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@brittanykorrin
I just want you here
Depress[i o n] is a r e a l DISorder
Alright guys; confession time.
For as long as I can remember, I have suffered from severe
d e p r e s s i o n.
And let me tell you, if you really have depression, it is NOT something you can talk about or admit to easily. In fact you resent yourself for getting such a deep sadness and emptiness for no reason.
You lock your emotions within yourself and try to hide the fact that you're fucking miserable because you know the moment you slip up and you show a sign of sadness in public and someone asks you 'What's wrong?', you KNOW you, yourself don't even know the answer. So you sit there and feel your blood rise to your face and it gets hard to breathe and you [choke on the words that you never really had to begin with].
And the fear of judgement and misunderstanding crowds your mind and you get frantic and the thoughts build more and your heart starts racing and you do the only thing you know how to.
Run.
And you get so overwhelmed that tears begin to run down your face as you try to find somewhere, anywhere to be alone.
A l o n e.
Ahhhh, your sanctuary. It's the one place that you are scared of the most, but somehow the most comfortable with. It's the place where no one can judge you.
The monsters in our minds are the closest things we have to friends.
I think for me anyways, that was always one of my biggest fears. People finding out. I felt broken but I never NEVER wanted anyone to know. Because no matter how broken I knew i was, no one would truly understand. Not that I would want them too. Depression is not the kind of feeling you would want anyone to experience. And I figured if people found out, they'd laugh. Tell me i'm crazy or overreacting. Or worse.. not react at all. In one ear and right back out the other. See at least if they made fun of me, i'd knew it was because they just didn't understand. No reaction at all is what made me feel crazy.
Maybe it is all in my head. Maybe i am alone. Maybe I am crazy.
Well I am here to tell you no. It's not made up. You are not crazy and you are DEFINITELY not alone.
I truly cannot stand when people say it's all in our head. They say that because they don't have it; they don't understand.
Depression is an illness that can be physically monitored by chemical and hormone balances in your brain. Yes guys, Your brain releases different hormones when you experience different situations that would trigger an emotion. If your brain cannot produce said hormones, then you are unable to FEEL emotion. You're just... empty. This is NOT something that can be made up. It's black and white, simple as that.
So quit saying it's in my head. Stop saying that we, who do suffer from depression, are being over-dramatic and knock it the fuck off with undermining something we genuinely struggle with on a daily basis.
(Also, depression does not mean you're sad because your parents don't get you or because you lost your job. Sure, these things upset you, but these things do not make you depressed.)
I don't understand why people have such ignorant views on such an unfortunate illness..
just so you guys know... it's not cool to undermine us who do deal with this and it's also a HUGE slap in the face when you pretend to suffer from this for attention.... Not cool. This is a serious thing with serious repercussions.
depression CAN lead to suicidal tendencies as self harm
Instead of judging one another for something that is out of our control...
Offer a hand. Ask if they are okay. Show they aren't alone in this and guide them to getting the necessary help they need to have a better chance of learning to cope and live with depression, all without letting it consume their entire existence.
Seriously, I love you guys so much and I mean it when I say there ARE people out there who understand and want to help you. The more we can understand this illness, the sooner more people will find the seriousness in it and will hopefully improve the negative judgements and ridiculing.
Help me open people's eyes and help those who need it.
You never know when you could be saving someone's life.
And now I just sit in [s i l e n c e]
i [make] me h a p p y
Ever notice that most people just settle to exist in life just to feel neutral, well aware that we all consciously desire to live to feel euphoria?
The majority of us are so content with dismal views of life. We settle for stress and getting upset and being unhappy for days, weeks or even months at a time.
The l i g h t in your eyes fade each day we let this dark monster that is negativity consume your existence all while in the back of your mind we beg a higher being that you may or may not even believe in to give you a break and hope someone walks into your life who will fix all your problems and make you happy and feel loved.
And after awhile you begin to notice almost every day, you shy away from the world, avoiding human interaction because the thought of pretending to be 'fine' or 'okay' seems too far out of reach. You get home, to your room and you sit there in the darkness, in the silence, in the sadness..
Your mind begins to decay from the negativity and it seeps down into into your heart, affecting your emotion's and feeling's ability to even function.
You just
shut d
o
w
n
Wouldn't it be nice to find a hero to save you?
To give you pep talks when we are down? To remind you of the good in your life, even when it feels like you have nothing? Someone who is strong and independent. Who gives you the motivation to fight for your happiness. Someone brave and capable of proving to you that happiness does exist.
Everyone wants to find something that makes our darkest days fade away into a distant nightmare.
The wonderful part is that whether you realize it yet or not,
You do.
We all do. We all have a soul in our life that can open our eyes and minds and hearts to the beauty of happiness.
And that soul is you.
It always has been. You and you alone hold the power to you being happy. The outside world can only affect your emotions if you allow it to. Your happiness has always and will always be on your terms. So stop trying to look externally for an answer that can only come from within. So stop turning to self harm or ingesting pills. To people's opinions and judgement calls of approval. You numbing the pain wont fix anything, it only masks the internal demons you hold.
You are stronger than you realize and you are capable of so much more than you realize.
The sooner you come to terms with the fact that you are the only one that can make you happy, the sooner you will move on to a healthier and happier existence.
My Biggest Influence
Who influences you?
Usually when asked you immediately run through your mind trying to find a proper candidate to best express who you are as an individual.
Ever notice that most people always pick a human? It's never an inanimate object... like ever. And in most cases why would it be? I mean inanimate objects have no depth, no insight or knowledge that you could agree with. No cool style that inspires you to dress like...
But, when I think of what influences me, I don't think about the visible and verbal persona most people portray in attempts to fit in or be cool. I don't think about the words that come out of a person's mouth because talk is cheap and 90% of the time that person doesn't even practice what they preach. I mean, let's just be blunt,
a person should not influence your life because of their outer appearance to the world.
So when I hear that question, I begin to think about all aspects of the universe. Things that are out of our control, things that are placed in our life, whether we like it or not
and i've noticed that after thinking about it, I always find my mind wander towards the sun and the moon.
The moon doesn't have crazy fashion, or hopes and dreams to be rich and famous. It doesn't hurt people or ask for anything or writes witty tweets for a good 'favorite' response.
It just exists.
and it's existence alone, enables us to exist. Without the moon, the Earth would would no longer have a stable rotation around the sun. Life as we know it would cease to exist. Because the moon exists, we are able to exist.
Same goes for the Sun. The sun is simply just... there doing its own thing, not paying any attention to anything else. why? because they both don't care. They are doing what they are suppose to do, what they were made to do without any expectation of even a thank you from us.
So this star and this rock allow us to existence so we can run around on this planet and do the dumb shit that we do.
Honestly, when was the last time you sat down and really appreciated the moon and sun and all they do for us?
But there they are, day in and day out, working hard so that we can roam this planet. They are there for us but unintentionally. They make our life beautiful just by being in our presence. They are silent yet change billions of lives everyday.
So don't let people influence you. You have a mind, you are capable of learning and experiencing and expressing all on your own. Look at the bigger picture and appreciate the rare things that DO influence you regardless of whether you want them to or not. Just about every influence in your life is on your terms.
That's why I choose the moon and sun to be the beiggest influence on how I live my life. No person should ever subconsciously dictate who you think you want to be.
Be yourself, you beautiful ass soul, you.
LET THAT SHIT GO
Little motivational rant for all my lovely virtual friends:
'Life sucks.' 'They just don't get it.' 'I'll never be as good as them.' 'Why me?' 'How do I get out of this?' 'I am so alone."
Sound familiar? My God, how is it so damn easy to get lost within our own negativity? And no matter what anyone tells you, whether it happens consciously or subconsciously, we ALL have been there, asking ourselves these questions.
And I swear man, there was a time in my life where these questions CONSUMED my mind. There was nothing, NOTHING that I was not stressing about.
You get to a point where you mentally cannot breathe, choking on the tear gas that is 'stress'.
Bleh, the thought of once being in that mental state makes me cringe.
But lets clear our minds for a second.
Forget that your boyfriend left you, forget the cooler guys at school that pick on you for being different, forget your parents yelling at you to be more than yourself, forget money forget the unknown future. and lets just read these words. Let it all go; this is just me and you right now.
I don't think people realize how alike we really are. We are all lost. We are all totally winging life right now. All that bad shit that you are letting consume your life right now will be absolutely meaningless once your soul moves on from its human existence on Earth.
We have 80 years give or take on this planet IF we're lucky. What in the actual hell are we doing wasting that time dwelling on other people who hurt us just because they themselves are dealing with their own internal issues and don't know how to express themselves properly?
That guy that dumped you for another girl.. FUUUUUUUUCK IIIIIIIIIT.
He was just a tool in your life to teach you a valuable life lesson. Those so-called 'friends' that stabbed you in the back and shunned you when you needed them most? Guess what.... life lesson, my friend. Rocky relationship with your parental units? Dude, they are still trying to figure what the hell they are doing too and are usually just trying to protect you from what they are dealing with.
Stop trying to put the pressure of being perfect on yourself all the damn time. Never gonna happen. Never. SO you know what you have to do?
Learn to let it go.
The sooner you realize that some things are out of your control and the best thing for you to do is stay positive, the better. Remind yourself that so long as you are still conscious in your fleshy body on this Earth, there is still hope to change your life and your outlook of it.
Learn to embrace your imperfections, and help others appreciate theirs. Smile more and express yourself without hesitation. Follow your passions and encourage others to do the same. Learn to love the unlovable and accept everyone for who they are, good and bad. Understand when someone puts you down its because they:
A. Don't understand or
B. Do understand completely but are too embarrassed to admit they are human and aren't perfect so long as they are human. (which is silly; honestly you should stop that)
We are all in this together. You aren't alone and you WILL get through this.
much luv for the broken souls,
Brittany Korrin
I'm not here to save you; I'm here to inspire you to save yourself.
“It bothers me that no one has the patience to deal with someone who is just sad.”
(via childish-cambino)
#clairvoyant