- I didn’t sleep hardly at all the night before the race. I feel very awake when I was getting ready and nervous. I felt so damn nervous. I checked the weather probably 10 times just before we left. Humid, hot and rain. Okay. This is just what its going to be. Get ready.
- I know they hate when people wait until the last second, but I HATE when they tell you that you have to be on the shuttle before 6 am when the race doesn’t start until 7:30. We sat around on the ground for two hours waiting. I actually fell back asleep.
- They didn’t have a pace group for the time I originally wanted. 4:10 was my goal. I started in the first wave and just decided to just try and keep my own pace managed. I saw My wife about .3 miles into the race - I also saw that my garmin didn’t start. Wonderful. We ran the first half a mile up a hill. Off to a great start.
- I settled in. Found my stride, my breath and everything started to come together. I felt really great. Invigorated. Ready. I wanted to be running. We ran through the town with all the narrow streets and cute little shops, I loved it. The crowds were great, lively and none of the other runners around me were annoying! SO much winning!
- I felt really good until about mile 8. Pushed myself to mile 10. By then the humidity was so bad I was wringing out my pony tail. The air was so heavy, thick and sticky it made my skin crawl. Breathing got really hard. It was due to rain and that made it even worse. I later learned that there was 100 percent humidity happening the entire race and extra water stations were being put in place for us.
- At mile 11 I took my first walk break. It was hard to breathe and my legs started to feel like bricks. Great. Just great. While walking, I tried to gather myself. Re think my over all goal. My plan. If I was going to pull this whole thing off I needed to figure something out. I walked next to another woman for a bit and we got to talking. She has run over 10 marathons, easily runs a 3:40 and was dropping out at the half because she just wasn’t feeling it today, the weather was horrible. She offered the same option to me. I didn’t have to run a marathon today. But I wanted to. I wanted to finish what I started. Somehow I was getting to that finish line.
- We got to the half marathon mark, 2 hours on the dot. still on track. it also happened to be the finish line only we continued to run right past it. I absolutely hate when a race does that. BUT I got to see my wife. I asked her to walk with me for a min and she did. I told her this one was going to be about survival and not giving up. I told her I was okay but it was not going to be the marathon I hoped for and not to panic when it took much longer than usual for me to finish. It meant everything getting to have her next to me for that little bit.
- The second half of the course was… a nightmare to put it lightly. The nausea was so bad I was certain I was going to end up throwing up on the side of the road. The heat and humidity was just too much. Especially going on over 2 hours of activity in it.
- Being by the water was STUNNING. It reminded me of running at the Jersey Shore with @a-mandarin over the summer. Thinking of her made me smile. I looked for sharks - none. The waves breaking over the wall and splashing us was pretty cool too! BUT the not cool part? The wind. It was windy for miles. So windy that it made my bib feel like it was going to rip off my shirt, my skin started to hurt and my eyes kept tearing, I could feel sand sticking to my face. This went on for a few miles. And then would stop. And then would come back.
- I would find some people to run with.. hang with them for as long as I could and would walk when my stomach made it’s way back into my throat. I took in some water from water stop to water stop and just told myself that as long as I kept moving forwardI was doing absolutely everything I could. I couldn’t ask myself to give something out there that I didn’t have. I would make new time goals. And then watch them slip by. Pretty soon I threw time out the window all together and just made one goal. Finish.
- Everyone around me looked terrible. Clearly suffering. Shuffling their feet. Head down. Dripping sweat as if they had jumped into a pool. It wasn’t the most uplifting sight. The good news was no one was dropping. Even if they felt like death they were not giving up. I was right there with them. We saw a family riding horses on some of the otherwise desolate back roads - I thought about asking them to trade my soul for their horse so I could just ride away… but I knew I needed to get myself to the end of what I started.
- It got lonely out there. And really painful. One foot in front of the other. Run a few mail boxes. Walk a few mail boxes. Repeat. and repeat. AND REPEAT. Think of other things not the fact that this is taking an eternity. Work on coming to peace with the situation and that right there is the best thing I could have done for myself. Attitude was going to save me a lot of heartache.
- At mile 21 someone came up next to me, “are you heather?” she asked. Turns out it was @enduringsunshine! I didnt even know she was running this marathon! We became a team after that, I tried to send her ahead at one point but she stayed with me. And then I stayed with her. We walked what we had to and ran what we could. Talking the whole time. I couldn’t believe this was happening! What are the odds? I was SO glad she took the time to say hi to me because it became what ended my marathon journey on an extremely high note. We had never talked before so this was a whole new interaction and I loved it. I do better also when its not just about me - now I had two reasons to pull this finish off. Her and myself. It started to rain. Then it started to downpour.It got chilly Then we froze. At least some of the water stations were fun to look at! Those poor souls in the rain for us… what great people! I’ll give that course that - the volunteers were AMAZING.
- Mile by mile by mile from then on out, one foot in front of the other. I started thinking about what you all would think - if I should be embarrassed. If you guys would be embarrassed for me. If my mom would be disappointed. If my running community back home would think less of me. But you know what? What did I THINK about me? I thought I was strong. That I had the chance to quit 100 times over and I didn’t. That I knew running was a gift. That it meant something just to be able bodied and out there. That I had come so far from the girl that couldn’t run a mile in january. From the girl who tried to end her life last year. I would rather be caught in the rain, with the wind in my face, completely up hill then dead. And on top of that, the universe had given me a friend to complete my journey with.
- The last half mile I ran felt like gold. I don’t know how, but it did. Right into the finish shoot with @enduringsunshine at my side. We were both excited and I think we fed off each other. My wife was there, standing in the pouring rain like the amazing woman she is, nodding with approval. She knew I fought like hell for this finish. I knew that look on her face. She was proud. The finish line felt good. Real good. @enduringsunshine and I hugged for what felt like the best kind of forever.
- Was it the marathon I was hoping for? No. Did I get somethings out of it I never could have imagined? Absolutely. I finished in 5:02, a personal worst by almost an hour. That’s right, I said an hour.
- One marathon does not define me as a runner. Its not a reflection of my abilities. My love for the sport or my preparation. It just wasnt my day, and that’s more than okay. I know running is a give and take sport. I know some times Im just not going to have it in me.. and that sometimes that day is going to land on a marathon day. I don’t think any less of running. Of myself. Im excited for the next marathon. For the next chapter. More memories. More sweat, pain and what the fucks. Its in my blood, the love for this sport. Mentally I am at peace with the journey and how it unfolded and then ended. I have no regrets. There is nothing I could have done differently. I still completed a marathon and at the end of the day, that was the ultimate goal. I’ll never EVER forget you, Newport, that’s for damn sure. Hopefully race photos will be up soon!
prguitarman
annaxmalina
turnnoffyourmind
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