just your average blog

[tiralatele]

[qweety-deactivated20180906]

I FUCKING LOST IT WHEN HE STARTED SHOUTING

[alanturing-deactivated20211125]

[sexhaver]

broke: only slash three tires because if you slash all four then insurance will cover it but they won’t cover three (this is literally not true btw and could serve to establish in court that you were slashing their tires to cause maximum financial damage as opposed to an emotional rage)

woke: slash all four tires because fuck em

bespoke: slash two tires diagonally opposite from each other. nobody has more than one spare, it’s impossible to get up on jacks, and trying to drive it will destroy the undercarriage as it rocks back and forth and slams into the ground

true ending: don’t fucking slash tires because they’re under insane amounts of pressure and putting a knife between yourself and an exploding tire is a bad idea. just get a pair of clippers and cut the valve stem to cause an unfixable leak like a normal person

[transwrongs]

now why would u think my gay ass knows what a valve stem is…?

[sexhaver]

this fucker right here

[thebootydiaries]

im such a possessive person i just saw someone calling Karl Marx just “Karl” like they’re on a first name basis and i got jealous

[bumbleturkey]

LITERALLY POSSESSIVE OVER DADDY COMMUNISM! I THINK HE WOULD UH HAVE A FEW THINGS TO SAY ABOUT THIS!

[thebootydiaries]

u know what . i wish i had never posted this

[ampervadasz]

Unmute !

[alittlefallofgay]

The girls are TALKING

[rooftop-bingo]

the girls are FRUSTRATED because they are READY TO PERFORM AND TAKE DOWN THE PREY

[muscosus]

[lovelyardie]

When Mr Bibs sees a bird out the window that he can’t get, he gets so frustrated he just pukes

[mookimooks]

LMFAOOOOO

[garrettauthor]

This made me so fucking angry I have to inflict it on all of you.

[thyrell]

what’s the punchline here

[thyrell]

wait

[thyrell]

[tiredpug]

i work at a gym largely frequented by older women, and today as one of them left after her workout she accidentally pulled the entire door handle off and just slowly looked at her bicep in horror as if she was terrified of her new strength. it was beautiful.

[kayleefabulous]

ok so I got added to this facebook group where people post bad pictures they’ve taken of boats and do you wanna see maybe the funniest thing i’ve ever seen

[kayleefabulous]

[greelin]

good responses to getting stabbed with a sword

rude

that’s fair

not again

are you gonna want this back or can i keep it

[youlovetoseeit]

you hate to see it

[dailytwitterposts]

[clitstopher]

[softcore-boyfriend-deactivated2]

He dead

[fuckyahumor]

oh shit

[ripe]

[mimikyyuu]

Lick button

[nourrice]

sometimes you gotta: thank god that’s finished! and move on girl

[gaterade]

I’m the random punctuation

[paprika]

[iwontallowit]

[j4ya]

lasanyer

[puniper]

‘what do you even talk about with people online so much?’

[iwontallowit]

[j4ya]

lasanyer