You know what makes me sad? What makes me sad is this thought or notion that if a girl in her early twenties isn’t looking for a husband, then she’s spending her twenties incorrectly. For so long, I was caught up in my lack of a partner to share life with, and it wasn’t until this past year that I flipped that kind of thinking on it’s head. Everyone’s life story is different, and we’ve all gone through our own share of hardship and heartbreak. My story in a nutshell was a girl who spent her whole adolescent life believing that no guy would ever want her as more than a friend. When I finally started getting attention from guys in forms other than brotherly or friendly, I let it start dictating my behaviors and actions. Simply put, I liked the attention. Up until this point, I had never received that type of attention from guys, and it was exciting and gave me a rush. Down the road, this attention-seeking mentality lead me to an emotionally abusive relationship and several other unhealthy “relationships” where I wasn’t being loved the way the Lord wants His daughters to be loved. After all of these shenanigans ended, there was one boy in particular that ripped my heart to shreds. This might sound dramatic, but it was the first real prospect of a relationship after getting out of my emotionally abusive relationship years ago, and I was falling, fast. Up until recently, I never even realized I was falling in love with this guy because I had never known true love before this. Long story short, things got messy, and I began slipping into old ways. I was accepting half-assed affection and letting him get by with the bare minimum, giving me just enough attention and love to keep me around, but never fully moving me off the back-burner and into the mix of his life. After all was said and done, he left for another country, leaving me in the dust, completely unaware of how I felt at the time. It was because of this relationship that I grew extremely callous to the idea of relationships in general. In my mind, I decided it would be easier to joke around about relationships and being single, than to actually put myself back out there again. After all, humor is the best defense mechanism. All of my friends and family would constantly harass me about never having a boyfriend, and I would find some way to make a joke out of it just so they would laugh and move onto the next topic. Somewhere in the midst of all this, God was constantly working in my life, and my heart began to soften again to the idea of sharing my life with someone. I began wanting a man to walk through life with again. What never changed through the whole heart-softening journey was the comments and concerns from my loved ones. They never stopped asking about my love life, which is fine and should be expected. However, I began to notice that when I saw people after a long time, instead of asking me about the adventures I’d been experiencing, they were all far more concerned about my relationship status. I personally, think this is crap. Don’t get me wrong, I am very excited for the day that I get to start a new adventure with “Mr.Right”, wherever he is. But that doesn’t negate the fact that I have so much else going on in my life. Why should I feel this constant pressure to add “boyfriend” to my life resume? It’s not a life accomplishment, and it’s certainly not the pinnacle of life. Until I reach the point where that one guy comes into the picture, I’m going to make the most of this life I’ve been blessed with. I will choose to fill my story with adventures and telling people about this beautiful Creator who gives me all of these outstanding opportunities. He wants us to have a full life, whatever that means for each person. For me, it means exploring and having a blast until I find a man who can keep up, and then continue to embark on the journey of life (together) once I find him. As for the commentators, keep telling me what you think I need in life, and I will continue to show you differently.
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