARTED. They were both too s t r o n g, too stubborn to fall victim to those sorts of cliches–and thus, Zaiden pointedly compartmentalized those EMOTIONS and tucked them away in the very back of his mind, squirreled away in the crevices he didn’t d a r e explore.

      “You know, being six-foot-four doesn’t make me a GIANT. We just enjoy having a nice and LUXURIOUS living space.” he drawled out in response, moving to close the door behind them. Tattooed hands lifted to slowly undo the buttons of his dress shirt, exposing the tattoos INKED against pale skin. Broad shoulders rolled to allow the fabric to s l i p off of his tall figure, already walking to the closet to hang it up before glancing back at the blonde. “Come on, Princess. Make yourself at home. You don’t have to STAND there you know.” he teased with a smirk. “You can take a shower, wash up, NAP…”

                     ❝To me, you're a GIANT.❞ Towering over her, it was no wonder it was one of the many nicknames her mind had listed for him. It being one of the least EMBARRASSING or insulting nicknames she had. Eyes lingered just as they always did as he removed the fabric from his body, it was always a sight she found far more calming than she should have. But as words filled the ears of the blonde, her eyes ripped away to scan around the large room. Trying to take all of it in was like trying to remember every single moment of her life, every small detail and every memory she begged to memorize. Feet tugged her until she was close enough to poke the bed with a single finger, almost like she was trying to make sure it was REAL before a familiar question rolled from her. ❝Can you take a nap with me?❞ It was spoken softly, almost a whisper from her.

                     It was such a small request, but it held far too many meanings for the blonde. Laying with the other always had her at her calmest, the only time the feeling of SAFE actually rolled through her mind, and her most loving memories of the two always happened when they were simply laying down. Brown eyes pulled from her gaze towards the spot her finger had poked and drifted over to the male. ❝I promise I won't kill you in your sleep.❞

[brincrow-archive-blog]

scmpiiternal:

      & * || HE COULDN’T HELP the small smile that crossed his lips as he watched her. The small hand placed within his OWN large tattooed one felt d e l i c a t e–almost fragile–but Zaiden knew better than to think of Brinley as breakable. There was something on the man’s expression–something WARM, and even l o v i n g–as he listened to the blonde with intent. Just listening to her speak, hearing her talk of cooking for HERSELF within the penthouse–it felt like he was finally h o m e. It was a SENSITIVE and DANGEROUS thing to think–to consider himself close to someone on t h i s level was something he wouldn’t have EVER dared to do before. Instinctively, Zaiden gave her hand a squeeze as he lead her away from the kitchen and deeper into the penthouse.

      “FAIR enough.” he drawled out, unable to keep the smirk off of his expression. “Are you going to kick me if I ASK you to make me food? Though, a part of me is afraid you’ll try to POISON me in my sleep.” It was a joke, easily rolling off his tongue and laced with a warm affection he reserved exclusively for the petite blonde at his side. Zaiden’s movements were easy as he maneuvered Brinley up the stair case and down the hallway. He paused at a door, turning the knob and opening it to expose an immaculately CLEAN and put-together bedroom. It was LARGE with clean wooden floors, minimalist decor, and windows that displayed the buzzing c i t y s c a p e of Manhattan from twenty-four floors above ground. A sigh escaped him as he finally let go of her hand–though sharp blue eyes lingered on Brinley for a moment. “This is my room.” Zaiden was careful not to use the word ‘OUR’ on the off-chance that the FORMER pet would prefer a space of her own.

                     Feet moved slowly as she followed close to the other. Brown eyes drifting as they strolled, her mind trying to memorize and gather as many details of her surroundings as she could, all because part of her was still sure every bit of it was a DREAM. Sure if she blinked at the wrong time she'd wake up back in the mansion, back in the cabin the pair didn't share but both slept in, back to watching her back with every step she took all while trying to convince herself the feelings deep in her stomach weren't REAL. It was what she had resorted to when it came to the pair, trying to convince herself those warm feelings she had whenever he was around were nothing but fake feelings she'd wrapped around herself as some way to feel SAFE in a mansion full of demons. Part of her knew they weren't fake, knew that you couldn't fake the type of emotions that rolled through every bit of her everytime copper eyes set on those icy blues — knew you couldn't fake that emotion she couldn't seem to admit to.

                     It was a reaction she couldn't pull back even if she wanted to, how easily lips curved into her soft smile when terrible jokes filled her ears was almost an automatic reaction by now. ❝Please, I'd be far more creative than that if I ever tried to kill you. I am offended you think I would do something so simple.❞ The blonde scoffed as she returned his joke with her very own. But any thoughts of jokes seemed to clear from her mind as the tiny spitfire of a woman stepped into the unfamiliar bedroom. It was unfamiliar, but it felt WARM and she wasn't sure she could ever explain why that feeling crossed her mind in a place so foreign to her. ❝Your room is like, three times bigger than any place I've lived.❞ The soft voice of the woman spoke out with her own quiet laughter as hands slid into the back pockets of her jeans. ❝Then again, I suppose GIANTS need large spaces.❞

[brincrow-archive-blog]

scmpiiternal:

      & * || ZAIDEN WAS PAINFULLY aware of how rough the adjustment was going to be; he was all too FAMILIAR with that ache he felt in his chest each time his ice blue gaze rested on the slight blonde in front of him. Only weeks ago, the dark-haired man had d a n c e d around those three words that could CHANGE everything. Three words, eight letters–enough to cause everything around him to come CRASHING down in a fiery, chaotic m e s s. They hadn’t ONCE dared to utter those words, too scared and too proud to admit to the feelings that they hid under the surface. Zaiden knew–somewhere deep in his heart–that the connection he shared with Brinley was so much MORE than a friendship. It was a deep, unwavering BOND between the pair that had been forged over months of finding their f o o t i n g … together.

      Her joke brought the slightest SMIRK to his lips, a chuckle his only response. “Technically speaking,” he drawled out after a moment, squeezing her slight hand within his OWN. “It’s Zacharie’s kitchen. I’m only allowed in it for show.” His tone was LIGHT, lacking the earlier s e r i o u s n e s s that had weighed down his deep voice earlier. Without thinking–acting on pure INSTINCT now–Zaiden raised Brinley’s hand to his lips, brushing them lightly over her knuckles. “I promise I won’t end up burning the place down. If you’re ever hungry, ask my brother to cook something for you. I’m sure he won’t MIND.”

               If her mind had been in any other position she probably would have felt proud of herself for how calm she seemed to be given the situation. The youthful blonde had gone from being stolen from the only family she had left, to this big mansion filled with horrors she never anticipated to face in her life. Now she stood in this enormous foreign penthouse with a male she hadn't wanted to get this close to. Being close to someone brought messy emotions and it was always too dangerous — like standing too close to the spitfire woman during one of her breakdowns. It brought difficult thoughts because her darkness-filled mind wasn't sure what was safe and what wasn't, not when she physically felt comfortable and warm around the towering male.

     Such small things the other did always managed to bring her to a relaxed state no one else could put her in. From the tone of his light voice to the squeeze of her delicate hand in his own, they all pulled this unfamiliar sense of comfort to her and she still wasn't sure if she deserved that comfort. But hearing that chuckle she always held onto pushed any negative thoughts from her mind at that moment. It always seemed so easy for the two to fall back into their usual way of things. Light jokes, soft touches, bright eyes, and warm laughter — it all matched with their teasing towards each other and she couldn't help but feel at home around it. "So, you're allowed in it, but you're not allowed to touch anything. From the stories I have heard so far, that might be a good thing." Teasing words easily fell from her soft lips as copper-colored shades remained on the other. Bright colors following as her hand lifted and lips brushed over her knuckles. Almost memorizing the action within her before shaking her head from her foggy thoughts. "Comforting promise. But I happen to be a decent cook myself, thank you very much." They were half-joking words considering her past had consisted of her cooking for her overly hungry friends and a young child. None of them were picky considering most of them had a past like Brinley’s.

[dongwookss]

i’m just a girl and you’re not as alone as you feel. we all got problems, don’t we? we all need heroes, don’t we? but rest assured there’s not a single person here who’s worthy

[brincrow-archive-blog]

zxiiden:

      & * | ZAIDEN KNEW THAT the transition from Bates to life outside of the mansion would be one that would take time; he had prepped himself mentally for the stress the young blonde may be in following their leave from the place that had originally brought them together. But at the same time, the blue-eyed man couldn’t help but let out a hushed sigh. “I understand that,” he murmured, pausing as he stood in front of her. it was instinct that lead him to raise a single tattooed hand to cup Brinley’s face, gently lifting her gaze up so that copper eyes met cold,. ice-blue ones. “And you know that if there’s anything you need, if I can help. All you have to do is say so, Princess.” This time, his words were hushed. Heavy with honesty as he searched her expression for a sign–anything–that would betray whether she was happy, angry, upset, confused… with the situation they were in.

      Zaiden wasn’t in the business of second-guessing himself. Confidence was a part of his very essence–but right now, the dark-haired male couldn’t help but feel as if this was something of a… no, not a mistake. But a premature decision. The pair had all but danced around any sensitive subject that had fallen into their laps. They carefully kept feelings under wraps–even if Zaiden admitted to himself that Brinley meant more to him than just a pet. Slowly, Zaiden sighed and let his hand fall away to instead seek out Brinley’s own small hand. Tattooed fingers laced with hers, a brow quirked. “Why don’t we go put your things away. i can show you my room and the rest of the penthouse.”

     After all this time she still couldn't stop herself from falling into the other's touch as he cupped her face. His touch always brought comfort to her, from a simple hand on her back to a hug. Any touch gifted from the male managed to pull her into this pure bliss. The young blonde's gaze landed on ice-blue colors, locking onto them like her entire life depended on holding that stone look as he spoke to her. "Thank you." Soft, her tone was almost gentle in that moment. Not sure if she was thanking him for his own words or for everything under the sun he'd done for her. There wasn't much she could say and she understood that. Brinley rarely asked the male for anything, but she always knew she could, he certainly reminded her enough for it to be drilled into her mind.

     The removal of his hand left a cold chill against her skin, but the touch was replaced once fingers laced with hers. It took her a moment to remember the last time the two held hands and after racing through her memories, she couldn't place it. A small nod in agreement was all she could really offer and something about it felt pathetic to her. Just weeks ago she had spoken a confession out loud to one of her closest friends in Bates and now here she stood, this nervous feeling in her stomach. Every bit of it seemed odd to her. "You can't cook and yet, you have a kitchen." It was the closest thing to a joke she could pull from her little hat.

[brincrow-archive-blog]

zxiiden:

      & * | HE LET OUT a low hum, automatically sensing that familiar calmness settling over Brinley’s words. Having been around the slight blonde for months now allowed Zaiden to observe her. Many considered the blue-eyed man to be oblivious, absorbed with only himself, his own power, his own success–but those who believed that hardly knew Zaiden at all. He knew Brinley, knew her ticks, her personality, her mannerisms… and that characteristic calmness held just the slightest hint of a crack–one that didn’t go unnoticed by Zaiden. He hummed, moving away to make his way into the ritzy, state-of-the-art kitchen to pour himself a glass of whiskey, falling quiet for a moment.

     He opened a fresh bottle of Jack once he found a glass, watching as the amber ale sloshed into it with careful blue eyes. “Everything okay, Princess? You’ve been quiet since our flight.” Zaiden’s tone was just as calm as hers, hardly betraying the concern he knew Brinley would feel even if he didn’t express it. He raised the glass to his lips with a tattooed hand, taking a slow thoughtful sip as his gaze flickered back to her. “I didn’t do something, did I?” It was a light joke, dry and alluding to the ‘pact’ that the pair had made about how nearly everything could be blamed on him if he so wished. He made his way back over to her, sliding the half-drank glass of whiskey onto the countertop of the kitchen island. “Because if I did, you need to tell me.” This time, words were quiet. Genuine. Honest.

    Eyes carefully followed the towering male as he moved, almost like watching the other would calm her twisting stomach in some way. The blonde had spent months trying to memorize every little detail of the male, from how he talked to how he walked. Every tiny detail had been locked away in this miniature box in the back of her mind for safe keeping. Light browns tugged away from the other to scan around her. It was far more comforting than the walls of Bates, yet it was a sight she wasn't sure about. She'd easily compare the penthouse to standing in the middle of a museum filled with the finest art - breathtaking.

    Words filled her ears and all she could really do was nod. Change was like rolling dice with the young girl. She'd either crash and burn under the pressure of it or she would come out stronger than before. So far, it was like flipping over blind cards, she didn't know where she would land. Eyes hadn't moved to set back on the male until after quiet words covered over her. Light browns searching the familiar face for a silent moment before shaking her head. "No," she let out with a small breath. It had to be the first time in hours her lips had curved into something close to a smile. "It's just a lot to take in all at once. I guess it’s just difficult to process." Honest words, always honest words with the other.

[brincrow-archive-blog]

zxiiden:

( & * | brinley. )

@brinlley

     & * | NEW YORK CITY was home for the dark-haired man; the arching skyscrapers, the busy streets, the City That Never Sleeps… it was all etched into his memory permanently. Midland was a far cry from the bustling borough of Manhattan and if Zaiden were being honest to himself, he was damn ecstatic about leaving that godforsaken town behind. It was too quiet, too spaced out for his liking–and though the Hendricks twins had momentarily debated setting an office up in Dallas for convenience, they chose a whole new route instead.

      Buying Brinley her freedom was the only decision Zaiden found himself content with. Dropping a large amount of cash wasn’t something he was unfamiliar with in general–and if it was for her, then who was he to complain? The three and a half hour flight back to his city was that of a relief–complete with private airline to avoid the trouble of something like American or Delta. His arm remained firmly around Brinley’s slim hips during the taxi ride to his Upper East Side penthouse–and as the elevator doors slid open, he ushered her inside. “Welcome to my home, Princess.” Zaiden drawled out with a mild smirk. He knew he talked quite a great deal about his penthouse–but having Brinley here instead of at the Bates-issued cabins for the masters was something completely different.

     He paused to press a soft kiss to the side of her head, stepping away to shrug off his jacket. “So feel free to settle in. I think Zacharie and Julia already split off to put their things away. Do you want anything to drink? Wine? Champagne? Water?” Zade’s tone was casual, as if he wasn’t somewhat unsure of how to broach the elephant of the room–her freedom and what that meant for them.

    It all seemed a bit overwhelming for the blonde which easily pushed her into an unusual state. Withdrawn, copper-colored hues simply taking in each movement of anyone around her, this almost shy attitude as she simply observed. It was the best way for her to process the unexpected change. The female understood why it was hard to entirely understand it, because she had mentally prepared herself for a goodbye. Set this small scene out in her head for months, preparing herself for this horrible goodbye, getting herself ready to pretend she didn't care. But it seemed plans changed.

   Letting her focus fall to the sights around her seemed to be the best way to keep her head clear, her attention falling more onto the lights of New York than the arm around her own hips. It wasn't just leaving Bates she had to process but being out in the open. Being stuck within the same walls every day for nine months certainly took a toll she hadn't entirely realized. Brinley grew up watching her own back, keeping people close but never close enough to cause harm, the mansion only seemed to intensify her need for survival. An intense instinct she didn't need as high away from the horrid building. Her own eyes hadn't set on the male's face until they reached the unfamiliar penthouse, almost like she was worried everything would rip away if she gazed too long.

    The familiar kiss to her head lifted some weight from her shoulders as feet took their first hesitant steps forward. Eyes slowly taking a small scan around her before setting on the male she'd grown so fond of. His question was blurred to her, causing her to blink twice to pull herself out of her funk before shaking her head. "No, no. I'm alright." Her own voice broke out, holding its usual calmness even with its slight crack.

[kokopbfart]